Tags: Pining wolfstar, topic: first kiss, misteloes, Pining James, gay Remus (implied), trans Regulus (implied), Pining Mary, Mary having a sexuality crisis, Sirius being a bit of a wanker

"How is Operation Wolfstar going?" James raised an eyebrow "You are aware that Remus is kinda fucked if anyone hears that name you came up with?" "If anyone hears that name we have a totally different problem." 

Sighing, James shook his head. "I hung all the mistletoes just like you asked." Sirius grinned euphorically. "Perfect. Knew I could rely on you. You're gonna be the best man at our wedding." "I was always gonna be the best man at your wedding", James insisted. "Well, yes. But now you'll be the best man at our  wedding."

"You better go make sure, Moony doesn't end up with someone else under a mistletoe", James reminded him, patting his back. Immediately Sirius nodded and headed toward the stereo, where Remus was sorting the records by artist.

"Are you ready for tonight?" "Almost. Peter made sure everything is connected, so I think we're good to go. Did you get on with the decorations alright?", Remus asked, without looking up. "Yup. We have the fairy lights, the mistletoes, the decorations for the pictures..." Now Remus did look up. "Mistletoes?"

Sirius loved having Remus' undivided attention. It was a powerful experience, unlike anything else he had ever felt. He smiled. "Yeah, why not? It's a tradition, right?" Remus tried to play it cool, but four years and some months with him had taught Sirius to see beyond the act. "Yeah. I'm not gonna kiss anyone though. I don't do that." "You don't have to..." Sirius shrugged, trying to act normal when his plan was shattering around him. "And I'm a bit surprised that you knw of it. I thought it was a muggle thing." Remus started chewing his lip as he did so often.

"Not actually. They just stole it. Witches and Wizards used it against poison, that's why it is used in so many healing potions. Also, people thought that it kinda looked like sperm, so it became a sign of male fertility. Funny how things work out." Remus raised an eyebrow. "How do you know that?" "I have a lot of useless knowledge. It's a heavy burden..." He sighed dramatically, then laughed. Remus shook his head, but couldn't help smiling.

Sirius loved his smile. More importantly, he loved being able to make him smile.

"I'm gonna go change. See you at the party?" "Sure."

~

All evening Sirius didn't dare take his eyes off Remus. Operation Wolfstar had seemed like a safe bet, but now that Remus didn't want to kiss anyone... Sirius' first instinct was to try and change his mind, but then again if he did that, Remus might end up snogging someone else.

Remus wasn't objectively attractive with his scars and his too-big nose, but he was incredibly sweet and kind to everyone and he always smelled good - especially considering that he was a teenage boy -, but then there was his rough side, the one that usually came out around the full moon... It was utterly fascinating how these factors made Remus - at least to Sirius - irresistibly hot.

"Stalking Moony again, are we?" James appeared next to him, drink in hand. Sirius shot him a look. "Trying to impress Reg again, are we?" he lifted an eyebrow. James blushed. "No... How would I be doing that?" "Leaning against the wall, acting all cool, talking to me... You're trying to make him jealous." "Is it working?"

Sirius glanced over his shoulder to his little brother, who was looking just a little lost in between the rest of Hogwarts that had stayed here over the holiday season. "I think you have a better shot if you go talk to him right now, save him from the awkwardness", he replied. It had taken him a few months to adjust to the thought, that James was head over heels for his little sibling, but eventually, he got around to it. At least that meant that James would someday be his brother-in-law. Plus, he knew that James would never hurt Reggie, so that was something he didn't have to worry about.

His eyes darted back to Remus, who was sitting at the edge of the staircase, right behind a mistletoe. "That's my chance. Good luck." Sirius patted James on the back before making his way through the crowd of people dancing and chatting in the middle of the room.

By the time he arrived, Mary, visibly drunk, was sitting next to Remus. He sighed.

"It just sucks that she is dating this guy now. I mean, she could have anyone and she chooses HIM?" "Victor isn't that bad." "Sure he isn't, I'm just saying that she could do better. She deserves better."

"Jealous of Evans' boyfriend again?", Sirius asked, leaning against the corner. "Pratt. I'm not jealous. Why would I be jealous of him?" "Because you obviously fancy Lily." "What? No, I don't! You have no idea what you're talking about." With angry tears, she stormed off.

Sirius sighed, taking her place on the stairs. "Well done", Remus teased dryly. "What? It's just the truth. They've been pining over each other since first grade, it's getting kinda annoying." "Not everyone is as smooth about this as you are. People need their time, you can't just spring that on someone."

Sirius knew he was right, that he should have been nicer; more remus-y. But by now Mary was probably somewhere in the girl's loo sobbing about her sexuality. "I wasn't always as smooth about it." "I know", Remus took a sip from his beer, "I heard you that night in second year."

Of course, Sirius remembered that night. The first time a boy had kissed him. The first time anyone had kissed him. He had felt so guilty, and hid in his dorm room and wept the entire night. Not even James had been able to calm him down.

"I should probably look after Mary. She's having a tough time right now." Remus was about to leave when Sirius grabbed his wrist, holding him back. "Wait." He didn't even know what he wanted. But he knew that he didn't want Remus to leave.

"What?" The taller boy asked calmly, looking at him with those soft, brown eyes.

Sirius' head drew a complete blank and it took him a good few seconds to remember how to speak. "Mistletoe. We-" he cleared his throat, "Is it the right time to tell you that we're standing under a mistletoe?" Remus looked up, then down at him again.

"I told you I wouldn't kiss anyone tonight." "You didn't say you wouldn't kiss me..." he tried and failed not to sound too hopeful or too pathetic. Remus took a step toward him. "Sirius..."

'how could you ever think I would want anything like that with you?'
'I have a secret boyfriend'
'I'm actually dating your brother'
'I'm actually dating James'
'I'm not interested in guys anymore'
'Your breath smells.'
'You disgust me and being within ten feet from you physically hurts me'

"I don't want our first kiss to be like this... I don't want it to be forced by anything. But, if it'll make you happy..." He leaned forward, his lips brushing Sirius' cheek. Everything inside him seemed to explode.

Sirius stood completely still for a few more seconds, bathing in the feeling of Remus' lips, the warmth, the smell of beer in his breath. When he opened his eyes again, Remus was already gone.

A/N: My soulmate forced me to post this at 00:30, because she really wanted to read it, so thank her.