Arz kiya hw mulayza farmayiye...

Naushad ke itne deewane huye..

Ke Raju ko ho gayi jalan..

Isi gam me dekho bahno..

Mera aaj ka karyakram.

Waah waah waah waah waah..

She has been rooted. Looking at Naushad. Asking for some confirmation cause still she cant believe him. out of nowhere a transfer letter. it is not something you can pull out of thin air, can you!

'This is not something all so sudden right? You..you..You confiscated it!' She points at him. And he is silent. Completely silent.

This silence breaks her tears free. Is This the man she has been holding onto? the dream she just saw day ago, the dream so naive and nascent like an innocent baby he is hell bent on choking it. he wants to run away. away from her.. its not like she wants him to be bound to her forever. but after sharing something, opening up his wounds for her and letting her in what the hell she is supposed to do! she wants something of him. a holding hand or a consoling chest or soothing sight...a single thing from him. what she is getting right now....empty eyes, hollow hands and cheating chest. he is evading.

'speak up naushad! till how long you'll be silent? tell me! damn it tell me!' she holds his collar.

'last night the moment you begged me to hold you, i did. you asked for comfort i provided. i let myself caress your soul. i let myself break every boundary so that i could pull you out of your exile. still this silence! this deafening silence! kuch to bolo naushad. kuch bolo....'

her eyes are stinging. tears are flowing nonstop but it seems neither blizzard nor rain storm can move this guy. her hands starts slipping past his collars.

'are you for real, naushad? such a coward! an army man but with no heart! a chicken you are! you are a bloody fucking coward. you will continue running away from every damn emotion because you have this blindfold named distrust. you can not trust other person and never if the person is she! you say women are cheater. how tiny your shell is! dont you think saira too will be a woman one day!'

'NAINA' he is raged. naina laughs though, a bitter one.

'dont shout mr. naushad rizvi. because I very well can. and for your kind information, saira is not your fucking property. she is bloody mine. meri beti he wo. aur aap jaise aaadmi ke sath me apni jindagi nahi chhod sakti. i dont care whether you die alone or with your griefs, meri beti aapke sath ek minute nahi rahegi.kabhi bhi nahi...Even if it means court and her custody, I'll see it. I'll never leave her with you. Bhale mujhe iske liye jameen aasman kyu na ek karna pade!'

she bears his burning stare but doesnt stop.

'Dont you dare. Saira ko is sab ke beech me laane ki koi jarurat nahi he. She has nothing to do with it.'

'Yes. She has nothing to do with you but with me. Whats your problem? what the hell is your problem? tell me. saira ke liye aap ye show karte ho ki poori duniya uske kadmo me rakh doge. kyu? tab kyu nahi aapko yaad ata ki wo arwa ki bhi beti he! why dont you remember it then! aapko tab koi pareshani kyu nahi hoti?'

she is looking into his eyes straight and what she gets in return is  strong hold on her wrists.

'what do you want? tum kya chahti ho? Tell me. saira arwa ki nahi meri beti he. Ye mat bhulo. us aurat ka meri beti se koi lena dena nahi he..stop dragging my child into all this.'

'she is mine, naushad. dont you dare call her yours. tum us ko deserve nahi karte. you know this! Such an angel like her doeant deserve a hollow person like you.

And what do you mean by all this? Ha. am i committing a sin by asking for my rights? after spending a night together dont you think you owe me something? tell me, dont you?'

'exactly! it was a night. only one night. why so hype about it? sirf ek raat sath gujari he humne...sath jeen marne ke waade nahi kiye the!'

truth hits her hard. only a night it was. so it was raw sex or rebound or frustration sex or what? was she not a wife last night? was she proviing him her body only? so what exactly was she last night? she cant see herself right now..not even her shadow. 

'so...it was nothing?' she trembles in uttering those words. they seem so forsaken..

'no. it was nothing!'

SLAP...

she slaps naushad hard. in fact her hand stings. she looks at him then at her hand. in a moment everything is changed. all of sudden this heaven is worse than hell. the man standing infront of her suddenly loses the place he has been holding. all of sudden she has no idea why she slapped him. was she insecure?was she jealous? did she act like a clingy wife? or the realization that sex was what happened last night between them hit her hard? or the collapse of her dreams and hopes... she has no idea. 

'you want me to leave? i'll. and i promise you naushad, i'll never ever step my foot in this house. never..'

she runs away. but the truth that captain rizwi is stone cold man just been out and proven. 

********

she is driving fast. not rash driving but fast. she has her eyes on speedometer cause saira is in back. She is wiping her eyes with her one hand the way front glass is being done in same way. Weather is in foul mood. Its raining cats and dogs.

she  cant believe what just happened few minutes ago. she fought with naushad. they literally had tiff, bad one. and his words...they not only lit the fire but also poured fuel. 

it was just a night! a night they had slept together.

yes, and that made her bloody prostitute! if sex means nothing then either it is for money or she is sex obsessed which she was not. but she was not being paid either. a meaning less sex...what she was supposed to think? a wife of name sake? mother of his child? a care taker? what the hell she was? the moment she asked for right, he just pulled out!

'fucking coward!'

she changes the gear. it is dark , completely dark. she cant see afar. its not visible but she wants to get away from shimla. just away from this city....

on a distance there is light. she slows the car and stops it. a checking is going on. kind of night patrolling and security stuff. and like a cherry on top, these people belong to army! her blood boils.

an officer knocks at her window. she rolls it down.

'is there any problem, officer? i ean, in this weather your checking vehicles.'

'actually we were just keeping a night patrol up. ma'am. i need to see your driving license and id as well. will you please?'

she nods. she opens up dash an searches. there is nothing. she has not even brought her purse. damn it! damn him actually! she in anger just rushed away after picking saira and car keys...

she is restless. officer senses it.

'some problem ma'am?' she sees him looking at her daughter and his eyes tell her that he is calculating things. before he could announce her kidnapper, she clarifies..

'she is my daughter and i..i was taking her to her grand parents. my dad..umm he wanted to see her and he is kind of ill.' she is stammering because there is no truth in her lie. saira has got no grand parent from her side. she is as lonely as the bloody moon in sky. 

'okay. can you contact your husband or someone from your family to take you back because the road is blocked. you cant make it after the next turn. call your family and arrange for an immediate return.'

'my husband is not in city. and i live alone with my daughter.' another lie straight to officer' face. he though catches her because he has strictly told her to get down and come with him.

she picks her daughter and wraps her with her shawl. officer takes her under the umbrella. she is met with another officer whom she assumes to be senior one. right now she is standing under umbrella with saira on her shoulder. almost whole unit of army officer trying to find any clue from her and to prove her kind of offender or something more worse, and a set of question ready in every one's mind.

'dont you think its pretty late to roam out in night and that too with a child? you know she can fall ill?'

saira's asthama!!!! she remembers it now. she is now completely gone. she didnt think of it earlier.

'i...i know but circumstances.. sir can i lie my daughter somewhere dry. she'll catch cold easily. please.' he nods and allows her to take her daughter in. she goes to one tent and lies saira down. she wraps her with provided blanket. her eyes stings. this poor soul is becoming victim for nothing. she needs sort this mess out right now.

she approaches officer. 

'sir, i..I think my friend will be awake. can i call her? she is a doctor. can i call her, please?'

she is allowed to make call. she hurriedly dials her number.

'hellooo.' sleepy pooja.

'sun. i need a favor.'

'rat ke ek baje i cant give you favor. apne army wale shauhar se -'

'sun, majak ka time nahi he. mere ghar ja aur waha se mera d.l. aur i.d. le kar aa jaldi. mera hand bag bhi drawing room ki table par pada he wo bhi lekar aa.'

'lekin naina, itni raat-'

'me is time highway pr hu. please jaldi aa. its an emergency.'

' but naina..tu itni rat me wo bhi highway-'

'please, i need you. please.. waki tu aa, me btati hu.' she disconnects the call and hands over phone. her phone has been dead all way long.

now she has to wait for pooja to turn up so that she can leave this place. this rain, thunders, storm, wind hitting her, she wants a way out. she left his place the way he wanted. now what left is leaving his area. hopefully she'll do this too the moment pooja tuns up. she has broken her ties...finally. her life is sleeping peacefully in tent and she doesnt want to think of amyone else. not tonight not never..

she waits outside tent. her hair, cheeks, nose are wet the way her eyes were...

na jaane kya soch kar ye raah chuni thi maine..

ab na manjil najar aati he na rasta..

na jane kya soch kar hath thama tha maine..

naam kar di thi saanse uski...

is qadar bikhar gayi me...

jaise patjhad ka patta..

 does he deserve her tears? dont know.....the night has been so long..why dont it pass! she cries and cries silently..

pooja'll come and the pain'll end. 

she looks at road and spots two headlights tearing away rainy picture..

the end is near....perhaps.

Dedication:mishhtalkative Belated wishes after three days.
Second : to all of you.
Third: @corona
Fourth: riemannianmanifold