Astoria, despite being initially disappointed at the gender reveal, soon warms to the idea of having a son. She decorates the nursery blue, and puts stencils of broomsticks and trains all over the walls.

"Look, I've found these darling dungarees," she says on one of our many baby shopping trips.

I waddle behind her everywhere, getting more wearied with every step. But she always insists that I accompany her, wanting my opinion on everything from baby grows to breast pumps.

She attends all my antenatal classes, where everyone assumes we are a gay couple which Astoria goes along with before I can correct them.

And then comes the day of the fucking baby shower where Astoria plans to do the gender reveal.

"I've arranged for the Chudley Cannons to do a flyby over the manor at four o'clock this afternoon," she squeals as we stand side by the side in the kitchen making sandwich after sandwich. "I was going to keep it a surprise for you but I just can't contain myself!"

"And how, exactly, will they be revealing the gender?" I ask, thinking that Ron is going to wet himself with excitement.

"With banners! And wait until you see what they say!"

Oh, for fuck's sake. I already know that it's going to be something embarrassing.

Narcissa walks into the kitchen. "Has my son even been invited to this party? It is after all for his son."

"We've agreed he needs to stay away," Astoria says at once, fiercely buttering a slice of bread. "All he does is upset us and creates a scene, and that's really not good for the baby. He ruined both the scans with his attitude, and I refuse to let him ruin the baby shower. It's mine and Harper's special day."

"Um-" I say hurriedly upon Narcissa's sour expression. "What Astoria means is that the surrogacy agreement states that Draco needs keep his involvement minimal during the pregnancy."

Narcissa just shakes her head and makes her usual disapproval 'tut' she does whenever the surrogacy comes up.

"Fools," she mutters, leaving the kitchen.

"Ugh, I wish she wasn't coming to the baby shower," Astoria says, dolloping the egg mayonnaise mixture on top of the butter. "The old bag. Why didn't Draco take her with him? I'm sure his apartment would be big enough."

"You mean you don't know? Have you never visited it before?"

"Why would I want to ever visit his 'bachelor pad'?" Astoria shudders. "I bet it stinks of men."

"Well, I think Draco smells nice," I say without thinking.

Astoria stiffens.

"Well, I suppose you would," she sniffs, grabbing a knife which she uses to furiously slice and egg sandwich into quarters.

I sigh, feeling tired and also a little bit sad because I cannot conjure Draco's scent in my mind, just that I know I like it and I would recognize it anywhere the second I smelt it.

It hurts to miss him. But I'm not here for him, I'm here for the surrogacy, and it was always about giving Astoria her baby and not falling in love with Draco.

I'm exhausted by the time the guests begin to arrive, the manor slowly filling up with people making it somehow feel claustrophobic. It seems Astoria has invited everyone.

Ginny hugs me so tight when she arrives, despite our large stomachs making it tricky.

"Bloody hell, look at you!" She gushes, pressing a hand to my stomach. "I never thought I'd see the day when Harper Snow, the hater of babies, would actually end up like this."

"I still hate babies," I grit, glaring up at Harry Potter who has appeared behind her shoulder carrying James.

"Snow." Harry nods stiffly. "Congratulations."

Hatred rips through me.

"You've got a nerve showing your face here." I sneer.

"Harper, please," Ginny says. "Let's not spoil things."

"Oh?" I say, seeing nothing but red. "A bit like what he did to my family? I have been left with nothing thanks to him!"

I cannot believe the gall he has being here. He knows how I feel about him, how I cannot bear to be in the same room.

"I'm not here for you," Harry says, his face flushing furiously, "I'm here for Astoria and her unborn child. Her family has shown support to me in the past."

I feel so angry, I want to scream. And I have never wished Draco was here more. Draco, who probably is the only person in the world who understands what I'm feeling right now.

But I told him to stay away. I have no right to need or want him.

So, I suck it up. I stand back and let Harry pass. I do have to remind myself that he and Draco had made a sort of truce during the war. That there were times when they saved each other's lives.

I close my eyes and recall the time Draco told me about the Room of Requirement Fire during one of our morning strolls in the grounds. He had actually sobbed as he explained to me how he had been convinced he was going to be burned alive after witnessing his friend fall into the flames.

"It was as though I was in the middle of a nightmare, except I knew there was no chance of waking up. Goyle was unconscious and I knew I couldn't leave him, couldn't bear to witness the same agonising death I had just seen Crabbe endure. So, I carried him up a tower of desks, even though he was twice my size and weight. I thought about my mother and how much I wanted to survive for her. And it somehow gave me the strength to pull us both up to the top. And then... well, if it wasn't for Potter I wouldn't be here telling you this story today."

I cannot recall how long we had sat by the koi fish pond afterwards as he wept in my arms, drained from reliving one of the most traumatic experiences of his life.

An experience he had chosen to share with me.

"Okay, beautiful people!" Astoria calls, pulling me out of my thoughts and bringing me back to this horrendous party. "Time for the moment we have all been waiting for! The Big Reveal!'

With Astoria leading away with a skip, we all traipse out of the front door, standing on the vast lawn in front of the manor.

"Everyone look up!" she announces, pulling me to her side, clasping her arm around my waist.

We all crane our heads back, blinking up at the bright blue sky.

And then there they are: the Chudley Cannons flying on their broomsticks, all trailing bright blue banners behind them, each one reading the same thing.

It's a BOY! Congratulations to Astoria and Harper!

I close my eyes in complete embarrassment.

"Shouldn't it say Astoria and Draco?" I hiss in her ear as everyone around us halfheartedly applauds in confusion.

"Don't be silly!" she giggles. "You're the one doing all the work!"

"Wow," I hear Ron say impressively behind me. "The Chudley Cannons! And here I was expecting this baby shower to be a complete bore fest."

"Ronald!" Hermione scolds. And I don't need to look behind me to know she is smacking his arm.

Having enough, I turn and walk away.

"Harper?! Where are you going?" Astoria calls after me. "This is your moment, too!"

I feel ill, I feel so tired. I hate parties. They're only good for getting drunk and copping off with some random stranger. And I can't even fucking do that.

But I don't want a random stranger. There's only one person I want to see at this party. And it's the one person who isn't here.

The one person who I've told to stay away from me.

I lie down on my bed and press a hand to my stomach where the little boy inside is wriggling around and stretching his little limbs.

Draco's son.

I close my eyes before the tears can start falling.

*****