Asma'u softly knocked on Fareeda's door for the first time in her life, Fareeda wondered who it was. Because all the other people had never knocked, they either barged inside or nearly knock the door down. And when it was Nana, the first thing she heard before the girl make an appearance in her room was, 'Ya Fareeda, are you inside?' and without waiting for an answer, she would just barge in.

"Who is it?" Fareeda asked as some part of her heart told her maybe they had a guest? But which among the guest they had could ever ask for her and even proceed to come to where she was? She doubted if it was a guest.

"It's me, Ya Fareeda, can I come in?" She nearly gasped outwardly, Asma'u?

She moved to the door, unlocked it and smiled when Asma'u's face showed up, "I've been waiting for you since. Come in and tell me how it went," she said and ushered her in. They sat on the resting sofa and Asma'u heaved a sigh, staring at the night sky through the window.

"He rejected me. And his exact words were even if you two aren't getting married, he can't have that kind of relationship with me. That I'm still young, I should focus on my studies and I'll find someone that'll love me." She sighed and palmed her forehead, "You know all those cool stuff men tell you when they're about to reject you, right? That's all he said trying not to make me feel bad."

Fareeda cursed him under her breath, what was this man trying to pull for the sake of the almighty? She knew she had to think of a way to not make this happen, but how could she? By Allah, she hated to even think about this, and now just the smallest thin of hope she had had been broken by him. She softly hugged Asma'u that was beginning to cry and realized she had never hugged her before in their entire lives.

"I'm so sorry, Asma'u, okay? You shouldn't cry because of that man." At first, she was just going to use her to revoke Alhaji's promise on them, but now she realized that if this was a joke to her, it wasn't a joke to Asma'u at all cost.

"But I love him, Ya Fareeda. I know, as a lady since he outwardly rejected me like a lady I shouldn't keep on holding to him but by Allah, it feels so hard to do that. My heart is paining me so much." There was a time when she wished one of her family members would feel even a pint of the pain she felt every passing day in her life, but seeing the way Asma'u was crying bitterly, Fareeda kept revoking her prayers and curses on them. So this was how bad it felt to see someone in tears? Someone in pain? Was it because she had never had someone by herself in her life that she didn't know all these or what?

"Asma'u..." she began but was cut off when the door got banged open and a furious Ummah stood in front of them, with Dahlia by her side. Did Fareeda once think of the reason Ummah left Dahlia at home this evening? Whatever the reason was, she would know it now.

"What do you think you're trying to do, Fareeda? How dare you matchmake my daughter with a gateman? Is it because you're getting married to him and you didn't want that? That's why you're resorting to making my daughter take your stead?" She furiously asked and turned to Asma'u that was still crying beside Fareeda on the sofa, "And you, you have no self-respect or love, right? How can you, a daughter of a billionaire confess your love to a man? He can be everyone, and it will still be wrong. But to a gateman? Asma'u I'll make sure your tears have turned to blood today!" She roughly pulled her up and Fareeda held her wrist before she stood up.

"Have you thought of the possibility that this lovely daughter of yours loves the gateman? I'm not trying to push her to him, yes, I know I don't love him. No, I can't even love him my whole life, and I can't get married to the gateman because I have the man I love..."

"That stupid guy you call a boyfriend? We all know that he's never going to marry you, because how could he? When he has gotten all a husband gets from his wife from you for free? Moreover, the only god knew the number of babies you've aborted for him. Aren't you ashamed to call him the man you love? Listen, you might've not known this, but the man that loves you will never try to take advantage of you without making sure he get married to you. That's not loving, he's just taking advantage of what you foolishly call as one." She glared hard at her, appreciating the way her words had struck Fareeda and she seemed to be taken aback. She shrugged off her hand from Asma'u's wrist and pulled her out of the room, making sure a hard knock landed on the crown of her head before they left the room.

Fareeda slumped back on the sofa and for the first time in her life, she thought about the kind of relationship she had with Adam. She had always known that it wasn't right, but the actual truth and never been painted to her like Ummah's words did today. What they were doing alone was enough to tell her that he didn't love her, not to talk about the way he treated her as though she wasn't important in his life. Maybe she wasn't, after all.

She picked her to call without thinking twice and dialled his number, she had nearly given up about him picking up when he did. "Hello? What is it now?" Was this the right way to talk to the woman that loved you and you also claimed to love? She softly shook her head and anger began to rise in her throat.

"I called to talk to you, Adam, and don't you dare end the call on me or talk whatever you want to say to me, you just have to listen and after that, you can do whatever you feel like doing, I don't care. But before I start, are you together with her? Because I need some privacy now." She gulped down a huge lump in her throat. She could remember that night clearly as though it happened just now. They left to the club with Adam after she had fought with Mujaheed to open the gate for her, if she had known what the night had in store for her, she would have gone back to her room and slept soundly.

"What are you talking about? I thought you apologize for doing what you did that day?" He asked in a voice that was laced with anger and Fareeda chuckled, a humourless chuckle that would portray what she was feeling in her heart.

"Have you ever realized that you've never apologized to me even when you're wrong, Adam? And you're saying now I shouldn't bring up the issue of your girlfriend that we accidentally met at the club and we got into a fight with her? Are you asking me to shut up and like a weakling, apologize to you about your girlfriend that threw me down the stairs and had me lost my baby? What if it was my life not that of my child?! Would you have still demanded an apology from me?!" She clamoured at the pitch of her voice while tears immediately washed down her cheeks. Now that she spoke about it, she felt disgusted with herself. If someone will hear about this, no one could believe that she could stoop this low because of a man.

"Fareeda...what are..." she cut him off before he continued, she needed to get everything out of her chest. And today was the day she was finally going to pour everything she had ever locked in her heart without leaving anything in it.

"Now, you listen to me. I don't care what you'll think about me or our relationship after this but you have to listen to me and I don't want you to interrupt me until I'm done. You've never loved me, Adam, that's the fact I've come to terms with a very long time. You just love my money and my body, and I dare you to argue with me on this. I'm not as stupid as you think, Adam, I'm not patient either, but I have to be both with you because I love you, but I'm afraid that wouldn't be enough to sustain our relationship. I might be in love with you, but I can't remember seeing someone die because they have parted way with the ones they love." Staring at her reflection was making herself pity herself and she slowly took off her glasses, enjoying the darkness that she filled her orbs if not for the blurry lights of her room that were still on.

"You've never respected me, my opinion has never mattered to you. My choice has always been wrong, what I say or do doesn't count because you're so sure I'll run back to you even if I claim to have been furious with you. How many times have I aborted a child for you? This is the third time in our three years of relationship and all the mistakes were done because you were either drunk to use protection or you don't want to. You feel like you own my body, you've humiliated me times without number in public and private, and also, upon all these things, you've never apologized to me. But instead, I've always been the one to apologize to you, why? Because I'm the one in love with you."

"You told me that me suggesting we get married was ridiculous because I of all people should know that you aren't ready to settle down anytime soon. And be it you are, I'm sure you wouldn't love to settle down with someone like me, huh? The lady you've used over and over again. I can't do this anymore, it hasn't been easy but I think the sooner I accept this the better it will be for both of us." She ended the call without thinking twice, her whole body reverberated with her tears as she placed her head on her brought up knees.

She knew if she had a friend, she must ask her what she had seen in Adam to be this in love with him. But she couldn't point a finger at what she was I love with, in him. Since the first day, she saw him in a restaurant four years ago and he walked up to her and asked for her number, she fell in love with him. She was back home after she was done with her bachelor's degree and they became good friends with him. After she left back to New York for her masters, they officially started dating and she couldn't think of anyone but him. She always paid for his tickets to visit her in New York and whenever she had the chance, she always came back to Taraba for him until she was done with her masters and finally came back home for good.

Realizing that if she stayed in her room, the shortage of air will likely suffocate her to death, she stood up while clearing her tears even though more gushed down her cheeks. She didn't need her glass, because she was going to wet it with her tears and she wouldn't see either. She would just go to the hut without it and thought for a few minutes before she felt better in her heart and she would be back. She had always gone there without her glasses, especially at night, she could as well do that now.

She found her way out of her room and closed the door behind her. There were times when if she went to the club with Adam, after she was back she would find her room open, which she was certain was Ummah's doing or Alhaji checking her belongings to see if she had something bad with her. She had already changed the locks, and she made sure none of them got a hold of her keys. She locked the door and with her hands on the railings, found her way down the stairs until she was in the downstairs living room. Doing this had taken her mind off Adam and his thoughts because all she thought about now was how not to fall and how to successfully go to the hut without being hurt.

She was opening the door to get out when she heard Alhaji's voice, "Who's there?" He asked and walked to where she was. Fareeda quickly used her palms and cleared the remaining strands of her tears. She might not see his face, but she knew he would see hers and would love it if he saw tears on her face.

She waited until she saw his blurry vision standing before her, "It's me, I'm going to the hut." She informed without waiting for him to ask because she was sure he would ask.

"This late at night? And without your glass? Tell me where exactly you're going to, Fareeda." Yes, he had never believed her, she was used to that. But couldn't he see that she wasn't in the mood to fight with him? Why won't he leave her alone as he had always done?

"I want to clear my head, I don't need my glass because I've always gone there without it and came back safely. It's about me, not anyone else and I'm not going anywhere. If I was, I wouldn't have hesitated to tell you, but you can follow me if you think I'm lying." She walked out of the house without waiting for his response because she knew he would just make her even angrier and when she started crying again, it would be hard for her to stop.

Alhaji stared at her retreating and shook his head, he brought his phone out of his breast pocket and decided to call Mujaheed. As she said, he didn't believe her, but if he followed her now he might end up breaking one of her bones because he was sure she would have to anger him. "Hello, Mujaheed?" He said softly after he picked up.

"Alhaji is there a problem?" Mujaheed asked with an alarmed tone and Alhaji smiled.

"Nothing, but Fareeda is out of the house now, she told me that she's going to the hut but I don't believe her. Can you please check if she's there?"

Mujaheed was silent for a while before he nodded his head as though Alhaji was standing in front of him, "I will, Alhaji. Good night." Mujaheed stood up and turned to the police officers that had duty here today, "Alhaji assigned me to do something, I'll leave." They all answered him before he left and directly walked to where the resting huts were, a few feet away from the garden. One would think it was a mini-park if they came there in the evening, it had an amazing view together with the swimming pool to complete the look. Even though he could count the number of times he was there, he could always tell how beautiful the place was.

He heard her crying tone before he reached the huts, she was crying silently with a painful timbre. From where he stood, he could see her body shaking with her cries and the way she kept palming her face and if it surged so hard at her heart, she would remove her palms and cry even more. He had always thought that something was off with her but seeing how she was crying today, Mujaheed had confirmed his guess even though he wasn't sure about what was wrong with her.

"It's so painful!" She whimpered and fondled the surface enclosing her heart. Once in a while when she had buckled up too much in her heart, she came down here at night and cry to her heart's satisfaction. Because no one would ever hear her from the main building of the house, and even if someone did, no one would ever come here to console her. Because none of them cared about.

Everything came back clogging her heart, the painful memories, the moments she wished she could forever erase in her heart, everything. And Fareeda was thankful that she had left her glasses because while having a reminiscent of her life, she hated everything and everyone, herself included. She kept crying so hard, her breathing coming out in hiccups as she fought so hard from being suffocated by her tears.

Mujaheed found himself slowly walking to the hut and she didn't know he was there until he sat down opposite her, looking at the way she hugged her knees to her rest, rested her head on the knees and cried so hard. She would sit up for a bit to liberate her choked break and would softly fondle her heart.

He softly moved and she stopped right in track, "Who's there?" She asked, and when she turned her head toward his direction, he noticed she didn't have glass on her face.

"It's me, Fareeda." He had never felt bad seeing someone cry as much as he did today.

"What are you doing here? I..." she let her words trailed off as she quickly began to clear off her tears.

"You don't have to worry about me, cry as much as you want, I won't say anything. You must have had a lot of things buckled up in your mind." She had, he was right, tons and tons of memories she would love to have erased from her heart.

"You can't stare at me while I'm crying. Will you please just leave?" she croaked, more tears getting accumulated in her eyes. She might not see him, but she knew he was looking at her.

He leaned forward and turned off the light in the hut, "I've turned the light off, I won't stare at you. And also, it's more painful when you cry alone, so I'll stay with you." How nice must it have felt for to have someone to lean onto his shoulder and cry? She had never had a feeling of how it must've felt. And right now that he said this, even though she wasn't going to lean her head on his shoulder, she felt somewhat relieved and more tears made their ways to her cheeks.