Pain. It was all he remembered. All he could comprehend. All he felt. 

The roaring pain in his side, the more than subtle ache darting around in his head, fueling the ringing in his ears that trudged on like the beat of a drum; the film of dust and soot that covered his eyes, blurring his vision and worsening his headache; the wounds and scratches and bruises scattered across his tattered skin. 

But there was a pain far worse than anything he'd ever felt. He felt - loss. A void that tore a part of his soul away - an emptiness that was the constant reminder of the terrors that he had endured. 

He felt lost, like he was trapped in a maze with no way out, and no one to guide him home. It was a pain similar to that of losing a limb - parts of you were missing and would never be returned. 

He couldn't explain what he was feeling; he was never good with emotions. But he knew somewhat that he was lonely, and that his heart was yearning for someone to come and warm it up, and give him the love that he needed so desperately in that moment. 

He recognized the feeling of mourning - he had felt it in a similar way when he discovered of his parents' death - but only this was beyond comprehensible. 

His own heart couldn't keep up with the whirlwind of emotions that tugged at every inch of his battered body, and he felt as if he would pass out from the exhaustion. To him, at that moment, death felt like the only solution, like it would solve all the problems that were piling up in his conscience. He didn't consider the fact that his absence would bore a heavy loss to the team, or how much it would hurt his love, if she were even still alive. In that moment, it just didn't register - he felt like his life was non-important, like he had failed the one thing he had been born for. 

He didn't know if his fiance was alive, and that worrisome thought simply joined the millions of others that weighed his heart down, pulling it deeper within his body, threatening to tear it to pieces. 

He kept his eyes closed, afraid of what they would reveal before him; afraid of gazing upon the effect of his failure, and the chain reaction that would follow, leaving a giant path of destruction and loss in its wake. 

The robot girl of whom he had recently met stirred beside him, resting a hand on his shoulder, causing him to flinch. She didn't say anything, nor did he expect her to - she had lost those she loved in just the same way as he had. 

But was it the same? Was it the same feeling? Did she feel the same dread and grief that he did? 

He didn't know, and didn't plan on asking; not right now, at least - his mind wouldn't allow it. 

A vision of Peter ran through his scattered mind, causing moist tears to form behind his lidded eyes, and he tensed. He wouldn't allow himself to cry, to appear more fragile than he already did. 

But his heart, had other ideas. 

A small wail pushed itself through his chapped lips and cut the silence between the two beings, as the memory of the innocent kid that he had let down rang through his brain, doing nothing but strengthening the sickening feeling of sadness and loss that accompanied his tears. The girl rubbed the back of his shoulder blade, a small sigh escaping her. He didn't know her name, he never thought to ask, because he didn't think that it would matter. Now however, it mattered more than anything - he was regretting just that small decision solely because of the fact that she was the only one he had left now, the only one that was able to somewhat understand what he was feeling. 

"You mourn," her robotic voice sliced the silence like a knife, jolting Tony out of his own mind. His ringing ears strained to understand her words. "I understand it," she started again. 

The feeling of her palm left his skin, and he listened for the footfalls that ended when she sat down next to him, listening in on the howling breeze that blew through the barren environment. She said no more. 

 Slowly, painfully, he allowed his eyes to open, and instantly he regretted it. The scene that unfolded around him shook him to the point of where he was forced to turn back to the darkness, hiding behind his eyelids and praying that he could sink into a hole and disappear. 

She felt his trembling, and Tony sensed her eyes glued to his shaking frame. She remained silent. 

"It hurts like hell," he managed to croak, his voice tangled in the dryness that resided in his throat. "Worst pain I've ever felt."

"Which one?" she replied. "The physical pain, or that sinking feeling you feel tugging at your heart?"

"Both."

There was a pause before she continued. "I really do get it, truthfully - to be torn from all you loved, when you know deep down what your feeling is true. I've felt that my entire life."

"What?"

"Anguish, sorrow, guilt, hate - for myself mostly - and heartbreak."

Tony thought for a moment. Maybe she did understand what he was dealing with - on some level at least. But he barely knew her - all he knew, was that she was against Thanos, and that she were here for the same reason he was. 

Thanos. A chill ran down his spine at the mere thought of the titan that had caused him more misery and agony in one day than he had experienced in his entire lifetime. Still, though, he managed to keep his composure for a little longer, hoping he didn't appear as helpless and weak as he felt. 

He winced once again as the searing pain in his side peaked for a moment, making him feel as though his flesh was being slowly torn apart and then smashed back together. The pain lasted for a good full minute, and he shifted uncomfortably on the ground, mentally pleading for the bitter feeling to subside. His eyes were sealed so tightly together now that it hurt; not that he felt it, as it was nothing compared to the endless circle of torment that jolted throughout him. 

Suddenly, a large boom echoed across the planet, sending Tony and robot-girl careening backwards and into the air as the ground heaved beneath them. 

He remembered hitting the ground with a sickening thud, feeling and hearing his bones cracking. The pain was so surreal that it virtually disappeared, making him feel relief for a moment, even if it never really left. 

He felt himself scream, but he couldn't hear it over the loud high-pitched ringing in his ears, and he saw a light emit through the dark cloud of his mind, and felt it unfold in front of his eyelids. 

Then, he was still. 

He didn't move, mostly because he felt he couldn't. The pain was so overwhelming, that he struggled to keep his heart beating. He wheezed, loud enough to the point where the sound penetrated the ringing barrier over his mind. 

But even over the stabbing sensation of all of his bones breaking, and his blood boiling, he was able to hear a familiar voice, one that he hadn't heard in a long while.

And . . . what was it? It was . . . it was calling his name! 

Still unable to put a face to the voice, Stark remained completely still, his limbs burning and his heartbeat slowly fading. 

"STARK! STARK!"

He coughed heavily, and felt warm, metallic liquid crawling up his throat. He tried to answer the call, but was met once more with a hoarse choking cough, and blood oozing through his open mouth. 

"BY THE NINE REALMS, STARK? WHERE IN ODIN'S NAME ARE YOU?!"

His head lolled to the side, the blood that pooled in his mouth dribbling slowly down the side of his jaw. He moaned in pure agony. 

The piling stack of emotions still lingered over his heavy, now slow-beating heart, seeming to worsen with every thought of his friends and family. 

However, the negative feelings started to fade - surprisingly - when another outrageous wave of pain rolled through him. His breathing started to slow, and he could no longer hear his heart beating within him - all sound was drained, even the ringing in his ears faded into the silence. 

Was this what death felt like?

Suddenly . . . all the despair and heartbreak and sorrow was replaced with happiness and joy, and sweet memories of the things he now knew he really had loved. 

The sweet image of Pepper in all her blonde glory swept through his mind, her smile lighting up the whole room wherever she went - her elegant body graceful with every move that it made, even when she happened to stumble and trip over herself in the hallways. His lips tingled as the memory of her lips on his pierced into his mind, warming his heart and giving him a sense of joy; he truly loved this woman more than anything. 

Before long, it was the kid's turn, and Tony watched as his memory replayed all the times they had spent together - negative ones too - and he felt wondrous. He wished he could smile in that moment, because he sure as hell would have. 

Moment by moment, Tony Stark was taken through his life - through the good times and the bad, through the sick and the healthy, the injured and the weak. His soul brightened at the thought of all that he had really accomplished in his life, and all those he loved and all those who loved him back. 

He knew his death would rain down a wave of grief and sadness among his family, but that was okay, for once. He had done everything he needed in his life, and had given everything his best. He only wished that Pepper, Hap, Rhodes, Peter, and perhaps even his father, were here with him right now. 

He let one last breath pass through him, before his world came to a slow, and painless stop. And the last thing he did, was smile. 

~

To Be Continued . . .