158. pink lilies & benches
EVAN HADN'T ANSWERED any of Claudia's multiple letters filled with her begging him to give her more time. It had been weeks since the first one was sent, and he was still ignoring her.
She hoped that he was dead. But, by the looks of it, he was not, considering the letter Nolan had sent the other day where he had just wanted to "check up on her" which basically meant that he wanted to put her through more misery by reminding her that she didn't have much time left until she had to leave everything she knew behind.
Claudia had to simply wish that Evan by a miracle would respond and give her some more time so that she wouldn't ruin the day after James and Lily's wedding for everyone.
But, she figured that if he didn't respond, she would stay a little longer. It was, after all, his own fault for not responding to her.
Anyway, Claudia and Remus had spent the past two weeks living at Lupin cottage with Hope and Lyall. During the days, they would read, swim, lay on the beach and go for walks. That was if they weren't at Potter manor helping with the wedding preparations, of course.
Because, it was after all only a few days left until James and Lily would get married.
On this specific sunny day a few days before the wedding, Claudia and Remus were at Potter manor. Yet, they weren't really up to much considering how they were laying on the couch alongside Sirius and Peter - all of them tired, overheated and slightly annoyed.
Yet, Claudia didn't seem very fazed by that considering how Remus had fallen asleep with his head on her lap. She couldn't help but to glance at him a little too often, because she felt that the more she watched his beautiful face, the more she would remember it.
Suddenly, however, she could tell that he was stirring awake from his short-lived nap, which caused her to smile like an idiot and poke him in the face a little so that she would be met by a smile from him.
Which she sure was.
"You're so cute when you're tired," she commented as he finally opened his eyes, receiving just an even bigger smile in response as loud sighing suddenly was heard from their right.
It was Hope, who had arrived to help even more with the wedding preparations.
"Why are you all just sitting here?" She asked the party with a scolding yet warm and happy face.
"It's too hot to function," said Sirius, who was supported in his statement by Peter, who was holding a bag of frozen peas on his head.
Hope smiled, "That's not an excuse. You're big boys and girls now. You can handle some heat. Now, go on and find a way to be helpful, yeah? I bet James and Lily are stressing out right about now."
"I think Mia's the one who is stressing out, mum," Remus remarked. "Pretty sure James is laying down right there by the icebox on the floor."
Hope rolled her eyes, but the statement made by her son proved itself to be true as she turned around, only to find James groaning on the floor by a cupboard that was enchanted to be cool. He smiled up at Hope and gave her a thumbs up.
"You don't have anything to do either?"
James shrugged, "I had a list. And I checked everything off. Or, at least I think I did..."
Claudia grinned as she picked out the list from her pocket. "Did you fix the tent?"
"Yes."
"The tables?"
"Yes."
"The flowers?"
"Yes..."
"That doesn't sound like a yes," Remus pointed out.
"No..."
"Yes or no?"
James sat up and shook his head. "I didn't get all the flowers."
Hope smiled, "Then you guys have something to do! Bye then, I have dresses to alter. Don't forget to come and show me how your bridesmaid dress fits later, okay Claudia?"
"I won't forget," Claudia smiled.
"Good, sweetie," Hope nodded. "Now, get the flowers before you give Mia and Lily heart problems!"
"Okay," James said as he stood up. "I don't think everyone has to go so-"
"Remus and Claudia can do it!" Sirius and Peter said at the same time, earning themselves slight glares from the two, that quickly went away as they realised that it didn't seem so bad to help out - even if that's what they had been doing all day - and also spend some more time together alone.
"We'll do it," Remus smiled.
"Great!" James exclaimed. "Okay so, we've got everything except for lilies. Lily wants lilies!"
"No, James wants lilies!" The group heard Lily yell from upstairs, where she was with Euphemia as they tried out different hairstyles.
James chuckled, "And she wants them pink."
"No! James wants them pink!"
James chuckled again, this time rather nervously as Sirius snickered from where he eas sitting on the couch, and then James looked at the two again.
"Could you two maybe go to the village and pick them up? There's a nice floral shop there, and the lady who works there - Katrina - she knows that someone's coming to get them. Can you do that for Lily?"
"For James!"
"Won't they wilt?" Claudia asked.
"We'll enchant them," James informed her. "So, will you get the flowers for Lily?"
"No, we'll get the flowers for you, Jamie," Claudia grinned, standing up and dragging Remus along with her. "We'll be right back! It's the only flower shop around, right?"
"Exactly," James smiled, waving the two off as they walked towards the front door hand in hand.
•••
With a huge amount of pink lilies in their arms, Claudia and Remus arrived back at the manor, only to walk inside, set the flowers down and realise that no one was in the house.
They shared a weary look, until they heard Sirius laughing incredibly loudly outside, which was what caused them to discover the entire large group of people sitting outside, eating ice cream and chatting away.
The two smiled at one another, and Remus took Claudia's hand to lead her outside, only for her to hold him back.
"What?" He asked her.
"Wanna go back to the village?" She asked with a small smile.
Truth be told, Claudia was asking this because she knew that they didn't have much alone time left. You see, every night they normally had dinner with everyone, or at least with the boys or Hope and Lyall, so Claudia felt that she could sit that one out, and instead go somewhere with Remus.
Alone.
Because there simply hadn't been enough time to be with him alone. Not by any measure.
He nodded, "Sure. Where are we gonna go?"
She shrugged, "Let's just go somewhere."
And so, they left, hearing the happy voices of their family drown out in the distance as they apparated away and landed quite nearby the village, but far away enough to ensure that they weren't seen by any muggles.
Walking past the place that used to be the bookstore that Alvin, the man her father had killed right where she walked, Claudia felt her stomach churn a bit. But, it was nice to see that the old store was now some sort of mix between a bookstore and a coffeeshop.
"Let's go in here," Claudia said in a rather intrigued tone as she led him inside and found the store looking almost like it used to, just a little more appropriate for a coffeeshop to be right in the center of it.
"Want some ice cream?" Remus asked Claudia, who immediately nodded eagerly in response.
"And I could really use some coffee as well," she said.
"Even if it's the hottest day ever?"
"Even if it's the hottest day every," Claudia nodded, following after him as they walked towards the register to pay and order what they wanted, only to be completely bewildered since the old lady in front of them looked incredibly familiar.
"Excuse me," Claudia said politely to the old lady who was waiting for the two to say something. "But have I met you before? You look oddly familiar."
The old lady took in Claudia's appearance for a moment, and then she smiled a little, "I'm Jo."
"Jo...?"
"You're the sweet kids I helped when our village was attacked, right?" Jo questioned. "Along with an older man? I believe you were friends of Alvin's? And I showed you my library?"
"Oh," Claudia said, smiling happily at Jo, whose full name was Josephine, just like in Little Women. "How great it is to see you again!"
"Sure is!" Josephine agreed. "So, what brings you two here?"
"Our friend lives nearby," Remus answered with a smile that matched the others. "We just came for some ice cream."
"Well, that I can help you with!" Josephine assured. "Do you want anything else?"
"Uh, yes, actually," said Claudia. "We'd quite like some coffee, please."
"Two cups?
"Two cups."
"Any sugar, or-"
"Black coffee, please," Claudia smiled.
As Josephine made their coffees and scooped their ice cream, the three all got to talking.
Apparently, after Alvin's death, Josephine had immediately jumped to trying to restore his book store as much as possible, and then she combined it with a coffeeshop. The old lady was friends with Alvin, you see, and he would've definitely loved what his precious store had turned into.
Claudia and Remus payed for their coffees and ice creams, and then they said goodbye to Josephine only to then sit down outside on one of the tables, where they ate and talked just like they always did.
However, something was different in the air. They could both agree on that. But, it was not the same thing that caused them to feel as if something had changed.
You see, as always, Claudia thought about making every moment left with Remus count. She thought about the way he spoke, the way his eyes looked when he smiled and the way the sun looked when it shined on his skin.
But Remus, he felt the most adult he had in a while. He didn't really know what it was; wether it was the fact that they were walking around without company or the fact that Claudia was wearing the most gorgeous summer dress that only made him want to constantly kiss her as he wore a nice blue shirt that made him feel older than he really was.
Or, maybe it was the fact that their best friends were getting married or that they weren't going to go back to Hogwarts in a month for the first time.
Now, they were adults. They could do whatever they wanted.
And what did Remus want?
Well, he wanted to marry Claudia, to put it plainly.
They were just strolling around in the sun, hand in hand, as Remus stopped and sat down on a normal park bench so that he could tie his shoelaces. Claudia sat down next to him as he did so, and nothing was out of the ordinary.
He finished tying his shoelaces, and then he looked up at the most beautiful girl he knew as she simply sat there.
And nothing was out of the ordinary.
And that, well, was what caused them both to wonder why he said what he said next.
"Marry me."
Claudia looked at him as she failed to process or even understand his words.
"What?" She asked in a strangely weak and raspy voice.
"Marry me," he repeated as he looked at her with those completely dazed eyes he always got when she was the one he was looking at.
Claudia chuckled, "Remus..."
"Claudia..." Remus smiled. "Marry me."
"I..."
"Don't worry, love. I'm not saying 'marry me' as in 'marry me right now'. I'm just saying marry me. Next week or in fifty years. I don't care. Just marry me."
"Remus," she chuckled nervously again.
"Marry me."
Claudia smiled as it felt as if someone was stabbing her over and over again in the chest.
But she couldn't let him see through her. Not this time.
"It would be a pleasure," she smiled, leaning her head on his shoulder so that he wouldn't be able to look into her eyes and realise that she was hurting as much as she was by the mention of those two words that she had wanted to hear so badly before, but now hated to hear instead.
"Is that a yes?"
"Ask me again in the future," she whispered as tears formed in her eyes. Ones that he couldn't see of course, but still.
"When in the future?"
"When it's all over."
Now, Remus believed that she meant when the wedding between James and Lily was over. But, Claudia didn't even know what she meant.
Maybe she just needed an answer; maybe she believed that there could be a day somewhere in the future, far, far away when she could say yes.
"I love you," Claudia whispered, just to let him know.
"I love you," Remus said, wrapping an arm around her and kissing her on the temple. "You know what I forgot?"
"What?"
"I was going to get you flowers when we got the lilies for James, but I forgot. How about you wait here for me to come back?"
"Remus, you don't have to-"
"If I don't get you flowers today, I'll be very disappointed in myself," he chuckled as he stood up. "I'll be right back!"
And so, Remus left.
And that's when Claudia fell apart.
Oh, how she wanted to say yes immediately. She even found herself having to hold herself back from saying yes. She wanted to marry him so bad that it hurt.
But she couldn't.
Because in just two months, she was going to marry someone else.
She had gotten accustomed to crying silently, but she didn't wish to sit still there with her face all red and puffy in case he would come back as quickly as he had left. So, glancing just to the side, Claudia felt suddenly relived to spot the graveyard where just the person she needed was buried.
She knew that she had to talk to her mum.
So, she got on her heels and walked inside the cold and grey place; all the way to her mother's grave, where she knelt down and leaned her forehead against the top as if she could feel her close to her again. As if she was a little girl sitting in her lap again. As if she was being kissed gently on the spot where it hurt again.
As if it would make things better.
"How am I supposed to do this any longer, mum?" She asked in a broken whisper. "I can't do this anymore."
Of course, Claudia didn't receive a response. And the sad thing was that that wasn't even what hurt the most.
Everything just hurt. Everything. And Claudia didn't know how to make it stop.
She had no one to talk to. No one to help her through it. All she had was a boy she was too afraid to tell the truth to because it could lead to horrible things, a tombstone and herself.
And it seemed, just for a while, that Claudia Maple maybe was bound to be all alone.
But then, the strangest of things happened. As she knelt down by the grave and cried and asked for help without receiving any, a weird tingly feeling came over her hand.
And Claudia looked up, only to find a butterfly sitting on her index finger; it's wings fluttering so much that it was like it was trying to cheer her up.
Her mum had always loved butterflies, she realised. And even if that seemed impossible; Claudia knew that her mum was around.
And, if there was one person Claudia would've asked for help in any situation, it would be her mum.
And maybe that was her way of telling Claudia that everything was going to be alright, and that she just had to hang on.
That all she had to do was hang on.
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a/n: the name of the sequel is in this chapter...any guesses?
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