Song: The Chainsmokers - Closer.

Imagine; you left the avengers behind after an accident, four years later you see Bucky again, whom you had a relationship with before you left.

•

Sweaty bodies grind on each other on the dance floor not far away from you. You'd think you'd eventually grow tired of clubs like this, but no.

Ever since you left the avengers because of the accident, you've been here almost every night for four years, it's sad really, you know that, you just don't care.

You'll do everything to just forget about the accident, it's not easy to get rid of the vivid memory of accidentally hitting a kid who happened to run through the line of fire just as you pulled the trigger. But the alcohol pretty much blurs it for a couple hours.

After drinking you usually just go back to your own place, crashing down on the mattress laying in the corner. But tonight you decided to stay a bit longer.

'Why did you bring us here again?' You hear an all too familiar voice, you'd recognise it out of thousands.

You turn your head to confirm that he's actually here with most of the team. Looking around and almost looking you right in your eyes, but you quickly look away, trying to hide.

He was the hardest to leave behind, not only because you were dating but also because he was right there on the mission, he was on that roof with you when you took the shot. You cried over him when you left, hard, ugly crying.

And even after 4 years it all still hurts, mainly because you haven't actually tried to better your life, to truly let go, maybe you should have, maybe you should get up and leave. Something stops you though, what if this a sign from up above or the universe or whatever?

Next thing you know, the chair next to you gets taken and the person taking it leans his back against the bar, looking at the crowd in front of him.

'4 years...I haven't seen you in 4 years and this is the place I run into you...' he speaks up.

You don't reply, you don't even look at him. Truth is you don't dare to look him into the eyes, you're scared of the way he will look at you because for sure it's going to break you.

'Y/n...look at me... please...' he leans closer to you.

'No...matter of fact just leave me alone Bucky... don't do this...'

'Do what?'

'You know what...' you finally look at him, expecting him to look at you with this broken puppy look, but instead he seems happy, to see you or to be here maybe?

'I'm just trying to have a friendly conversation...'

'Bullshit you scoff... you're already trying to convince me to come back...don't lie to me...'

'Oh like you're lying to yourself saying it's your fault?, saying that you're not a real avenger?' He fires at you and you turn your chair.

'I'm not ready to do this...' you want to walk away but he grabs your arm. 'Not here...'

'Then let's go outside and talk, I actually hate it in here...' he suggests and even though you want to say no to him, you can't, you can't get the word out.

'Fine..' you give in as you let him lead you outside, finding a quiet spot to sit and just talk. You end up a lot further from the club than either of you intended.

You're sitting on a bench, eyeing the lit up fountain in the middle of the park.

'Let's talk...' he speaks up as you cross your arms. 'Y/n, where have you been all this time?, why haven't you even tried to reach us?'

'Because I'm trying to forget...everything... if I reach out to you guys all you ever do is try to talk me back and I specifically said I don't want that....'

'It really hurt...still does...'

'If I could go back and change it I would've...but I can't... that accident-'

'Yeah you said it right this time, "accident", meaning that it's not your fault!"

'I should've seen the kid coming Barnes!, it could've been an accident but I should've prevented it from happening and I didn't!, that kid died because of me!' Tears blur your vision, your voice is so loud, you're basically yelling at him.

'Y/n we all make mistakes sometimes!, they doesn't mean you should leave everything behind, leave me behind...' this is what you've been afraid of, his voice breaks and when you look at him you see that look in his eyes that you feared the moment you turned your head back in the club.

'You think it was easy?, I loved you Barnes, I still do and it fucking hurts okay?!, every time I think about it I see you... I broke you and I feel so guilty for that, my life is a mess okay and I will admit that I myself am a complete hopeless fucking mess!, I have a crappy apartment with a mattress in the floor, I drink every night and I sleep most of the day... because I am an idiot!'

'How many times to I have to tell you that it's all in your head?, nobody thinks you're an idiot, nobody thinks you're a bloody mess!, we all miss you... me most of all... I know what it's like to have something that awful hunt you, we all do... but that's what is part of the job, and that kid, he was fine by the way, you just graced him...you would've known that if you stayed...'

'What?' You ask quietly.

'Yeah the kid... he is totally fine, he just started high school, he got up and had to get stitches, but you were gone by the time he got out of sickbay...he wanted to thank you for defending the city, for killing off the bad guys...for making the neighbourhood safe again but you were gone...'

You feel the tears spill over your cheeks, everything you've been trying to stuff away for those four long years finally reach the surface.

'FUCK!' You yell out as you shoot up and pace around.

'I ruined everything!'

'Y/n... breathe... just breathe...' Bucky wraps his arms around you.

'I'm so sorry... I'm so sorry if I had known...'

'But you didn't... y/n... breath before you pass out...'

'I messed up my whole life...everything... I ruined everything...'

'Y/n... look at me Doll..' Bucky whispers as he cups your cheek.

He wipes a tear away with his thumb as he looks into your eyes. 'You're not messed up, you didn't ruin everything, we can all fix it if you just come with me... please?'

'You still want me?'

'I've never wanted anything more.. I know what happened took its toll on you but we can help you...' he says hopeful. 'So what do you say?'

'Yes, I'll come back... but only if you give me another chance..'

'Doll I'm not walking away until I've had the chance to kiss you at least once this evening...'

'Then what are you waiting for?'

He tilts your head up and placed his lips on top of yours and you have to admit that you missed this, you've missed him.

So baby pull me closer in the backseat of your Rover
That I know you can't afford
Bite that tattoo on your shoulder
Pull the sheets right off the corner
Of the mattress that you stole
From your roommate back in Boulder
We ain't ever getting older

(Bonus)

'I found Barnes, of course he's walking away with some random girl...' Sam groans watching the scene in front of him.

'Wait a second, Sam that's no random girl...' Steve squints his eyes to see better and he can actually see that it's really you. 'That's y/n...'

'No way...'

'Took you a long time to figure out... I saw her from the moment we marched into that club...' Nat smirks.

'You planned this didn't you?'

'Of course I did, why would I ever take you grandpas to a club if it wasn't for a special purpose?'