~True love stories never have endings.~

Sometimes it is better to go with the flow of life, sometimes it is not. It is disastrous, it is painful and that feeling of being guilty of breaking someone's heart is disgusting. It makes you feel so bad about your existence! Though, I am a psychologist, a pretty positive one, but only in front of the world, those who don't know a cent of me, but to the real me, I am a criminal. Yeah, breaking hearts is not an offense, but if it had been, then I would have been hanged or something for breaking hearts, promises, and what not! By the way, I am Nandini..Nandini Iyer, a psychiatrist working in Health line hospital in Delhi, I am not very proud of my surname to be precise, because it just doesn't suits my first name, the previous one, 'Nandini Murthy' was much better. But what's the need of crying over spilled milk? Get over it, Nandini and concentrate on your work here, this is your workplace, not your lazy couch.

"Knock, Knock"

There was a disturbance now, I had to get out of my over thinking shell, It was my secretary, Raima. I bobbed my head to grant her permission to come inside, she came inside with a file and told me about a patient who was a well known celebrity and had some issues, I took the file and asked her to send him inside. Before, I could read the name, the file slipped out of my hand, and the reports fell down, all scattered near my table, I bent down to pick them up when there was a knock on the door and I shouted "Come in!" And resumed my work of gathering the pages. I knew it was the patient so I thought of starting a conversation while doing my work.

" Hello! Mr..?"

"Hello, I am Manik Malhotra..see doctor, I am facing a grave psychological problem from a few days, I am not able to concentrate on anything! Not on anything! Can you figure it out please? And pretty fast, because I don't have much time to waste, I hope you understand?"

I was dumb, in complete shock, I couldn't think of anything. It can't be him! He can't be here, Noooo!!! He was my past, he can't be here in my present. He is my That part of heart which I had buried, long ago. I had even moved on, but now? How will I face him? Aiyappa, help me please! I decided to act normal, just like how old friends meet after years? Though we were not friends, but lovers.
I took a deep breathe and gathered courage to face him, and got up, having the file in my hand and plastered a smile.
There he was, the same old handsome hunk and that angry young man look on his face which defined his personality and nature.
He was glued to his mobile screen and didn't noticed me, I cleared my throat to get attention and was successful. He looked at me, shocked, surprised with the same look I was having when I heard his name.

"Nandini, tum..? I mean, it is such a pleasant surprise ! So glad to see you!"

Words escaped his mouth and he got up and advanced towards me for a hug, I was a bit awkward with it but still gave in and Aahh, it felt so good to be in his arms after so long, the place which used to be my heaven someday, the place which used to give me love and peace and care and concern now was a complete stranger to me. He stroke my hairs unknowingly, to gain the presence of me, to make him feel my presence for real. I gently pulled out of the hug, adjusting my hairs and myself. We both sat at our places, smiling, a fake smile it was.

"So? How's life? Tum toh celebrity ban Gaye haan? Matlab singer and all, huh?"

I spoke to lighten the situation between us, and I was almost successful in it as I saw the smile on his face, but wait a minute, it seemed a sarcastic one.

"Life is tough for me, but I know yours might be pretty interesting, married and all huh? Tabhi, I couldn't recognise you by your name, the surname has changed na? Mummy ban gayi hongi, Abhi tak toh?"

And I was right, it was a sarcastic remark, to make me feel more guilty about what I did with him, I so knew this would be coming, and I am in a tough situation now.

"Manik, I am sorry, I know this sorry won't undo everything but it can at least heal a cent of the old wounds!"

"Nandini, Purane zakhm bhare toh nahi the, par Purane hogaye the, par Aaj tumhe dekhkar, woh phir Se dard dene lage hai, aur agar Abhi marham lagaogi toh yeh jalengee, behtar hoga, in he apne haal  par hi chod do. And also, I have moved on."

My heart broke into millions of pieces after his statement but I felt happy seeing him moving on but there was an unusual unhappiness that gathered me in its arms, seeing him with another woman ? I couldn't digest it.

"Oh wow, that's nice! I am glad for you."

"Yeah, I am in a relationship with Alya, you remember her? That girl who had a crush on me earlier but couldn't express it to me because of our relationship? I turned our friendship into our relationship."

Obviously, I remember her. She was our friend and liked Manik, she had a huge crush on him but kept quiet because Manik and I were committed to each other, and after my departure, Alya was the one who consoled him. So it was obvious, they were together.
And suddenly, an awkward silence took place amidst us, we both didn't knew what to converse, there were hundreds of topics but nothing seemed right for this conversation.

"How is your husband? What was his name? Naman? Nikhil?"

"It is Neil, Neil Iyer, he is fine. "

"Ohkay, so how is your married life going? All well? "

"Yeah, all well. There are some problems but there is no relationship in this world which is perfect, every relationship has ups and downs ! We are happy."

I tried my best to stop this conversation here, I didn't wanted to discuss my married life with him! But he was adamant, he wanted to know every damn detail of our relationship.

"Had kids? You always wanted one."

"Nope, not till now! It's just 5 years, Manik! Not 15 years, it takes time. And moreover we both are not ready for this."

I was lying, I was dying to have one, the thought of having kids always fascinated me and one of the major reasons of getting married was this one. What to tell him, that I don't have one and I don't think there will be one in our near future.

"Oh comeon! You aren't serious! You are not ready for kids, like seriously! You used to dream about kids and now when the time has come, you are not ready! Don't lie, please!"

"I ain't lying, with time, perspectives change, and that is what has been happening! I want to focus on my career, not in family!"

I lied once again, and I so knew he knew I was lying. But I had no other option to hide my not so working married life, which was now at stake and was dependent on me. There was only one person in our married life which was trying to work it out, and that was me, Neil was least interested but I seriously couldn't afford to reveal this to my ex boyfriend or maybe ex lover.

"Ohkay, maybe this happened. Maybe your husband changed your perspective towards life and what not. Anyways, I will take your leave, I am late for a recording in the studio."

"Aye, wait. You came here for counseling and how can you go without doing it? Tell me your problem, na."

" The problem is solved now, no worries!"

He winked and left, oh my! How much I missed this naughty wink of his which was capable of knocking away any girl's senses! Slowly, those memories of the past tried to capture my present , and my present happily allowed it to :)

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Okay, so I am extremely sorry for the delay in updates, so to compensate , I planned to write this TS, hope it was not rubbish, which it is, because of a long break from writing , do let me know about it :)

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Bye and take care