part two

Milly is already out, waiting, when his car stops at the entrance. She quickly climbs into the passenger seat.

He does a double take when he registers what she's wearing. Loose white t-shirt, the front of which is tucked in her denim cut-off shorts. She's usually in her boots, but she ditched that for a simple white sneakers.

It's the first time he's seen her this casual and laidback in public.

"Kanina ka pa?" he asks as he pulls out of the driveway and onto the road.

"Not really. We ate lunch outside. I didn't go up na, para 'di hassle," she answers, fishing her phone out to answer a text message.

"With your friends?"

"Ran and Neve, yes."

"Influencers, like you?"

A light tugging at the corner of her lips softens her face. "No, they're private people. Master-that's Ran-we call her that-she's somewhat known on social media. But Neve, most especially, is a very private person. Surprising nga that she's dating that guy, who's like, the media's favorite snack."

"Sino?"

"Lorenzo Vallejo. Do you know him? Their family's pretty up the ladder."

"Who won't know him? The only heir."

"Right? Impossible not to hear their names when we're more or less in the same circle of society."

Kai remembers the party and a certain guy. How she smiled at him, as if they share a secret, and kept texting all night.

He frowns.

"He's the friend of the other one."

"Who?"

"What's his name. Ah, your Isaiah," he says loosely, but the sarcasm slips through his tone.

The weight of her stare makes him uncomfortable. He can see her smirking from his peripheral view.

"You remembered what I told you and Kuya Evan. That they're friends."

"I don't forget easily."

"Right, you said that before. Love it when you're jealous, babe," Milly teases, chuckling, her dainty hands running up and down her arms.

He turns to her and reaches for the AC to set the temperature higher.

"My jacket's at the back. Use it if you're cold."

Again. She's staring at his face.

Only to smile that damning smile.

Kai turns to her briefly, enough to catch it dancing on her lips. As soon as he returns his attention back on the road, the soft warm curve of her mouth presses a kiss to his cheek, and he takes a quick breath to wave off the rush of heat flushing in his chest.

"So attentive," she says, looking over to the back to find his jacket.

A second later and she's wearing it. A black windbreaker that hangs quite loosely around her slim frame. With one hand, she gathers her multicolored hair and pulls it up into a messy ponytail, exposing her neck where he just recently left his mark. Now concealed with makeup.

He tightens the grip on the wheel, the memory from Thursday night resurfacing in his mind.

She looks good in his clothes, but even more when she's under him, soft, pliant, and-

Dammit.

She's starting to rub off on him.

Kai cranks the volume of the radio up to drown out the disturbing images in his head.

Milly blinks at him and he can read the confusion on her face, but he doesn't say anything for the rest of the ride.

***

"Does Kylie know how to play any instrument?" she asks when they enter the music store. It's a two-storey building, and they're immediately greeted by the overwhelming line of different acoustic guitars hanging on the wall when they come in.

"Walang alam 'yon."

"Do you think she'll want to learn? I'm thinking of getting her a kalimba. It's way easier to learn. And it's cute. They have stocks in the store."

The what?

Here she is again, losing him with her jargons.

"Kahit anong ibigay mo do'n, tatanggapin n'on."

"I'll get one instrument for your library too. A harp, maybe. Just to fill that big space by the window. Sayang yung space."

The staff-just one girl and one boy happily greet them-and Milly waves a hand before she tells them her purpose for visiting.

The boy runs off to the door at the far end of the store while the girl walks over to the glass displays. Milly smiles up at him and leads him to the second floor where one white grand piano sits in the middle. At the other end are the violins, cellos, and other stringed instruments that he doesn't know the name of.

He doesn't miss how her gaze lingers a second too long at the piano, taking in its grandiose elegance, before she looks down and then finally away.

A familiar expression and a familiar reaction. He's seen that before. Back in Cebu.

And in that concerto she brought him to.

"Here tayo. They'll get the kalimba and my cello strings for us."

She hooks her arm around his and pulls him to the other end where three large wooden instruments stand tall and elegant.

"I think this will look good in your library. What do you think?"

"Don't get the harp kung para doon. I have plans for that space. If you want that, find another space for it," he answers.

"What plans?"

"Basta."

Milly lets him go and runs a finger across the strings, and the harp responds. The gentle sounds it produces are resonant, almost shimmering to his ear. He watches her intently as she positions herself behind it. With two hands, she starts plucking, and the strings vibrate, making melodic sounds that he has never heard in person before.

How such a thing can produce such a sound from strings alone is beyond him.

How such a woman, this woman, can produce such a sound like that with just her fingers alone is beyond him.

"Ganda 'no? It'll fit your library."

He has to nod because it is.

And her library now, he wants to correct her. But he stops himself. Because why would he say that?

The girl rushes to them in that moment, and Milly steps away from the harp to check the small acrylic instrument she gives her. The keys are made of metal, and the transparent acrylic is in a heart shape and looks quite decent, but it's a curious little thing that he's never seen before.

As if reading his mind, Milly lifts it to his view for closer inspection. She thumbs one of the keys, and a gentle ringing sound follows.

It sounds like a chime.

"This is a kalimba. It's easier to learn, so I want to get Kylie one."

He nods.

Kylie will definitely fall in love with it at the very first glance.

He can already imagine how his pesky sister will jump around and dance in the house to brag about her newest gift. Especially since it will be from Milly, who she calls as her greatest idol ever.

Then she'll pester him to bring them together again, nonstop, until his ears bleed.

"Do you have another shape?" Milly asks the girl.

"May cherry blossoms po. Two stocks na lang."

"I'll get that one."

"Make it two," he jumps in. "I'll buy the last one."

The girl takes the kalimba back, nodding, and rushes to the stairs again.

Milly looks at him, questioning. "Why are you getting two? Para sa 'yo?"

"Sa 'yo. Nang 'di mo 'ko kulitin 'pag naiinip ka."

"May kalimba na 'ko."

"This one's for our space."

A playful smile immediately flits onto her face at what he said. "Your library might turn into a music room."

"That was turned into a library for Kylie. You know how obsessed she gets with her books. But it's your space now. Fill it with whatever."

"But don't touch that big space by the windows?"

"Oo."

He didn't really have plans for that. It's meant for Kylie to fill in.

But now he does.

When the girl returns, she's already handing over two flower-shaped kalimbas and a box containing the cello strings Milly requested, the words steel core written on its front.

Milly thanks her and then she's leading him over to the rows of cellos on the other side. Kai follows her quietly.

"Play ka ulit, ma'am. 'Di ba gusto mo po ng double bass?"

Milly declines at first out of sheer politeness. The other staff joins them and asks the same thing. He can see her hesitating, but when the other customers on the second floor turn to them expectantly, prodding her to do so, Milly finally agrees.

Their eyes meet, and Kai points at the piano, but she refuses with an amused smile and a slow shake of her head.

"Ano gusto mo, ma'am? Kunin ko bass?" the boy is asking now.

"Cello na lang? I've gone rusty with the contrabass na, e. I don't feel confident."

The guy nods and hands her the cello.

She carries it with one hand and picks up the bow with the other, then she's sauntering over to the available chair nearby with a slow, lithe gait. After adjusting the height of the cello, she sits and balances it between her knees, leaning the instrument back against her chest.

"This is what you played last time. It's a popular piece," she's telling him, and then she breathes in slowly.

With a graceful stroke, the low melodic notes of the cello play out, encompassing the whole floor, and soon, he's hearing that familiar song again. The one he put on the other day. The Swan or whatever it's called.

He can feel the room stand still as the customers approach them, all captivated by her playing. The girl pulls out her phone and starts taking videos.

Kai would've cautioned her, but he finds he can't move either. Afraid that he'll disrupt her if he does. Finding it difficult to even look away from her.

Strands of loose hair are falling all over her face, and her eyes are bright, completely taken in by the song she's playing. He's noticed it before.  There's a glow about her that only becomes present when she's one with her music.

Her eyes are glittering when she smiles up at him, and an automatic smile pulls at his lips in response.

"In love with me now?" she mouths.

He smirks.

All of the people there did.

Why won't they? Milly looks different like this. The focus, the precision. The gentleness. She seems different looking like this. Different from that woman who seduces him notoriously without hesitation. The same woman who pulls animalistic desires out of him with the way she moans and takes him in completely.

The one he's watching now is different.

She's lost in her own world. The quintessence of serenity.

But it's nothing, nothing compared to the image of her that he saw in her videos when she played the piano.

Nothing like the exploding passion, looking so well in her element, where she thrives. He can't forget how her playing had piqued him, pulled him in. Him who never once bothered to delve in any music. With the downward press of her brow, the undivided attention, the enraptured energy in which she pressed the keys. Music became alive under her fingertips, and she takes people with her.

She's enjoying it. She's breathing it out. She's one with it.

The piano is where she looks the best.

He wants to see that Milly again. But she quit.

Why?

She's answered that question before, but there's something he can't put a finger to.

Something else. Something deeper.

He doesn't know, and not knowing's unsettling him.

After her little cello demonstration concludes, another customer buys the very cello she used right away. Milly thanks the staff when they finished their purchase, and the glow still hasn't left her face when they make their way down.

But he sees it again.

That quick, lasting glance at the piano.

Gone as soon as it came.

"They'll deliver the harp tomorrow evening. Ako na magre-receive," he says when they're back in the car and on the road again. "Saan mo ilalagay?"

"Sa other side na lang."

"Malapit sa pinto?"

She hums her assent and takes out one of the kalimbas. "They call this the thumb piano," she says. "Any song request?"

"Bahala ka."

Then she starts fiddling with the thing, and the gentle chimes of the keys pour out and wash over them.

"This is Canon in D by Pachelbel. I'm sure you've heard of this before. It's common lalo na in weddings," she starts and then she's wrinkling her nose. "Fun to play if you're first violin. Horrible if you're playing the cello."

Kai gives her a quick look.

"Why?"

"You just keep playing the same notes over and over. It gets boring after a while lalo na if you've played it countless times now." She laughs. "It's good to listen to when you play it with a quartet though."

"Quartet," he repeats. "What's that? You mentioned that last time."

"A quartet? Ah. A group of four string players. Typically, two violins. One viola. One cello."

Kai frowns. The longer he spends time with her, the more confused he becomes.

"There's even a viola?"

He hears her chuckling again. "Not all non-musicians know about it nga. Meron do'n kanina sa store. You play it like a violin but it sounds more like the cello. You remember the violin-looking instruments kanina sa right side? But they're bigger? Viola 'yon. They have a lower sound, but not lower than a cello."

"First I heard of that."

"You've probably heard how it sounds na rin, but 'di mo lang alam na viola nga. For non-musicians, it can get confusing hearing the violin and viola, and even the cello and bass sometimes. We played Bruch last time. May viola 'yon."

He's not following, but what the hell.

"Sa lahat ng 'yan, anong pinakagusto mo?"

Milly pauses, and the kalimba stops singing. "Hard question. I like them all but if I need to choose one, cello, I think. I like deeper-sounding instruments. I personally would want to hear more of the contrabass but it's too big for me to carry around."

His frown deepens. What the fuck is a contrabass? "Ano naman 'yan?"

"Yung mga nakatayo na mas malaki sa cello kanina."

"Ah." He does remember seeing that earlier. "You're good at the cello. Why didn't you pursue playing that?"

"I don't have dreams of playing in the orchestra anymore. Or making a career from it."

"Not even a soloist?"

"Yeah. Concerts are not my thing anymore."

"Pero hilig mo makinig."

"Coz they're nostalgic and ingrained in me na. But playing is different. It's more of a hobby to me now."

"'Di ba sayang?"

"'Di naman sayang. I still get to play when I want to. Ba't 'di ka nagtingin ng gusto mo kanina?"

"I'm not interested in music."

"Sabi mo, yet here you are. Had a date with me at a music store."

"This isn't a date."

"Sure," she teases, and then she's plucking the metallic keys again. "Heard of this before? It's another popular piece. By Chopin. Nocturne Opus 9. Number 2. Familiar ka?"

No, he's not.

He's never heard of it, and even if he does, there's no way he'll remember. He's shit at music. Where she excels. Dumb ass.

"That's a long, complicated name."

He remembers seeing a similar title from one of her videos, but he doesn't understand what it is at all.

"They catalogue it like that to sort the pieces easier, but it's difficult to remember nga kasi mahaba," she replies, nodding.

"It's what? Opis?"

"Opus. It means work. It's a way to catalogue a published piece or a group of pieces because some composers like Mozart have more than six hundred published work. Beethoven, more than a hundred. Galing 'no? And here I am, struggling to even finish my songs sometimes."

"Why not actual words? Like The Swan."

He sees Milly placing a strand of her loose hair back in her ear, and his attention briefly drops to her neck again.

He swallows and turns back to the road. Fucking hell.

"Ah, that's because it kinda gets difficult to find a title for each piece lalo na kung marami. Some do have nicknames though. Like Pathetique. Your favorite. The one you sent me," she explains. "Efficient naman yung numbers. Mozart has six hundred pieces. Can you imagine naming each one? Kaya numbers na lang."

"Six hundred," he repeats in disbelief.

"Fascinating 'no? Even more 'pag nalaman mong he died early. At thirty-five. Yeah, man is a prodigy. He started composing when he was five. The OG lodi."

Kai glances at her. "How long has it been since you stopped? You still know a lot."

"I attended a music school, s'yempre. And it's basic knowledge na rin. Mozart and Beethoven are household names. Naririnig mo na rin sila for sure. 'Di mo lang napapansin. This is Beethoven."

She plays a tune in the kalimba that he has, in fact, heard of before. Where, he can't remember.

"That's Fur Elise. And this is Mozart's Eine Kleine Nacthmusik." She changes the song again. "Or this. Piano Sonata 11, known as The Turkish March."

Her thumbs pluck the keys faster, and another tune he recognizes ring out in the air.

Milly's too focused on the kalimba to notice that he's watching the absorbed expression on her face again.

"Kung makakabalik ka pa sa pagpa-piano, anong gusto mong tugtugin? Isa lang."

"Hirap naman. I like almost everything I hear," she says. "Depends on my mood if I want a fast one like La Campanella. Or a slow one, like Liebestraum. Or Widmung." She suddenly halts, and she turns to him with an odd, thoughtful expression on her face.

"What?"

She blinks and shakes her head. "Nevermind."

"Ano nga?"

"I just remembered how you liked Pathetique. I think you'll enjoy Liszt's arrangement of Widmung."

Vid-what?

"Play it," he says instead, to understand her.

Milly takes her phone out and pairs it with the sound system. Soon, the soft keys of the piano start filling the air.

He steals another glance at her and notices how her fingers are drumming against the back of the kalimba.

Like she's playing along with the song.

"Anong title nito?"

"Widmung. Means dedication," she answers. "Ganyan title coz Schumann composed this song as a wedding gift to his wife. Nakapakinig ka na ba ng opera? This one has a voice. There's actual lyrics and a soprano singing. His wife transcribed it for piano and Franz Liszt made an arrangement for it too later on."

"Who?"

"Liszt. Composer-pianist din. But he also arranged other composers' work for piano. He's my favorite next to Rachmaninoff," she says and he doesn't have a clue what she's talking about. "The one playing right now is his arrangement. Medyo intense and passionate. Mas gusto ko rendition ni Clara, Schumann's wife."

"Bakit? Ayaw mo ng intense?"

Odd for her to say because some of her performances that he'd seen involved complex piano playing.

"No naman. But her transcription's better. Mas tender, mas romantic. It reflects their love more. Coz they do that. They tend to talk through their music. Wait, I'll let you hear na lang and you compare. It's this one."

She taps on her phone and another song comes on. Kai furrows his brows, getting lost, because it's the exact same piece.

He can't tell the two apart.

When the red light flashes on, he slowly brings the car to a momentary stop, and he turns to her again to study her face. The bright sparkle in her eyes is back as she intently listens to the music.

To be frank, she already lost him since the start. He's trying, but he can't follow what she's saying at all.

Still, he's not blind.

He doesn't need to be a genius to hear the words she doesn't say.

"I don't think you ever stopped playing. You may have stopped playing the piano with your hands," he says as the green light turns on and he shifts into drive. "But I don't think you completely left. You're still playing."

Milly blinks at him, surprised. Then the smile falls and turns wistful.

She turns away from him and looks out the window. "Just like how you can't completely erase deep old scars..." she says in a low voice. "It will always stay with you."

"Interesting that you compare it to scars."

"Just a figurative speech."

A melancholic look has taken over her face, and a prick of guilt stabs at his chest for extinguishing her brimming excitement. What a fucking asshole. He tends to do that to people despite his best intention. That's why Kylie gets upset with him easily.

Now, she's upset with him, too.

Kai doesn't get it.

He doesn't get why she's running away from something that she looks like she hasn't completely let go of yet.

In fact, she's clinging to it.

In whatever shape or form she can. She's clinging to everything except the actual thing. It seems she herself hasn't realized that yet.

That she loved it. Still does. That much is clear to him.

Milly shares a lot about herself. She doesn't hold back when he asks questions. She readily shares her thoughts and her passion each time. Like an open book.

But for all her eagerness, he can't help but feel like he knows her even less each time she does.

💝💛💙

not edited

foot notes:

composition is the original piece. transcription is more faithful to the original composition, but it's an adaptation of the piece so it can be played using another instrument. while arrangements usually take musical liberties with the original composition.

in this case, robert schumman composed the song with a voice / singer in mind. clara transcribed it for solo piano. liszt arranged it for solo piano and made it more elaborate.

Clara Schumann's transcription.

[Dapat mayroong isang GIF o video rito. I-update na ang app ngayon upang makita ito.]

Liszt's arrangement.

[Dapat mayroong isang GIF o video rito. I-update na ang app ngayon upang makita ito.]

Robert Schumann's original composition for voice and piano.

[Dapat mayroong isang GIF o video rito. I-update na ang app ngayon upang makita ito.]