Blaze pov

The cold weather, the fireplace burning emanating a soft warmness into the house, the children's playing and screaming, the turkey is almost done, the socks by the fireplace full, the people talking and gambling. In contrast, the younger ones roam around the tree to inspect the presenters and the tiny ones cry for attention and food.

I guess that is what Christmas should be like. I couldn't possibly know because my Christmas was never like that. My parents would go to work while me and my brothers opened the presents alone in the big cold living room surrounded by servants. I couldn't complain because that was all I knew and it wasn't bad, it was ok, it was normal, it was our tradition. When my sister died, things changed for the worse. I wasn't allowed downstairs during Christmas Eve and or any festive days because, from that moment on, that big stone house was more like a mausoleum for my dead sister.

There was this monotone and cold atmosphere on weekdays, on weekends, and mostly on holidays... they say they missed her more however they were never with us on those days. My brother probably has a distorted memory of those festivities days. He got the attention to himself whenever they were on a good day, on others he would just get ignored like me, however, his ego ignores the bad days of his life, and he always felt proud of being the replacement for Annalise. The son who does everything right, sadly that's just compensation for their daughter's loss. Damien is just a substitute for their pain and grief.

Today for the first time, I have a house full of people on Christmas day. I can see the snow outside, and the weather is cold outside, I have turned on the fireplace, and Eleonora's cousins are playing together with some early Christmas gifts, the turkey is almost made, and she placed red socks on the fireplace and small presents and treats inside them,  the uncle's are playing cards waiting for the dinner and the small ones are either trying to see their present under the Christmas tree like Charlie and some are begging their dad for more food like Malory.

I don't know how I got here, inside this big family, I don't belong here but somehow I feel like I do. She is the cause of all. I finally feel integrated, part of something and it freaks me out.

This changes that she caused in my life and in me are somewhat scary. It freaks me out, should I fall with open arms and closed eyes into thus abyss of the unknown for her? Change all that I've known for her?

"Babe! You're thinking too much again" she whispered in my head as she placed down the hot rice in the table

"Yeah sorry-" I shook my head taking this thoughts out of my mind

"Go get the door Louis is almost here" she said, I got up and tried to reach the door between the filled living room

I walked to the monitor as the receptionist downstairs warned me Louis was here, I have my permission for them to come up. I waited a few minutes watching the sight of my living room, this living room never had so many people, such live in this enormous space. I would never guess this would happened if two years ago I told myself this would be happening I would hardly deny, I look like a complete married man, getting the door, welcoming the friends and family for a Christmas dinner.

This is way out of my comfort zone, of what I am used to. A family that perpetuates comfort, friendship, love, laughs and smiles is not at all what I thought that a family could be. I have heard that it was possible but I had never seen it with my own eyes and much less would I thought that I would be integrated in this family.

"Buddie!" Louis hugged me brushing my thoughts away

"Hey Lou!"

"UNCLE BLAZE!" the kids came running helding both my legs

"Hey guys!" I said caressing their heads

"Merry Christmas!" Eleonor exclaimed happily hugging Jada

"Hey girl! Merry Christmas!"

"Merry Christmas Louis and you too guys!" She said looking at the kids grabbing my legs

"Hi, Auntie El!" Willow waved her hands

"Hi Princess!" she grabbed the girl carrying her in her arms "Do you want to play? I have a new friend for you guys" she mentioned grabbing Jayden's hand and walking them to Charlie who was playing happily on the ground with his favorite Lego.

"Yess!" both exclaimed walking to Charlie

"So... Christmas party host " Louis started "Who would've thought"

"I sure wouldn't " Jada said tapping on my chest while laughing and carrying little Trevor

Neither did I. I thought to myself.

"The turkey is almost ready, you guys can seat" Eleonor told Jada and Louis, they nodded at her suggestion while doing what she said. She had a cute smile on while walking around the kitchen, her eyes seemed to be glowing and her cheeks had a soft tone of red, her makeup was very soft too, she had dark red lipstick and some brownish eye makeup making her chocolate eye pop up. Her dark red velvet dress suited her like a glove and it was harder each second that it passed for me.

She was looking like that and the only thing I could do was stare, not that I minded at all, I loved watching her especially when she was looking away, when she did not know I was staring because then I could see her in her own world. The way she smiles to herself when she accomplishes something or when she frowns when something is not right. I like to watch her maybe because I am afraid I don't know when it will be my last time.

"You are so whipped!"Louis exclaimed catching my attention

"What?" I said trying to look away from her and avert my eyes to him but I simply couldn't

"You're hopeless" he laughed and I smiled softly

"So when is the next step?" he questioned curiously

"Next step?"

"You know... kids" he commented, his words made my head turn to him with a surprised face

"Oh- no- she doesn't want kids" I told him while my phone buzzed I looked over to read the text

"Hm- I think that's plausible. Who would want a mini workaholic weird freak Blaze running around the house?" He commented making me roll my eyes "She is smart" he laughed

"Hey- can you talk with your boss for me?" I asked looking over at my phone

"Sure why? Are people scamming you or threatening you again?"

"Can you schedule me some time for him?"

"Hm yeah sure no problem. Sargent Hank likes you" he stopped for a minute and suddenly turned his whole body to me interested in this new conversation topic "You know- I have to you this a thousand times. I know there's a lot of people trying to take your business and doing that kind of thing. this isn't new for... you can just gathered the proof and fill a lawsuit and they can be punished by... paying a lot, but still is better than you playing around cops and robbers like we did in middle school" he commented, I slightly smiled at his words

"Don't tell me you're worried?"

"Me? Worried? For you? "He asked with raised eyebrows and a giggle "You surely are living in a fantasy world, is this your wife's doing too?" he asked while laughing at me and I couldn't help but join him

"The turkey is here!"she exclaimed while the rest cheered happily, she took the turkey to the table while everyone smiled at the food

The living room was pretty filled, more than on my birthday because now we had Jada, Louis, and the kids, and also Connor, Jennifer, and Miles, and also My house looked like a home.

After the meal, the presents were opened. The kids were thrilled and even the adults, even Nana with her massaging pillow that I gave her.

They played near the fireplace with their new gifts while the adults talked and gambled a bit like always, I went outside and near the pool was a fireplace with sofas around it and sat on them was Jennifer, Miles, Connor, Jada, Louis and my wife.

I walked in their direction and quickly sat next to Elleonora, she was covered with a fluffy white blanket. She didn't see me coming but as soon as I sat down and covered myself with her blanket too I saw her smile.

"What are you guys talking about?" I asked while holding her hand under the blanket

"How you can handle Ellie every single day of your life"Miles joked earning a shocked gasp from Ella

"It's not that hard" I smiled watching her blush from the corner of my eyes "She is pretty easy to deal with"

"What a lie, what a lie, what a lie" Miles and Jennifer sang quietly

"The question is more... how can she handle Blaze" Jada defended "He is not easy"

"I must agree" Connor said making me raise my eyebrow at him, getting a bit confident aren't we, Connor?

"He is definitely not easy yeah" Ella said joking and looking at me with her sweet smile that made my heart melt "But nothing I can't deal with"

"Awwwww" The others commented while looking at us

"What a lovebirds" Jennifer said

"So cute" Jada giggled

"I don't think they are even listening to us" Miles said as Eleonor's eyes scanned mine

"Yup..no. Maybe we should just-" Louis said getting up while the others followed him. We were finally left alone.

I took my available hand and caressed her warm cheek from the heat the fireplace was emanating. "Hey" I whispered looking at her shiny eyes, this day seemed so long and even though we were in the same house in the same division I just missed her.

"Hi" she whispered back leaving a smile at the end showing her dimples

"We haven't been together that much today"I said with a pout making her smile grow

"Yeah"

"I miss you" I breathed as my hand placed her hair behind her ear

"I am here now"

"Should we just-" I moved my head slightly to the right as I pouted, she got my signal and nodded a no

"We are not telling tell them to go earlier...it's Christmas"

"Exactly" I sulked "I just want to snuggle with you in front of the fireplace"

"We are doing that now"she commented

"Yeah... but like alone" I said while she laughed

"Are you sulking, Mr. Maxwell?" she asked as she grabbed my face with one hand and pressed my cheeks together making me have fish lips "You're so cute" she pecked my lips and then looked at my eyes Ïf you behave I will give you your Christmas present when they leave"

My curiosity suddenly hit me, I raised an eyebrow wondering what it could be "Really?" I asked

"Hm" she hummed while nodding a yes with her head "You can have it when they leave"

"Can you give me a clue of what it is?" I asked interested

"Well I guess I can tell you something" she said thinking her eyes quickly looked at me, but they seemed dark and they sparkle they had before suddenly disappeared. She made a gestue so I would get close, I turned my face so she could tell me her clue while getting near her mouth "It comes wrapped in a ..." as the words came out of her mouth in a subtle way I couldn't help but swallow my saliva and trying to control my heart

"nice... " Thump thump

"dark...." Thump thump

"velvet ..." Thump thump

"dress" Thump thu--------------------------------

I couldn't anything or think about anything, or even move. She giggled sweetly when she saw the power she had over me, she kissed my cheek and got up entering the house again, leaving me there alone, desperate, drowned in agony and lust.

This woman will be the death of me.