**a/n: for an enhanced experience, listen to "Forever Rain" softly while reading this chapter :)**

Dark navy blue paint dripped from the brush as Namjoon stood in front of the tall blank canvas.

He stared into the nothingness for what seemed like hours. But he just couldn't bring himself to move. His limbs felt like they were weighted and plummeting to the ocean's floor, his heart is the stone pulling him into the abyss.

The water's surface drifted further away and the longer he stared at the dissolving sky and rippled sun, the longer he went without her...

..the deeper he sunk.

A knock at his door pulls him from his trance but he doesn't acknowledge it, choosing to lift the brush to splatter the dark hue and smear it around the long wall-sized sheet of paper.

Seokjin poked his head in after knocking again, frowning at the darkness filling the loft.

It was early evening but a stormy overcast settled over Seoul, further setting the mood for Namjoons state.

The soft pattering of raindrops against the glass ceiling and wall echoed in the drab apartment as Namjoons paints in silence with Seokjin slowly approaching.

"Namjoon? Something wrong with the lights up here?" He says as he squints.

"No." He says dryly.

*splat*

More paint drizzles down the wall.

Seokjin wasn't new to this. He's known Namjoon long enough to recognize the signs of a depressive phase, but it didn't mean he would tiptoe around him.

"Well...I was just coming to congratulate you on the success of that show a few weeks back. Seems like you guys ended up having great chemistry after all...."

*SPLAT*

Namjoon doesn't respond, kneeling to dip his brush on the pallet.

Seokjin clears the apprehension from his throat and takes a few steps forward.

"...business has picked up since more people found out about your residency and Hoseok has even inquired about a weekly slot here. I wanted to get your opinion..."

Namjoon shrugs.

"What does it matter what I think? It's your club." He splats the brush against the white again and smears more paint across the wall.

Seokjin frowns.

"I value your opinion Namjoon. And sure this is my club but in many ways, it's yours too...I think of you as a partner."

"Partner?" Namjoon snorts, his back still to the older as he painted.

He walks over the tarp spread out beneath him, his bare feet sticking to the plastic as he went to open another bottle of paint.

"Yes." Seokjin folds his arms over his chest.

Namjoon flips back the cap and squirts the black paint onto his pallet then tosses the wrinkled tube aside, shaking his head.

"No...I'm not your partner Hyung.....I'm your ward...your tenant...your charity case that turned out to be beneficial..."

*splat*

"That's ridiculous." Seokjin scoffs and Namjoon continues to paint.

"Is it?" He sniffs, scratching his nose with the back of his wrist as he glanced at the stained wall.

Seokjin narrows his eyes, his patience wearing thin.

"You know what? I'm gonna say something then I going to leave so you can ponder it.....and whether or not you take heed to it, is your choice." Seokjin barks with a hint of authority in his voice.

Any other time, Namjoon would have caught on to Seokjin's tone and stopped what he was doing. He respected him that much.

But right now, Namjoon just didn't have it in him. Instead, he continued to swipe thick streaks of black back and forth.

"Namjoon...can you stop doing that and look at me for a second....." Seokjin snaps after a beat, his tone more menacing than before and Namjoon finally takes notice.

He sighs heavily and bends to drop his brush in the can of water nearby, dusting his hands together as he turns.

"Sure thing Boss!" Namjoon says sarcastically and folds his arms over his chest, mirroring Seokjins stance.

"Now I know something happened with you and Song...and I sympathize, I do...."

"But regardless of what you're dealing with right now...I think it's time for you to stop wallowing in it...There's a whole world out there that is excited about your talent and what you can do. Hell, I'm ecstatic for you...."

"...But this?" Seokjin gestures towards the condition of Namjoons loft.

Laundry scattered about, dishes filling the sink, his bed completely unmade, discarded art supplies laying around...

"...this isn't healthy. You need to get it together.." Seokjin finishes.

Namjoon stood motionless through the entire lecture, his face smooth with boredom.

"Whatever you say...Hyung." Namjoon then turns to venture back towards his painting, effectively ending the conversation.

Seokjin sighs as he turns to leave.
He knew Namjoon long enough to know that he was only speaking from hurt and to take it with a grain of salt. Sarcasm was only a coping mechanism.

He reaches to pull the already open door and jumps with surprise when someone comes stumbling in, their hand on the adjoining knob.

"Oh!... I'm sorry...I didn't think.." you yelp with wide eyes when you were met by Seokjin's startled yet handsome face.

A sense of relief washes over him when he realizes it's you and he grabs your wrist abruptly.

"Get in here now!" Seokjin pulls you in, not even reacting to your appearance as he ushered you further into the room.

You stumbled forward, eyes locking on the depressing display of artistic expression before you, and gulp.

"Namjoonah! Visitor!" Seokjin yells from the door, just a few feet behind you.

"Tell them to fuck off..." Namjoon says without hesitation, his back facing you.

*splat*

Sheesh.

Seokjin pays you an apologetic smile and you shake your head to let him know it was fine.

You could handle this.

You think...

The door closes and then you were alone.

With him.

You stood quietly as you watched him paint distractedly, probably not even aware that you were standing there.

His frame was unmatched, even from behind you admired the fit and sculptured shape of his shoulders and back muscles in his paint-stained white tank top. His tattoos winding up his defined arms, and his baggy black sweats hanging from his waist have your heart thumping hard in your chest.

Suddenly you were nervous.

Maybe you should have thought this through before just up and driving over here.

You didn't have a plan.

You just knew you needed to see him.

*SPLAT*

"Ah, shit!" Namjoon curses when a glob of paint ricochets from the canvas, splattering black paint on the side of his face and neck.

You take a step forward, an involuntary reaction to his discomfort, the urge to see if he was alright controlling your limbs.

Your foot makes contact with a squeaky floorboard and you flinch at the loud creak.

Namjoon whips around at the sound, half of his tank stretched up to wipe the paint from his eye, exposing his toned abs and half of his chest.

His clean eye widens and falls on you awkwardly standing just a few meters away near the door.

You looked a mess.

The rain had completely soaked through your clothes...again, and the fabric stuck and clung to your shivering body. Your hair laid flat in loose ringlets over your shoulder and back and your legs trembled underneath your ruined skirt.

"Song..?" Namjoon drops his hand that was tucked under his shirt, his expression hardening with confusion.

"Joon..." you all but whispered, your voice betraying you.

"..what are you doing here?" His frown deepens snd your heart sinks.

"I...well I'm not completely sure. I didn't plan this.." you chuckle nervously and just as you were about to say something silly...

"I'm sorry." He interrupts to say as if he was tired of holding the words in and you blink in surprise.

"I'm sorry Song. You were right...about it all. About Me...There were things that I should have been honest with you about but..."

"I know...." you cut in.

"You do?" His eyes widen.

You nod then sigh.

Here goes.

"And I'm the one who should be sorry. I should have given you the benefit of the doubt. I should have listened. And I definitely shouldn't have treated you the way I did in the parking lot that night..." you shake your lowered head with shame, pausing when you hear Namjoons footsteps padding against the tarp in your direction.

He steps off the plastic and onto the wooden floors, stopping a few feet away.

"I deserved that.." he admits with an equally shameful expression.

You look up and find his hopeless gaze on you.

"No baby.....You didn't." You say, taking a step forward to lessen the gap a fraction.

For a moment the two of you just stared at each other, every emotion and thought threatening to break free from your magnetic bodies. Ready to touch and reconcile.

Ready to be whole again.

Namjoons eyes flit down from your face, stopping to fixate on something just below your neckline.

"Your clothes..." He says darkly and you follow his gaze, looking down to see that your white button blouse was now completely see-through and exposing the shape of your black bra.

No wonder Seokjin looked so shocked.

"Oh.." you move to cover yourself, folding your arms over your chest and Namjoon closes the distance between you.

"What did you do? Run all the way here in the rain?.." he smirks as he looked down at you.

"I couldn't find a closer parking spot. I had to park two blocks away..." you mumbled, getting too distracted by Namjoons proximity.

He hums in response, his eyes dancing with emotion as he looked at you, almost in disbelief.

"So..." you breathe, inhaling the warm deep scent you missed so much as he came closer.

Namjoon says nothing, only gazing into your eyes as he leaned forward.

He was was less than a centimeter away, his staggered breathing warming your lips.

"Joonie....I...need to tell you something..." you whisper, your bottom lip brushing against his.

"What?" He murmurs against your pouted flesh, cupping your face in his big hands.

Before you could speak, Namjoons lips were pressing ever so softly against yours, lingering there for a moment before pulling back.

You couldn't help but chase his lips, pulling his back to capture him in a kiss that deepened by the second.

A tiny moan hums in your throat as you tasted his tongue skimming over your and exploring your mouth as if it were the first time.

Namjoon sighs deeply, pulling you into him by your waist without thinking.

"Ah! I'm sorry...the paint..." he says, holding you away from him by the shoulders.

You looked down and notice the very inkblot-looking stain on Namjoons chest that was identical to the stain on your wet blouse.

You smirk and Namjoons heart flutters at your expression.

"No big deal..."

"They're just clothes......" you say bravely, biting your bottom lip and gazing up into Namjoons eyes.

Your eyes fall to the neckline of the ruined tank and you reach up and take a section of the fabric between both hands and pull.

With much less effort than you anticipated, the shirt ripped and you locked eyes with Namjoon as you continued to pull the tattered material apart until his beautiful marbled skin was all you could see.

Namjoons chest heaved, the blood rushing to his most precious appendage as he grew excited at your boldness.

Once the useless fabric was no longer covering his torso, Namjoon smirks and reaches up for your collar.

"Your turn."

He took his time with each button, slowly torturing you as he unfastened your transparent blouse with care, his eyes locked on yours the entire time.

You trembled as Namjoon peeled the drenched article from your skin, the heat from his touch blazing a trail of goosebumps from your shoulder to your forearm.

The blouse hits the floor.

*splat*

Namjoon reaches back up and teases the straps of your black bra between his fingers.

You tried with all of your might to maintain a steady breath, but the intensity of his eyes had your chest shuddering as you panted with anticipation.

Namjoon abandons your bra straps and gazes down to your waist, a tiny smile touching his lips.

You follow his gaze only to realize what he was smiling at.

You were wearing his favorite skirt.

The dove grey fitted skirt with the zippers on the side.

Oh, the sweet irony.

Pleasant memories flood your mind as Namjoon pressed himself against you, letting his fingers graze the seam of both zipped sides.

At an agonizingly slow pace, he dips down, pulling the zippers up your thighs until the fabric flowed freely, making it quick work for Namjoon to tug and drop to pool at your feet.

There you stood, in your bra and panties, wet from head to toe, from the inside out.

Namjoon regards you with drunken eyes, almost pained as he admired your body.

You reached up to tangle your fingers at his nape, pulling him down to seize his lips.

Namjoon groaned at the sting of you gripping his scalp coupled with the blissful taste of your lips as you parted them boldly to capture his tongue in your mouth.

"Song.." he whimpered against you.

"I need you..." he nips at your bottom lip.

"Please..." he begs.

"Ok" you breathed as you shoved the fabric of his sweats down, hooking your thumbs in the waistband of his boxers to follow.

Your lips never part as Namjoon expertly removes your bra, tossing it aside, turning, and walking you backward to press your body against the still-wet paint on the wall canvas.

You felt the thick liquid sticking to your back but you didn't care. You were too caught up in  Namjoons lips as they traveled down.

Down.

He cups your breasts and laps at each nipple sloppily as he continued to kiss down, reacquainting himself with every curve and plane of your wanton body.

"I've missed you..." he murmurs with his lips pressed to your hip bone, his other hand dragging over your pelvis.

"...so fucking much..."

You moan aloud when his tongue glides over the crease of your thighs, the warmth of his labored breathing coming dangerously close to your trembling center.

Namjoon drops to his knees, putting himself at eye level with your leaking sex. He looks up at you and You quiver at the sight and the sense of power you felt.

Wordlessly, Namjoon keeps his eyes trained on yours as he took your entire mound into his mouth, his tongue dipping in to taste your sweet arousal.

His eyes fall shut as he savored your taste, going straight to work on your swollen clit.

You mumble incoherently as he feasted, letting him lift a leg to rest on his shoulder for a better angle.

"Oh my god.." you cry out when you feel him latch onto your bud with a vacuum seal, flicking his tongue strategically.

The paper behind you rustles as you arch off of it, the medium peeling from your skin as Namjoon fucked you with his mouth.

The sensation was overwhelming, almost painful as every taste bud etched and marked your nerve endings, pulling your orgasm from you slowly but forcefully.

You gasped when the rush of fluid escaped you, painting Namjoon's chin and chest with your love while he eagerly took every drop.

He released your clit to run the flat of his tongue over your slit lazily, finding amusement in the way you twitched involuntarily as you came down.

Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes as you panted and Namjoon could feel your body shudder as the tiny sobs fought to be free.

You didn't know why you were crying.
Maybe the day combined with this moment was all catching up to you.
But either way, you couldn't stop the tears from falling.

Namjoon stands quickly to capture your mouth in his, the salty remnants of your orgasm coating his tongue as he kissed you passionately.

"Joon...please.." you whimpered and Namjoon understood.

Not wasting a second, He pulls you from the wall, and turns his body to lay you against the tarp gently.

He was extremely hard and heavy against you, the tip of his dick kissing the still swollen and sensitive flesh of your clit as he nestled in between your legs.

Namjoon lines himself up with your glistening slit but hesitates.

He looks up and his eyes are full of unbridled emotion again, his jaw tensing as he was about to speak.

"I love you..." he exhales.

As the words leave his lips, Namjoon sinks into you so slowly that you can't help but moan out your honest response.

"Uhhh I love you.." you cry as Namjoon pushes himself as deep as he can go, bottoming out with a deep satisfied groan.

He moves slowly, stretching you slowly, getting to know your silken walls again as if he hadn't felt them in years.

You moaned senselessly underneath him, grinding your hips upwards to meet his strokes, silently begging for more.

"How do you want me, baby? Harder? Deeper? Faster?" Namjoon whispers in your ear, his husky voice making your walls clench around him.

Yes. Yes to all of the above.

As if he could read your mind, Namjoon leans up to hoist your legs up to hook around his waist so he could rock into you with more force.

You bite through the tears and nod, the feeling of his dick tapping your cervix pushing you closer and closer over the edge of oblivion.

"Ooh fuck.." you cry as he stroked you deeper and deeper with every flex of his hips.

"What's up baby..talk to me.." Namjoon growls as he slammed into you harder.

You couldn't speak. You couldn't think.

You were all feeling and sensation, mewling, and saying the few words your brain could manage at that moment.

"I love you!" You cry out just as Namjoon thrusts against your spot.

"Hmm? What was that?" He hits it again and you shout.

"I fucking love you Joonie.." you whimper as he doesn't let up, your words only fueling his passion.

Namjoon leans up, unhooking your legs from around his waist to grab them at the ankles.

Your eyes widen when Namjoon spreads you beyond what you knew you were capable of and he begins to pound into you relentlessly.

He hits your spot with perfect precision from the new angle and you feel as if his dick was deep in your diaphragm.

"Fuck..." Namjoon grits his teeth as he pressed your thighs down to hold you still and spread you wider for him.

"You feel so fucking good baby..take me so well..so wet for me...." he murmurs as he upped his pace, his abs flexing from the effort.

You could barely breathe, the lack of oxygen heightening your pleasure in a way you never expected.

But you needed more, you were so close.

"Joonie.....Babe....." you whimper.

"What's up, Baby?" He pants.

"Choke me..." you peep.

"Huh?" His mind blanks for a moment but doesn't interrupt the stroke as you repeat yourself.

"Choke me...baby..please.." you begged.

Namjoon complied immediately, his dick twitching with its impending eruption at the thought of putting his hands around your tiny pretty neck.

He closed his wide palm against your throat and you moaned at the slight pressure.

"Tighter." You whisper and Namjoon groans as he gave you what you asked for.

You were going to cum soon, you could feel it.

And so could he.

Namjoon squeezes you tighter and you gasp, your eyes beginning to roll back

You never thought in a million years that anything or anyone would feel this good. And at that very moment, you knew that you didn't want to let him go.

This was it.

Your breathing hitched as Namjoon squeezed you tighter, making you wetter by the second.

Without thinking, your hand snakes up his torso, traveling over his abdomen, between his pecs, opening up to snake around Namjoons neck.

Before he realizes what you're doing, you pull him forward so that his lips were on yours.

Namjoons hips stall out and his strokes become stagnant as you applied pressure to his throat to match his grip on yours.

Your eyes unroll at the perfect moment, locking with his as he stared into your soul.

And at the same time, you both come undone.

You watch each other pupils dilate, hands-on each other's throats as Namjoon spilled himself against your pulsing walls.

Low groans harmonizing beautifully with soft breathy moans of pleasure, muffled between your lips and tongues tangling together in harmony as both of your orgasms ran their course.

Time transcended the space you and Namjoon shared. It could have been minutes or hours that passed over your naked paint-smeared bodies as you laid against the ruffled tarp, watching the rainfall and the lightning dance across the night sky through the glass above you.

Namjoons hand was tangled in your half-dry hair, the pads of his fingers massaging your scalp soothingly.

You didn't speak.

You didn't move.

For all that needed to be said was said.
All that needed to be heard was heard.

Well...almost.

"Song...." Namjoon says softly.

"Hmm?" You hum sleepily, your eyelids getting heavier and heavier.

"I love you more."