Hello everyone.. okay u finally finished my target and more than that. Thank u for all the votes and comments..I loved each one..😘😘😘

please kindly read the lines down, don't skip it..

Before u start I want just talk about the main important character of this story, next to Manan..whom u people love like crazily..its non other than Abhay Manik Malhotra..

Hmm.. Abhay an imaginary character of mine..trust me, I would love to have brother like him..it was dreamy types of mine..if I would ever had brother..it will be definitely be like abhay..I given my personal choice to his personality, which I love to see in my brother..but nope's I could't have a brother..

Now coming to character of Abhay.. writing about Manan is far easier than writing about him to me..showing a 10 year boy all mature wasn't my cup of tea.. he had shades of his both parents.. he is Hulk and at the same mature enough deal with things.. irritative but makes sure it is in limit..he is hot yet cute at the same time.. he is strong yet weak from inside..rude yet cares for everyone..can make someone life hell and can give his whole life for his loved one..hardcore for himself yet have melting heart...He is small 10 year kid yet behaves and deals with things more maturely than his age..a individual,who entered my story..who u have given place in ur heart..

Well people ask me 100 times do ever feel abhay is 10 year boy, for sure..and answer is even No for me too..😀😀 u can't expect a 10 year to be so matured..but guys, trust me there kids outside, who at very small age they learn what is life, which I couldn't understand at the age of 20 also.. abhay's character was inspirational character, which I got through with some boy of 7,whom I saw in street, when I randomly hanging out with my friends..a person whose way of thinking about particular thing is 100 times better than mine..

Now coming to Abhay..my first question is how u deal without ur dad for one month..just think he is out of town for his work..and u being kid of home do all the work of ur father, till he comes back..maybe bring small home groceries.. helping ur mom a little though..but U try not burden ur mom, because she is alone to deal with u, where father isn't at support to her side, u make sure u won't trouble her more, right??U become responsible, on his absence required for ur age and situation..now u think about abhay, who never met his dad..he had grown responsible from years.. where he need to protect his little sister, from the humiliation they get of not having father beside them to protect them..he had grown up mature because of situations and people around him..he as to be strong to deal with the world, who loves to show ur weak point and humiliate them..life as thought lessons for him at very small age..where he even wanted cry for his dad's arms, like other kids..but couldn't find it, Whenever he needed it..and u don't have option other than being strong to face any problem..some ask me about his words, guyss what will u experience in ur life that comes in ur mouth..the exposure he got was really not good to have as kid..but its not only thought him lessons but changed his personality..where u can see him more mature, responsible, patient, humble, right decision maker..above an average age of his..

As there is saying, the stone which gets more hit, will become best monument..

And that's what Abhay is ..a imaginary character of mine..who u loved to core..from whom my way thinking about life has changed to certain extent..and thanks for loving this character..who is my personal fav. Guyss if u ask me about hero of the story..then I will say it's Abhay Manik Malhotra not Manik Malhotra..😉😉..because he is base of whole story..he is ruling story..

Now back to ur shoes..I don't know how u people u gonna react after reading this update.. how u gonna take it.. whether u will like Abhay or not I don't know..but this is my Abhay character in the story..who is mature enough more than his stupid patents..some may think he is over mature at the age, where he shouldn't talk like that with his parents, but when parents are useless, u need to show them their path to the right direction, I say age doesn't really matter, to show u right path..hope u love Abhay same the way u always loved him..finger crossed..though..

abhay baby love u...

And mind to vote till it reaches 400+ sorry guys there will be no updates,if not reached.. I have already proved it two times for u..so, silent readers its going to be warning for u all..other wise I'm gonna private whole story.. sirf vote karna hai.. if u feel yes, I do deserve it, then kindly vote..and zada accha hai tho comments bi karlo..😋😋

I love to read inline comments😍😍😍😍..

B

efore u start u may need tissue..😢

Nandini's pov

i was carried by manik like a baby, i used love to get rides from him, they were best days of my life with him..i just want to relive that moments with him..but something is stopping to trust this man yet again, who i claim i love more than anyone in the world..i was still doodling unwanted shit on his nape..when the elderly couple speaking about i being his wife, where i smiled hearing them..i looked manik from my corner of eyes, he was actually blushing, a sight to watch if u ask me..because i nandini murthy the only girl manufactured by my aiyyappa, who can make blush THE MANIK MALHOTRA..when lift door opened there stood our kids with ever perfect smirk, i don't wanted to be bother because its manik malhotra's problem..where i continued my beautiful work on his nape..i was actually writing i love u..if he could concentrate what i was doing, but duffer as all work to shoot glares to his son, who was teasing him like no one..where abhay had all the smirk of manik..to irritate shit of him..but it came to an end, when his phone buzzed..

ma-dek lunga tume..he said as he slide phone from his pocket by lifting me little more from my butt..where he smiled brightly seeing the message, i suppose..he passed same to abhay..

ab-i know she will be here by four days..he rolled his eyes..

ma-tume ye bhi malum hai? He was little irritated from Abhay..where abhay rolled his eyes..

ab-off course..esa kohi cheez nai jo abhay nai jantha ho..he smirked to irritate manik..but i was bloody stuck with a word called she...

na-care to explain who is "she" here? mind me, my tone was out of control, where abhay rolled his eyes again..manik smiled nervously..looking for help from abhay, who was in no mood to support manik..where we already reached our flat..i was badly annoyed or say it jealous, u can't help..because i'm hell possessive, when it comes to my manik..

ma-nandini..relax..u will meet her once she comes back from delhi..he avoided the topic smoothly, but do u think i let go this topic..something i don't like when manik doesn't shares with me..i get hurt..if I don't become his first listener..i always been his listener than anyone, i don't like if someone take my position in his life..if it is my kids also, i don't care..i should be his first priority forever that's it..u call me selfish..i don't care, that's how i loved him..that's me and my love for him..and hence i'm highly insecure about it..i know there is no sense i'm talking or feeling..but this are in one part of my mind..and this is the reason, i'm behaving all kiddish around him..i want him by myself...how much ever i hurt him, i want to become his healer..i want him for myself that's it..

na-fine..i muttered for time being as i heard his phone buzzing..i saw caller, smiled brightly as i snatch phone from manik's hand..forgetting my insecurities..

na-hey viren..i yelled loud enough to hurt manik's drums, where he cursed me inwardly, where i rolled my eyes..

vi-hey buddy..kaise hai tu? aur tu manik phone pe? vah..kya chakar hai? he asked in teasing way..aur karo aur..how come on earth u can be so dumb nandini..now answer him, this is called digging ur own pit..which nandini murthy is expert since when even she isn't aware of..where i was fumbling for words to answer him..

vi-chill baby sis..abhay ne bathya muje sab kuch..so, relax..don't fumble to find words to speak with me..he said, how sweet of my son..i threw flying kiss to my son..where he winked at me just like manik does..

ab-anything for u babe...he said like a perfect flirt with his ever famous flirty flying kiss, where manik was shock and hell jealous..where he smirked at manik..manik immedaitely put down, as he ran behind abhay..for his bachkane harkath..its abhay, who flirt with me like manik does, but it disappeared from four months..where i found my son all silent away from his other avatars and shades, where he used sulk in his room..with his guitar..how i missed my son that time, but he was getting better with manik's presence in our life..i never seen my son that happy..i thought he will be anger and hate manik, but whatever i had imagined just went opposite way..but i liked that change in my heart, even though my mind didn't liked that thought..i never knew my son can tease manik like that..i never seen this side of abhay till manik entered in our life..abhay is changing for good, and reason was manik..he was coming out of his shell, which he is covered with in his heart..and happy to see my baby happy..

i talked to viren for how many minutes i don't have any idea..where he asking my help to surprise jeevika..which i gladly did..i said some necessary things which he noted and improvise according to his needs..and there was a moment, which stopped all my happiness in blink..where my stomach churned like hell..i saw manik coming from other way of corridor without abhay with him, he was cursing under his breath,, i can easily say that..and our daughter's where already in mine flat..i mean where we supposed to be in rent as i passed keys to mrudula, who didn't knew the password of our flat..

vi-god its 31st nandini..i can't believe ur birthday is coming in next three days..this is first where i won't be there to wish u buddy..i'm so sad re..he continued his ranting..where my whole word stopped because tomorrow was the day, where i lost everything..it was exact 11 years of our separation, which i had forget with this false world of mine..and my mind worked more than my heart..i gave full control to my mind..i know i will curse myself for the damage i'm going to do..but today i'm going to hurt him for sure..

na-viren, i will talk to u little later, enjoy ur stay..i said with cold statement..manik looked as he noticed my tone of voice..he was confused to no level..don't be malhotra, why should i bear all pain..let me taste u few..

ma-what was viren talking? i wanted to speak with him..he said as he noticed call was hung..where he sadly saw his phone as he slide his phone in his pocket..as he took my hand with his..i jerked it, i know i was irrational..but the pain and hurt i have got, he can never feel it..until I spit to him..

ma-what's wrong jaanu? he asked as softly as he could..but i know i was testing his patience very badly..

Na- Kal ka din yaad hai, Malhotra?? I asked with all hatred for him..he was hurt for sure hearing my tone and my eyes, which spoke what I wanted show him..but my mind didn't budged seeing it..

Na- Kal..Nandini Kal Kya hai? He asked me with his suppressing choking tone..where it hurt my heart but I pushed it aside..the pain I had gone through because of him is something,which is unacceptable for me..where he destroyed my whole world badly..where my mom supported him without caring about me..its just because of him..my mind yelled adding fire to my current state..

Na- bloody jerk..how could u forget what's tomorrow? I yelled as loud as I could.. I didn't know how I got so angry on him..the anger and hatred I had on him, just came all over the part of my system, where my heart was trying to take the charge in its hand before my mind damages whole situation between us..but nothing was working today..like that day..

Ma- kal..kal tho..its 1st June..he said as soon as he completed..he was gone, he stood all numb, where he didn't let out a word from his mouth..where I could see he was digging his nails in his fist to control his tears..he gulped huge lump from his throat to voice out a bit only to shut for a reason, which I didn't wanted to hear a word from him..my whole body still shivers even at mere thought of that day..I used cry buckets Whenever this day comes..I used indulge myself in some or other work..but his words run into my system like viral..where I couldn't with stand myself seeing his hatred for my kids..how cruel he is..and I loved a heartless person, who didn't loved my kids..who just wanted to kill them..I was in tears again..I could only see glass of tears adoring his brown orbs with his all hurt..which he suppressed with close lids of his for seconds to take them into his control.. but I was woken with motherhood..which still pinches hearing his words of that day..

Na-finally yaad Aya tume..how could u do that? How bloody could u?? Huh! I still can't get over it.. u Moron u gave something to me, which I can't forget in my whole life..how could u hate My kids?( Where I stressed My kids, where it hurts him to other level)  Didn't it pinched ur heart..Mai kisse bol rahi Hu.. ur heartless creature of this world..U freaking don't deserve to be human because u couldn't love ur own flesh.. and here I'm expecting something from u is just useless.. u know what, dare u show ur face to me tomorrow..and I will show u what will happen to u if u happen to show me ur face tomorrow..I threw everything which I had with me from years together, where Manik listened every word but he didn't stopped me, he heard my each complaint, where his face was hung down with guilt and hurt. I wanted him to fight against me.. I wanted hear from him as I had instigated a father in him..but still he didn't spoke a word..but I saw a masked strong man in him, who rubbed his tears swiftly..he wasn't the man who i loved, the one I loved was always impulsive, he used shower his feelings without second thought with me, because he knew i never judged him.. but things have changed, I'm changed and no one can blame me, as he killed his girl in me, very badly..he looked up to see in my eyes..he wanted say hundred things but choice to be silent.. as he took a step forward towards me where I back out..but still he had guts to come near me..where he rubbed my tears as I leaned to wall..

Ma-i know Nandini, Mai jobi karunga it can never reduces ur pain..i know i did wrong, no a sin..a biggest sin that day and I also know I don't deserve u all.. but i need u all.. please.. come back..please..i can't leave without u..and all I want to say is I'm sorry..I know my mere sorry can't work on ur pain, which I had given to u..but give me chance Nandini I will try to correct them, I will try to heal u.. please..I will please..he begged something from me I was ready to give yet again I was stopped because I couldn't trust him..I couldn't.. because he lost it by himself, where I didn't answered his question again, where It damaged his hope badly..he closed his eyes to hear me..the thing which he never wished to hear from me,which I never wanted to say in my entire life..

Na-I don't trust u manik..I said badly choking in my voice yet it turned determined, just hurt him more..where he left my face, which he was palming..he turned his face way..I couldn't see his eyes..he took a deep  breath..he was consoling himself again..for a second also he didn't showed his anger to me, which shocked me, i doubt if he was same Manik whom I know, he would have shown me his depth of his pain..but this Manik he chose to keep himself..he didn't say how badly I'm treating and hurting him, but he took it in the way, which I never expected him to do..he was changed but for his own disaster.. he kept all pain for himself..my mind chucked his feelings..where my heart said u will regret.. 

Na-I don't want to see u tomorrow..I said with hatred trying to bring out his feelings..but only could hear..

Ma- u won't see my face..as I said, anything u ask for..he said with all his defeat, I have never seen Manik so defeated.. where I saw he was failed by me..very badly..there was no sign of any emotion in his eyes..where his face went blank.. Manik was most expressive guy, but I failed to see this change in him.. which I will repent for sure.. which my heart yelled at loud.. where she cried for him again.. because  I didn't hurt him alone but myself too..i was successful in hurting him but forgot its hurts to hurt him..

What's up guyss pirse romance jaari..kuch tho sharam karo.. Abhay was back.. but I saw his sharp deadly glare for me..I couldn't understand why on earth he was glaring me.. that to abhay..where Manik didn't replied back as he didn't noticed abhay actions..

Im off to bed..good night..Manik just turned to open the door of our flat..where I was standing still waiting for him to react a bit atleast..

I will join u in a while.. kitten will stay with Avni.. Abhay added further more where Manik just nodded and went in by opening door for Abhay..where abhay walked inside my flat..all way glaring me..I could see manik's anger in him, which I wanted to see in manik's face..by chance did he heard me..I walked in praying all gods.. Abhay had huge soft corner for Manik..and I will be blasted from him for sure..

I quietly went inside my room.. I saw abhay in kitchen, he gave damn to my presence.. it hurt to see from my son..I saw abhay was coming into my room..he passed water to me.. and he waited till I finish by tapping his feet just like me, I knew he gonna blast at any moment. If he happen to listened our whole conversation, he will show me my mistake its pretty abhay..just like manik.. but I didn't saw that glimpse in Manik's eyes, which I badly wanted him to react for my words but nothing worked..

Ab-so, care to explain Murthy..that was badly not expected from abhay at least..he never addressed me with my surname even to tease me also,where he sat crossing his legs on bed, his tone had some unknown protection for Manik..which damn irked my mind..because Manik Malhotra was going to get another support from my own side.. but it's my son this time.. I was definitely hurt again..but didn't saw that manik needed someone too..

na-if u are trying to support him abhay? out of the room..i yelled back, where my son had all audacity to challenge me..he was the way what his name says..ABHAY- THE FEARLESS..

ab-i didn't came here to support him nor u..i'm here to knock some senses of urs, which are missing badly this days..he mocked me..i can see manik in him..

na-abhay, i said out of the room..i yelled at him..i had enough for the day..manik was enough to strike my all worst senses..i didn't want my son to add more..

ab-do u people have any freaking idea, how stupid my parents are? u really don't know, right..they are such jerks..who spoiled not only their lives but all four lives..u have any idea, what we have been through? Did we ever complained to u? did we? And what non sense ur talking to him? that u forget u were all happy with him few minutes back, and suddenly u changed in blink..have u forgotten ur senses this badly mom...he yelled at me..this was the first i'm seeing abhay this anger...he never shows his anger to me, for entire world he monster but for me he is simple abhay, but today he was throwing all his frustration, which he had stored within him..i can see pain in his eyes..he never complained any damn thing to me..but today i guess i crossed my limits, where he was spitting his side of story..when he saw manik's hurt eyes..

na-abhay..i was about touch him..he jerked my hands, where i saw tears in his eyes..his anger was coming out of tears, i failed him badly..

ab-no mom..u shouldn't have done that..wasn't he trying his best to pick up things and make things right..wasn't he repenting for his sins..are u going so blind to see his hurt..where is that nandini murthy u would set whole world into fire for his tears..but today u just became reason for his tears..he didn't say anything doesn't mean he isn't hurt..mom..kya hogaya apko??where is that nandini who always been matured,who thought me, never ever hurt anyone..where she is lost? u aren't making any sense mom..u aren't..he was trying best to knock senses to me..but nothing was going to my mind..

na-abhay, didn't he hurt me..didn't  he let me walk out..he hated u so much..how could u think i will trust him..his sorry things,won't get back my lost  pain and hurtful 11 years abhay..i'm badly suffered with u all..didn't u see my pain? i yelled at him..abhay just looked me, closed his eyes to control his anger, trust me i never seen him that anger, he never dared to voice out his loud tone to me, but today..he was showing other side, which had preserved for outsiders..

ab-i didn't say mom,that he didn't hurt u..he hurt u very badly but mom..he is trying all way to not to hurt u again, he is mending each things..but u..u are just hurting him more, when we are making all way to make him smile, u just make him cry..the next second..(he took a pause)forget it..about me, today i'm standing here with u not with him, because i have seen ur tears closely than anyone..u always been my first priority mom, that's why i'm here, other wise i would been with him, even knowing he needs someone, but i'm here for my mom not for him..i know what u have gone through mom, i saw ur each struggle, i have seen ur pain mom..i always been there mom, but what u did today wasn't really acceptable..sorry to say that..he didn't deserve that, when he is trying to make things correct..he turned his face away, to calm him, but in vain, nothing was helping him, my words were just oiling his anger..and what were u saying 11 years, which u lost right?, did u forgot that it was not only ur 11 years but his damn 11 years, which he lost..did he ever complained about it..u just walk out mom..u could have slapped right on his face, when u know that jerk like my dad is impulsive and when he is anger he don't make any sense..if u could have just be little patient enough, he would have accepted u with us..but u chose to walk out..if u could be little mature that second u would have never lost any of us..think mom, think..did he ever said no to ur any wish..u could have made him understand little, u could have mom..he wasn't that cruel mom, the way he show off to the world.he can give away anything for his loved one's do think he really hated us mom..do really think? walking wasn't only a option u had mom..u had option of making everything right..if u wanted to chose any other option..he threw some senses and facts in which i never thought..he was right actually, i could have slapped that bastard but that moment i wasn't sane..he could have come behind me to stop na..but no he didn't did any such..did he? and my son is supporting him..life can't go better(note of sarcasm)

na-but he had option to stop me abhay? didn't he had that option, he just let me walk out..wasn't i alone being wrong..why aren't u looking his mistakes? i asked him, i was definitely hurt because he was supporting manik, but i should also accept whatever he was saying was true..

ab-i'm again saying to u...that i'm not here to support him..but to throw some so called facts to u, which u happen to never see because u are blinded with ur own pain, mom..and about ur question,mom, do u think he never come behind something, which he called his own life..do think his love was so weak..think mom, did u left any option to him to reach u..u rubbed all traces of urs, where world knows u as NANCY not as nandini murthy..he tired reach nandini murthy but all he got was empty hand..where he tried all means but couldn't reach u..he tried mom, he tried all means to stop u..but he just couldn't stop at that moment..he was divested himself..he just couldn't..he sat on his knees as his voice chocked badly, he lost in pain of manik and he started crying, he knew each thing of manik, i'm sure..yes, he knows..his answer where such a confident one, and any can say he knows and he knew manik better than anyone..

na-kya huwa tha manik ko? what happened with him? i asked him as i sat on floor near to him, as i lifted his face..i could see never ending pain in his eyes for manik..abhay was this close to manik i never knew that..i could see never ending love for manik, which is more than what he had for me..he loved manik more than he loved me..

ab-i'm sorry mom..i won't say anything to u..if u wanted to know about him, u would have known it mom, but u didn't cared about him..if u wanted u could have mom, u NANDINI MURTHY, the whole world knows ur power..if u really cared about him, u could have just had look back at his life..and u claim that u love mom..whenever u see his concerts didn't u saw hurt in his eyes..didn't ur heart ever said that u should at least see what he was going through without u ..u would have asked about him, by abhi mamo..but u chose other way..i'm not complaining mom, but i'm showing ur own mistakes, which u haven't realized..i'm neither supporting u nor him..but trying to say that think before u act or say anything..trust me he never gonna show his pain or feeling to u..he will never, until u want break his walls..until u want go back to his life, by not leaving alone..if not sorry mom, u badly gonna regret for it..before its late try to make things better.. don't make a hill into Everest mom..don't..mom..we have platter full of things to deal with..don't add more things..its my request..he was about walk out..

na-abhay, its request of mine..bolo kya huwa tha usee..don't i deserve to know? i asked him with all pain..he turned to my side..

ab-u have every right to know..but the thing is i'm not saying anything..find it by urself..if u think u need to..baki sab ap ki marzi..i won't come back and say things to u..i'm warning u, if u ever do something worse between all the four..trust me..u gonna see my different face..i hope u don't want to see my other side..do u? he never warned me, i gulped my throat..i got fear by seeing him..he looked like manik more than abhay to me..

na-"he is changing u..by his FAKE LOVE..to get me back"did i actually said that, oh! shit..i cursed myself, when i know what wrong i said..i know it was highly mistake that i let out my anger, without controlling my tongue..and damage was done very badly..

ab-did u just said FAKE LOVE?? his anger raised to sky..he was monster for sure.. but i called for it..but it was by mistake..i could see sudden hatred in my son's eye for me..he closed his eyes, to take a breath..

ab-forget it...do ever saw complaining eyes and crying eyes of avni? did avni ever complained u that he didn't loved her? did she ever cried for him? did u ever see how happy ur daughter is? after he entered our life and let it by at side.. here i'm standing all alive just because of him..if u remember a few minutes back the accident..i would gone long back to ur aiyyappa..if he wouldn't have been there to save me,without caring about himself..he for second also didn't thought about his life..what he thought was me..

he started loving us mom..he had paid enough for his deeds..whomever loved he loved by his all heart..and trust me, i can say loud enough to u, his love wasn't any fake, to get u back..he had loved us with his all cells, AND CRAVED FOR US..and I LOVE MY DAD MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THE WORLD...DID U HEARD ME...MORE THAN U...he stormed out of my room..by shutting door in thud..where i sat on floor, all numb..what i have done..I held my head seeing floor, where i could only cry..i doubted manik's love ..sorry i said his love as fake..what i got into me..when i seen his love for his kids, that to selfless but what i'm doing? abhay esa react kar raha hai..if manik had happened to listen me..what will happen..he will be shattered for sure..i should thank aiyyappa that manik isn't here..

i blamed him, in all way but he never complained a bit..abhay was right..i never tried to look back what manik had gone through, i was too into my life that i forgot about him..i forgot my own life..i forgot all the promises i gave to him..i forgot my promise i will fight for us..what so ever problem is..i forgot my promise that he will be my first priority was him always..i could have mend things if i really wanted..why couldn't i see this way..how? 

i was feeling dizzy..i stood up..i was feeling sleepy..i couldn't open my eyes..i wanted to apologize abhay for my stupid and shitty talks..but couldn't..

i saw the glass, in which i had gulped water minutes before, it had something , white at its bottom, little blur to my sight..i couldn't balance myself..i just fell on bed without my knowledge..i'm losing my senses badly..i wanted correct each thing..but i'm not able to do..i closed my eyes as i felt my eyes too heavy..where i felt a pair of hands making me sleep in proper position by removing my shoes.. i was covered with soft matters..i opened my eyes with great difficulty..as i felt a forehead kiss on me..i saw it was abhay..he smiled sadly..

sorry mamma..i shouldn't have shouted at u..now please sleep tight..i could see tears in his eyes..

sorry abhay..please don't hate me..please..i love u baby..i said..he smiled as he patted my head..

i can never hate u mamma..i love u too..he pressed a kiss on my cheeks..as he closed my eyes..let me sleep,away from all the mess i have done..i could feel he was still patting my head..and i can never get a son like him..he was mature like me but selfless like manik..where how much ever i hurt him, he make sure i was fine at the end..he was a gem..i couldn't ask for more..i couldn't..and then i fell into deep slumber..

%%

manik's pov

(here is this song-god as blessed him with soulful voice-atif aslam-just hear it..u gonna feel manik's emotions)

music played along..as my voice came out..yet again one more sad song..the only things which didn't left my side..my peace..my music..where i cursed the day, which bought me here, where i couldn't find anything not even my shadow..where my old went away leaving me all lone..

Kaash wo pal paida hi na ho
Jis pal mein nazar tu na aaye
Agar kahin aisa pal ho
Toh iss pal mein mar jaayen

Mar jaayen..mar jaayen
Mar jaayen..ho mar jaayen (x2)

i was actual asking for my end..i'm feeling i'm drowning in pit of darkness again..and no one to pull me..the one who should pull me, were pushing me back in deep..i could only see darkness that's it..i'm feeling i'm worst in whole world..i'm more cruel, she is right..i don't deserve anything in the world..especially my kids..

Maine jisse chaha he nahi
Woh shakhs kyo accha lagta hai
Kyon har lamha uski tamana
Dil ye hardam karta hai

i asked for one wish in my entire life, that was her..the love i got in my entire..who showed me what is love..who showed me how to love.. who taught me everything but she forgot to teach me how I should live without her..she showed me my worst without her presence in my life..now that she won't be there again, she will leave me, i'm asking my end..the only reason of my life..only reason of my breath..only reason of my heart beat..

Ho... Apne dil ke iss uljhan ko
Kaise bhala suljhaye

Mar jaayen..mar jaayen
Mar jaayen..ho mar jaayen (x2)

Tu na mille jiss roz
Woh din kab, aasani se katata hai
Dil ka dhadakna saans ka chalna
Ek saza sa lagta hai
Dil he jaane bagair tere
Hum kaise jee paayen..

I was looking for one small hope but in vain, everything is turning out of my mind yet again.. don't I deserve anything in the world..will my life end by waiting for her only..will ever able to see that love in her eyes for me. I'm feeling one thing right now..is just emptiness..I feel lonely..the girl whom I love more than anything doesn't trust me..life can't be this pathetic..her words are still ranging in my ears..as my tears flew..I wanted one thing in my life, she isn't there in my life, then take me away from this entire world..if don't get her again..trust me I will end my life..im sure about it..

Mar jaayen..mar jaayen
Mar jaayen..ho mar jaayen (x2)

I completed song as I came out of my small studio in my home.. as I dashed out to my room's balcony.. waiting to get a sleep, away from everything..away from myself..i hate myself like no one..i feel myself pathetic..i feel like a shit in the world..i'm one horrible person anyone live with..my eyes deprived of tears..i wanted shout the world i'm feeling right now..but i'm scared what if people judge me..what if people, who love me also, leave me..i'm scared..i'm scared to death...as i leaned to wall all defeated..

i was looking ocean, finding my peace in them again with guitar in my hand..where i was lost again..i never knew i had failed so much, in her eyes..i felt I got some hope but she immediately snatched from me..

I felt someone beside me..i need not see, who it was..as he passed a glass of water to me..

i don't need abhay..i said with blank voice, it was alien to myself..but i didn't cared enough to notice it..

i'm not asking but i'm ordering to drink them..his voice was stern..i looked him, he was hurt but not more than me..i just took..and drank for his happiness..

he sat on my lap..with his hands on strings..as he leaned back to my chest..he was never a cry baby , he was strong enough to deal with things by himself, and i curse that, he got this attitude from me..where he started playing sad tone with his gaze on ocean..

she didn't mean to hurt u..its just slip of tongue.. and things are going all of sudden to her..she can't accept everything so easily..she needs time to get back things..she can't just forget everything in blink..which she as suffered from 11 years without u..U can't just force in her feelings to get a chance..u should earn it..I know process is little difficult but u can do it..i know that, u love her more than anything.. right? Where I could just smile at his words sadly..as I wanted shout and yell at people, yes I love everyone but everyone are forgetting even I have some self respect, which I have created myself..no one just served me with all respect and love..but I earned them with my hard work and my Love..

Ma-yes, abhay i love her..I love more than anything in the whole world..but In that process I lost myself very badly..Im not able find whom I'm what I'm doing here..im tired abhay.. just too tired.. I just run away from everything.. I had enough for this for life..I can't take more..I can't lose myself this badly..bohuth sambleke kada hu..aur ek waar nai se paunga Mai..I cried out something which I never dare to share with anyone..I kept myself the battle of 32 years of being alone, and it was definitely not a joke..where I lost all precious in front of my eyes all I could do was just see them going away.. where I can't stop them though i tried every best to stop them..i'm lost in loving her that much, i forgot even i have life..even i'm human..i bore everything all lone, no one took care of me, when someone came, but i ruined it..but i tried my best to hold and to correct my sins..and now..forget it..

ab-don't tell me u are giving upon her? he asked all sacred..where i could only see my son,  he was also drown with me..but i won't let happen that with my son..i don't let him have a life like i had..definitely not..i won't let him suffer alone..not like me..

ma-abhay, don't worry baby, ithna easily haar nai manega thera papa..i will try my best to get her back but i need myself a time..i need to cop up..i need myself some courage and confidence to deal with anyone..which i'm lacking..i need to balance myself..in whole i need time for myself..before dealing with Her and her words.. i hope u understand..he smiled as he hugged me with his all strength..i could only have something which i needed the most..where my eyes betrayed to spill out tears..

ab-i know, u will..and ur strong enough to deal with things..he smiled ear to ear..i could see a sea of satisfaction and relief in his face, which was no where to been seen in his face, he was stuck between me and nandini badly, he was getting more hurt because of our relationship, i wish we had normal family, where my son had been just like 10 year boy than a mature boy of his age ..as i patted his head..where he was going to slumber on my chest..he looked all innocent and cute baby of mine..i lifted myself from floor to check his right elbow..it was okay now..i sighed as i roamed around till he fell asleep into deep slumber..

i put him on his bed in his room, he was tired more than me, as i saw tired and red shot eyes of his..he has cried in buckets, for sure..the boy like him never deserves a father like me..i'm just shame on fatherhood..i cursed myself as i patted sitting next to him..where he clutched my hand in tight as if i vanish..i kissed his forehead..where he smiled in his slumber..a little though..but put some peace in my heart..i was blessed to have him..i was..

i covered him with duvet  as i walked to her room without turning off the lights as i know he is scared of darkness like me..i went to her room get little warmth from her, which i need for myself..as next day was one heck day, where i will go all insane..i had actually forgot about dates, all thanks to their entry in my life..my life once again went upside and down..and when she reminded me, i was too numb to recover..i don't knew what to do..what to say what not..what if i say any stupid, which will harm my last essence of relationship with her..i was scared..but..i was sacred to lose her, lose my only world..whom i finding for last 11 years of my life..i'm going insane now only..she is right i should not show her my face, its best if i won't come across her..i don't want more heart breaks for our relationship..we had enough to deal with..

as i sat on the bed..nandini's words echoed in my ears..as i fell on my bed with fresh set of tears..which I covered up bravely in front of abhay..but I couldn't hold more..and ended up with one..

flashback..

i came to our apartment all tired, i was feeling such worse that i can't even say or can I explain someone..i sat on couch to think what just happened..we were all happy few minutes back..and in minutes, it was again ruined.. god knows how..how she changed in blink..she was clinging like baby to me suddenly changed to monster nandini..the anger and hatred she had for me was something i felt like that day only..i felt so low..i needed someone for me..i know i won't share anything with anyone but i wanted someone to sit beside me till i needed..but i'm in mess..no one wants me..

i felt something ticklish on my legs..i looked down only to meet avni's new friend..i took him in my hand..where he started licking my hand..i just smiled seeing him sadly..

thanks buddy..i needed someone..thanks for being there..i said where he meowed in response..i lightly chuckled as i stood up to fetch some milk for him..he was hungry for sure..animals are better than humans, trust me..they won't judge u..like humans..they accept the way u are..they don't care that ur good or bad..but they all care about is u..i put him on my shoulder, as i put some milk in bowl..where he meowed in excited way..as i took them to put on dinning table as he jumped from my shoulder, to have them..as i started rubbing his hairs, sleeping on dinning table, where he was drinking milk in ever fast, he was damn hungry..maybe didn't had food..

he was done, as he jumped to go down..he was looking from some way..he turned to me..i knew what he wanted, as i picked him up..to take to avni, his new friend..

but don't trouble my daughter more..my daughter is too tiny to handle herself..so, don't trouble my baby okay..i said he just meowed in response, as i opened their flat door..i could hear some noise or in precise some loud arguments..but eavesdropping is wrong..i knew it was abhay and nandini..but i didn't want to snatch some space of them, as I feel I don't have any right talk between them..i walked to my baby room...she was sound sleep with bird..i smiled as i placed cat on some soft comforter..he hided feeling warmth as the voices of abhay were going high..somewhere i knew i was topic..i was about walk out..when i heard..

i won't come back and say things to u..i'm warning u, if u ever do something worse between all the four..trust me..u gonna see my different face..i hope u don't want to see my other side..do u?  i heard abhay's yell, he was going out of control in rage..i should stop him before he ends up somewhere he shouldn't with his mom, at least whom he love more than anyone..this is really not a good tone to talk with ur parents..at least not with the person, who gave up everything for them..i walked to stop fight between them..i was about to push nandini's room door..when i heard something, which lost all balance of mine..which i won't won't forget till my last breath..

"he is changing u..by his FAKE LOVE..to get me back"  

did she just said fake love..where i felt one thing that my heart blasted in all ways..where i didn't knew how to react..i started walking behind taking backward steps..all the voice went into my deaf ears..my heart was burning by another explosion..i just ran to my home..i didn't knew how to react..i was having heavy breath..all i could to was just shout at my temper..

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh................i just fell down..i couldn't collect yet another pieces of my heart..yet another words, which churned my whole body..i was feeling like to end my life at the moment..i felt like killing myself..all i wanted to stop that heart beat..where it echoed its disaster to me again..what hurt me more..it was from her..the girl, whom i loved more than anything on the world..she just said my love was fake to my kids to get back her..did she think i'm so cruel..did she thought that cheap about me..or what she thought about me..what..what? god i'm human i'm not machine who won't get hurt..please look for some mercy upon me..if u could..warna let me die at least in peace..

flashback ends

Yet another lady said my love was fake.. whom I gave all love in world.. I could only laugh at my state.. Do I look so opportunist to people, that I bloody use my kids to get her back.. couldn't she see that I loved them genuinely..with all my heart.. I accept my sin that hated them but right at this second I love them with all my heart..but at the end all I could hear was my love was fake..if some other person would have told me i have not been this hurt but that came from her, who knew what love was for me..did my love was fake to them..shayad mera pyaar mai kami hogi..that everyone say that my love was fake..

I was badly losing my sense... I held her photo near my heart, complaining her about my life..where she was listening with all mute..because she is frame na..she can't come to me to say something..and I'm saying to her because she won't judge me, like others do..her smile and this warmness in this room comforted me little..as I closed my eyes, to get ready for my another worst day.. deciding that I won't come infront of her tomorrow..not because only for our relationship and her but for myself..my heart can't bear such heart breaks that early..let me take break for myself before meeting another worst situation..

Where I felt soft duvet covering me..I opened my eyes to see if it was She.. but it was abhay.. didn't I made him sleep..he just palmed my eyes before rubbing my tears..he patted my forehead..where I soon fell into slumber..but how??

Narrator's pov..

Abhay smiled lightly..as he pulled out sleeping pills from his pocket..

Hope u both sleep tightly without any nightmare.. hope u both cope without any further mishap..hope to have a beautiful family of ours soon..Abhay said with sad smile as he walked out seeing her picture in manik's hand..

##

Nandini's pov

I opened my eyes..it felt so heavy.. aiyyappa only knows what is happening with me..I looked around it was 10 in morning..first person I remember was Manik..I just ran out of my room to our flat after freshen up..but only to be stopped with well dressed up and stylish son of mine..

Nandini's attire

The person u are going to search will not be seen to u today. So, don't worry..come and have ur breakfast.. we are getting late for class..he said as he was setting table for breakfast.. but his words washed out all hope to see manik..though Abhay saw my sad face he chose to keep quiet..I silently sat on chair..I was thinking and cursing myself for the mess I have done..where I lost some respect in my son's eye for sure..I knew what wrong I did but u can't expect a warm welcome from my side too..after whatever i gone through..its really isn't easy for me..

but I did a deed, purposely to hurt him and it got successful but my heart it is breaking bit by bit where pain is unbearable..what he most going through..what idiotic work I have done..I slapped my forehead..but my trance was broken by morsel of food near my mouth..I looked abhay..he sat next to me.. as he started feeding me, he wasn't a boy who gonna drag things, how badly u treat him..but at the end if he loves u, he will show that love to u without hesitation.. keeping his pain aside..he won't carry grudges unlike other people.. and all thanks to his dad..from whom he had got this beautiful and selfless attitude..their kind of love was something called selflessness, which is rare to found on this earth.. for which I fell for Manik..but I said his love was fake..im insane for sure..if i couldn't understand or see his genuine love for his kids..

Abhay where is he?? I put up some courage to ask him..where he feed me another morsel of rice..

I don't know, jab utt kar deka he wasn't there.. it was 7..I saw the message..he said he will come to workshop directly..and he as recording in studio and meetings lined up in office..and I guess he won't come home, today.. he said without making more vulnerable of my state..

Tumne khana Kaya?? Aren't u getting late..I asked him as I don't want to make atmosphere more heavy.. because I don't want to taste my son's patience and anger..

Yaa.. I thought of making u eat first as I know u won't when ur mood is off.. and about class we still have one hour time to start..so, jaldi katam karo..he said as he finished feeding me.. Abhay always filled manik's place in my life..he was another caring person of my life..who always make sure my well being what's so ever matter is..

I heard Bell sound..I guess it's manik.. I ran giving dash to Abhay's boring careful lecture..I want see manik that's it..I hope he won't take my words seriously...I opened the door impatiently. But all my happiness flew in air as I saw an elderly women..I cursed Manik for taking my words seriously, when he knows some time I talk shitty things..

Ji..app..I asked that women..

Voh..Mai..Kaam bai..she said I couldn't understand..all thanks goes to not being in India..

Huh! I asked in duh tone..where abhay came from behind..seeing women from top to bottom..

Sorry app..he asked politely.. thanks to me for his polite nature..

Ji..Voh sabne bathaytha kaam Valli chai hai..she said..I was like what..

Oh!hi.. abhay greeted her as if he knows her, where women fell for his charm.. Malhotra's have tonnes of charm from where im still finding..

App chote Malik.. Abhay sab honge na.. Manik sab ka beta.. dekne Mai unke jes ho..neyonika malkin bathayathe..she threw required information..but why was she here..

Ahh..app andar ayye..he welcomed her by pushing me little as I covered whole door though I won't fit completely but kind of covered the space .

Mom..she is servant..she will work for us and from here after and she will help u around..unhone bathaytha..but Mai bolna bol gaya apko..he said me other set if information..to fill up my knowledge..

Aur aunty yeah meri mom, she will tell ur work..u just need to do them..women bobbed her head, where my head as zero percent interest in their talks.. because i was still stuck whether my Manik will come or not..

Avni's attire

Mrudula's attire

Both girls came out all ready with new friend of Avni..he looks so cute..

Mom bye..take care..Avni kissed my cheeks with mrudula..I just returned favor..i took cat in my hand, where he came to my welcoming hand to get warmth..

abhay, uske liye khana lekar jo..i said as i walked to kitchen..but stopped by avni..

maine already pack kar liye mrudula ke sath..i'm taking them for him..bye mamma..she bidded bye..huh! another baby of mine who loves and take care of him..

bye mom..and sorry for being rude..he said as he kissed my cheeks and he walked out with his guitar followed girls, as he pulled out his phone to call someone..

its okay baby..bye..i shouted all three waved their hand..as i saw our flat door..

Damage is done badly now, its time to see its destruction..and be ready for it..

god, i don't know what to say..all i want to see ur response..did u liked abhay or u felt offensive?in whole what u felt? did i made u cry? at one point i cried, when i wrote manik's pov, especially flashback..i feel so awful..god i hope u like it..please tell me whether u liked this update or not..i don't know it is correct or not? please fill me with ur feelings..so, that i could no my mistake in future parts, ur opinion may change ending of the story..

i guess many gonna blame nandini..not sure but kind of, trust me i guess nandini's feelings were valid, she needs to spit out her feelings too..but i don't know how u gonna take..anyway i'm waiting to read from u..if any mistakes or suggestions please notify me..

guyss conditions are same, please to fill up required target..i have already started next part, it is full of manan and kids..don't worry next part will be light enough to ur heart..i won't drag the d-day..as it is just outcome of their past, which doesn't have value in present..now enjoy manan back with lovey dovey but here and there some mock for sure..

lots of love..