For @mikeyashcal5sos -  Enjoy!!

        I drove by all the places we would spend the time we wasted, I thought about our last kiss, how it felt, the way you tasted. And even though your friends tell me you're doing fine, are you somewhere feeling lonely even though he's right beside you?            

       It had been almost three years since Sokovia, and Pietro's supposed death. Clint and Natasha knew that he wasn't dead, but they hadn't said anything to you. You still had no clue. His "death" had crushed you, and it had taken you nearly a year to even accept he was gone. Now, three years later, you and Bucky were dating. That relationship had started with the similar pain you were going through. Steve had been killed during the confrontation with Thanos about two years ago, and it had nearly destroyed Bucky. He didn't come out of his room for almost a month, so it wasn't a surprise to the rest of the team that you and Bucky eventually got together. Pietro would talk to Clint and Natasha, asking how you were, and they would update him. They told him you were doing fine, that you were happy again, but he couldn't help wondering how often you thought of him.

        When he says those words that hurt you, do you read the ones I wrote you? Sometimes I start to wonder, was it just a lie? If what we had was real, how could you be fine? Cause I'm not fine at all.

        Pietro knew you were happy again, and though he was happy for you....it hurt him. You two had been talking about engagement, and now everything that you had talked about.....It had gone out the window. He had written letters for you, writing one letter every two weeks, and you still had the box of letters in storage. You remembered getting each letter, but you couldn't quite bring yourself to get rid of them. Bucky still had moments, especially at night, when he would forget that he was in the tower and not back with Hydra. Pietro knew that, and he wondered if he ever hurt you, and if you went back to his letters when that happened. The part that hurt the most was that you seemed fine now.....But he wasn't.  

         I remember the day you told me you were leaving, I remember the makeup running down your face. And the dreams you left behind, you didn't need them, like every single wish we ever made.

          He couldn't get the memories of you saying goodbye to him when he 'died' out of his head, no matter how hard he tried. He remembered the tears pouring down her face, and he remembered the feeling on her hand in his for the last time. He remembered from before he 'died', the nights that they would sneak out, and they would look up at the stars, making wishes whenever they could. They had dreamed of what their life together would be like, but now....All of that was be gone, and in just the blink of an eye. 

         Oh, I wish that I could wake up with amnesia, and forget about the stupid little things. Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you, and the memories I never can escape, cause I'm not fine at all. 

           There were so many nights when he couldn't fall asleep, and it was simply because you weren't beside him. You had fallen asleep on the couch together so many times, and then you had woken up in his bed with him, his arms wrapped around you. Everywhere he went, he saw things that reminded him of you, or that he knew you would've loved. 

           Those pictures that you sent me, they're still living in my phone. I'll admit I like to see them, I'll admit I feel alone. And all my friends keep asking why I'm not around- It hurts to know you're happy, yeah, it hurts that you've moved on. It's hard to hear your name when I haven't seen you in so long. It's like we never happened, was it just a lie? If what we had was real, how could you be fine? 'Cause I'm not fine at all.

           Clint and Natasha had managed to get all of Pietro's things back to him, including the photo album that you two had started making the first day you had said 'I love you' to each other. He loved going back and looking at those pictures again, but it just hurt to see you two so happy....and he had to remember that could never happen again. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't accept that. He couldn't let go and let himself start to heal. Every time he saw Clint and Nat, he told them that he would only ever have eyes for you, and that he wouldn't ever love anyone again now that he didn't have you. 

           I remember the day you told me you were leaving, I remember the make-up running down your face. And the dreams you left behind you didn't need them, like every single wish we ever made. I wish that I could wake up with amnesia, and forget about the stupid little things. Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you, and the memories I never can escape.

            One day, Natasha and Clint retuned, bringing with them a small notebook filled with your beautiful handwriting. You had made a notebook filled with little lists. Lists of different things that you wanted to do, things you and Pietro had talked about.....And a list of how you wanted your wedding to go. The last list was of things that you would do differently if he were still alive. That one was particularly painful to read, because he had just found out that Bucky had proposed, and you had said yes.

          If today I woke up with you right beside me, like all of this was just some twisted dream. I'd hold you closer than I ever did before, and you'd never slip away. And you'd never hear me say.....

           After that day, he hadn't gotten out of bed for nearly two weeks, dreaming that he still had you. He dreamed that you were still with him, and he dreamed that you were beside him, and that you two were just having these little conversations, refusing to get out of bed again, the way you used to.

           I remember the day you told me you were leaving, I remember the make-up running down your face. And the dreams you left behind you didn't need them, like every single wish we ever made. I wish that I could wake up with amnesia, and forget about the stupid little things. Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you, and the memories I never can escape.

            As he finally made himself get up, he looked at the picture of you again, he smiled slightly, remembering the amazing days that he'd had with you. He was always going to love you.

           'Cause I'm not fine at all. No, I'm really not fine at all. Tell me this is just a dream.......'Cause I'm really not fine at all.

            He managed to sneak into your wedding a few months later, and as he watched you and Bucky as you danced. You were happy again, and he was happy that you were happy. He didn't think he was ever going to heal again, but you had. And that was all that mattered to him.