Spencer had been sleeping on the couch at the Flat in East London for over a week and there was no sign of him vacating the spot any time soon. He had started out at James and Lily's, and Remus and Sirius had stayed there a couple nights, until Dora Potter came home from Hogsmeade and then they'd come back to the flat - Spencer not wanting to be separated from Remus.

Peter Pettigrew wasn't stupid, he knew James and Lily needed the spare bedroom at their cottage for the baby's nursery - the room was already cluttered with baby furniture and paint cans, even as James and Lily both dropped less than subtle hints for Peter to move with them and allow Spencer to move into the room at the flat. Once again, Peter was being ousted - just like he would have been ousted for Regulus if he hadn't have died, and just like the lads had gotten a two room flat in the first place, only room enough for James, Remus, and Sirius. He'd asked them at graduation, when the boats were too small to accommodate them all, what would happen after school, and they'd promised to stay friends... then effectively cut Peter out. He wasn't truly wanted, not here at the flat nor at the Potter' house. He was an add on, something they included as an after thought, and he was tired of it. Tired of not being wanted in his own friend group.

Peter wasn't sure he wanted to live in Godric's Hollow anyway, though, even if he was wanted.

First of all, it was clear the option was being offered out of desperation to get him to leave the flat without anyone having to actually ask him to move out. When James brought it up at a dinner, Remus had immediately swallowed wrong and started choking, and he and Sirius had stepped into the other room to stop the coughing. He would be in the way at the Potters, he just knew it.

Once, he would have leaped for joy and taken them up on even the subtlest of hints to move into thst house with James and Lily. He would have loved helping Lily with baby stuff and talking with James about quidditch and he would have been ecstatic to learn to knit with Dora like James and Lily were, and to help feed Roger and everything. Once, James was the person Peter felt most excited to be around, the person he would have counted as his best friend, the one who looked out for him and made sure to include him, but -- Well, ever since sixth year and the whole mess at Havmork, James Potter had become very selfish and leadery. It was like James thought the stuff he'd been through made him automatically the most important in the group, and he acted like he was boss over them all, calling "family meetings" and the like...

Secondly, Godric's Hollow was a lot further away from Oni than he would like to be, and it would certainly be harder to sneak out under Dora, Lily and James's watch than it was under Remus and Sirius, who seemed to forget half the time that Peter even lived with them at the flat. Sirius had recently started paying more attention than usual, ever since the love magic he'd forced on Peter, that is. But for the most part, Peter could come and go as he pleased with no questions asked. Which meant he and Oni were able to go and listen and learn from their new friend - Barty Crouch.

For that is what Peter had started to consider Barty - a friend.

Which led to the third reason Peter had to avoid moving into the Potters cottage - their clear bias against anything Grindelwald. The way they all had reacted to Peter having a bloody book had been ridiculous. Imagine - just imagine - if they knew about the trips to Speaker's Corner or the coffee shop chats with Barty Crouch and Oni Lamm. Just imagine if they knew how Peter really was thinking - well, they'd been ready to kick him out already, hadn't they?

But honestly, that wasn't what real friends acted like.

Real friends were understanding and listened to others opinions. They didn't assume someone was evil just because their views differed from their own. They'd done that to Regulus, too, hadn't they? Especially Sirius. They'd pushed Regulus away until the kid had died trying to be seen by their self-centered, blind eyes. Sirius still insisted Regulus was evil because he was a Death Eater...

Barty wasn't like the other Death Eaters. He was like Regulus Black, he told Peter and Oni in a hushed voice one time when they were all sitting in a booth at a pub after one of Barty's talks at Speaker's Corner. "Regulus wasn't like a proper Death Eater, right, he was only part of it to undermine the game, yeah? Take what he wanted of it and to hell with the rest? That's like me! Some bad stuff doesn't make a whole movement wrong. Voldemort may have a following of nasty people and some cockeyed beliefs, but honestly the over all message is one of peace if you listen properly. He wants to keep magical blood pure, sure, but his agenda... its ultimately to help the muggles from themselves, really."

It made sense to Peter.

It made sense to control magic for safety reasons: after all, too many people who didn't understand and appreciate the roots and history of Magic could use it all wrong and use it against one another. It could result in world wide devastation. But abandoning the muggles was heartless. So it was for the Greater Good that the wizards should rule over and care for them. If there were powerful wizards who took over and cared for the muggles then all the violence and the wars would stop - the hate would stop.

"Voldemort's vision might be extreme but it was built upon the foundation built by Grindelwald, and he really knew his stuff," Barty explained once, "Grindelwald - he could've changed the world if it hadn't been for Dumbledore wanting the power himself."

Even James himself had said Dumbledore wasn't as great as the whole world lotted him out to be, yet he still chose Dumbledore's side over Grindelwald's? And Remus - Remus who had basically acted out the principles Grindelwald took by biting Spencer! Who was doing the very thing of caring for a muggle, being a magical leader for a muggle who couldn't help himself. And if Remus would just read the book he so quickly judged and condemned without even knowing what it said...

Peter felt like he was the only one making sense anymore.

Which was why he sat in the curry shop across from Oni and asked, "What if we got a flat together, you and I?"

Oni looked up. They'd been reading - well she had anyway, Peter had been thinking about all this and working up the nerve to ask.

"Excuse me?" she asked.

Peter flushed. "What if we got a flat together, you and I? My friends want me to move out."

Oni looked concerned. "They do?"

"Yeah," he said. "They've never really wanted me there, I don't reckon, but they've met this new bloke and they want me to move out so he can have my room and all." Peter shrugged. "I'd rather live where I'm wanted."

Oni said, "I don't blame you."

"So what do you think? You and me?"

"I can't, Peter."

"Why not? It'll be brilliant and --"

"I can't live with you, Peter. I can't live with a man I'm not married to. What would people think?"

"Why should they think anything?"

"Because - Peter - they will."

"But --"

"I can't."

"So - so -" and Peter was bold then, "So why don't we get married then?"

Oni stared at him, mouth half open, unsure how to even respond. "Peter, I - what?"

"Sure!" Peter said quickly, before he could lose the nerve, "It makes sense. We agree on loads of stuff, and you're pretty, and I like you a whole lot and it's - it's a war on, right? We may never have a chance if we wait. We - we have to take chances when we're given them and --"

"Oh Peter. I'm sorry. No." Oni flushed. "I'm sorry. I think you're a great guy, and I - I mean maybe one day, maybe, but we - we aren't even -- I mean, we've not even made it official we're anything besides - you know, research buddies, and - and there's a lot of steps that come before marriage and moving in together, Peter. Loads of them!" She reached out a hand and touched his wrist, truly feeling sorry for him, and sorry for having to break his heart.

"You would have said yes to Regulus."

"It would have been different if Regulus had asked," Oni said.

"Of course," Peter scowled.

"If Regulus had asked me, it would have been out of familial obligation and a magical contract that I would have had to - I was betrothed to Sirius Black, Peter, and when Sirius failed to meet that, Regulus was eligible to step in and claim the contract our parents made."

Peter sighed and shook his head bitterly.

"Peter, don't be cross with me because I won't marry you on a wild whim. You're asking a lot."

Peter stared at the table top. "I just don't know what to do."

Oni frowned, "I am sorry that you're in this position."

"Yeah." Peter sat back, sullen and frustrated, disappointed and a strange sort of jealousy flooding him he couldn't explain. Regulus was dead after all, what the hell was there to be jealous of?

"You know, Barty was talking about moving last time we talked with him," Oni said, remembering. "He's stuck at home with his awful parents. His dad's a real jerk. I'll bet he'd be interested in getting a flat."

"Yeah?"

Oni nodded. "Probably. You ought to talk to him about it."

Peter nodded, "I suppose."

Oni squeezed Peter's arm. "Please no hard feelings, Peter, okay? Please?"

"Yeah no hard feelings," Peter agreed.

"Really, though, you should ask Barty."

"I will," he murmured.

Oni nodded, and turned back to her book,

Peter stared down at his own book and tried very hard not to feel sorry for himself.