I sat on the bed, sketching, when Astral finally came to the room. It felt like I had been sitting there for days, but it was more likely I had been alone an hour or so.

"Hey..." he said hesitantly.

"Hi," I replied, in a cold tone and without looking up from my notebook.

He sat down on the bed, hesitantly. "So..."

I didn't move beyond just continuing my sketch.

"I think we gotta talk."

"You think so?" I had no idea where my snark was coming from, but it felt good to be the snarky one for once.

"Yeah, I think so." He took a deep breath. "I didn't mean to say we're not..." He stopped and sighed. "Listen I don't even know what we are, Mars."

"Right."

"I just need to know what you consider us to be."

I shrugged. He sighed louder this time and gently took my notebook out of my hands. I finally looked up and met his gaze.

"What do you consider us?"

He put the notebook down on the bed and moved closer. "I don't know what to call it, but I'm also not as smart as you."

"You know what to call it." I looked down at my hands. "You know exactly what to call it. I don't know why you don't want to. I share you bed. I have for years. Is that all this is to you?" I looked up again, meeting his gaze.

"You know it isn't." He moved closer again, taking my face in his hands. "It's not just that, Mars."

"Then what is it."

"You know what it is," he murmured and leaned in, kissing me. For a second, I allowed myself to enjoy the kiss before I pulled back.

"Tell me."

"You're... Everything to me, Mars. You're my sun and stars."

Alright, I guessed that was enough because I kissed him back this time. "You know you're everything to me too," I whispered against his lips. "Everything, Astral."

"Yeah, I know that." He pulled back and brushed some of my hair out of my face. "I'm genuinely sorry for making you upset. It was never my intention to make you feel like you weren't important to me."

"I know." I smiled a little, just to calm him down.

"I just don't want anyone in our business. What we are to each other is between us. I don't want anyone ruining it."

"And telling people what we are will ruin it?" I arched a brow.

"No, but... What if someone uses it against us. Like they did at college. They set me up at that party, Mars. Everything could've been ruined and..." He circled his arms around my neck and brought me close. "I wouldn't be able to live with that."

"You won't have to, either." I hugged him back but much softer than him.

"I just wanna protect you and I failed." His voice cracked and I didn't pull back. I just kept holding him.

I hadn't realised how afraid he must've been while I was in that cell. He was always so... Emotionless. He didn't want to talk about feelings, nor did he show many beyond his own mellow state. Anger he was used to. That and arrogance and the occasional sweet side he had saved all for me. But beyond that, there weren't many nuances to his emotional range. He shoved it all down and hid it behind offensive jokes.

"You didn't fail, Astral. I'm grown and need to look out better for myself. I'm not your responsibility." I gently ran my hand over his hair, smoothing it down a little.

"But you look out for me when I get visions. All the time. It'd only be fair to do the same."

"You can't help having visions though. I can try and keep out of trouble. And not storm off in anger."

He didn't seem to have a reply to that. My logic was pretty solid. What had essentially led to my death was my own doing. Astral literally couldn't stave off his visions and would pass out whenever they happened. Whether it was convenient or not.

"You know I care about you a lot," I murmured. "And I've never seen you as a burden or that you owed me anything. All I'm asking for is that you don't push me away. Not when we're alone and not in front of others. They can judge if they want to. It won't matter to us, right?"

He sniffled and pulled back, drying his nose in his sleeve. "Right," he said with a gruff voice and nodded.

"Besides, I don't think Zeke is judging us."

"Yeah, she is. But only for not actually sleeping at night," he said and snorted. "We really gotta sleep at night if she's to be my apprentice."

I laughed and nodded. "Alright, no more late nights. But it's gonna be hard, you know. When I look at you..." I ran my hands down to his chest and swallowed something.

He smiled a very satisfied smile. "Yeah?"

"Sun and stars, Astral, just keeping my composure now is hard." I moved into his lap and took his face in my hands.

"You're actually serious right now?" He looked up at me with wide eyes.

I nodded and slowly bent down, kissing him. "You are unbelievably handsome."

He put his shaking hands on my hips. "I'd love to do all the things you want me to do, Mars, but... I'm feeling a vision coming. Don't wanna shake out on you."

"That's alright," I said and laid down on the bed, motioning him to lay with me. He didn't hesitate and curled up to me, his arm around me. "I just wanted you to know how much I always think of you. And your body."

He tipped his head up and smiled. "You should tell me more often. So, I feel pretty."

"I don't think you need me to tell you about that in order to feel pretty."

"No, but it does make me feel oh so good to hear you talk like this. And I thought you were so pure." He chuckled and moved up, kissing my cheek. "You're a dirty one, aren't you?"

"You're a dork."

"You like me though," he breathed against my cheek, heating up my skin.

I did more than like him and I wanted to say it. And despite having settled our weird argument which really wasn't an argument, I didn't wanna spring the word 'love' on him now. I had finally gotten him to say I was important to him and not just a friend.

It was enough for one day.

I woke up to him shaking besides me. Purely by instincts I pulled him up against my chest and shoved my arm in his mouth, barely awake. He was groaning, clearly in pain. I hated how I couldn't do anything for him. I hated how much pain he had to go through just to get some dumb vision that we couldn't decipher.

It sounded like the burning trees vision again. He'd always groan a lot more during that and be exhausted once it was over. And his mouth would taste horrific. Once he stopped seizing, I needed to brew some strong tea for him.

He finally relaxed, his eyes turning back to normal. He looked up at me, looking endlessly frightened.

"The burning trees again?" I asked softly.

He nodded.

"Do you want tea?"

He nodded again. I gently kissed his forehead and propped him against the pillows, while I fetched some water for the tea. It didn't take me long, luckily the baker had just showed up for the morning shift to have bread ready for breakfast and let me have some of his boiling water in a brass pot.

I returned and Astral was sitting on the bed, the covers clutched to his chest.

"I've got the water." I showed him the brass pot.

He only nodded and tried to smile a little. I brewed the ginger tea and poured some honey in it so he wouldn't dislike the taste as much. He took the mug from me with shaking hands and brought up to his mouth, first blowing on it and then took a sip.

"Thank you," he said with a meek voice.

"Never thank me for this, Astral. It's no bother." I sat down beside him and kissed his cheek. "And look, you didn't break the skin this time." I showed him my arm. It had small splotches all over it from the years of me shoving it in his mouth.

"At least there's something good," he murmured tiredly and leaned against me. "I hate this. It doesn't feel like a gift at all."

"Some day it will, I'm sure. When we figure out what the burning trees means."

"I don't think so. Then there'll be something else. And after that, something new. It'll be a never-ending circle until I finally die. Makes me almost look forward to that."

I swallowed something, feeling a little awkward.

"I didn't mean that. You know that," he muttered and looked up at me. "Don't listen to me right now. I'm just ranting."

"I know," I said softly and kissed his hair. "Now drink your tea. We said we'd sleep through the night and we will."

"I am tired." He took another sip. "But this isn't over. Mars, there's more coming."

I hated when he got several visions a day. Sometimes he'd be out all day, constantly switching between being aware and awake, and then go straight back into a vision.

"Do you want some valerian tea? It might help you sleep a little until the next one hits."

"No, it's fine. It'll hit when it hits, whether I'm asleep or not. And I'm honestly exhausted so I don't think I need anything to help me sleep. Just this not-so-gross-as-usual ginger tea."

I chuckled. "I put honey in it this time."

"Makes it better. I hate ginger."

"It helps you though. Makes you feel better."

"Yeah, but don't go thinking I'm enjoying it." He finished his tea and put the mug on the small table next to the bed.

"I won't," I murmured softly.

"I thought we had agreed on you two morons sleeping at night," Zeke said, looking endlessly disappointed.

"Astral had visions all night," I muttered tiredly. Not sleeping was taking its toll on me.

"Oh. I'm sorry. I assumed you were up to shenanigans again."

"When aren't we?" Astral said and smiled, his eyes almost closing. "We're always up to something," he said as he put his head down on the table.

"Maybe we should stay another day. To rest up properly. We haven't found a ride anyways, so while we're here, we should rest." She patted Astral's head, and he lifted it, putting his hands under his chin.

"I think that sounds like a marvellous plan," he said with his eyes closed. "I'm not done with having visions either, so we need to be in a place where I won't hurt myself when it starts."

"We'll stay in the room," I said.

"I'll stay with you too. Then Mars can get a break from watching you as well. You both need rest. It looks like something ate you and spat you back out."

"I'm not leaving Astral," I interjected and frowned. "I need to be there."

"Right but you can't if you fall asleep or running on fumes, Mars." Her voice was soft. And I knew she was right, but I still didn't want to leave Astral. He needed me.

"Come on, both of you. Back to bed. I'll sit and read and make sure Astral is alright, in case you don't wake up, Mars."

I nodded. I could deal with that.