EDITED FOR RADISH JUNE 22nd, 2020

Talia's POV

Fall is my favorite season.

I love the way my feet crunched on colored leaves as I walk towards my school. The air was always crisp but not enough for me to get cold. Fuzzy sweaters and warm blankets make life feel more peaceful than any other time- besides the times where I am alone. This time of year brings me more comfort than any other.

I listen to music almost always on my walks. It helps to not hear the constant mumbling and it keeps me concentrated to not focus on my packs stares. My scarf may have hid my mark but that didn't mean that they all hadn't seen it before.

Tomorrow is my eighteenth birthday. Usually it's around this time where I'd find my mate and we'd fall in love before mating and living happily ever after. It's not like that for me.

Mating for girls starts when they start their menstrual cycle which is from the ages twelve to eighteen. For boys it's when they shift which is around fifteen to eighteen. Most never find their mate within their own pack however. Usually, you'd have to travel to find them, which you aren't allowed to do until you're a legal adult.

In order to find your mate earlier, every five years, there is a special event called a "The Spark". It's for those who reach the age of sixteen (with parental permission) and older. Here, you'll be able to find your mate and make new friends from other packs. It's also where some decide that they want to change their pack if they don't find a mate.

Most don't believe in this system. Out of the twenty-three packs in North America, only eleven do it. They claim that it's "playing Goddess". Only the Moon Goddess should lead us to our mate and we shouldn't go looking. However, it has helped a lot of wolves find their mate right before they had given up on hope.

It is held in different packs each year. This year it's in the Modish Pack.

The word Modish means fashion. It's here where all trends start and where all the models come from. Unlike most packs who choose to stay hidden, Modish is located in Long Island, near New York City. They live among humans and choose to live like them, conforming to their norms. but they rarely shift because they have nowhere to run. However, it's the life they love to live so who am I to judge?

I am from the Graceful Pack. We live in New York- close to the Canadian border. We are surrounded by forests in a small town, with small trails leading to each house, store or in this case, high school. It's private property so only wolves live here. We get some humans who get lost but other than that it's just us.

My pack likes to keep tradition close which was why I was surprised when we agreed to The Spark. We aren't as dedicated to the religion as most packs but we still like the idea of finding your mate by fate or coincidence.

However, being in this pack means that you are supposed to be kept proper. Girls usually wear dressy outfits and makeup while out and men dress properly too. You rarely see people dressed in sweatpants or a sweatshirt unless you are at home. It's here where you are supposed to put a skip in your step and a smile on your face. Anyone who goes against these rituals is automatically turned away from. Someone like me.

When I reach school grounds, I take my headphones out. Today was Thursday and my senior class along with some juniors and sophomores, are supposed to go to a meeting for our trip to Modish. Most guys look away from me or move away from me as I walk. I know they do it out of respect or whatever but I hate it. Just because I had this stupid scar didn't mean that I was off all limits. My scar meant nothing to me because the one who made it doesn't want me.

I kept walking until I reached the auditorium. I search the crowd until I find my only friend Lillian. After I was bitten, I was seen as frowned upon. Most parents won't let their kids around me anymore. Lillian was the one exception.

"Talia!" She shouted over me. Lillian moved over a seat so I could sit down. "You're late!"

"No I'm not. They haven't begun yet." I tell her. I'm not even sure why I was going on this trip. It's not like I'd find anyone there.

"Well, they were supposed to start five minutes ago."

"But they haven't yet." I restate.

Lillian was my best friend- my only friend. Her father, like mine, is a warrior. We had been with each other since the day we were born which is only a month apart. When I first got my mark, she never cared about what other people thought. She stayed with me every night for months to help me adjust to the mark without him. She was there when he left me.

Our principal came to the stage and tapped on the mic. "Quiet down." He started with and the room's chatter died. "I'd like to introduce your Alpha who is speaking to you this fine morning."

We all clapped our hands as Alpha Elijah got on stage and our principal left. He patiently waited for us to stop in order for him to speak, smiling the entire time.

"Thank you and good morning." He began. "Now, as you know, tomorrow we will leave our pack to travel to Modish. It's a five hour bus ride there but because we are coming a day early, we won't be leaving until noon. Our stay will last eight days."

"All I ask of you during these eight amazing days is that you stick to the rules of the event and also listen to the Alpha of Modish, Aaron. He is gracious enough to let us come onto his land and stay so thank him if you get the chance. Also, make your days worth while. Communicate with everyone and follow your instinct."

"Last but not least, if you find your mate, you are to return home no matter what after the trip. We only require it because you must decide to stay here in Grace or to transfer to your mates pack. There is some paperwork to sign if you decide to leave or if you bring your mate back here.. but once you come home, you are able to leave as soon as you know where you are going. If you don't find your mate this year, don't lose hope. There are more packs out there who don't come to this event. This isn't the only time where you'll be able to find each other."

"That's all I have for you today. I'll see you all tomorrow."

I clap my hands and stand for my Alpha as he walks off the stage. Elijah was a younger Alpha like most others. He still hadn't found his mate which I think is why he proposed us to go to this year's Spark. I felt sympathy for him. He wanted a Luna so badly.

"I'm so excited!" Lillian exclaims with wide eyes. She is too pure for this world. I really hope she meets her mate and that he's good to her.

"I'm excited for you." I say, meaning it. There was nothing more I wanted than to see Lillian happy.

"Hey, you might find you know who." She tries to lighten me up by mentioning my so-called mate. But my mate is everything that he shouldn't be. I can't even call him mine.

"I don't think so." I state. I wouldn't know what to do if I ever met him. Although I think I would try and ignore or reject him, part of me still wants to just sit down and ask him why he ever left.

***

So, it was Friday. I had all my things packed in a suitcase and backpack. I was counting my money to make sure I had enough for the trip. I worked the summer at an ice cream store outside the pack. I saved my money mostly for college but I needed something to get me through these next eight days.

There was a knock at my door before my mother came in. "Hi honey." She came in and sat down on my bed, "Excited?"

I shrugged, "I guess."

My mom sighed. She brought my hands in hers, making me drop my money on the bed, "You should be. Your mate might be there."

I roll my eyes, "He, won't be there."

I hated how she still called him, my mate. But like I said before, Graceful was proper. Me, I was seen as improper hints that I have a mark yet, no mate. My mother and father were both originally from Graceful so they carried those traditions closely to them. They both believed he'd come back for me and everything in this world would be alright. I mean, yes they still didn't like him but believed he had a valid reason to leave.

I didn't share the same belief.

I was told that because I was still transitioning to my wolf, I wouldn't feel the pleasure of a mark. Most mates find it irresistible, as if the stars would open up and start falling around me. The Goddess made it so that it wasn't supposed to hurt but rather be a way for mates to mind link or be able to talk to each other through their heads. but I didn't hear anything. For months I tried to call him back but with no reply. My pack doctor told me that was because he wasn't responding and that I had a bad reaction to the mark, he had rejected me.

I sigh and shake my head to get rid of these thoughts. Looking at the clock, I realize that it's time for me to go.

"I gotta go." I stand up and hug my mother.

She squeezed the life out of me, "Be safe."

"I will." I tell her. "Make sure you tell dad that I love him."

"Okay. I wish he wasn't working all the time." She says and I simply hum in agreement.

I grab my things and begin walking out of my room. My mother calls me one last time and I laugh to myself, wondering if she'd ever let me go.

When I turn around, she's holding a blue box, "Happy Birthday."

I smile, "I told you not to get me anything."

She bats her hand, "Oh stop that. I am your mother, I am supposed to spoil you."

My mother gestures for me to take the box from her hands. I do and slowly unwrap it. When I do, I gasp. Neatly placed inside is a gorgeous dress. It starts out as a tight fitted, maroon and then poofs into a red. It was a ballgown.

"Mom-" I was speechless. It was the most beautiful gown I had ever laid eyes on.

"You're father and I thought that you deserved this, even if he isn't there. You deserve to feel beautiful all on your own." She smiles, tears forming in her eyes.

I hug her once more, trying not to cry. Money was never an issue but I knew that this dress couldn't have been cheap. In my heart, I knew I'd never actually get to wear it but I didn't tell her that. Instead, I simply thank her, kissing her cheek. By the time my mom whips her eyes, she is ushering me out the door, claiming I'll be late if I don't leave. I thank her once more before I walk out the door and to Lillian's house which was only the next street over from mine. I text her I'm on my way and she meets me at her driveway. In her hands are a suitcase and two duffel bags along with the backpack on her shoulders.

"You do know it's only for eight days right?" I chuckle at her.

"Of course I do. I just want to make sure I have everything I need." She explains. "If I meet my mate, I don't want to regret bringing the black dress instead of the purple. So, I just brought everything."

I shake my head, "Of course you did."

"Don't judge!" She hits me with one of her bags. "If you'd act a bit happier, you'd understand."

"I do. Trust me, I understand." I say, "I just wish-"

"You could overthink too? That you weren't stuck." She finishes for me.

I sigh, "Yeah."

I've always wondered what would have happened if I was never marked. I thought about all the different ways my mate could have been. I've imagined every possible way we could have met. I thought about what it would felt like when we touched- how it would seem like everything in this messed up world seemed right. That everything I've ever known was only half as good as amazing until I met him and I'd be whole.

but I am marked. And I did feel those sparks. It was something that I never told anyone else except for Lillian. That after the pain faded and he had ran, I touched my neck to see if it was all real. When I did, warmth flooded my body. but when I lifted to see my hand, it was covered in blood. After, I fainted. I felt those sparks for maybe a second, before they were gone along with him.

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Aria