Park Soomi

I'm sorry. I can't do this.

I blinked open my eyes with a sigh, these words still haunting me even though it had been a few days. Every time I let my mind wander, it would find its way back to that moment, ruthlessly replaying it over and over.

And this morning was no different. Same old routine. Same old thoughts.

As I got ready, I still recalled every emotion and feeling vividly: how joy transformed into embarrassment, how the exhilaration that had been coursing through my body like electricity jolted me back to reality.

You don't have to explain. It was the last thing I remember saying to him that night. I already had my answer. He doesn't feel the same way. And I just couldn't take the extra jab in the heart from hearing him say it out loud.

I couldn't believe that we had barely spoken or even crossed paths these last few days despite living in the same house. It was as if we wordlessly agreed to give each other space.

Or maybe I've just been doing a good job avoiding him.

I made my way downstairs, expecting the house to be mostly empty by this time of the morning. But to my surprise, the room was bustling with activity. Yoongi and Jungkook were chatting on the couch, Jimin was rummaging through the kitchen, and Misa was eating breakfast. Even Hoseok was here, despite his recent absence.

I was hoping to quietly slip in and grab a piece of fruit before retreating to my room, but to my dismay, Jimin noticed my entrance.

"Morning, Soomi," he greeted. I didn't respond as I made eye contact with Yoongi. The whole atmosphere seemed to shift, awkward energy radiating from the two of us. The confusion was evident in everyone's questioning stares.

Everyone except Misa.

"What's up with the two of—"

"Soomi! I'm glad you're up! We need to talk!" Misa interrupted Hoseok's question, and before I could even grasp what was happening, Misa dragged me back upstairs by the arm.

"You're welcome," Misa said as the two of us plopped down onto my bed.

"For what?"

"For getting you out of that awkward situation," she responded with a light chuckle before growing serious. "You still haven't talked to him, huh?"

"No..."

"Well, I may have helped you out of this one 'cause all the other guys were there, but my advice still stands. You should talk to him," Misa insisted.

Before I could protest, my phone vibrated violently against the bedside table. Misa picked it up, taking a glance before handing it over to me.

"Oh, perfect. Singer boy wants to meet up. Now's your chance," Misa chirped. Confused, I looked at the screen to see a text from Seokjin.

"A chance for what?"

"For one, to finally get out of the house. And two, to be able to talk to Yoongi! It doesn't have to be a big deal. The two of you, alone in the car, talk for a few minutes, and bam, one step closer to everything going back to normal."

"What's there to even talk about? I think I should just wait it out..."

"Come on, Soomi, you're just pushing things off. I know it sucks, and it's gonna take some time for you to get over him, but—"

"Hey, I am over it. It was just a little crush anyways," I said, but Misa didn't seem very convinced. "All I'm saying is, it's just too awkward and embarrassing to be around him right now."

"There's nothing to be embarrassed about," she reassured. "You liked someone, and you took a shot. It's not your problem the boy doesn't see you're a hot piece of ass with a hot personality. So just talk to him!"

I smiled widely at Misa's enthusiastic speech. How did I ever get by without her?

"Why do you always have to be right?" 

"You're only saying that 'cause I called you a hot piece of ass," she joked.

"Shut up, that's not true." I laughed while playfully nudging her shoulder.

"Well, the sooner you accept that I'm always right, the better," she cheerfully exclaimed. "So...

"...you gonna talk to Yoongi, or what?"

⋆⋅✯⋅⋆

"Why did you ask me to come with you and not Yoongi or Hoseok?" Jungkook asked. I knew the question was bound to come up eventually, but I still hoped he would steer clear of the topic.

"Hoseok's pretty self-explanatory. I'm not very fond of his company," I answered with a shrug while keeping my eyes on the road.

"Well, I'm flattered you enjoy mine, but what's going on with you and Yoongi? You two have been acting strange."

"It's nothing..." I brushed off his question. Thankfully, he didn't push it much further, quickly changing the subject.

"So, do I finally get to see your recording studio? No offense to Jimin, but his business meetings are a real bore. Your work must be way more exciting." 

"Sorry to disappoint," I responded with a chuckle, "but we're not heading to the studio. We're meeting, umm, here, I guess," I said while scanning the restaurant the GPS took me to.

Now that I think about it, why did Seokjin want to meet up here on a workday?

As I got out of the car, I caught a glimpse of Seokjin standing in front of the entrance. I guess I'm about to find out.

"Hey, Soomi, I already got us a table," he greeted with a small smile.

"Thanks, but, umm, why did you want to work here instead of the recording studio?"

"Oh, uhh, actually, I thought we could take a day off. I wanted to treat you to lunch, you know, as thanks for all the work you've put into the album." He shyly scratched the back of his neck as my eyes widened in surprise by the gesture.

"Wow, that's nice of you, but you really don't have to. You do pay me for a reason." I laughed.

"I know, but, umm, well, if you'd rather—"

"I'd never say no to free food, though."

Jungkook lightly nudged me, letting out a not-so-discreet cough. I instantly rolled my eyes jokingly as I caught a glimpse of his forced puppy-dog eyes.

"Don't worry. I'll pay for you."

He plastered a triumphant grin on his face as the three of us walked inside.

Jungkook did his best to act like he wasn't there while Seokjin and I settled into our seats. The conversation started a little stiff, but thankfully, it naturally became more comfortable as time passed by.

"I don't think I've ever asked why you got into the music industry. Why'd you choose to become a singer?" I asked.

"Oh, it was a childhood dream of mine. Kinda hard to pursue without a parent's support back then, though. My dad always opposed it."

"What about your mom?" The question naturally came out as I was busy with my food. But when Seokjin didn't answer, I curiously looked up to see that his face had fallen.

"She, umm, she passed away when I was a kid," he muttered. My eyes widened after hearing this.

"Oh my god, I'm sorry for asking—"

"It's okay. How would you know, right?"

I still couldn't help but feel bad about bringing the topic up.

"So...did you finally convince your dad of the singing career? My dad was never really been the supportive type either, so I could relate with you on that one," I said with a small smile, hoping to change the subject. But Seokjin's facial expression shifted once more. It was a strange look I couldn't quite decipher.

He seems almost...conflicted? Troubled?

"No, I never did. He's just...out of my life now."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that," I mumbled. I'm just making things worse and worse, aren't I?

But to my surprise, his spirits suddenly lifted, a smile gracing his lips.

"I should get going, but this has been nice, Soomi," he said. I was surprised by his strange behavior, but I returned his smile nonetheless. "Also, I wanted to give you this. Lyrics to the song I showed you the other day," he explained while handing me the sheet of paper.

"Alright, I'll take a look. Thanks for the meal."

Seokjin left without another word. I looked over the paper, curiously skimming over the words. My brows furrowed in confusion the more I read.

"What's wrong, Soomi?" Jungkook asked.

"It's nothing..." I mumbled, but I couldn't help but grow more and more concerned with each line I read. I was shocked by how sad and dark they were.

...feeling shackled down...

...longing for escape...

Seokjin had never written lyrics like this before, and if it were any other person I was working with, I probably wouldn't even bat an eye.

But Seokjin's been acting strange for a while now. I couldn't quite pinpoint when things changed, but I just knew things weren't what they used to be.

And I just had this gut feeling that something was wrong.

⋆⋅★⋅⋆

Third Person

The forced smile instantly fell as Seokjin exited the building, a heavy sigh escaping his lips as he kept walking further into the distance.

But suddenly, he froze in his tracks, the dreaded ringing reaching his ears. He looked at his phone with furrowed brows, contemplating what he was about to do. With one last exhale, he mustered the courage to answer.

"Stop calling me. I can't do this anymore."

——
{a/n}
Hi everyone! Please do leave any suggestions about the story so far! I haven't been very happy with chapters recently since I don't have as much time to write and refine the story, so I'd love to hear your feedback for when I work on rewriting in the future! 😊

But before that happens, stay tuned for the next few chapters! Things will start picking up again real soon. 💜