so many questions she can't find any answers to. sometimes they say to search within yourself, but she got that feeling of not finding anything. she is filled with void and she doesn't know where to look. there is nowhere to look at. she is tired of searching left and right. looking through thick bricks, pushing and screaming against them but not finding a way to calm herself. 

she misses the feeling of a hand going gently through her brown hair, like a gentle bee landing on a flower, eager for its essence. this is what she needs, that feeling. that indescribable  need of feeling it overflow on, in and up her. her heart racing and beating faster, even pounding but still feeling at ease. in the gentle embrace of something she desperately needs. something she craves, as essential as the air we all breathe.

she feels like not being able to open her chest and take a big fresh breath of air. feeling like she hasn't been able to see the surface. she adores the sea but feels submerged, unable to breach the surface.

she is longing for something, she has long lost. something she isn't able to find again. something few people experienced. without it, she dreads becoming a shipwreck in the ocean's depths, where once serenity prevailed where she once found peace and now it's too quiet for her to even breath.