Namaste
Chapter 26

Tanushree sat by the window, her knees drawn to her chest as her eyes wandered outside. The laughter of schoolchildren echoed through the street, and nearby, a group of mothers chatted animatedly. Their voices carried easily through the crisp morning air, reaching her ears. 

"These days, having a kid is so expensive," one woman said, shaking her head. She adjusted the dupatta draped over her shoulder. "My daughter is preparing for competitive exams next year. I had to mortgage my jewelry just to pay for her coaching fees—two lakh rupees! And that’s just the beginning." 

Another mother nodded in agreement, her expression weary. "Don’t even get me started. My son is in kindergarten, and his monthly school fees are six thousand. Three thousand more for the school bus. And the books this year—another six thousand. It’s like having a child is a never-ending expense!" 

The woman with a newborn in her arms shifted the baby gently and chimed in. "Tell me about it! I went shopping for laado's clothes and diapers yesterday—just those two things alone burned a hole in my pocket. And the formula milk? My husband’s salary feels like it disappears just buying her formula every month. Almost one-fourth of it, gone." 

Her voice dropped to a somber tone. "When she was born, I had to have a C-section. The hospital charged us two lakh rupees. Two lakh! Can you believe it? Having a baby these days is like signing up for a lifetime of debt." 

The first woman sighed. "That’s true. My neighbor recently had her second child, and now they’re planning to sell their bike to make ends meet. It’s crazy how much you have to give up just to provide the basics." 

Tanushree's gaze stayed fixed on them.  Their words echoed in her mind, each one tightening the grip of doubt and worry around her heart. She touched her belly softly, a thousand questions swirling in her head. Could she do this on her own? How would she give her child a good life? 

Tears pricked at her eyes, but she blinked them away. Somewhere deep inside, she wanted to find a way. For her baby. For herself.

“Laado, chal beta,” her mother’s voice called out, breaking through Tanushree’s thoughts. “I’ve fixed an appointment with the gynecologist. We need to reach by 8:30. Come on, get ready.” 

Tanushree sat on the edge of her bed, staring at the floor. Her mind was a whirlwind of thoughts—her parents’ sacrifices, the expenses of raising a child, and the broken marriage she wanted to leave behind. She felt a lump in her throat as tears silently slipped down her cheeks. 

“Tanushree!” Her mother’s voice was more insistent this time. 

Wiping her tears quickly, she got up, dressed simply, and joined her parents in the car. Her father drove in silence, while her mother occasionally glanced back at her with worried eyes. 

At the clinic, Tanushree sat in the waiting area, her stomach churning with anxiety. The muted sound of other patients chatting and nurses calling out names filled the room. She didn’t know what to expect, and that scared her. 

“Tanushree Singh,” a nurse called. 

Her mother nudged her gently. “Chal beta, andar chalte hain.” 

Tanushree followed her mother into the cabin, where Dr. Richa, a middle-aged woman with kind eyes and a warm smile, greeted them. 

“Good morning, Tanushree. Please, have a seat,” Dr. Richa said, gesturing toward the chair opposite her desk. 

Tanushree sat down hesitantly, her hands clasped tightly in her lap. Her mother sat beside her, watching closely. 

“So, Tanushree,” Dr. Richa began with a smile, “this is your first pregnancy, correct?” 

Tanushree nodded silently. 

Dr. Richa leaned forward slightly, her tone gentle. “Don’t worry, we’ll go step by step. Can you tell me when your last period was?” 

Tanushree thought for a moment. “It was… around the 5th of last month,” she said softly. 

Dr. Richa nodded, scribbling notes. “That puts you at about one month pregnant. Does that sound about right?” 

“Yes,” Tanushree replied in a near whisper. 

“Have you been feeling any symptoms? Nausea, fatigue, anything like that?” 

Tanushree hesitated before replying, “I’ve been very tired… and I vomited yesterday morning.” 

“That’s completely normal in the first trimester,” Dr. Richa assured her. “I’ll prescribe something for the nausea. For now, we’ll take it easy. Since you’re still in the early stages, I’ll schedule an ultrasound for next month to monitor the baby’s growth. How does that sound?” 

Tanushree nodded again, her expression unreadable. 

“Do you have any questions or concerns?” Dr. Richa asked kindly. 

Tanushree glanced at her mother, then back at the doctor. “No, nothing right now,” she said quietly. 

Dr. Richa smiled gently. “Alright. Pregnancy can feel overwhelming, especially the first time, but take it one day at a time. And remember, you’re not alone in this.” 

Tanushree managed a faint nod. 

After a few more instructions about nutrition and rest, Dr. Richa handed over the prescription and stood up. “I’ll see you next month for the ultrasound, okay? Take care, Tanushree.” 

As they walked out of the clinic, her mother placed an arm around her. “Dekha? Sab thik hai, beta. Ab bas apna aur bacche ka dhyan rakhna hai.” 

Tanushree nodded, but her heart was still heavy. Even with her parents’ support, she felt the weight of her future pressing down on her shoulders.

At the clinic reception, Tanushree’s mother asked, “The full expenses for delivery and check-ups for the next nine months—how much will it cost?”

The receptionist smiled politely. “For a normal delivery, including all routine check-ups, ultrasounds, and tests, it’s 1 lakh 30 thousand rupees. If it’s a C-section, it will be 2 lakh rupees.”

Tanushree’s heart sank as she overheard the numbers.

Her mother's heart sank too as she turned to look at Tanushree. “Beta, don’t worry about the money. Hum sambhal lenge,” she whispered.

Tanushree nodded weakly, her lips pressed into a thin line, but her mind was racing. All the way home, she sat in the back seat, staring out of the window, her hand unconsciously resting on her belly.

Her parents had already done so much for her and her sister—providing education, managing the household on her father’s modest income, and even supporting her marriage. Her father, tirelessly working long hours, and her mother, struggling with her health yet always putting the family first. How could she add to their burdens?

Later that evening, Tanushree locked herself in her room. She sat by the window, her thoughts spiraling. Even if she somehow managed to give birth, how would she raise the child? The costs kept piling up in her mind: medical bills, diapers, clothes, vaccinations, food, schooling—it seemed endless. Her bank account barely had 30,000 rupees, enough to scrape by for a few months but not nearly enough to provide a stable future for a child.

Her chest tightened. It’s not enough. Not even close. What am I going to do?

She looked down at her belly, rubbing it gently. “How will I raise you?” she whispered, tears streaming down her face. She didn’t want to trouble her parents any further—they had already done so much for her.

The hours dragged on, and Tanushree stayed locked in her room, her thoughts spiraling into despair. That night, lying in bed, she buried her face in her pillow and cried herself to sleep.

Meanwhile, Abhimaan had found out through a relative that Tanushree was staying with her parents. His guilt and regret gnawed at him. He had been a coward, asking her to abort the baby, letting his insecurities and fears dictate his actions.

Driving down the dark highway, his hands gripped the steering wheel tightly, his jaw clenched. “What have I done?” he muttered to himself. He couldn’t get the image of Tanushree’s tear-streaked face out of his mind.

"I messed up," he muttered to himself. "I have to make this right."

The distance to his in-laws’ house seemed endless.

Tanushree woke up around 4 a.m., her stomach churning violently. She stumbled to the washroom, clutching her mouth. As she threw up, her entire body ached, and tears streamed down her face. Leaning over the sink to rinse her mouth, she caught her reflection in the mirror. Her red, puffy eyes stared back at her, a hollow version of herself.

"I can't do this," she whispered shakily. "I just can't…”

The thoughts swirled uncontrollably in her mind. The weight of her pain, her hopelessness, and the uncertainty about her future felt unbearable. On an impulse, she rushed upstairs to the terrace, the early morning breeze hitting her face as she stepped onto the edge. She looked down, her heart pounding.

Meanwhile, Abhimaan had just reached her parents' house. His eyes widened in horror when he spotted Tanushree standing on the terrace edge. Without a second thought, he slammed the brakes, jumped out of his car, and ran to the door, pounding on the bell with urgency.

Tanushree’s father, Sushil, groggily opened the door. “Who’s banging the door at this—Abhimaan? What are you doing her?” He yelled, angrily at his son in law.

Abhimaan didn’t answer and bolted past him, taking the stairs two at a time. Reaching the terrace, he saw her swaying slightly on the edge, the morning light framing her silhouette. His breath caught, but he didn’t stop.

“Tanushree!” he shouted as he lunged forward, grabbing her from behind and pulling her down to the ground with him. They both fell in a heap, Tanushree gasping in shock as Abhimaan’s arms wrapped tightly around her.

“What the hell do you think you were doing?” he yelled, his voice breaking, shaking her shoulders as he tried to catch his breath. “Have you lost your mind?”

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