Rays of the early morning sunlight peeked through the thin curtain layers, directly landing on Ashwin's face to wake him up from the deep slumber.

The heat of the sun started burning against his skin. Unable to ignore it anymore, his eyes peeled open with much difficulty as he slowly sat up.

Yawning quietly, he stretched his arms as part of his morning routine only for a sharp pain to flow through his left arm. An involuntary painful whine escaped his lips before he took a close look at the neatly bandaged area.

One by one, the incidents of last night rushed into his mind. Receiving a sudden information about a terrorist nearby, sneaking out in the middle of the night, getting a call from Sivaangi, coming back home to Sivaangi, hiding behind the curtains with Sivaangi, being brought to the room by Sivaangi, being taken care of by Sivaangi.

Sivaangi. Sivaangi. Sivaangi.

Ashwin sighed when he realised how his memories were filled with almost nothing except that bite-sized woman.

Unknowingly the corner of his lips lifted at the memory of linking fingers with her, who's name shall not be spoken.

How soft hand was, how perfectly it fit inside his own hand. The warmth the hand radiated and the passion that ran through his blood at the mere touch.

So small! So cute!

Ashwin would have laughed uncontrollably if someone had told him just a week ago that he would be cooing over a damn hand the first thing in the morning after having an encounter with a terrorist just the night before.

But here he was, sitting wide awake as he secretly wished he had compared hand sizes with her.

Shaking his head at his own absurdity, he pushed himself up and headed to the bathroom to carry out the necessities.

Then he automatically found his legs walking out of the room, heading towards the terrace.

She'll be there.

He heard an inner voice that was sweet enough to enlighten him with the reason behind his visit to the terrace. And it was not debatable.

The terrace has become their meeting spot. They have never called one another or even texted. They never directly knocked on each other's room doors either.

One of them will wait at the terrace until the other one showed up. It was an unarticulated agreement. An understanding they both came to without even realising at all.

Say no more, Sivaangi stood by the railing with an untouched cup of something that Ashwin knew wasn't hot anymore because that's how long she's been waiting.

"Hey hospital!"

His loud voice caused her to wince as she turned towards his direction with her iconic alarmed rabbit face.

"Hospital?" She scrunched her nose.

"Nee medicine thana padikira? Adhu thana un profession?" He shrugged.

(You study medicine right? That's your profession right?)

Her eyebrows furrowed. "Adhuku?"

(So?)

"Nee mattum varthai ku varthai military nu kupdura." Ashwin reasoned.

(Well you address me as military so what's wrong if I address you by your profession?)

She tilted his head and tried to argue. "Adhu pasama-" she stopped midway but she didn't need to complete the sentence for him to understand.

(That comes from a place of affection-)

Clearing her throat, she wore an intimidating stare and questioned. "Nethu yenna nadandhuchu?"

(What happened yesterday?)

Ashwin brought his finger to his chin and thought hard for a moment. "Yellarum thaan nadanthaanga. Naa nadanthen. Nee nadantha. Nadakama urulava seivanga?"

(Lame joke - hard to translate 🚶🚶‍♀️)

Sivaangi just blinked in utter horror as the poor excuse of a joke slowly sinked in. Fuming, she aimed her clenched fist towards his wounded arm.

"Hey!! Valikidhu ma!" He protectively shielded his arm from her punch, eyes widening at her sudden attack.

(It hurts!)

"Shalini sathiyama pavam, indha madhri kevalamana jokes lam vazhkai full ah ketutu yepdi uyir vazha poralo." Sivaangi sneered.

(I seriously pity Shalini, she'll have to listen to these lame jokes of yours for the rest of her life.)

Ashwin frowned, not at the insult but at the mention of a particular name.

He internally sighed. She made him forget about the reality, yet she herself keeps reminding him the reality too.

Sivaangi was tormenting the soul caught underneath the concrete rock and it was only a matter of time before he completely shatters apart.

"Olunga sollunga, nethu yenga poninga?" She asked again, phrasing it in a better way that prevents him from cracking another silly joke out of it.

(You better tell me, where did you go yesterday?)

"Confidential."

She studied his poker face with a critical squint, tempted to really gift him with a punch this time.

Ashwin shrugged with an insolent smile. "Madam, neenga doctor. Unga vela treatment panradhu mattum thaan. Investigation lam naa paathukuren."

(You're a doctor. Your job is to treat people who are hurt. Investigation is my job, I'll take care of that.)

"Doctor treatment panrathuku munnadi details therinjikanum. It's a protocol." She smartly rebutted.

(As a doctor I need to know the background information before treating an injury.)

But he outsmarted her. "Exactly. By protocol before treatment you should have asked. Treatment mudinji, nalla thoongi yendhuruchu vandhu kekura. By right un license ah revoke pannanum."

(You're asking after you treated me, you had a good night sleep and only now you're bothering to even ask. By right your license should be revoked.)

She gasped before retaliating. "Protocol meeruna license revoke pannanumna, unga military license ah thaan modhalla revoke pannanum!"

(If my license should be revoked for not sticking to the protocol then your military license should be revoked too!)

Ashwin wanted to first correct her that there's no such thing as military license but he decided against it.

"Yenna solra?"

(What are you talking about?)

She smugly responded. "Oru military officer, adhuvum high ranking officer, gun ah tholacha yenna punishment?"

(What's the punishment when a high ranked military officer loses his gun?)

Ashwin frowned at that question before his eyes widened, understanding the implication behind her innocent question.

Retrieving back some bits and pieces of his memories, he reached into his pocket for the gun that he had certainly tucked in last night after the sudden mission. With eyes full of terror, he looked at her when he discovered his empty pockets.

"Gun yenga?"

(Where's my gun?)

She smiled sweetly, testing his patience. "Naa doctor, yen kitta stethoscope yenga injection yenganu kekalam. Gun pathi yenaku yenna theriyum? That's your department Mr Military."

(What gun? I'm a doctor, ask me about stethoscope or injections. What would I know about guns?)

Ashwin exhaled out. "Look this is not a joke."

She innocently blinked. "Am I laughing?"

He shut his eyes in defeat. He can't win this woman when it comes to talking. Technically no one can.

"Nee oru normal citizen, un kitta gun irukunu therinja you can actually get arrested." He tried to warn even though he knows it won't exactly work on her.

(You're just a common citizen, you can technically get arrested for having a gun.)

She rolled her eyes before sticking out both her hands towards him, challenging him to handcuff her. "Arrest pannunga. Pannikonga!"

(Well arrest me! Do it!)

The memory of the first night he came to Thodupuzha flew to his mind. The angry confrontation he had with her in the dark by the staircase after finding out about her little lie.

If only, if only it wasn't a lie.

Ashwin took in a shaky breath, trying to ignore the uncomfortable sensation in his heart as the moment he first laid his eyes on her flashed in his mind.

Like a wildflower she stood out among all the girls, being the first one to catch his eye. To make matters worse, she voluntarily approached him and even fed him blueberry ice cream when he was silently suffering in hunger.

The curiosity he felt, the excitement his heart pumped out along with blood and oxygen. The banters that naturally sparked between them, making him feel immediately comfortable in her presence. The way he was enchanted by those eyes, those damn eyes.

Why did all these have to happen if you were not my destiny?

Ashwin almost asked that out loud to the oblivious woman who was still standing in front of him with eyes glinting in mischief. The same mischief that she had the other night too.

She was still the same but he wasn't.

Something had managed to creep into his heart and have seized it forever.

The Ashwin from a week ago would have given her a tight slap and demanded for the gun.  No, actually that Ashwin wouldn't have been careless enough to leave the gun within her reach in the first place.

But this Ashwin right here chose to forget about the gun, for the second time. He just stared brazenly into her eyes and unmindfully uttered,"unaku onnu theriyuma?"

(You know something?)

Her eyes narrowed into slits, she couldn't comprehend the sudden change in his demeanour.

All the teasing expressions from earlier had completely vanished. By the seriousness his face held, no one could mistake him for anything. He truly looked like a military officer who would casually shoot down people if the situation necessitates.

Is he really gonna arrest me?

Sivaangi shook her head to herself, offering herself the confidence that he wouldn't stoop down to that level. Curiously she looked up at him and waited for him to speak.

"Yenaku saagurathuku yennikum bayam irundhadhu kedayadhu. Aana nethu naa bayandhen."

(I've never feared death. But yesterday I did.)

She blinked before quietly asking. "Yen?"

(Why?)

"Therila. Andha vettu padamodhu, oru nimisham moochu vida kashtama irundhuchu, almost balance lose panniten, kannulam oru madhri kalangi," he breathed out, fixing his eyes strongly on her. "All I could think about was coming back home."

(I don't know. When the knife dug into my skin, for a moment I could barely breathe, almost lost my balance, my eyes even teared up. All I could think about was coming back home.)

To you.

Like a passionate kiss, those words knocked the air out of her as she found her legs taking uncertain steps away from him and turned away towards the door. He remained rooted to the ground, staring into the empty space after freeing just a tiny portion of his overflowing thoughts.

Something told Sivaangi that it's not a good idea to remain there anymore. She might say or do something that will cause an irreversible damage.

What she didn't know was that, the damage was long done.

She was unable to take the last step that will lead her out of the metal doors of the terrace. With her back facing him, she found herself admitting to him in a reasonable decibel.

"Naa ratham pathu yennikum bayandhadhu kedayadhu. Aana nethu naa bayandhen."

(I've never feared blood. But yesterday I did.)

...

Later that night, Sivaangi sneaked out of her room and made sure her steps were gentle enough to not wake Shalini up. She headed towards the most luxurious room in the entire house that was assigned for the groom.

She frowned when she could hear loud groans as she neared the door.

Quickly she barged in to find a teary eyed Ashwin sitting on the bed while Sakthi was struggling with his brother's injured arm and an undone bandage.

"Dei moodhevi, olunga paathu pannuda! Valikidhu!" He yelled in pain.

(Idiot, can you do it properly?! It hurts so bad!)

Sakthi flinched before glaring. "Konjam neram amaidhiya iru da anna. Try panren la. Venumna sollu, amma va kutitu varen. Avanga yenna vida super ah pannuvanga."

(Can you stay quiet for a minute? I'm trying here. If you want I can call mom for you and she'll do it much better than me.)

Ashwin glared at the mention of his mother, unable to attack when his brother is threatening him to give him away to the devilish woman who's quite capable of anything.

"Nethu pota bandage yepdi ipdi aanuchu?" Sakthi wondered out loud.

(How can this happen to a bandage that was put on just yesterday?)

"Potu vittavangaloda skills apdi." Ashwin murmured.

(Really shows the skills of the person who wrapped it.)

"Hello! Naa correct ah thaan poten!" Sivaangi glowered, announcing her presence to the brothers who had been completely lost in their own struggle.

(Hello! I did it the right way!)

Ashwin avoided her eyes and mumbled in pure sarcasm. "Nalla potrukanu solren, almost a whole day thaangiduchuma."

(I mean you really did great, considering how it lasted for almost a whole day.)

Marching to his bed, she examined the bandage and scoffed loudly. "Thanni patta yepdi thaangum? Thaanila padama vechikanum."

(How will it last if it got wet? You should have kept it away from water.)

"Nee yen kitta sonniya? You didn't give me any instructions Miss Hospital!"

(Did you tell me this even?)

"Hey arivuketta military! It's common sense!"

(Hey dumbass military! It's common sense!)

"Well maybe for a medical student, but not for a normal person!"

"Just admit that you were being stupid. Yevlo ego ungaluku-"

(How egoistic you are-)

"Excuse me inga yenna nadakuthu?" Sakthi looked between the duo, bewildered by their quarrel.

(Excuse me what's going on here?)

He had no idea they've developed such a rapport within just a couple of days. To be more specific he didn't know his brother was capable of sharing such a rapport with anyone even.

Avoiding his judgmental gaze, Sivaangi snatched the new bandage from Sakthi's hand. "Naa panren, give it to me."

(I'll do it)

Ashwin signalled him towards the direction of the door. "Ava pathupa, nee kelambu."

(She'll handle, you can leave.)

Sakthi nodded his head with an insincere smile. "Nandri ketta ulagamnu summava sonnanga."

(A wise man once said the world is full of ungrateful people.)

He silently left, granting the duo the privacy they were secretly wishing for. Sivaangi leaned down and carefully applied the ointment across the torn skin as he winced in pain.

Whenever in each other's presence, there was never a room for silence. One would always be pulling the other's leg just to get a reaction. But on rare moments, they fall into a meaningful silence which is sometimes even more powerful than any words.

And this was a rare moment. With a grave expression, Sivaangi focused on his wound knowing very well how his eyes were embedded on her.

She successfully managed to not let his intense gaze have an effect on her. Not an outward effect at least that would boost up his man pride.

Tenderly, she wrapped the fresh bandage around his arm and finally looked at him with a sharp glare. "Thannila padama vechikonga."

(Make sure to keep it away from getting wet.)

Pressing his lips, he raised his functioning hand to make a vow. "Padadhu madam."

(Will do Madam.)

She hummed in satisfaction. She straightened her back and was about move away when she accidentally stepped on a wrapper on the ground and lost her balance.

By right she would have fell on the bed and crashed into his body but that never happened as his strong arm wrapped around her waist just before she could come into contact with his chest.

His single grip held her entire body as she stared with her eyes wide open, lips fallen apart for a gasp to conveniently escape in shock.

This close proximity was very much similar to their little hiding behind the curtains last night but Ashwin here was wide awake, completely mindful and sober as he took pleasure each second, wishing he had the power to freeze time.

He locked eyes with her, so many emotions being reflected from his gaze all at once. There was some sort of refreshing candour that she detected in his eyes that made her heartbeat rise in an abnormal way.

Sivaangi never knew someone's gaze could overwhelm her until she noticed Ashwin's eyes - the window to his soul.

Every time he looks at her, she feels like his soul just reaches out to graze her insides.

Ashwin could smell her fruity hairspray that lingered all over the little space between their faces.

What bloody fruit is this?

His mind was going crazy over the smell, he gathered every bit of self control in him to not simply lean in and bury his nose in the locks of her deep brown hair.

The desire to overstep the boundaries clouded their minds. Just a little step over the boundary, a tiny step, is that really sinful?

Yet why does this feel so right?

If this is a sin, Ashwin truly didn't mind being a sinner. Because this was a sin that was worth committing regardless of the punishments or consequences that will follow up later on.

If he really belongs in hell for wanting an angel, he will wholeheartedly embrace the burning fire.

But that wasn't the case for Sivaangi. Shivering in his touch, she took a shaky breath before breaking out of his grip.

Awkwardly she got back up on her feet and adjusted her hair. He sighed softly before muttering,"thanks."

"Neraya sollitinga nethu."

(You said that a lot already yesterday.)

"Nethu sonna thanks vera, inniki solradhu vera."

(The thanks from yesterday is different from the thanks today.)

She was about to question what's the difference but immediately foresee the potential dangerous answers that he could throw towards her, so she remained quiet.

"And sorry."

"Idhu yedhuku?"

(And what's this for?)

"Neraya olarirupen."

(Pretty sure I blabbered a lot.)

She gave him an assuring smile. "It's okay naa yedhuvum serious ah yeduthukala."

(That's fine I didn't take anything seriously.)

Mumbling a good night she reached for the doorknob but paused when he said out clearly with his whole chest, "olarunalum, yedhuvum poi kedayadhu."

(I blabbered yes, but none of it was a lie.)

Without another word, she twisted the doorknob and made a quick exit before she ended up saying anything she would regret later.

Just when she closed the door behind her, she found a tall figure standing right in front of her.

"Anna-"

Rakshan didn't give his half sister a chance to explain herself as he quietly dragged her away to a quiet corner, away from any possible intruders.

Now under a better lighting, Sivaangi could clearly see how disappointed he was. In fact she never knew her Rakshan anna was capable of looking like this at all.

"Sivaangi unna yen appa, amma, thatha, paati and pala family members ku pudikathunu theriyuma?"

(Do you know why our family hates you?)

She found herself speechless at the question that came out of nowhere.

He answered his own question. "Because of your mother. Your mother was greedy."

"Anna-" her voice started shaking.

This not a brand new information to her. She's learnt this long ago thanks to some family members who were kind enough to enlighten her on why they despised her so much.

But Rakshan was never one of them.

He was the one single person on earth who treated her like a human. He always stood up for her and protected her in every possible way. He stood against his own mother for her sake multiple times. He was a strong pillar that she could rely on. He was a support system that made her feel safe. He has been nothing but a doting brother.

Not once did he look at her like she was different. Not once did he treat her like an abomination even though that's the label she's carried ever since she was born.

But that night, the emotion she saw in his eyes was identical to the one she always sees in her father.

Disgust.

She found herself shaking at the fact that the person standing in front her wasn't her Rakshan anna anymore. He was the son of Janani. He was the brother of Shalini.

"Un amma panna thappuku yen unna hate panranga theriyuma? Because they think you are no different from her."

(Do you know why they hate you for the mistake your mother did? Because they think you are no different from her.)

"Anna please." At this point, Sivaangi was just pleading with her eyes for him to stop.

If this was Janani or her father or even Shalini, she would not give a damn.

But this was Rakshan, her only family. The only man who has shown her something close to love.

How could she bear hearing him say the words that were her worst nightmares for years?

"Are you going to prove them right? Oru thappana pombalaiku porandhava thappa thaan irupanu prove panna poriya Sivaangi?"

(You gonna prove them right? That because you're born to an immoral woman, you are immoral also?)

And she finally broke. Tears started rolling down her cheeks, every word of his pierced into her like an arrow.

"Unnala indha kalyanathula problem vara kudathu."

(There's shouldn't be any problem in this marriage because of you.)

And Rakshan sticked his palm towards her, demanding for a promise. Even seeing her break  down and cry wasn't convincing him. He couldn't trust her.

After all he's noticed the way Ashwin looks at her.

He needed to hear from her directly to believe that she won't cause trouble.

Swallowing harshly, she dried her eyes that just couldn't stop leaking and placed her palm on his. "Varadhu."

(There won't be.)

"Sivaangi stay away from him. Puridha?"

(Stay away from him. Understand?)

She silently nodded. "Poi thoongu." With that, Rakshan walked away.

(Go and get some sleep.)

Her heart felt heavy and she was about to tear up all over again. The internal pain just spread through every part of her body, making her feel weak.

Only people you love have the power to rip you apart. And Rakshan just did.

Her eyes momentarily landed on the door that she came out from just a few minutes ago. She pressed her lips together, her body trembling while her legs threatened to give way.

Why does it feel like she was just robbed of her beautiful moon, leaving her completely alone in the dark, terrifying sky?

Reality came in the form of Rakshan and woke her up from the beautiful loop of dreams she was trapped in.

Ashwin Kumar was never hers. She lost something she never had.

~~~•••~~~

How was it?

Thoughts on Rakshan?🤔 Is his anger justified?

And I just want to say, thank you so much for the immense love you all have been showering my books with! There have been many days and nights where I just waited for at least one vote or one comment. Now my notifs just blow up and you guys have no idea how I feel when I see a tweet or a comment that appreciates my books. Thank you and love each and everyone of you so much ❤️ It feels beyond amazing when something that makes you happy is making many others happy too🤗

-Irene💜