You stare at Namjoon wide-eyed and speechless.

"Be..your girlfriend?" You stutter.

Namjoon nods nervously and looks at you with glassy expectant eyes.

"Like..you and me. In a relationship. Together."

You scoot back to put some distance between you and him. Namjoons gaze drizzles down your body and you're reminded of your nudity. You snatch a throw pillow from the floor and clutch it against your chest, drawing your legs up to cradle it.

"I...well yeah" Namjoon replies, unbothered by his nudity and not even bothering to cover himself.  His only focus was you and your answer.

"Namjoon...we...I don't know." You shake your head in confusion.

"Hear me out, ok?" Namjoon suddenly leans over to slide closer to your end of the couch. One foot rested on the floor while the other was tucked under his leg.

"I know I said that we could take this slow. And I still want to. But the thought of anyone else...." He pauses to look down towards your bare legs wrapped around the pillow. He takes his hands and runs them  up to your thighs, pressing them down, and stopping just before the folds of your lap. He brushes his thumbs against your skin intimately and then looks you in the eyes.

"I would just like to be the only one who makes you feel good. Not just in a sexual sense. All around. Because Song....you make me feel everything" his eyebrows lift to emphasize his words.

Your heart is pounding and a dull ache thrums within it. When your bottom lip slips in between your teeth, Namjoon can't help himself. He leans in and brushes the tip of his nose against yours.

Instinctively you tilt up to meet his lips with your own. Kissing him wasn't an answer and he knew that, but it felt right. His lips move against yours carefully and you sigh against him then pull back.

An expression of confusion and hurt flashes across Namjoons face.

"But...you don't feel the same..." he says lowly.
Truth is, you don't know what you felt.

"Namjoon.." you sigh. Words fail you as you look into his sad eyes desperately. As if he could tell you what to say.

"I see." He says, leaning away from you.

No no no

"I'm not saying no Namjoon...I just... there's so much that we don't know about each other. And to be honest I'm kind of afraid of...My past is..well it's complicated."

You look down at the pillow, loosening your grip on it and no longer feeling as self-conscious.

"And I don't want that to taint what we have. I like this..how we are." You finish, reaching to grab Namjoons's hand.

He takes yours welcomingly and pulls you closer. The pillow falls from your lap and he swats it to the floor, making you giggle.

"I want to know everything about you Song. Everything. I doubt there's anything you could tell me that would change how I feel about you right now." Namjoon says genuinely.

You weren't sure, but something in the way Namjoon spoke just now was setting you on fire inside. The heat begins seeping through your pores and pooling at the center of your pleasure zone.

You wanted him in every sense of the word.

Yes, You were terrified.

But the look in his eyes and the warmth of his touch was giving you a sense of security that no one had ever given you.

A sudden swell of courage compels  you to stand from the couch and pull Namjoon up with you.

His wide sculpted body towers over your as he gazes down at you will affectionate eyes.

"I want to tell you everything.....but right now, I'm done talking" you gaze up at him darkly.
Following your lead, Namjoon smirks as he pads behind you into your bedroom.

After two hours, you both finally come up for air. Panting and slicked with sex sweat, Namjoon falls against the mattress. You laid beside him dazed  but oddly energized. You didn't have another round in you, but you were sure that you couldn't sleep.

Minutes pass and you sit up to lean against your padded headboard. The large window by your bed allowed the blue glow of night to illuminate your darkroom. Namjoon was silent but very much awake as he tilted his head to watch you.

Feeling his stare, you steal your gaze from the night sky to look down at your bed mate.

"You're so beautiful " Namjoon breathes.

"So are you " you respond immediately.

A sad smile tugs at the corners of Namjoons mouth and he sighs, making you frown.

"What?" You tilt your head.

"Nothing. So tell me." Namjoon leans upon his elbow, his chest muscles tense and flexing with his movements.

"Tell you?" You huff.

"Everything. I want to know about you. Everything there is to know. What makes you laugh. What makes you cry. Your favorite books and movies. Favorite ice cream flavor and how you like your coffee. What you're so afraid of and why you won't let me love you.." Namjoon rattles off.

You pause when the word love rolls off of his tongue,

"Love..me?" You choke.

"Yes...would it be so bad? For me to love you?" Namjoon looks at you seriously.

"I...didn't know we were there yet." You blush.

"Didn't say we were. But that's usually what comes next right?" Namjoon says almost nervously and you can't help but giggle. His body relaxes at the sound and he rolls his eyes.

"I just want to know you Song. We don't have to get deep if you don't want... never mind." Namjoon sighs and lays his head back against the pillows and closes his eyes.
You look over him, biting your lip anxiously.
Would it be so bad for him to know you?

Hesitantly, you crawl closer to Namjoons still form. The sudden weight shift on his side of the mattress alerts him to open his eyes. You sit cross-legged next to him with a large white pillow on your lap, effectively covering your nudity. If you were going to open up, you wanted his full attention. You knew you weren't very good at this part, but you wanted him to know that you cared, and sharing yourself beyond the physical was what he was asking
of you.

So you began.

"My parents? Dad died when I was 7. Car accident. Mom couldnt cope so my aunt and uncles raised me from then on. My favorite color is green.."

You blush internally when images of Namjoon's perfect body smeared in forest green and gold cross your mind. You bite your bottom lip shyly before shooing it away.

"But ....you already knew that....uhmmm I graduated top of my class in high school and went to college young. I like scary movies and science fiction novels."

Namjoon smiles warmly as you spit out random facts about yourself.

"I've only been in one real relationship and it...." you pause. Namjoon sits quietly and looks at you patiently.

You take a deep breath before continuing.

"It ended badly. There was some abuse. More than some..."

Namjoon stills at your words and you look towards your lap nervously.

"So yeah.. there's that. Uhm..and my favorite ice cream flavor is strawberry " you clasp your hands together in closing.

Namjoon regards you passively and you avoid looking him in the eye.

"So that's it. Ok?" You say, your tone thinly coated in relief.

Namjoon narrows his eyes at you before sighing.

"Ok." He says.

And with that he understood.

Reaching to pull the covers back, Namjoon opens his arms to invite you to nuzzle next to him. You do so happily, relieved to not be under his scrutinizing gaze any longer.

You lay your head against his chest and stare across the darkroom.

His breathing matches your own as you begin to relax, sleep not too far from you.

Namjoon rests his chin on your head and reaches around you to run his long fingers up your spine.

"You don't have to be afraid of me Song......I'd never do anything to harm you. And I mean that." Namjoon hums over your head.

"Ok" you murmur against his chest.

"Seriously...I would never. " Namjoons tone changes slightly.

"....ok," you say.

Namjoon leans back to look you in the face.

"Ok?..." he asks for reassurance that you understood his words.

"Yes Namjoon" you sigh. The day and all of its orgasms begin to catch up with you as you cuddled closer to Namjoons smooth, hard, warm body.

You sit in silence, accompanied by the occasional honking horn or chatter from the people on the street outside of your apartment.

"Joon..." you murmur.

"Hmm?" He hums.

"I wouldn't mind being yours.....I'm just.."

Namjoon hushes you and tightens his hold on your body, pulling you into him.

"I understand. We have time. Sleep" Namjoon pats your back and cradles you until both of you are drifting.