Warning! This is part one of two.

Note: I know that picture is of a tragic circumstance but holy cow he looks good...

- 2014 -

 I had graduated Harvard with a double first in Biology, I had a doctorate in Neuroscience and had received the highest scores of any Harvard student in my field. Research teams, Universities and private organisations sent me many job offers but I eventually accepted a job from my father, otherwise known as the Secretary of State, Victor Pierce.

At first I was working on research, but my father told me of a secret project he and a few other SHIELD agents had been working on. It was apparently top secret, and needed a trustworthy neuroscientist. I was intrigued so I accepted the job, but I then realised it was a very twisted and I had no way to back out. I was already in too deep.

Learning that the group known as HYDRA was still operating in the shadows of SHIELD was enough of a shock, but then learning that my father was the leader of such an organisation hurt me. Not only that but my father wanted to use my neuroscience doctorate for horrid deeds - the torturing and brainwashing of agents particular HYDRA agent who was also the worlds most feared assassin.

My work was twisted. It was not what I envisioned myself doing whilst I was at Harvard. I wanted to explore the neuroscience, learn about how to heal the brain not how to distort it into a brainwashed murdering assassin. I thought this every time I checked over the machinery that loomed over the chair the Winter Soldier was forced into whenever HYDRA required his service. My colleagues, Dr Turner and Dr Flint were working on the screens that operated the machines.

I went to check over the power source, my back to the horrid chair and menacing machinery. It sent chills down my spine every time I saw it. The lift doors opened making me jump a little and in came the STRIKE team dragging the Winter Soldier along with them. They ripped off the top of his black leather uniform before shoving him onto the experimental chair, then surrounding him with their fingers on the trigger of their guns. The doctors and I turned to assess the situation but to my surprise there was broken parts of his metal arms which Dr Turner examined straight away. I simply watched but I was more focused on the Winter Soldier than on Dr Turner, and I realised there was a look of confusion on his usually expressionless face.

Suddenly he sat bolt upright, punching Dr Turner roughly with his slightly damaged metal arm sending him flying across the room. I gasped and stepped back as the STRIKE team pointed their guns at the Super Soldier, whilst Dr Flint went to check if Dr Turner was okay.

The gates to the lab opened yet again and in walked my father, his stern and controlling look staring at the Winter Soldier. "Mission report," he demanded, tucking his glasses in the inside pocket of his jacket. The Winter Soldier remained quiet, simply staring. It was obvious he was thinking deeply about something that was causing his confused expression and a part of me wondered if he was remembering. "Mission report now," my father repeated.

Dad stepped closer to the Winter Soldier, bending down to his level and suddenly slapping him across the face hard. I winced as the noise reverberated around the otherwise silent room. "The man on the bridge," the Winter Soldier muttered, his voice croaky. "Who was he?"

"You met him earlier this week on another assignment," dad explained, hinting at the assassination of Fury.

"I knew him," the Winter Soldier said. My eyes widened as I stared at the man who looked so unsure of himself. I wondered if he had begun to remember anything from his previous life, from before HYDRA and before his life as the worlds deadliest assassin. Goosebumps appeared on my skin as I watched my father sit in front of the subject.

"Your work has been a gift to mankind," dad said softly. "You shaped the century, and I need you to do it again. Society is at a tipping point between order and chaos. Tomorrow we're gonna give it a push. But if you don't do your part I can't do mine, and HYDRA can't give the world the freedom it deserves."

I almost scoffed at my fathers words. "But I knew him," the Winter Soldier said again, his voice cracking. I had never seen him wear anything other than a stoic, fierce expression but now he looked so lost as his voice cracked. My heart hurt as I watched him, and I saw him glance up at me with a look that screamed for help.

"Prep him," dad suddenly said, standing up and turning to me.

"H-he's been out of cryo-freeze for too long," I muttered, hoping they'd give the man a rest but I was naive.

"Then wipe him and start over," he said simply.

"But-,"

"Now, (y/n)," he demanded.

"Yes sir," I whispered, nodding to the other doctors. I bit my lip and watched sadly as they pushed him back into the experimental chair, shoving a mouth guard in his mouth. I had to force myself to look away, trying to ignore the fact I was about to cause him immense pain as I tapped a button on one of the screens, locking the Winter Soldier in place on the chair. I swiped the screen, activating the machine stood behind the chair. It had two mechanical arms which lowered two discs either side of the Winter Soldier head, then pressing them right against his temples. I could hear his heavy breathing as he anticipated the intense pain he was about to receive, and my hand trembled as my finger hovered over the activation button.

Closing my eyes tightly I hit it, sparks of electricity sounding followed by the intense screams of the Winter Soldier which were muffled by the mouth guard. I refused to look back at him as I could barely deal with his screams, let alone the undeniable pain he would be expressing through his body.

Out the corner of my eye I noticed my father leaving followed by the majority of the STRIKE team, leaving two goons behind. "Increase," Dr Turner said behind me and I placed my unsteady hand on the dial to increase the machines power. I turned it slowly, wincing as his screams intensified.

"Twenty percent," I muttered, trying to focus on the numbers slowly rising on the large screen in front of me.

"More," Dr Turner ordered.

"We can't increase it too quickly, he's been out of cryo for too long-,"

"I said increase," Dr Turner said, him believing that because he was older and a man that he could boss me around. This sparked irritation within me and I turned to glare at him.

"What did you say to me?" I glared threateningly and he backed down. "We increase slowly otherwise it'll be too much too fast. Unless you'd like to take over and then explain to my father that you've killed the best assassin HYDRA has ever had?"

"No ma'am," he muttered irritably.

"It's 'no Doctor Pierce," I said firmly. He simply nodded and I sighed deeply, daring to glance at the Winter Soldier who was panting heavily, muffled screams leaving his mouth. Anger was beginning to fuel me as I had no choice but to turn the dial up until it hit 100% whilst Dr Turner spoke his trigger words to keep him in his Winter Soldier mode.

The machines suddenly stopped and the Winter Soldier's expressionless face came back. It was obvious he was tired, immensely so, so we prepped the cryo-freeze tank for him, the two STRIKE goons dragging him to it and harshly shoving him in. I glared at the two of them irritably. "Thank you, we can take it from here," I growled at the two of them.

"We've been ordered to stay-,"

"And now I'm ordering you to leave," I said firmly. It was rare that anyone stood up to me because of who my father was, so they backed down and headed towards the lift. We shut the door and began the icing process, the tank slowly frosting. "Dr Turner, Dr Flint, you can leave too. It's late and I know you both have families to return to," I said, trying to sound as though I wasn't trying to get rid of them, just simply trying to encourage them to go home.

"Are you sure Dr Pierce? We don't want to leave you alone with him," Dr Flint, who was the nicer of the two, said.

"I have to control words. It's okay," I assured them. They did as I suggested, heading towards the lift and as soon as the doors shut I turned off the cryo-freeze. Slowly the pod defrosted and I gently opened the door, his skin still slightly frosted but he opened his eyes.

"What's going on?" He asked as he looked around to see it was just me.

"I- do you remember your mission... from earlier today?" I asked and he just glared at me. "The man on the bridge... you wanted to know who he was," I tried to gently remind him.

"I knew him..." he finally muttered and I nodded.

"Yes you did, you knew him from your past," I said quickly and he looked at me, confused. "You had a life before this, a normal life... your real name is James Buchanan Barnes," I breathed.

"Who the hell is Barnes?" He asked.

"It's you- that's your name before you became... this," I tried to explain. His glare turned into slight confusion, unsurprisingly so. I needed to find official evidence of this, I needed to find him something that would help reset his memory and understand himself again. "James Bucky Barnes-,"

"What did you just say?" He suddenly perked up but in a threatening tone. He stepped out of the pod, walking closer and closer to me. I backed up until I was right up against a wall, him towering over me.

"I-I just said your real name-,"

"You said 'Bucky'. That's what the man on the bridge said," he growled, his metal fist clenched by my head.

"I-I did-,"

"What the hell does it mean?" He growled threateningly, smashing his fist against the wall. I whimpered but I could see a sense of loss his eyes. I didn't want to admit I was frightened but I knew it would take him less than a minute to kill me and I wouldn't stand a chance of survival.

"I don't know- I think it's a nickname-,"

"Shut up!" He suddenly screamed making me jump out my skin. He pulled himself away, stumbling backwards and clutching onto his head. "Shut up," he growled, then standing up straight and looking me straight in the eye with a deadly glare in his. Panic washed over me and out of fear or instinct, I quickly spoke his trigger words to try and gain control over him again. This seemingly worked as he stood up straight, to attention as though he were an actual soldier.

"Into the cryo-freeze pod, soldier," I directed him and as though he was a puppet he did exactly what was asked. I felt guilty doing this, but I knew I needed to free him. That was my mission.

- Timeskip -

My heart was racing as I entered the lift. This was something I knew I had to do. Seeing the Winter Soldier go through all this pain was twisted, and I knew there was a chance he could be set free and still live a somewhat normal life as his original identity. If I found out more about his past other than knowing just his name then maybe I could access deeper parts of the brain and hippocampus. I knew I had the capabilities of setting the man free, and I made it my own personal mission to do so. "Mr Secretary's office," I told the lift as confidently as I could.

"Access denied," the lift said, it being designed to recognise my fathers voice.

"Override, Pierce, (y/n)," I said, knowing I had access to his office.

"Override complete," the lift said before ascending. I knew my father wasn't in his office, him to busy being occupied with a meeting with the world council. Despite this I knew I wouldn't have long and it was dangerous. I also knew that the lift would be able to tell him that I had had access to his office, so I also needed to come up with a good story as to why I would need to go there.

The lift came to a stop on almost the top floor as my father was a narcissist and enjoyed feeling like he was on top of everything. I quickly entered the large space and headed over to the large smart table. I plugged in the computer accessory I managed to get ahold of which had the ability to cover up all searches after its insertion. I wasn't really sure what I was looking for, after all all files to do with anything HYDRA related would be encrypted heavily. I leant on the table and bit my lip, deciding to start with what limited information I knew.

I typed in 'James Buchanen Barnes' and a photograph of a wartime folder appeared. I swiped and there were scans of his original file from 1943, with details of his regiment, physic and ranking. I pulled out a memory stick I had brought with me and tried to copy the files over but a lot of it was encrypted. It took me a few tries to crack it, but eventually I was able to copy the files. Learning about the origins of HYDRA would be another good place to search, so I typed it in but there was nothing prior to 1950 which was when SHIELD was founded. Still I searched through those files and came across a name that stuck with me: Doctor Arnim Zola.

I had heard the name before but I couldn't put a finger on where from. I quickly typed it in but there were still no details before the inception of SHIELD. I tried a few other buzz words - 'Winter Soldier', 'Arnim Zola' and 'Super Soldier' but nothing came up. I knew then that I was going to have to try the long winded version of finding the records I wanted: going down to records and searching through the miles of files they've got down there, however a sudden sound distracted me.

A musical ding caught my attention and I realised that someone had pressed for the lift to come up to dads office. As quickly as I could I pulled out all of my accessories and slipped them into the inside pocket of my suit jacket just in time for the lift doors to open and dad to walk in. "(y/n)," he seemed surprised to see me but he also knew I had access to his office. "What're you doing up here?"

"Just wanted to see if you fancied going for lunch- a late lunch," I added realising it was already 15:00. I tried to look as casual as possible despite leaning against the smart table. I saw his eyes dart from it and up to me again. I put on a sweet smile and he sighed.

"Sorry darling, I've got too much work to do right now. We can schedule a time for tomorrow though? We can get a table at that café you like," he said.

"Yeah okay, I'd like that," I said with a smile - after all he was still my dad. "I'll leave you be then," I added, heading to the lift and waving at him as the doors closed. My heart racing, I leant against the handrail and let out a deep breath, putting my head in my hands. "Records," I muttered, my request appearing on the screen. The lift departed, heading down but stopping to pick somebody else up. Unfortunately for me that somebody else was Rumlow, and a few of his goons.

"Dr Pierce," he greeted me and I gave him a nod in return. He looked at the screen in the lift, it reading records, and glanced back at me suspiciously. I tried to look at casual as possible, almost ignoring the strange look he was giving me. "Lobby," he commanded and the lift once again took off. I tried to distract myself by looking out the window. "It was good of you to let those two doctors off early. And my guys of course," he said and I tried to hide the shiver that ran down my back.

"Yes... I had everything under control so I thought they might as well get back to their families," I said in the nicest tone I could muster.

"Still... must've been weird to be alone with him. He's not very chatty is he?" He said and I gulped. "What did he say to you?"

"Not a thing, he was cryogenically frozen," I said but he squinted at me. "I believe this is your stop," I said, being thankful the lift had finally reached the lobby. He didn't say anything, simply left with his goons but he stared at me as the lift doors shut finally leaving me on my own again.

After what felt like an achingly long ride I had finally reached records. It was a long, endless hall which was dimly lit and filled with rows and rows of bookshelves and filing cabinets. For each electric copy of every mission, every report, every plan there had to be physical documents as well, all of which were stored here going back decades. I knew it was going to take a while, and if things were so heavily encrypted on the database I dreaded to think how deep I'd have to go in this grimy hall to find what I desired.

- Timeskip -

Once I was finally back in my flat I let out a sigh of relief. The intensity of the last couple of days finally caught up with me and I felt my body drain of energy as I dropped my bag to the floor and walked in to the open plan lounge and kitchen of my flat but before I turned the light on I felt a presence behind me.

I whirled around quickly and my stomach dropped when I saw James Barnes / the Winter Soldier standing in the shadows, the moonlight seeping through the window lighting up his eyes. I was shocked to see the man standing in my apartment, but what unnerved me more was the fact he was holding a gun firmly in his hand. He was however somewhat distracted, and I saw there were a few open files on the table he was standing next to, the files I had dug out about his true origin.

"James..." I whispered and his eyes flickered up at me.

"I don't know who this person is," he growled and my heart was beating incredibly fast.

"That person is you," I dared to say. His glare was deadly but he looked back down at the document he'd apparently read over and over before I arrived home. "What are you doing here?"

My mouth went dry when he raised his gun in the air, directing it straight towards me. I realised there and then what had happened - my own father had ordered his number one assassin to kill me, his daughter. Despite the fear I was feeling I didn't move, I stood my ground as I knew running was futile. To my surprise however I saw his hand trembling slightly, this being something I had never witnessed before.

I didn't know what to say as we stared at each other. My lip trembled, unable to fully comprehend that my father would be willing to assassinate his own daughter for his twisted organisation. "Please make it quick," I breathed, knowing I didn't have the skills to fight the Super Soldier. I fluttered my eyes closed, heard the click of the trigger but nothing happened.

Slowly I opened my eyes and saw him lower the gun but his eyes were still glued to me. "Run. Hide," he growled, his fierce gaze unnerving.

"What?"

"Run. Hide," he repeated. I was shell-shocked, unable to believe that he wasn't going to kill me. It was the first time he went against his mission orders so at first I doubted him, wondering if he was going to kill me when my back was turned but he showed no sign of doing so. Slowly, not turning my back to him, I went to the bedroom and pulled out an old holdall. I stuffed some random clothes in but knew I couldn't take my passport as, when my father undoubtedly investigated the crime scene, he would find it suspicious that it had disappeared.

I came back to the living area where he suddenly stormed up to me and jabbed me with a needle. Fear filled me instantly but instead I saw him withdrawing some of my blood before pulling it out. He splattered the blood on the wall and shot a bullet into the wall. "Won't they be suspicious without a body?" I asked but he remained silent. I wasn't really suspecting an answer, he was a man of few words after all. I quickly gathered up the documents on the table and stuffed them into my bag, knowing exactly what it was I needed to do with them. If I couldn't be the one to make him fully remember who he was, then I knew of one other person who might. "Thank you," I whispered, about to leave through the front door but he pulled me back.

"Not the door," he gestured the window.

"What? I'm four floors up!" I hissed. He silently took me to it and gestured the roof of the nearby building. I looked down to the road below me, knowing I wouldn't be able to make the jump. He was impatient however, took ahold of me and jumped across. I clung onto him for dear life but we soon landed and he dropped me to the floor. "Ow," I muttered.

"Run and hide," he said yet again and he jumped off of the building. I quickly stood and looked over the edge, shocked that the Winter Soldier had seemingly vanished. With one last look at my flat I sighed, grabbing my holdall and running along the rooftops of buildings until it was are to head back down to the streets.

I knew exactly what I needed to do, so with my hair tied up and a cap hiding my face, I headed to a stationary shop at the other side of the city and bought with what little cash I had an envelope, some tape, a pen and some paper. I took these to a public toilets and slipped Barnes' folders into the folder and wrote Captain America's address on the front. I knew I had to wait until the man himself had destroyed HYDRA once and for all, but I had the documents all ready to go.

Knowing I needed to flee the city I headed for a bus stop, tears welling up in my eyes as I thought about the fact my father tried to have me killed. I was shocked by the Winter Soldier's choice to go against his master but I was incredibly thankful. I somehow needed to create a new life for me, a new life somewhere far away.