I ponder of something great...

...My lungs will fill, and then deflate. They fill with fire, exhale desire...

...I know its dire my time today...

"You killed them," I mumbled, my breaths random and loud, my arms weak as I drove down the familiar roads, "I-I killed them..."

I have these thoughts so often I ought to replace that slot with what I once bought, Cause someone stole my car radio so now I just sit...

"How long has it been? Fourteen years? Fifteen? Yea, Sixteen..." I thought out loud, playing with the radio that never played any music, just the fuzzy sound of static.

...In silence...

I continued down the road, there was no other car in sight, I could go as slow as I wanted to, it gave me room to breath, tears trickled down my face.

Sometimes quiet is violent I find it hard to hide it My pride is no longer inside...

...It's on my sleeve, My skin will scream, Reminding me of Who I killed inside my dream...

...I hate this car that I'm driving...

"I'm Insane. I'm Insane. I'm Insane!" I chanted, memories stained in blood and death always in my mind.

...There's no hiding for me...

I swiped open my phone, the screen wasn't them, It was the family that was now my new life.

I'm forced to deal with what I feel, there is no distraction to mask what is real...

My loving husband, Reiner, kneeling down with my three year old son, Ezekiel...

....I could pull the steering wheel...

My hands began sliding the wheel towards a tree, until I snapped back into reality.

I have these thoughts so often I ought to replace that slot with what I once bought, Cause someone stole my car radio so now I just sit...

I then looked down at the gun, It was my Husband of two years, he was a police officer...Ironic how a murdering fiend like me, would marry someone who keeps people, like me, off the streets.

...In silence...

My hand slowly reached for that gun, and slowly lifted it to my head...

I ponder of something terrifying
'Cause this time there's no sound to hide behind I find over the course of our human existence One thing consists of consistence...

...And pulled the trigger...

...And it's that we're all battling fear

"Shit," I said, "I forgot to grab ammo..."

Oh dear, I don't know if we know why we're here

I tossed the gun to the seats behind me, and continue down the road.

Oh my,

"Hey Levi~" I remember purring, slowly beginning to descend down the stairs.

Too deep

"G-Get away from us!" Levi snapped, holding Sarah, and Sabrina in fear of me.

Please stop thinking...

"I guess I'll keep driving," I simply decided, driving into a all too familiar neighborhood.

...I liked it better when my car had sound

My phone began ringing, I put my car to a sudden stop, and picked up.

There are things we can do, But from the things that work there are only two And from the two that we choose to do...

"Hey Reiner," I lightly smiled.

...Peace will win...

"I just picked up Ezekiel from daycare, when will you be home?" Your husband asked, you could here Ezekiel's innocent laughter in the background.

...And fear will lose

"I don't know..." You paused, and looked around at your surroundings, then up at the gloomy sky, "There is bad traffic."

There's faith...And there's sleep

You looked out the window, the only cars you could see were in the driveways of the suburban houses.

We need to pick one please because; Faith is to be awake

"Just be home soon," Reiner laughed from the other line, "Sorry 'Ezek is singing while he has the hiccups, want me to send you a video?"

"I'm fine, Honey," you said, your smile now a gloomy frown.

And to be awake is for us to think

"I love you-" Reiner said, before you hung up...

...Was Levi, Sarah, and Sabrina ever this boring?

And for us to think is to be alive...

You finally reached your destination, a house that wasn't yours...

And I will try with every rhyme

But was yours around fifteen years ago...

To come across like I am dying
To let you know you need to try to think

You stopped your car, and hopped out of it, and slowly walked to the back of the car, your high heels from your office uniform clicked against the driveway.

I have these thoughts so often I ought to replace that slot with what I once bought, Cause someone stole my car radio so now I just sit...

I then opened the trunk, and grabbed a rather frayed rope, which itched my sweaty palms, and a slightly big cardboard box.

...in silence

I didn't even bother closing the trunk, but as I walked slowly away from my car, and to the front door of the house, I had one last look at the back seats of my mini-van; Which had Ezekiel's green carseat, which the gun landed.

And now I just sit in silence, And now I just sit in silence

...And now I just sit

The unlocked house was once the crimescene of a murder, of a man and his two young twin daughters...

There names were Levi, Sabrina, and Sarah Ackerman...

There mother? (Y/N) Ackerman, whose was put into a Insane asylum for ten years, she has been free for six years, and is now re-married with a young son.

And now I just sit in silence, And now I just sit in silence, And now I just sit in silence

...And now I just sit

I looked up at the dining room of the abandon house, which I remembered always had a pole going horizontal above where a dining room table once was.

I placed the cardboard box directly under the pole, and stood up on it, then tied the rope to the pole, and made another knot, and put my head in the hole of the knot.

I ponder of something great...

...My lungs will fill, and then deflate. They fill with fire, exhale desire...

...I know its dire my time today...

Slowly, I readjusted the hole to squeeze my neck, and knocked the cardboard box from under my feet.

"I'll see you on the other side..." I barely whispered, oxygen quickly escaping from my shaking body.

I have these thoughts so often I ought to replace that slot with what I once bought, Cause someone stole my car radio so now I just sit...

"Sarah...Sabrina...Levi..."

...in silence