My hatred for my mother grows with the same pace and intensity that her restrictions pile up for me. This swelling sense of hatred for her is probably equivalent to, or maybe more than, the amount of bullying I face every single day. All the things that are normal for kids my age are totally forbidden for me. Sometimes I feel like an alien specie. Should I wear some leggings today? Or maybe some skinny jeans would look good with the crop top I got on my birthday? This would be an internal conversation I'd have in a parallel universe. In reality, my everyday choice would be the truckload of polos and baggy trousers my mother gets for me from the men's section. Why you might be wondering? Well, whenever you succeed in finding the answer, I call dibs!
As a kid, I never had trouble making friends, granted that my appearance at that time wasn't a matter of concern for toddlers as much as it is now to teens. Problems in the friendship department arose when my mother hushed/shushed/shunned away every kid who tried their chances at playing with me. Started at 10, still going strong. Sometimes I wonder if it's because Mother's friend circle's as non-existant as mine. Could it be that she's jealous of me being good with people? Not my fault that she acts like Hitler that people prefer to maintain a distance when it comes to interacting with her! But yeah, perhaps that's it, she doesn't let me be free because she's unhappy with her miserable life. Though why would that be? She's a Mom, she can do everything, can't she? Wear everything she wants, go to the places she likes with the people she adores. Still I haven't seen her out of the house, always keeping an eye on me, only away during office hours. Funnily enough, quite peculiar how I'm even allowed to attend school. If it were up to her, I'd be caged in a box with no holes in sight, whatsoever, slowly dying and crying. No apparent distinctions from my current living conditions, though who am I to complain? People of this world fail to put an ear to the protests of human beings, let alone aliens.

The bullying and embarassent triggered everyday by my appearance getting too much to take. Although my endurance level has never been a sign of admiring but it's been on a real low since she cut my hair. It was fine, when I had to completely cover with ridiculous hats and caps, I still had hair. I was in the middle of a conversation one day with my cousin, he lives with us; the only human interaction I'm allowed to have, though she's beginning to have issues with that too. She arrived home from work, one look at me with my sinful hair down had her come sprinting towards. Grabbed by my arm, I was practically dragged towards the bathroom. She quickly took out some scissors and a shaving machine and before I could process the events around me, I was touching a plain, prickly surface on my head. The amount of shock stole my voice from me. I wanted to scream but it only felt like a nightmare. Coming to my senses, I dropped to my knees and started gathering all the fallen hair. The last bit of 'me' that I had possession of, was snatched from me, felt like my wings had been cut off. I was a fool to believe I had any in the first place. Unable to do anything, I could only scream and cry but it was only my wild imagination that made me believe I had some kind of control over my emotions as well. I dared ask, why such cruelty? The persistent stream of words that continued to hit my ear from day one were thrown at me yet again with no sense of penitence, "It's for the better, it's for the best." One deadly look from her and I was hushed, the stream of tears down my face was another constant. Here goes another night of crying myself to sleep.
The annoying obsession with protection of hers has been shaping into an exceedingly mortifying experience lately. Dragging a 14 year old, every morning, to their office should surely be demeaning for Mother as well! Especially as everyone's attention falls on us as if admiring two clowns in a circus. The school's bullying is undoubtedly exhausting but it isn't anything compared to this. I can listen to the muffled whispers filling the air on my entrance. Sounds exaggerated but I still remember the last summer I had to spend in her tiny little cabin, not permitted to explore the office, not even allowed to visit the restroom alone. Footsteps of anyone treading my way, especially a male colleague, would instantly alert her to switch to her alarm mode. No tries of interaction by the fellow workers were carried out as the first few attempts made it absolutely clear as to how unwelcomed they were. Following these events, the people steered clear from the 'crazy duo'. If she weren't my biological mother, I would've made peace with the fact that no matter how inhumane the treatment is, her love is absent due to the dearth of shared blood/ of a shared DNA.
However 'sheltered' I am, the depressing life filled with her constant harrowing torture painted by the vexing colors of 'protection' has gone too far. The sweet smell of independence wafts up my nose as the chortling of kids hits my eardrums. Stroking the hair of one of my many forbidden but hidden dolls, I look outside and see gleeful kids running around playing like every other ordinary child in the world. That could be me, I think. Quickly brushing off the scandalous intention, I hide the doll, barely getting 5 minutes to play with it, yet again. If Mother finds out, I'm clueless to what she'll do next, I already have a lack of hair. Devoid of any dolls and now hair as well, I'm her perfect 'baby boy' as she's so fond of reminding me oftentimes. Any sign of femininity would shatter the shield she spent years building around me; the boyish clothes, the hair hiding hats, the scarcity of human interaction so not a single soul would detect the shrillness of my voice.

I wonder how life would be, if there were no 'her'. Vanished will be the constant nagging as I'll be enveloped by the warm embrace of tranquil freedom.

I'm gonna kill her and I'm not even gonna feel guilty about it because if she ends then this hell of a life will also halt to an end.

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I make my way to her room but it was locked. I knock and she asks who's on the door and for what purpose. I tell her that I'm here for wishing her a happy Valentine's Day and give her surprise the gift I got for her. She squeals in excitement since I never gave her any gift or even wished her happy birthday. For just a second I feel my heart hurt and I begin to regret what I am going to do but as I'm saying that it was just for a second, I quickly put all the guiltiness aside and wait for her to open the door. She open the door five minutes later because she's too shoked and surprised to to hear me say that. She still doesn't have a clue about what I am going to do. When she opens the door I just have a few seconds to look into her eyes and she hold no suspicion in them. She pulls me into a big bear hug and I clench the knife more tightly behind my back ready ro attack her and end the life of my nightmares. I slowly move the knife towards her back ready to attack her. My hands do not shake not for just once. 'Now or Never' I think to myself and not wasting even a heartbeat I quickly stab the the sharp point in her thin back. She immediately pull away screaming an ear piercing scream in agony. She touch her back which showering the fountain of blood she have in her fragile little body and her knees buckle beneath her. She falls down on the floor because she can't bear to sit anymore. She doesn't even get angry on me instead she gives me smile filled with her motherly love and says the last words, "Take care of yourself baby girl. I will never ever stop protecting you. I love more than my life, never ever forget that sweetheart." I feel nothing it's like the human in me died when I planned to kill her.

I made my way downstairs and hear the front door opening. My cousin gets in and I tell him the whole story. My mother always hid me from him. She never let me talk to him. He understands what I did and why I did. He let me help get rid of her filthy little body. We hide her in our abandoned basement which smells like excretion.

In evening I go with my cousin to buy some girly clothes for me and enjoy the night of my freedom. I bought many clothes by her credit card and we get to the house at night. We ordered pizza and Alex, my cousin told me to come into his room so we can watch a movie whilst eating our dinner. I change into my new clothesm I wear a black skirt which reaches my mid thigh and a tight red crop top which shows my belly. I know I probably look like a slut but I also want to know how it feels like when you dress like a real girl. I make my to my cousin's room and sit on his couch after getting the pizza. He tells me I look gorgeous and I smile.

Now the movie has ended and I make my to my bedroom to get some sleep. I suddenly feel Alex grab my hand. I look behind me to see him and he suddenly pulls me to his side. I'm now in a lying position and he's on top of me.

"Oh how much I always eished to taste you!", he says and kisses me on the lips hard. I try to push him away but he's too strong.

"Now now, stop strugling baby. Your so called Mama is not here to protect you from me anymore." he tells me and starts ripping my clothes away. Tears start to roll down my cheeks and I feel really helpless. Now, every little thing she did to me is coming into my mind. She was protecring me from this beast! and I killed her! I start to cry out loud. Now, I really miss her. I start apologizing to her. I silently beg for her to come from any corner like she always did when Alex talked to me and protect mw from him.

I see a light coming from in front of me. I don't get what it is. Alex suddenly turns around too to see what is it. Both Alex and my eyes bulge out of their sockets when that light changes into my Mama. My Mama! "Mama! Mama! Mama! Help me!" I start screaming and she by her hands lifts Alex's body up. Alex starts screaming in horror and I cry even more. "I TOLD YOU TO STAY AWAY FROM MY BABY GIRL!" she yells at him and gets the knife out of her back and throws it in Alex's direction. The knife separates Alex's neck from his lower body. Mama makes Alex's body burn in fire by her hands.

After this she comes flying to me with her beautiful white wings and says, "I told you my baby that I'll always protect you. I love you baby."

"I love you too Mama!" I tell her honestly and hug her tightly never wanting to let her go now.

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Our parents always think the best for us. We should never ever hurt them.
The real Valentine's Day wish is deserved by our elders who love us surely and purely.