Ban:

Once death came to Earth, bringing Ban without booze. He was depressed, and lacking alcohol in his bag. Meliodas, his attractive sword, started cooking badly. Nothing could go any good, because Ban was drunk.

We're at our sleepover and we're bored af

King:

King was walking his pet pillow/Chastifol, his best bear was a hobo. King liked Helbram, because  he was fabulous. Sadly, he ate poisonous food. It was Meliodas'.

Mama Hawk:

Mama-Hawk was done with their shit. Leaving Hawk alone, her adopted son.

Helbram:

Arnold was Helbram's imaginary friend. In the corner, Nero was screaming because Yuna ate her pudding. Helbram was on the fridge. That house was a fucking nightmare.

Elaine:

Elaine was taking the long path towards death. Luckily, Ban was there, with King. Everyone hated THAT-TINY-LITTLE-DERPY-FAIRY-THING. So they got a fly-swatter and beat the living daylights outta him.

Elizabeth:

Elizabeth loved being hugged. But Diane hugged Meliodas infront of her. Meliodas went yanderde and tsunderde. Since he cooked casualties poorly.

Diane:

One day, Diane walked away from King. She made cookies with Ban. King was jealous and went to ask Helbram for love advice. Diane enjoyed a nice cup of not coffee. While King ate her cookies. They enjoyed time together.

Don't ask me why I cannot say