@Ticketposter

Knock, knock, knock.

Your whole body froze at the sound, the dishes you'd been washing dropping into the sink with a clatter as different scenarios ran through your head.

Could it be Steve?

Rebecca, with news of Bucky?

The milkman who didn't deliver your milk on time last week?

As calmly as you could, you dried your hands on your apron and steadily walked to the door.

You took a shaky breath.

Calm.

Swinging it open, you came face to face with an older man in uniform and a young woman dressed in a leather bomber jacket and dark green slacks.

You tensed.

Army officials did not mean good news.

"You're Y/N?" The man asked, his voice gruff and his face to match.

"Who's asking?"

"We are. Captain Rogers..."

The woman trailed off as you pressed your lips together in a thin line. You'd seen the films and how greatly liked Steve was by the American people.

At least, most being under the age of twelve. You didn't like the fact that he was prancing around like a fool and you knew that Steve must be hating it.

"You've got him putting on quite the show."

The woman sighed.

"Agent Peggy Carter. This," she gestured to the man, "is Colonel Phillips. We've just delivered news to the Barnes family—"

"What?"

Peggy stopped and you could feel the blood draining from your face as she bit her lip regretfully.

"James Barnes is missing in action. He was on a mission with Steve Rogers."

"Carter." Phillips said, his voice a warning.

She avoided the scathing look the Colonel directed at her and kept her eyes steadfast upon your own.

You didn't know what to say. It couldn't possibly be true, your best friend not being on this world anymore and as your chin began to tremble, you clenched your teeth together, determined not to cry.

"I'm sorry for your loss, ma'am."

"He died an honorable death. Buck would've wanted it that way." You murmured.

To be quite honest, Bucky would've much preferred to live. Unfortunately, you didn't think the humor behind such a comment would've been acceptable by others who wouldn't understand, especially since the ones standing in front of you seemed to be nothing but grim-faced.

"We're here on unofficial business. Nothing on the books, but we need you to come with us."

Peggy's jaw tightened at the lack of sympathy shown by the Colonel, but you ignored it, clutching the knob of your door.

"Go with you? Where?"

The Colonel opened his mouth to answer when Peggy held up her hand to cut him off.

"Steve isn't doing well. After Barne's death...," she quickly amended her sentence as you grimaced, "the fact of the matter is that he needs you."

"And we need his head in the game," the Colonel said flatly, earning himself a glare from the Agent.

"I'm not gonna beat around the bush, ma'am. He needs a reminder of why he's fighting."

You cocked your head in disbelief.

"I don't mean to be disrespectful, Colonel, but our country is at war. That should serve as enough reminder. It's the whole reason why that punk left me in the first place."

Peggy smiled at your sharp retort and the corner of Colonel Phillips mouth turned up just the slightest.

"Your presence is greatly requested, ma'am. Please consider it," he said, bowing his head.

"Requested by whom?"

Peggy cleared her throat.

"By me."

————-

You wiggled into the bomber jacket Peggy had lent you and straightened the lapels, taking the gun one of the Howling Commandos had given you and strapping it to your back. After agreeing to fly with them to Europe, you'd met Steve's men at the base, all of them perfect gentlemen, and upon leaving Peggy's room, you found yourself in the company of one of them. Dum Dum Dugan, a cheerful man with sharp blue eyes and a bowler hat.

"You don't happen to know where Captain America is, do you?" You asked.

"Suiting up, I s'pose. This way, m'lady."

He offered you his arm and you gladly took it as he directed you through the base and stopped in front a simple metal door.

"Just through there. Good luck."'

You stood in front of the door for few minutes before hesitantly knocking and when it opened, you swore you heard your heart break in two. Dark circles had formed under his near swollen eyes and the tip of his nose was red, proof that he'd been crying for some time. All that vanished from your mind when his face brightened like the sun itself before dimming a little, his elation in seeing you being overwhelmed by the concern for your safety.

"Y/N. What are you doing here?"
You raised your chin with a small smirk.
"I'm here to win a war. What are you doing here?"

The reunion with Steve was all you'd hoped for. You'd cried with him first, the pain of losing a friend deep in your hearts before he'd swept you up into a kiss that more than made up for his absence, a prolonged show of love that had you gasping for air. He then proceeded to scold you and when you'd told him it was Agent Carter that requested for you, he stiffened and your sharp mind understood what it meant immediately. Unless he told you anything, you refused to assume. She was, after all, a very admirable woman and as you charged the HYDRA base right beside her, you found she was just as fierce.

You'd blasted your way through a horde of HYDRA soldiers, shooting mercilessly with Dugan and Gabe right behind you. You were running down any tunnel you felt you should when you came to a stop, the sound of gunfire a distance away.

That's when you saw it.

Steve and Peggy standing close together off the side of a tunnel, looking at each other in a way you couldn't quite comprehend. Gabe cleared his throat as a sad sort of panic sunk your heart into the depths of your stomach. Peggy jumped away from Steve and he looked right at you, his face a bright red. You didn't put your head down awkwardly or tried to pretend you hadn't saw what you had. You stared at him defiantly, challenging him to explain the situation and when he tried, Peggy interrupted.

"Weren't you about to..."

"Right."

He gave you one last glance before running off and you couldn't bring yourself to look at Peggy as Dugan gently reminded you of the mission. You brushed past her and stalked down the tunnel with the intent of getting as far away from the moment of heartbreak as you could.

"Peg."

She winced at the sound of disappointment in his tone.

"I know that looked bad, Dugan, but I promise you, nothing happened."

"Sure, sure. Let's just get this over with, yeah?"

—————

You didn't know where you were going, only trying to rid yourself of the sounds of men shouting and guns firing and the constant image in your head that wouldn't go away.

Steve and Peggy.
Peggy and Steve.

You couldn't run from your own mind and you couldn't bring yourself to run from Steve. Steve, whom you've loved since he was the little guy in the back alleys of Brooklyn trying his best to do the right thing.

"Come in. This is Captain Rogers."

Your head shot up in attention at the sound of his voice and you hurried down the tunnel, turning into HYDRA's control tower as the radio spurted out Steve's voice.

"Do you read me?"
"Captain Rogers, what is your..."

You moved Jim out of the way as gently as you could, but ended up mouthing a quick apology as he tumbled off the chair.

"Steve? Is that you?"

"Y/N?" Almost sobbing with relief, you gripped the mic closer. "Y/N! Schmidt's dead!"

"What about the plane? The one Phillips was talking about?"

"That's a little bit tougher to explain." He said, his voice strained through the feedback.

"Give me your coordinates." You demanded. "I'll find you a safe landing site."

"There's not going to be a safe landing. But I can try and force it down."

"I'll get Peggy! Maybe she—"

"There's not enough time. This thing's moving too fast and it's heading for New York. I gotta put her in the water."

You sucked in a deep breath as tears began to gather in your eyes, a hot lump forming in your throat. He sounded so ready, so willing.

"Please," you begged, your voice cracking, "don't do this."

"Right now I'm in the middle of nowhere. If I wait any longer a lot of people are gonna die. Y/N, this is my choice."

He paused when you said nothing.

"Y/N?"

You couldn't bear it, the love in his voice as he said your name, forcing you to answer.

"Yes?"
"We're okay, right?"

Hot tears slid down your cheeks as you thought of him piloting a plane straight into the ocean, all by himself. All alone.

"Of course we are, Steve." You managed to choke out. You didn't notice when Peggy and Colonel Phillips stopped at the door, taking in your emotional state.

"You kept your promise, ya know. You won the war. You did it."

Crackling feedback.

"We did it. All of us. And Y/N?"

"Yes, Steve?" You said, your heart practically shredding itself into pieces.

"I'll always love you, Y/N. Always have, always wi-"

His voice cut off, the line going static as your tears dropped into your hands, your heart going the same direction.

"I love you, too, Steve." You said weakly even though he couldn't hear you.

"Steve? Steve?"

You were calling for him so desperately that Colonel Phillips had to look away, afraid of becoming invested in the emotional situation you were in. When he didn't respond, you slammed your hands into the console, effectively breaking a few parts as you sobbed. You hadn't been able to tell him how much you loved him.

How much every smile, every touch, every little thing he did added onto the already massive amount of affection you had for him.

How much it would hurt for you to see him gone.
He knew and although you were captured by spiraling grief, you were proud of him. Proud of Steve for being the little guy you'd fallen in love with since the beginning.

A gentle hand gripped your shoulder comfortingly and you immediately knew who it was.

"You loved him." You said simply after a long moment of silence.

"I...I did. But, he didn't share the same feelings as me."

Peggy swallowed as you brought your hand to cover her own, holding onto it with all the strength you could muster.

"I didn't pursue him any longer when he said he was spoken for."

"I don't blame you. What's not to love?"

Peggy hesitated.

You were understandably sad, but she wanted to ask anyways. She'd seen the way you'd fought through those soldiers and not only did she think of you as a valuable asset, but another founding face.

"I know it doesn't seem right of me to ask you this, but the SSR could always use another female hand. It gets quite lonely surrounded by men all day."

You snorted with laughter and turned to face her, her eyes glowing with hope in the wake of tragedy.

"I just radioed in on the death of my boyfriend and you want me to join the organization that landed him in this situation?"

Peggy stared at you, undaunted as you stood up, squaring your shoulders.

A twinkle of amusement sparked in your eyes and the Brit relaxed with a gusty sigh as you pasted a convincing smile on your face.

They had given him the chance.
And you'd finish it for him.

"I'd be honored."

"Captain America will be missed." Colonel Phillips remarked, clasping his hands respectfully behind his back.

"No. Not Captain. He was Steve Rogers until the very end. And that's," you sighed defeatedly, "that's who he'll always be. Steven Grant Rogers."