"What's up everyone! It's J hope here with RM and Agust D. We're here at U of Seoul about to do our soundcheck and rehearse for the end of the year concert and we are super excited...."

Namjoon is wedged between Yoongi and Hoseok after arriving at the venue on the day of the big show. Other artists and performers buzz about backstage as the stage crew and campus employees ready the stage.

His mind is sharp, his adrenaline high. He'd been looking forward to this show for some time and now that the day was finally here, Namjoon thought there couldn't possibly be anything that would put a damper on his mood.

At least he thought.

The three flash their coolest smiles and poses to close out the video and Namjoon tenses when he feels Yoongis shoulder brush against him as he leaned into the frame.

"....We look forward to seeing everyone tonight. RM, Agust D, and myself.Fighting!"

Yoongi and Hoseok bare a fist to the camera but Namjoon keeps his hands at his side, choosing to sport his signature thin-lipped dimpled grin only until the recording ends.

Hoseok drops his hand and taps at the screen to post the video to his various social media accounts as he walked away, leaving Namjoon and Yoongi standing awkwardly.

He glances at Yoongi from the corner of his eye as he pulls out his phone to scroll mindlessly.

His dusted minty blue hair was no more, replaced with bleach blonde locks that laid straight and pushed back underneath his black snapback.

He glances up at Namjoon, most likely having felt his stare, and pays him with an expression so smug and unfazed, that it took everything in Namjoon to resist the urge to slap the device out of his hand.

"You good?" Yoongi asks, lifting a brow.

After a moment Namjoon nods to play it off.

"A little nervous I guess..."

Yoongi smirks.

"It's cool. I can relate. I was nervous when I was a headliner too. I used to drink so much to cope with the nerves. But over time I just learned to channel that energy and let it out on the stage." Yoongi says casually as he returned his attention to his phone.

Namjoon clenched his jaw at the advice, finding it ironic that someone with such a violent past could have anything worth suggesting when it comes to channeling their energy.

The thought of him even looking at you the wrong way had Namjoons blood boiling and at that moment he realized it was time to take a step away before he did or said something he'd regret.

He looks up in time to see Mia walking by with two other female vocalists, talking amongst themselves casually.

Their eyes meet and Mia arches a brow as she swayed her hips, her heels clicking as the three pass.

Of course, she weaseled her way on the setlist, being a feature on one of their songs. He wasn't a fan of the idea but he had no reason to object.
Plus he didn't want to give her the satisfaction of being affected by her presence.

Namjoon breaks their stare and shifts his gaze in a different direction, earning an arrogant sneer from her as she continued on her way.

After she's out of view, he sighs, turning on his heels towards the exit leading out to the back of the building, facing the rear parking lot.

"Hey!... We're gonna do the soundcheck in a few minutes. Where are you going?" Hoseok lifts his head when he hears the click of the door.
Yoongi turns at the sound as well.

"I'll be right back. Just gonna make a call." Namjoon calls over his shoulder before letting the door close behind him.

The evening breeze had a pleasant chill to it, countering the spring/summer heat perfectly and Namjoon takes a moment to just breathe.

Taking out his phone, he dials up a number and places the device to his ear.

As expected, it rings a few times and goes to voicemail.

"Record your message in the tone"

*beeeep*

"Hey...Song? It's me...."

He takes a deep breath.

".....Look I know things are really tense between us....and I know I've kind of been a shitty boyfriend these past few days....and I know I left you hanging when you needed me. And I'm sorry. I even understand why you probably feel like coming to the show wouldn't be a great thing for you...But...."

Namjoon pauses, looking up at the dusky skies above.

".... I need you here. I know it's selfish but...I hope you still plan on coming."

He anxiously begins to pace on the ramp as he put his thoughts together.

"...you probably already know where it is but I'm gonna text you the address anyway. Just use the badge I gave you and it'll get you backstage. I promise...no one and I do mean NO ONE will bother you."

Namjoons jaw tensed as his mind mulled over how he could keep you away from your ex at a show he was in, and he couldn't help but chuckle sardonically at the cruel irony.

It still wouldn't stop him from trying though.

"I know it's only been a few days but...I miss you. And I....."

*Beeeeeep*

Namjoon curses when your answering machine cuts him off, letting him know he'd exceeded the time limit.

He hangs up the phone and braces his hands on the metal railing of the ramp leading to the venue's parking lot.

Who was he kidding?

He wouldn't blame you if you didn't come.
Especially after the way he treated you.

But he knew walking away was the only way he knew how to get a hold of his emotions and come to terms with reality.

And the reality was...

Knowing the truth about your past and the man behind the abuse infuriated him.

And the fact that he was angry told him something about himself that he couldn't deny any longer.

He was officially in love with you.

And that scared the shit out of him.

Namjoon puffs his lips out as he exhaled, pulling up your recent text messages and tapping out a quick message before locking his screen and heading back inside.

Traffic was moderate as you were on your way to the University.

You fumbled with your lip gloss and hurriedly applied a coat as you steered with your knees, keeping the car straight until you were done primping.

Namjoons show started in 15 minutes and although you knew he was most likely to perform last, you still felt horrible for being late.

You had a good reason.
It took you 3 hours to convince yourself to leave the house.

Half obsessing over what to wear and pushing back the anxiety of possibly running into Yoongi.

Despite the tension, you wanted nothing more than to be there for Namjoon tonight and yes you were not thrilled about him sharing the stage with someone from your past.

But you couldn't keep giving Yoongi the power to hold you back from what you wanted.

From who you wanted.

So you threw on your cutest top, jeans, and the converse sneakers that Namjoon loved you in the most and rushed out of your building.

The crowd erupts in a frenzy of claps and cheers as the chord faded out, giving the performers the chance to bow gratefully to the audience.

Namjoons anxiety is at its peak as he watches them exit the stage, walking through a smaller barrage of the clapping stage crew and other artists.

He cranes his neck to catch a glimpse of the crowd, trying miserably to scan the faces, hoping to see the one he needed the most.

Yours.

But it would be impossible considering the lighting, so he sighs and turns away to head further backstage.

Hoseok and Yoongi were lingering nearby, each getting in their zones mentally as their turn to perform drew near.

Namjoon looks around anxiously as he approached them, hoping that maybe you were somehow amidst the chaos backstage.

"What's up?" Hoseok looks over and arches a brow at Namjoons questionable behavior.

He responds only by shaking his head, which continued on its swivel as he searched for you.

He pats his pockets.

"I gotta check my phone. I'll be back." Namjoon murmurs to Hoseok as he pushed past him.

"But we go on soon..." he calls after him with worry.

"I know, I'll be quick, "Namjoon reassures him before disappearing.

He rushes into the trio's small shared dressing room and goes straight to his backpack sitting against the mirror. He unpacks it quickly and distractedly in search of his phone.

He finds it and curses under his breath when he discovers it's dead.

Namjoon rummages through his cluttered bag again in search of his charger.

The dressing room door opens quietly and shuts with a soft click.

"I'm coming! Just looking for my charger..." he mumbles.

"You always were so unorganized.." a feminine voice chuckled behind him, making him freeze.

He abruptly turns at the sound and frowns when his eyes settle on the woman with the mischievous red-lipped grin as she leaned against the door.

"Hey Monster...."

Meanwhile...

You weave through the crowd as people filed into the venue, flashing your badge at the men at the door to let you through.

You were thankful Namjoon left your pass at your apartment days in advance, otherwise, you would have been trapped in the winding line wrapped around the corner of the building.

"Um hi, could you tell me where Nam is? I mean RM's dressing room is?" You lift the guest badge hanging around your neck.

The stagehand squints to read it as he struggled with the heavy sound equipment in his arms. He nods and tilts his head to point you in the direction of where the artists were lounging and you thanked him before turning down the corridor.

Namjoon rolls his eyes at the sight of her, turning his back to continue threading out his long white power chord.

"What Mia.."

"Oh my god, I wish you would stop being so dry towards me. I thought we made peace the last time we talked.." Mia steps forward slowly.

"The last time we talked you had broken into my apartment, shoved a bogus ass ultrasound picture in my face trying to convince me it was mine then tried to jump my bones..." Namjoon mumbles as he plugs the adapter into the wall.

"Bogus?" Mia sounds vaguely offended and Namjoon sighs.

"What do you want Mia?" Namjoon plugs the chord into his phone and stares at the black screen patiently.

Mia walks boldly up to Namjoon and yanks his shoulder back.
He lifts his brows in surprise to see the vulnerability in her face, not a trace of sarcasm or mischief in her expression.

"I want you to stop ignoring me!" She pouts.

Namjoon frowns, looking towards the door and then back at her as he contemplated.

"Say what you have to say, Mia, then after this we're done." Namjoon sets his phone down to charge.

Mia stares up at him and then exhales heavily.

"Look...I know things were fucked up when we ended. I was fucked up...but You cant stand there and tell me that you don't think about what we had....that you don't think about me..."

Mia lifts her hand to touch Namjoons arm and stiffens, regarding her with serious eyes and a furrowed brow.

"I can and I will...Mia, what we had...was fun. Wild. Crazy. We probably in some twisted way loved each other. There was a time when I probably would have done anything for you. But what we had wasn't healthy...."

Mia's soft expression cracks at Namjoons gentle but non-subtle rejection.

"It was toxic and so were we. Your leaving was probably the best thing to happen to both of us and I've even sought help to be better despite it. But It's over now. And it's time for you to accept that I've moved on.." Namjoon turns away to repack his backpack and Mia scoffs.

"Prove it."

"What?" Namjoon huffs.

Mia pushes at his shoulder to get him to face her again.

"Kiss me right now then tell me you feel nothing." She challenged.

"You're joking right?" Namjoon smirks at her audacity.

Classic Mia.

"Does it look like I'm joking?" Mia steps closer, pressing her chest against Namjoons abruptly, pushing him up against the vanity counter.

You walk briskly, brushing past some people and apologizing for being in the way as you scanned the names on each door you passed.

You hadn't realized how many other artists were performing at the show tonight, and you hoped that you could get to Namjoon before he went on.

You pulled out your phone to send him a text.

"Hey, Joonie...I'm backstage...where are you?"

*send*

Boldly, Mia reaches up and presses her lips firmly against Namjoons, and he tenses.

"Mia..." he tries to turn away but his head is stopped by Mia's firm hand. She placed quick nips at his jawbone and neck, traveling down as her other hand runs down the front of his body and brushed against the crotch of his shorts.

A low groan is caught in his throat when Mia expertly strokes his thick member, knowing exactly how to activate him.

"See...your body still has feelings..." her red lips murmur against his skin.

Namjoon pants heavily as she continued to knead his dick shamelessly.

"Mia..st..stop.." he clenches his jaw, trying to gain control over his body's natural reaction to a woman's touch.

"Why?" Mia whispers, swiping her tongue over his skin some more.

"Because...I have.." he stammers, finding it difficult to speak when Mia twists her wrist and fully wraps her fingers around his clothed thickness.

He hisses as he slowly grew harder and harder under her touch.
He wanted to stop her.
He needed to stop her.

It felt good, and Mia always knew exactly how to touch him.

But thoughts of you rush in and bring him back to the now.

"..you have a what? A girlfriend?" Mia chuckles sarcastically against his skin until she's choked out underneath Namjoons thick grasp.

Her eyes snap up to his and she smirks when he applies pressure to her throat.

A tiny moan escapes her at his aggressive touch and his agitation grows.

"I'm not fucking around Mia..." he growls, his large hand encircling her tiny neck.

"Why not? No one is around...just chill. We used to do this before your shows all the time remember? It'd be just like old times baby...." she bites her lip and Namjoon jerks her head back and applies more pressure.

She gasps at the force and flutters her eyelids in surprise. After she steadies herself, she narrows her eyes.

" Careful Monster....don't wanna make a scene with all these people here...." a sinister chuckle huffs out of her constricted trachea after feeble threat and Namjoon only squeezes harder.

"...Step off Mia. Or...." he growls, his voice dropping to a frightening octave.

"Or what?" She rasps.

Namjoons eyes deaden, the pupils shrinking and squaring in to focus on Mia's taunting gaze, which begins to falter when she feels Namjoon pulling her close to his face.

Mia's heart drops and her pulse quickens when the familiar feeling of fear and arousal dances all over her body.

Her smirk widens and she arches her wicked brow.

"There he is..." she whispers.

Both of their eyes cut to the door as the knob turned and swung open.

And there you stood.
Frozen.

Mouth agape and eyes are wide at the sight of Namjoon and Mia.

Their bodies pressed together suggestively.

His hands were at her throat and waist.

Her hands were at his chest and wrapped around his dick.

Red lipstick stained his lips, jaw, and tattooed neck.

At first, you felt nothing, wanting to believe what you were seeing was just a figment of your imagination.

A mirage or an illusion.

But as your wounded heart thudded in your chest, and your eyes took in the position Namjoon was in...

You knew what you were looking at was real.

Wordlessly you pull the door shut, willing the tears from falling as your hand trembled against the door nob.

You turned quickly and walked quickly in the direction you came, bumping into musicians and staff as you wiped away the tears blurring your vision.

Namjoon unhands Mia, shoving her away abruptly as he lunged for the door to follow you.

As he opens it, He's face to face with a very confused Yoongi caught in mid-reach for the doorknob.

"Oh..um...we go on next. In like 5 minutes...Hoseok sent me to.....you've got some shit on your face man.." Yoongi pauses and squints when he spots the res lip-stain beside Namjoons lips.

He pays Yoongi no mind as he spots you maneuvering up the crowded hall.

Namjoon darts out of the dressing room to follow you, leaving the door open enough for Yoongi to see Mia standing there awkwardly rubbing her neck.

He frowns at her and is about to ask what happened when his eyes are caught by the colorful cover of Namjoons notebook sitting on top of his open backpack.

"Song...SONG.." Namjoon yells after you when you reach the parking lot, but you ignore him as you walked purposefully across the pavement.

"Song...please I can explain.." he says from behind you.

"Explain what Joon?" You huff, fumbling with your keys in the dark and wiping your tearful eyes.

"Just listen for a second..." you can hear his footsteps getting closer, so you pick up your pace as you searched for your car.

"...stupid. stupid....so fucking stupid.." you mumble to yourself as you reach the parked vehicle. Just as you pull the door back, Namjoon is suddenly at your side pushing it shut.

"Baby..please.." he says, out of breath from running.

"Move Namjoon.." you sniff, refusing to look him in the face.

"I swear...what you saw was not what it looked like at all..." he continues with a pleading voice.

"Let go Namjoon.." you tugged at your handle but couldn't get past Namjoons weight against the door.

"But if you would just listen to me.." he starts again and you lose your patience.

"I said LET GO!" You shove his chest as hard as you could and quickly open your door when he stumbles back and slide into the driver's seat.

You lock the door and put the key in the ignition and turn it.

"Song please don't do this. Please hear me out!" Namjoon begs, his hands placed flat against the window.

You resisted the urge to look at him, knowing the sight of his pleading eyes would break your already shattering heart even more.

You keep your eyes in front as you switched gears and begin to slowly back out of the space.

You expected Namjoon to take the hint and move away, but he only followed the motion of the car as he continued to tap the glass of your window.

"Please Baby...I'm begging please just listen to me..." his deep voice broke with emotion as you pulled out the spot completely.

You tapped your brake to switch back into drive, blinking away more tears as you eased off of the pedal to drive away, resisting the urge to look into your side view mirror.

Knowing you'd see Namjoon standing there, watching you drive away.