They were quiet for the first part of the walk. Marin's head was too muddled to form words, and Tilly seemed to realize this, and gave him some space to collect his thoughts.

Tilly had been making house calls, often working with Marin, for well over a year now. Their talents were complimentary, which made them a good pair. But while they were friendly and engaged in casual banter, they had never had reason or opportunity to engage in deep discussions before. Marin's usual confidant was his father, who was back alone in their room. Did Hobard know what was going on? Edwin, the little twerp, had collected Marin's cloak, so it was possible that he knew. But not being able to say goodbye? That was just cruel.

The thought of his father, alone and confused, forced Marin to break the silence. "Can you tell my father what happened?" Marin started.

"Of course. Although I don't really know what happened." Tilly kept her eyes forward, not prying.

"Tell him they didn't let me say goodbye."

They took several more steps until Marin saw a fallen log next to the path. It was a perfect place to sit, shaded and private, so he gestured for Tilly to stop. He stepped over to the log and plopped down on it, his satchel meeting the ground. Tilly brushed a few ants away and took a seat next to him.

"I'm sure you can explain that to him yourself," Tilly finally responded.

"How? You saw. They... they kicked me out." Marin could hardly believe it. Everything had happened so fast.

"Well... your father is not a prisoner. He can come and say goodbye to you. No one has forbidden you from speaking with him. Have they?"

Marin chewed on the suggestion for a moment before dismissing it. "No, of course not. But, you know my father. His eyes are milky and his hair thin. He hasn't taken the walk down into town in moons, and the last time, I was there to guide his arm when needed."

Tilly nodded, but said nothing.

"Do you have any idea how humiliating it is to be told to leave your home? Leave and, and do what exactly? Pray?" Tears threatened at the corners of Marin's eyes.

"Yes," Tilly whispered, the faintest breath escaping her lips.

Marin turned and looked at her. "Yes?"

"Yes," she repeated, but did not elaborate. She said still, her elbows resting on her knees, her shoulders relaxed. Her face was equally still, her gaze steadily staring at the ground.

"Well, what happened?" Marin asked, his curiosity piqued.

Without moving, she answered, "My father kicked me out of our home. That's how I ended up joining The Order and becoming a nutrix." Then she shifted her weight and glanced up at Marin with a sad smile. "I know how disorienting it can be."

Marin felt a mixture of pity and fascination. Most girls joined The Order because they felt a sacred calling to duty. Or, in some less fortunate cases, their families had no dowry for marriage. But he wondered what Tilly could have done to be disowned by her own family? He desperately wanted to know, but didn't dare ask.

"How did you know about the nutrix?" He asked instead, hoping to draw out more of her story.

"Well, you might not believe me, but... I believe your mother told me." She looked him right in the eye, almost inviting him to ask how that was possible.

He obliged, a sense of dread settling in his stomach. "How? How did you know my mother?"

Tilly turned her head and looked up at the sun, which had passed its apex and was on the slow descent towards evening. "Your mother was Maggie, right?"

Marin paused, hearing her name. "Yes," he confirmed.

"I grew up in Dawsbury. Are you familiar?"

Marin nodded. Of course he was. It was the next small settlement down river from Addersfield, which was where he had been raised.

"Well, our village didn't have a wise woman. But, as you know, Maggie lived in the next village over. And she would be called upon when we needed a healer. I didn't know she had a son named Marin." Tilly glanced back at Marin.

"Then, how did you know that Maggie was my mother?" Marin could feel his fingers become numb and he held his breath. How much about his past did Tilly know?

"I knew that her husband, Hobard, had joined The Order after she had passed. And, if Hobard is your father, it was easy to figure out that Maggie was your mother."

Her explanation made sense. He sighed with relief. "And Maggie told you about the nutrix?"

"She said that I seemed to have a knack for healing. Mentioned it in passing. And, when I needed to go somewhere, that's where I went."

"My mother was right. You do have a knack for it. She'd be proud of how much you've accomplished in so little time." Marin could feel his smile relax for a second until he remembered what had started their conversation. "But I doubt she would be proud of me right now."

"May I ask?"

Marin didn't know how to answer. Part of him would rather ask her about why she had needed somewhere to go. What awful thing could someone as kind as Tilly have done to be disowned by her own family? He busied his fingers picking at a bit of loose bark on the trunk of the tree they were sitting on. Without looking at Tilly, he muttered, "Jocelyn is pregnant."

"I knew it! Didn't I say... Wait? What? Why are you changing the subject?"

"I'm not."

Tilly placed her hands in her lap and looked at him with her large, dark eyes, waiting for him to say more.

"Greggory came up to the monastery this morning. He told Abbot Osbert that she named me the father."

"That's ridiculous," Tilly scoffed.

He agreed. The whole thing was utterly ridiculous. Yet, her reaction hit him like an arrow through the chest. "Ridiculous that a woman like Jocelyn would desire me?" Marin stood. There was only so much humiliation that a man could take.

"What? No, Marin, that's not what I meant." Tilly reached for his sleeve. "Please, sit back down."

"I don't want to sit back down," he yelled. Even as the words came out of his mouth, he knew he sounded like a petulant child. But then his burst of anger tuned into tears, and his body was wracked with sobs. He collapsed back onto the trunk of the fallen tree and folded into himself. Tilly placed her hands on his back and gently patted him.

After several minutes, she asked, "Did Abbot Osbert just take Greggory's word?"

"No." He sat up, wiping snot from his nose. "I confessed to the Abbott that I was a sinner. I asked for forgiveness. Instead, he forced me to leave."

She squinted her eyes at him. "So, you are the... father?"

The way she asked let Marin know she didn't believe it was possible, and that hurt his pride. But he couldn't hold it against her. Everyone knew that Jocelyn and Albert had been inseparable. Until recently.

Marin decided not to answer her question. There was no reason to lie. Jocelyn had accused him of being the father. He was a sinner. The biological impossibility wasn't relevant. Especially right now, as they sat off the path that connected The Order and the town of Curander, and he had no clue what direction to go or what to do next. "What's important is that I no longer have a place in the medics, and that I was told to leave the monastery without being given an opportunity to say a proper goodbye to my father. Where am I going to go?"

"Well, I think that is fairly obvious. You should go stay with your brother back in Addersfield. At least for a short while."

"Addersfield," Marin mused.

"If you get to the eastern gate before sunset, you're likely to catch a farmer heading home from market who will get you over the first set of foothills. You could be there by supper tomorrow."

Marin had gone to visit his brother several times over the years. He knew the way home, but somehow, knowing that Tilly also knew the way made him feel even closer to her.

"Do you want to come, to?" He didn't know why he asked, but he suddenly didn't want to be without her.

"I can't." She gave him a sad smile. "Not tonight, anyway. But I will check in on your father as soon as I get back up the hill, and maybe..." She didn't finish her sentence.

"I know. I really appreciate it. Thank you, Tilly."

They stood, but before Marin walked away, she wrapped him in a tight embrace and whispered in his ear, "Be safe."