*a/n ⚠️some sexual language ahead..it may only get worse from here so consider this a warning😁 Thank you for reading *

"Uuhh mmhmm" is all you can manage to let out. As if you have been plunged into the deepest depths of your own ocean without oxygen. No sound or formation of words is necessary. Here, it's all sensation and vibrations.

His large hands slide sensually up your naked thighs and around your hips, squeezing at your skin gently.

Your vision is blurry from tears of pleasure as if you're staring towards the surface of the ocean you feel submerged in.

You're aren't totally aware of what's happening to your body until you feel his hands squeeze at your nude torso once more. At this you lift your head and peer down to find a mound of tousled blonde hair at the apex of your thighs, face buried deep inside of your pleasure.
Soft wet kisses and licks tease at your slickness, causing you to squirm and moan in agitation, yearning for more pressure.
Just then the mysterious tormentor, with one final slow vertical swipe of his tongue, pushes his mouth around your clitoris and begins sucking in a rhythm that causes you to cry out.

Arching your back in response, a low grown of satisfaction vibrates between your thighs, intensifying the sensation.

At this point, you're all moans and curses as he continues on with his delicious torture. You're vaguely aware of one of his hands beginning to skim up your side......over your hip...

Over your tummy...
Between your breasts...
Fingers spreading out and resting your chest.

Your breathing becomes shallow in the wake of your approaching orgasm. As he feels your chest fall and rises rapidly beneath his widespread hand, he pushes himself deeper around you, continuing to lick and suck until you're at the brink of oblivion.

Suddenly just as your orgasm begins to rip through you, his hand slides up to your throat and squeezes harshly, abruptly cutting off the scream of bliss before it could escape your lips.

You're now unable to breathe, kicking, and flailing your arms helplessly as another hand presses against your throat and squeezes you harder.

Your vision becomes blurrier as your eyes flutter and unroll from the back of your head to look up towards the tattooed arms, muscles bulging, and veiny as they strangled you.
Before you feel the darkness closing in, you catch one final glimpse of your undoer. His bottom lip caught between beautiful white teeth, a single small black hoop dangling in his left ear shining in the moonlight, brown eyes low and fixed on your face....as you begin to slip deeper and deeper into the abyss......

Gasping loudly, you lurch forward clutching at your neck. Drenched in sweat and breathing as if you've run a marathon, you blink a few times before it registers.

"Fuuck" you groan.

Pressing your palm between your eyebrows and shaking your head, you sit up in your bed and groan out loud again.

You couldn't even come up with a time you hadn't dreamt of him in the past 2 months and it was slowly driving you insane.

Nearly every night, you half dreaded and looked forward to closing your eyes so that you could drift into another scenario where Namjoon was delectably torturing your body in all kinds of ways.

Always ending in you being strangled to death.

It was so morbid.

But you couldn't deny the adrenaline and passion coursing through your veins every time you were startled awake.
Nor could you deny the substantial amount of moisture that stained the sheets between your trembling legs.

"This is so wrong," you think to yourself as you throw back the comforter to lean towards your bedside dresser in search of new underwear.

Since the first session with Namjoon, he's been creeping into your thoughts unannounced and uninvited almost every day. You had never, in all of your years experienced this kind of perversion in your career...or life for that matter.

Every time you closed your eyes, you were bombarded with visions of dimples, tattoos, teeth, and the warm sweet scent of vanilla..or is it, honey?

What does it matter?! You cant go on like this. It's not right and it's unhealthy. You are a professional and your patients deserve better.

This was it.
It was decided.
In your next session, you were going to tell Namjoon that you were transferring him to another counselor at your office.
You were going to tell him, due to unforeseen events, you... you..dammit..you're insane.

You sigh and tap the side of your phone to check the time.
4 am.

You groan, fall back into your pillows, and roll over.

_______________________________
Five hours later, you were in your car sitting in the parking lot staring at your office building.

Today you would have to face him and you felt ridiculous. In all of your years as a mental health professional, you never had a patient that affected you this much.

To the point where when you saw his name on your appointment log, your heart skipped and stuttered.

To the point where Thursdays were now your favorite and most frightening day of the week because you knew you'd see him.

He was your only patient that made weekly appointments. Pretty expensive if you asked me but that wasn't your place to wonder. That was the arrangement he had with his previous therapist.

So every week you sat across from him, taking in his warm, deep sweet scent..a mixture of soap, fabric softener, hair product, and him...
His lips, smooth and plump, pink..you wondered what they tasted like before stopping yourself.

You lean forward and smash your head against the steering wheel, while a long honk rings out through the parking lot.

Hours later, you find yourself glancing at the clock as the time came and went for Namjoon's afternoon appointment. This was unusual for him because he never missed an appointment. You click through your desktop to your calendar to reconfirm. Then you realize that in the notes, your assistant left a message:
Mr.Kim canceled his appointment but will proceed next week as scheduled.

You hated yourself for being slightly disappointed. But honestly, you were relieved. After your dream last night, you couldn't imagine being able to face him today without completing combusting.

The sunset and you were the last one in your office aside from security that night. You were held up getting ahead on some research and dictations. You sighed as you stretched your arms above your head. Glancing up towards your office door, you nearly leap out of your own skin when you see Namjoon standing in the doorway.
There he stood, breathing heavily as if he'd been running, skin glistening from a thin sheen of what you assume is sweat until you look at his wet hair sticking to his forehead.
Had it rained and you didn't notice?

An awkward silence stretched between the two of you as you just stared at each other from across your office.

"Namjoon?" You blink and squeak out.

"Dr. Song, I'm glad I caught you, I thought you'd be gone for the day but on a hunch, I still came by...I wanted to apologize for canceling at the last minute today." He spoke quickly as if he were a child explaining himself to a dissatisfied parental figure.

"Oh.." you laugh. "It's alright, really. I was a bit worried though, that was out of the norm. Are you doing ok today?" You ask as you shut down your computer and rise to gather your belongings.

"Well yeah, that's why I wanted to come by to let you know I was ok. I had a last-minute rehearsal for a show I have tomorrow night and I didn't realize the time would run over into our appointment " he explains further while rubbing the back of his neck, exposing his ink-covered bicep.

You swallow heavily and continue to get ready to leave.

"Oh I understand, you could have called tomorrow and let me know. You didn't have to go through the trouble by coming up here" you try to hide your blush.

"Well you know I cant break routine, so at least coming here fulfilled that need a bit. Kind of" he blushes as well and you can't help but bite your lip and turn away.

"Right..well I was on my way out so...I guess I'll see you next week?" You tuck a strand of hair behind your ear.

"Of course" he beams.

"Ok great" you responded, looking around awkwardly and fidgeting with your keys.

"Oh shit, I mean shoot. I won't hold you up. I'm actually gonna head out too. Can I walk you down?"Namjoon opens steps aside to allow you to walk through the doorway.

You and Namjoon stood in silence as the elevator took you down to the ground floor. You didn't realize you were holding your breath until the doors opened and a gush of cool air rushed in.

As you were bidding Namjoon goodnight and about to go your separate ways in the parking lot, you felt a hand grasp your wrist gently.

"I actually wanted to invite you to my show tomorrow night, if you didn't have any plans that are.." Namjoon let's go and steps back stares at the ground nervously and looks at you through his lashes.

"Uhm...Namjoon I don't.." you begin and he interrupts you, reaching into his back pocket.
He pulls out a folded-up flyer and hands it to you.

"No pressure at all, I just think you'd enjoy it. There will be other artists there too and I've been talking about this show in our sessions for a while and...." he stops and looks up at you.

You had never seen him look so vulnerable and it made something flutter inside your belly.

"Well, it would mean a lot to me if you were able to make it. Again no pressure. I understand if you're busy......Just think about it ok?"
He smiles sweetly and turns on his heels.

You watch him get in his car and you walk to yours, holding on to the flyer.

Pulling out of the parking lot, you drove home in silence.
Trying to shake the image of him looking up at you out of your mind and you squeezed your thighs together.

Dammit