The sound haunts him, cuts him. Leaves him feeling so helpless.

He thought the last time was bad enough, but nothing could have prepared him for this.

This despair.

The piano resonates in a slow, painful melody, almost like a lyricless goodbye, and he hears it break, start, and break again over and over as Milly keeps stopping every now and then, her sobs, interspersed with the intermittent notes, cutting through his resolve and ripping him open.

The music weighs like a heavy boulder on his chest as he listens outside silently.

He means to give her some space because she's crying, finally. After days of feeling almost nothing, she's finally allowing herself some room to breathe.

Kai thought he wanted this, thought it would be good for her to cry it all out and let it go. He was afraid she'd break and lose herself if she doesn't, and he thought he wanted this.

But now that he's hearing it...

Fuck if it's not tearing him to pieces.

The most horrible sound you can endure in the world is to hear the woman you love breaking and you can't do a single damn thing to prevent it.

He can't do anything for her except this.

Kai releases a troubled breath.

She needs the space, he knows.

He needs to take a step back, he knows.

But he can't take it anymore.

Getting up to his feet, he trudges into the mini library and finds her at the piano. Face now buried in her palms, body trembling with silent sobs.

His chest constricts and a lump starts in his throat at the sight of her. Kai sits beside her and takes her into his arms.

"I'm sorry," he whispers. "I'm sorry. I can't stand hearing you like this. I don't want to let you do this alone," he adds and Milly finally snaps and breaks.

Weeps.

She grabs the fabric of his shirt and lets herself go. The muffled sobs she's restraining grow louder, morphing into something more raw, more broken, more desperate.

His own eyes sting, and his chest hurts like a hand has clawed into him and wrenched his heart out.

He forces the lump back down his throat and holds her.

For hours.

He can't tell how long.

She cries and cries until no more tears are left.

When the sobs finally subside and all that's left in its wake is the silence, she takes to the piano and starts playing again. And Kai.

Kai stays by her side through it all even after the piano comes to a halt.

Milly lets out a tortured breath when the last note holds and fizzles out.

"It's my fault," she says in a very faint, very weak voice, the first time she's uttered anything since she came home to him. "It's all because of me. He's gone because of me."

"It's not your fault. Nobody wanted this to happen."

"It's true though. He looked for Mom because of me. He discovered the affair because of me. 'Cause I went to him crying, and he knew there's only one reason why I would do that," she says, countering him. "Sabi ni Sir Javier, he tried breaking them up. Because he knew it would hurt me. Mom refused and tried reasoning out. Lolo got so upset when he heard that. That's what triggered him. Like Maestra"-more tears streak down her face, and she swallows down a sob-"I was the last thing on his mind. He was thinking about me, that's why he tried to change her mind."

Her mouth twitches down. Milly clenches her fists on her lap and takes a deep breath to recompose herself.

"I wanted to be mad. I wanted to blow up. Mom kept apologizing to me. So did Dad, but I wanted none of it. I wanted to blame them for ruining my life. For taking the one person left to me. I wanted to be angry at them so damn bad." Her voice softens, turns weary. "But I'm just so tired. I can't even force myself to get angry. I'm just so tired of it all. It's like I opened my heart one time and gave the world infinite chances to fuck me up again. I shouldn't have let my guard down," she continues to say, and Kai only listens, lets her talk as much as she wants.

He keeps his hand on her back, making soothing circles to pacify her. If he could take it all away, he would.

Because how could she be so unbelievably kind and beautiful even in her anger and grief?

How could one even think to hurt this kind of person at all?

"I'm so tired. Why does it hurt so much? Why do I feel so empty?"

When she turns to him, waiting for his answer, he takes it as his cue to talk.

"Nasasaktan ka nang sobra kasi nagmamahal ka rin nang sobra," he answers, his voice coming out gently.

A flicker of hurt crosses her face. "Is that so wrong?"

"Only if you don't let us love you back," Kai answers, still in a low voice. "Mauubos ka kung puro ikaw lang."

"Ikaw din naman. Inuubos mo sarili mo sa iba. Sa 'kin."

Kai stills for a bit and takes his time to cup her cheeks with his hands.

"That's not true. 'Di ko inuubos ang sarili ko sa 'yo kasi matagal mo na 'kong kinumpleto. Pinararamdam ko lang sa 'yo kung ano ginawa mo para sa 'kin. Binabalik ko lang sa 'yo kung ano man binigay mo sa 'kin. Dahil sa 'yo, Milly, kung bakit kaya kong gawin lahat 'to ngayon. Ikaw ang nagturo sa 'kin paano magbigay nang walang hinihinging kapalit."

Milly grows quiet and searches his eyes. For what, he doesn't know. But she looks desperate, just as haunted and just as lost as he is.

She takes his hands into her own.

"Let's run away, Kai," she says in a tone that sounds both like a plea and a question. "Let's run away. Now. Let's leave it all behind. Run away with me. Please."

He doesn't know what's on her mind when she said that, but he already knows his answer.

Has known the answer even before she asked.

As she waits for him in all eagerness, Kai plants a kiss on her forehead and then on her lips.

"You don't have to ask. Sasama ko sa 'yo kahit saan. Kahit kailan."