New Regrets
(Patrick)
This was ridiculous. Why was I chasing a student out of the mall? I kept telling myself it was because, as a teacher, it was my job to make sure my students were always okay. So I speed walked out of the mall and in to the parking lot. I knew he couldn't have gotten too far. Brendon was the one responsible for the car. So Pete was on foot. I heard his voice.
"Yeah. In front of Middleton's Mall. The main entrance."
He was speaking quickly into his phone. Pacing back and forth hard enough to scrap the bottom of those ridiculous shoes he was wearing. I took a deep breath before approaching. This was going to be difficult. I could feel it.
"Pete?"
His froze in place. Mumbling a few more words into the phone before ending the call.
"Leave me alone." He began walking deeper into the parking lot.
"I'm sorry." I called out, following behind him. Moving between the many cars. "I don't know why I'm sorry, but I am."
"Stop following me."
"Stop running from me."
"Why do you care if I'm mad at you anyway? I'm just some student."
"Exactly. And as just your teacher, it's my job to make sure you're okay."
He stopped and I exhaled roughly. Power walking between these cars is a work out. And I wasn't in shape like I'd been in highschool. Well, actually I was in better shape than I was in highschool. But that's not important.
"Was it also your job to drive me home Friday? And to take me to your house for a personal study session? How about coming to my house and staying for hours. Is that a part of your job description?"
"Pete-"
"Is it, Mr. Stump?"
I sighed. "No-"
"Then why did you do all that? You know, I actually thought we were like friends or something."
"Look-"
"A teacher has never paid that kind of attention to me before. It's always been about Brendon. He's always been the favorite. With all the teachers. Even with my parents."
"I-I'm sorry-"
"And I thought you were different. I thought maybe this guy actually cares. Even though he's a teacher."
"I do-"
"I mean why else would you stay in my room with me all night watching stupid shows and eating pizza?"
"Because-"
He interrupted me again before I could finish. I was trying my hardest to remain calm. Pete was clearly having some sort of meltdown. This couldn't all be because I saw a movie with my boyfriend. That didn't make sense. He must have been building up all this anger and frustration over time. So maybe it was best to just let him get this all off his chest.
"Are you even listening?!"
That was a cue to speak. "Of course."
"Then what do you have to say for yourself?"
"Look, I'm sorry if I-"
"Is your sorry supposed to just make everything better?" Calm, Patrick. Stay calm. "That's supposed to take away everything you did?"
"Honestly, I didn't really do anything-"
"Oh, you didn't do anything, huh? We made plans!"
I zoned out while he was talking. This was a tedious process. I'd gotten enough of being chastised for coming home late on Friday. I wasn't entirely in the mood to stand here and take lip from a student.
I stared into Pete's face as he droned on and on and on about absolutely nothing. He wasn't as bad as Andy. At least Pete didn't cry and become hysterical as he spoke. And he didn't raise his voice like Andy. His lips were moving really fast though. I wonder if I could shut him up in the same way I did Andy....
I grabbed his chin fully in my hand. His chatter died down instantly. So I could have stopped there. I should have stopped there. And I would have stopped there. If only his face didn't feel so soft in my hand.
"Just. Shut up."
I nearly whispered the words before I pulled his face down to mine. Pete stumbled backwards. But I lifted my other hand out to press against his back. Steadying him. His body went limp under mine but his lips kept moving. It was weird kissing someone taller than me. Especially when they weren't supporting their own weight.
I took a few steps forward. Holding him with me as I walked. My arm pressed against the glass of someone's car window. I shifted so that Pete was leaning up against the car. I could feel my bag being squished between his back and the car. Andy's t-shirts were going to be so wrinkled. A ruined moan slipped from Pete's lips.
I stepped back, keeping my hand firmly on his face. Wide, hazel eyes stared back at me. He looked terrified. Holy smokes. I was going to lose my job. I was going to go to jail.
"Excuse me?" I snatched my hand away from his face and turned to face the woman staring in our direction. She looked about middle age and she was holding hands with a small boy. Her eyes glared over at me before softening when she turned to face Pete. "Are you okay, young man? Is this man bothering you?"
I glanced back at Pete. My eyes matching his now. His eyes slid towards the woman. Narrowing a little. The look of shock being replaced with a look of annoyance.
"No, lady. I'm fine." I closed my eyes and beathed out a sigh of relief at his words.
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