my trance was broken by sun raise in room, how I hate them, my darkness will be always be destroyed by this sun..i know it will not come in real sense in my dark life.. sleep didn't touched my eyes also..the banging sound on door went for long time at night, but who cares.. I got up looked myself in mirror, it was not me at all.. now its decided whatever is in my fate I will take it, in whole heart as always..

I made my way towards washroom, got myself cold shower to sooth my aching body and heart.. I decided not to interfere in nandini's life, if she is happy with abhay..I guess he kept her happy more than me , maybe that's the reason, she didn't came back to me.. maybe he took her responsibility unlike me.. who just left her for mere career , society and child.. let her live happy..

I just walked out of the room, to cabir's room , who can only console me next to nandini..I knocked the door..as if waiting for me, he opened the door in jiff..

ca-manik, are u okay? he asked in concern..

ma-never than before.. I said, which is whole lie , which he also knows..

he let me in, I gave look, navya bhabi was sleeping with abeer, their son of 5.. he is cute champ, lot of sense humor like cabir..

seeing abir and cabir, I always felt , I wish I had kid of my own.. I started carving for baby, the proudness they get , when they introduce them as parents.. I know I will never get this chance in my life, of being father.. it was curse by my own kid, for calling that as shit and main importantly to kill that kid.. a tear eloped my eyes.. I gave kiss to abir, he was close kid to me, among all of them.. calls me chachu.. but my heart wished once ..just once my kid  call me "papa"..

cabir kept the hand on my shoulder..we walked near balcony of the room, not to disturb the sleeping beauties.. I stood, near railing like lifeless body..when coffee hit my nostrils, I look back only to be greeted by abhi..

he smiled at me and gave coffee to me.. handed over the other to cabir.. dheer dheer every fab5 member were standing at balcony, I can see pity and sympathy for me except one abhi, who was chilling, which shocked everyone but not me..

mu-abhi will u care to answer me , now ..she raised her voice against her husband, who gave I will look..

I turned my face , once to green garden in hotel, I don't know why? but I couldn't face abhi today, maybe he didn't told me truth, but I should never forget he is nandini's friend first.. friends never leave there hand , when needed..same for me .. my only family is fab5 and my mom and dad.. abhi is one such person in nandini's life..i betrayed nandini, but for once he didn't raised his voice against me..i never asked for reason..if asked also he won't answer , I knew this.. and more importantly I and him never went well, because of proposal towards nandini.. after mukthi's marriage also, he kept gap between us..even mukthi didn't bothered more, why she should? she got what she wanted..her abhimanyu..

ab-nandini, aur mera contact kabi nai chuta.. (taking a big pause, keeping his cup aside he started) I was coming here once in a year to meet her..aur viren and jeevika , I never know how to thank them in my life.. they had such place in mine and nandini's life, that no one can take.. they are not just friends ..they are called true friends of my life..

he said proud about viren and jeevika..

ca-how do know them? mathlab we never introduced u people, if I guess?

ab-ur guess is right cabir, u people never introduced me or nandini to them(he took pause), viren and jeevika meet at one incident , infact they were god of our lives, when they meet us..warna na nandini na abhimanyu..

ma-what u mean by that? I asked him, something was really wrong at his tone, I could read a fear of loss, a failure of his, a depth of pain was there in his voice..i looked back at him..he had tears... was something happened to them without our knowledge, what had happened to my nandini that time..all negativity crossed my mind..

ab-ek wakth aega manik, when u feel helpless , u feel hatred for urself..same thing happened to me..one wrong move everything will be destroyed..i destroyed u people's friendship..it was verge to break..and nandini left u.. I had one letter to fix u people..i did it? and u got ur friendship.. but u didn't got ur love.. and me my friend

dh-kis ki letter thi? he asked in curiosity, only I knew who it was..

ab-nandini ki..

all-what? everyone said in unison except me, and navya bhabi came running to see what happened to us..

nav-kya huwa? why are u people screaming like this? she questioned In confusion..

al-badme bathyenge,..abhi continue..

ab-heard it right.. nandini liki thi vo letter, if I hadn't read that letter , the fab5 would have destroyed much before its success and I would never married mukthi..

mu-kehan kya chathe ho? u didn't wanted marry me?

ab-never.. after what ur brother did to my friend..i would have definitely not married to u..in fact I started regretting loving u.. (mukthi was shocked to core, so was we) woh letter nai padtha na..u would never called MUTHKI ABHIMANYU THAKKUR.. (he raised his voice-I never seen such abhi in my entire life)yes, heard right mrs.thakur..I was no verge, on forgiving u two siblings for hurting my friend.. (he pointed mukthi and me) how could u think so low, that nandini will take me away from u..huh! how could u? infact mera bas chal tha I would have not solve ur issues, but nandini asked me to do, to make everything correct between u people.. because she knew u were never friends but a family..which she always wished to become one, but people are so low minded thought that she was trouble maker in between, some accused her for ur fightings..(now both alya and mukthi bend their heads in shame) and some said her opportunist (now both dhruv and cabir bowed their heads) some weighed on her class and her status(he indirectly mentioned my parents) and some left her hand because she was pregnant before marriage(and final hit was me).. I really pity ur life manik.. I badly do(he said in such a anger tone, and hatred towards me, I just wanted earth to open to take me in).. u lost most precious girl in ur life..and much more people in ur life..(his eyes softened little bit)

ab-kash pakd patha tu us..kash..(he said in concern tone) but .. he stopped in middle..he rubbed his tears roughly and tired to say something stopped himself..

ma-but what?

ab-kuch nai...

ca-u knew nandini..where she was? why didn't u inform us?

ab-i didn't wished to..because nandini didn't wanted him in her life and importantly I wanted him to suffer without her.. and it happened.. u people were punished to see him lifeless because u hurt that soul.. I wanted u all suffer.. it was promise of mine for myself .. to do this with u.. u should know the pain, pain of loss..pain of being guilt..pain of being alone still having everyone and still having everything.. bohuth gamad tha na tumare maa baap ko peso ka.. bolo mukthi manik ..haina.. pura dawlth bi manik ko , kush nai rak paya.. rak paya kya manik?(he asked me, which he absolutely knew the answer) ajj pura dawlth be dekar tum log voh kush lapayenge manik ko..depaynge tumare maa baap..??(he asked in such tone that even sleeping abeer got up in jerk, in sleep, navya bhabi ran to abeer, but I knew no money can get me happy ever, nor even my parents could get me, what I want, what I need) mukthi and alya apna dil pe hath rake kaho, when nandini became reason of ur fights, its bloody ur stupidity, where u all people were end up by fight..and nandini was no where related to ur fight ever..(both girls, blinked tears from their eyes, out of shame, yes nandini was nowhere reason for our fight, it was always our insecurities which led down us there) and cabir and dhruv, ab tum dono bolo nandini, kabhi manik se kuch mangatha, like precious gifts, mansions..anything..(they both nodded no, nandini never asked anything from me, it was always me , who had gifted her, which she left all, when she left me forever) aur mukthi will u please tell me that, when did I gave signals to u  that , I love u or nandini..did I ever said my feelings to u..huh..yes, I thought i loved her.. but truth was I loved her as my friend..like a best friend , which I mistook as love against her.. but u both were always equal to me.. I always treated u both equal.. but I didn't knew when I fell for u.. after u people started fight , I regretted loving u only.. the girl , couldn't understand me, who was my love.. (he said in sad tone, as if regretting them now) but nandini tried every best to mend our relationship without her presence.. and she did it.. and u are standing as my wife only because of nandini.. warna u would have deleted by my life long back..(he spitted the truth after 9 years of their marriage, mukthi was crying like hell, alya was consoling her) and manik If u didn't had guts to face the world, then why the hell u came  under relationship, when u had many plans for ur career, then could u not wait u settle before doing that , if u are not sure about her, then why on the earth u destroyed her life..why?

he spitted fire against me.. what should I answer, when he was absolutely right, he was right, I didn't had a right to destroy her life.. I didn't had any right other than she was my girlfriend.. I should have not gone such close to her, then it would not been this big mess.. atleast nandini, would have been here with me.. unlike leaving me alone..

ma-i'm sorry, I should haven't done that.. i'm sorry from my heart... I regret my deeds from my soul.. I said to him as never ending tears came from eyes.. I sat on my knees.. as even my body was giving no support, why it will ? when my whole support system is crashed with the thought I betrayed my nandini..

ab-u should be definitely.. he gritted his teeth..

I never knew that person, who was with us, had this much of hatred towards us, but he never showed us, he always avoided as much as he could, after my break up with nandini..he was best friend of fab5 once, he used share everything with us.. but two incidents broke that golden friendship of us forever.. my one mistake ruined everything..i knew god gave me punishment for killing the pure soul and other for hurting my soul.. I deserve more than this.. yes I deserve more than this...

dh-who is abhay? he asked in whisper..

ab-u will get to know soon... and yeah u have concert in oratory school, if u all guys remember,,,backup ur shoes..past is past ..

he walked out , without telling me , who was abhay? urgg..

I stood at office of school, as the school was organizing a concert among its students, and we were requested to open up the concert..as it was school , I said immediately yes, I love to mingle with kids.. their toddler talks.. their cute and innocent faces..their nave nature..they are the most pure soul in whole world, which I wanted destroy..i closed my eyes.. everyone were talking about the concert, abhi was not there was he was needed in preparations of wedding.. he left us, by dropping us here..

the morning thing was eating up me like anything, so I came out giving an excuse as everyone were relaxing in green room,, I walked out.. I was feeling something like some part of mine was here.. I walked on corridors.. suddenly someone bumped me, not me in real sense.. my long legs..

before that person falls, I held that person, then only I came to know that was girl, who had soft soft skin.. long soft silky brown hairs.. I mine really long .. then I saw her  face.. I got something , which I can't put in my words.. I made her stand properly..she gave me her million dollar smile.. her smile remembered one person..nandini.. then I took her in my arms.. then I saw her eyes, which was perfect chocolate brown, just like me.. and her nose were like nandini.. I was too shocked and surprised ..my heart jumped out of happiness , joy, everything, which I never felt.. I smiled at her..

ma-are u okay baby? did u got hurt? I asked her in concern, she smiled more beautifully, which decreased my pain in such an extent , I can't say..i had connection with her , I felt very next second, when she smiled at me..

no.. thank u...she answered me as sweetly as she can.. I kissed her forehead more affectionately, I never felt this feeling for any kid, even kids of my friends..she smiled more..

ma-what's ur name? baby.. I asked sweetly...

gi-avni.. she said .. I felt unknown proud at that time..

av-what's ur's? she asked me

ma-manik...

av-app india se ho.. she asked me..with much more difficulty in her hindi.. I laughed at her innocence , she was just like my nandu, such nave soul..

ma-yeah baby.. i'm from india.. app? I asked her, as I wanted know , who she was..

av-i'm from London..she said in perfect accent of british..she had good accent of English rather than in hindi..maybe she is trying to learn hindi now..

then only I noticed her hands , which carried something like drawing book..i guess It had some sketches in it..

ma-what's that? I asked in curiosity..

av-this ...she showed me her sketch book, in which she drew a beautiful princess just like her, like really long hairs..

ma=apne leka hai? I asked her, she gave confused look to me.. got it she didn't understand my words..

ma-do u did this? I asked her..she smiled and bobbed her head vigorously ..

ma-its beautiful, just like u avni.. I said, being felt unknown proudness.. she must be good sketcher, and there was no doubt at all..

av-thanku

I was about ask her , who were her parents, especially her mom, because some where I felt she was my daughter, but I was not sure, because nandini would have aborted or she must have ...

my thoughts were cut by my friends and principal of that school..

ca-hey who this is pie? he asked her as he pulled her cheeks, she really made bad face with her pout..

she rubbed her cheeks turned to me, to answer..

pr-hey avni, what are u doing here dear? u most be in ground right? principal asked her, she made horror face, looked up as if complaining to god about herself ..

av-how can I forget?aiyyappa I'm gone for toss..

that's it , I didn't want any information at all because, I knew she is my daughter only, because aiyyappa was brand new name taken by nandini's daughter behalf of her.. my happiness had no bounds, I was father of baby girl..who is just sweet like nandu.. aiyyappa had blessed me with baby girl, I can't believe at all.. I had tears in my eyes of happiness.. I would never knew, I had such beautiful daughter, oh! lord thanku thanku ..so much..

 I kissed her face thoroughly, she giggled but didn't stopped me..lastly I gave her a kiss... I looked around to say them..that she was my daughter but it was not needed at all, because they got the minute when she said aiyyappa..and her appearance.. mukthi lovingly gave a kiss to her cheeks.. which followed by everyone.. she smiled at everyone..

ma-avni, can I ask u something baby?

av-not before..u introduce them to me.. she pointed all the kids and their parents, who were family..

ma-fine.. I blinked my tears and introduced each one by name.. and not by relation because I wanted everything to be appropriate, when I say her whom i'm and who all they are..

it was most precious moment in my life , next to nandini's first meet with me.. I can't forget this moment at any point at all.. yeah my daughter must be 10 years..with short height like nandini..completely like doll in real..have best smile in world... I was really proud.. nandini made a best decision of her life by not aborting the beautiful soul, how can be so stupid? how can I call this baby of mine as shit? I hate myself for that.. I will never forgive myself for that words at all..

av-hello everyone, i'm avni..she also introduced herself to others by waving them hi..

before I ask about her mom, there was an announcement for us..i carried my baby in my arms..she was precious to me..she was my baby.. and I love her..and I promise to take care of her till my breath..i'm ready take up her responsibility to my entire life , if nandini permits me.. and mostly I will give her all love and care and affection to her , which my baby avni deserves..

I walked to stage with avni, whole green ground was filled up with students, teachers, some parents and otherside with participants.. I stepped up on stage..whole crowd were going gaga of fab5 mostly calling my name holding banners of mine.. I putted avni down..she smiled at me and asked..

av-app log fab5 ho..

ma-yeah baby..u know us..as I sat at her level..i wanted to know whether nandini told about me or fab5..

av-yeah..suna tha.. I love ur music..but I didn't knew ,u are the people.. she said to us.. I fixed micro phone near my mouth.. she opened something from her chotu bag.. I was just looking her and adorning my daughter..oh! god she is an angel, from heaven.. I saw a big bar of chocolate.. she unwrapped it quickly..put them near my mouth..do u think , anything can by this good.. I smiled at her took small bite..she was ditto copy of nandini, because even nandini used make me eat chocolates before my performances..how I missed her luck every time , when i'm going to perform.. but today my daughter fulfilled my wish..

av-all the best..she gave cheek kiss to me.. I had tears, I missed this moment in my life..how much things I had missed in my life..then I remembered abhi's word..u missed much more people, that means he was referring to my daughter, oh! god , how can I be so dumb..

ca-manik, we are getting late..he informed as I was still adorning my baby..how cute she is ? aiyyappa bohuth pursathse banaya meri baby ko.. I gave nod to him..turned to avni..

ma-u just stand over there, and tell me how I sing? okay baby...

av-yeah

she stood beside all the babies of my friends in crowd, infact my daughter was elder among all of them.. she gave the all best to me, as I came in middle.. I gave a look to crowd, everyone taking my name..

ma-good after everyone(crowd cheered), lets start some music before that I wanna dedicate this song to my girl like every time, and yeah thanks for beautiful soul, I know u are not here but still this for u, once again with all my heart and soul..and yeah one person to the list from here after avni..this is for u also baby...

I said my baby and blew big fat flying kiss..i caught as If I  found them..

 I got a hope in my life in form of my daughter..and I never can thank my lord for this...

she was light in darkness, thanks for lord...