We are acting like a couple of loved-up, horny teenagers.

Draco spends every night in my room now, and every morning we wake up in a state of bliss. When we fuck, I'm not sure that either of us are even thinking about Astoria or the baby anymore. It has just become about our own selfish pleasure.

I tell myself that this is fine, that Astoria told me to do what it takes to get Draco wanting me. She had even mentioned that she knew we'd form a connection from the sex, so it's not like this was unexpected.

But it's strange because I've had a lot of sex before, and never have I 'connected' with any of my conquests. But then I never usually go back for seconds and I kind of had to with Draco. If our first time was anything to go by, then I would have certainly not gone back for seconds with him and thus no connection would have been made.

"What are you thinking about?" Draco says to me one morning, two weeks into our arrangement.

I am lying in his arms, recovering from a morning quickie.

"I'm thinking that I haven't seen Ginny in a while. I should probably go and visit her before she thinks you've killed me."

He softly chuckles, his body shaking beneath me. My head is on his chest and my fingers brush lightly over his Dark Mark on his left arm. What I am really thinking is how come I never saw my father's? In all those years, he must have hidden it under long sleeves and I never once found that to be strange, even on sweltering hot summer days.

"Would you like me to accompany you?" he murmurs, stroking my hair, "Or do you think that would be inappropriate?"

I lift my head, looking at him in surprise. "You want to come with me to visit Harry Potter's wife?"

He shrugs. "I thought it might be nice to get out of here. And I don't hate Potter. Not really. He saved my life once."

"He also nearly killed you," I say scornfully, remembering the time a student was almost slashed to death by another student. It had been all around the school, speculation rife about who it involved before we eventually found out it was Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter.

"Still, as I said, I'm happy to accompany you."

I really want him to come. But I honestly don't think it would go down well with Ginny.

"Ginny's not exactly enthralled about what I'm doing." I admit. "I fear she may just yell at you."

"It's because she cares about you." Draco says, shrugging. "I can take it. She'll probably be right, anyway."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm not feeling comfortable about this anymore. I'm worried that you're going to end up hurt. And I'll never forgive myself if that happens."

"In what way?"

He shrugs again. "Getting you pregnant, making you give it up. I won't even be allowed to be there for you when it counts the most."

"You don't need to worry, I'll have Astoria."

He frowns. "And you're going to be alright with that, are you? Me knocking you up and just leaving you to deal with all the grief?"

"Yes, because that is what I signed up for. Astoria insists you stay away for good reason."

"What good reason?"

"The connection. Between you and me. It's just a natural reaction from sleeping together all this time."

He suddenly sits up, the sheet falling down, revealing his toned torso. "You feel it too? This thing between us?"

"Well, yes." I nod. "But it's not real. Once we go our separate ways, we will soon see that. And then you and Astoria can have your child, and I can get on with living my life - my very much desired child-free life."

An odd look crosses his face. Disappointment? Whatever it is, it soon vanishes.

"You know what," he says, already climbing out of bed. "I think you should go and have a break from all of this. You don't need me upsetting your friend."

"Draco, is everything okay?"

I ask this because he looks and sounds hurt. He barely looks at me as he pulls on his clothes.

"I'm fine, Snow. I've just remembered I've got stuff to do today. I'll see you tonight, okay?"

He glances at me this time, and I nod, feeling confused.

*****

"Get out. Get out now."

Ginny is glaring at me, James sucking on her breast.

"I'm not going to just leave," I say, shocked at my best friend's reaction to what I've just told her. "I made a promise to Astoria, and I may well already be pregnant."

"You have fallen for him." Ginny hisses. "This is not an arrangement, this is a relationship."

"You're wrong," I say. "I don't do relationships. I never have. And I'm certainly not about to start one with a married man."

"You just told me that you can't keep away from each other, that your heart literally races whenever you're around him, or think of him. Merlin, Harper. You've fallen in love."

"It's not love, just a connection." I reassure her. "And one that will fade once we're apart."

"So are you saying that what Harry and I have is just a 'connection'? Or Ron and Hermione?"

"That's different," I shrug. "You guys all spent years 'connecting' before you fell in love. You don't simply fall in love in a matter of weeks. It's just lust. And it'll fizzle out in no time, just like Astoria said."

Ginny shakes her head. "I hope to Merlin you are right, Harper. Because otherwise I'm fucking terrified for you."

"Oh, please," I say rolling my eyes. "You're sounding dramatic now."

But her words sit uncomfortably with me, especially as when I return to the manor I find myself practically running into Draco's arms when he hurries down the front steps to meet me.

"I missed you," he says breathlessly between kisses, holding me hard against him.

He grabs my hand and leads me up to my bedroom where he shows me just how much he missed me.

Lust. Pure and simple.

And it's fine, because that's what is supposed to happen.

If Narcissa guesses what is going on between us, she doesn't show it. Instead, I spend painful dinner after painful dinner witnessing them argue over everything and anything. I feel so bad for Draco because it is becoming clear to me that it is not only his father who he is disappointing in life, but his mother too.

I want to scream at her that she should be more grateful to her son. And that she should have done more to protect him in the past. Did she have any idea the hell he had gone through in his own head?

My father was a shit human, yes. But he was undoubtedly a good parent. He had made me feel loved and secure growing up. Poor Draco never had that. His mother may love him, but she doesn't seem great at showing it.

After a particularly bad dinner when Narcissa used the term 'Mudblood' and Draco called his mother a 'twisted Muggle-Born hating bitch', I found him in my room, curled up and sobbing on my bed.

"What was that about?" I ask, walking over to him. "I'm not being funny but I recall you using that term yourself many times in Hogwarts."

"And why did you think I did that? Because my parents normailsed it. I couldn't understand why people reacted the way they did when I used it at Hogwarts. I thought they were all overreacting. Are you seriously telling me your father never used it in front of you?"

I shake my head. "My father would never have used that term."

Draco snorts. My stomach twists. Because I know it is coming before he even says it.

"Your father invented the slur."

I want to hit him. I want to scream and shout in his face that he is wrong. This man who he keeps presuming is my father is not him.

"Open your eyes, Snow!" Draco hollers in my face. "Your father was the sickest bastard out there! I witnessed him torture and kill a family of muggles. One of them was a three year old boy who wet himself crying. Your father didn't even flinch when he threw the Killing Curse at him. All because the poor boy's older sister received a letter from Hogwarts claiming she was a witch."

"No," I gasp, holding my hands up to my ears. "He didn't... He wouldn't..."

Draco pulls my arms down away from my ears, kissing away my tears before laying me down on the bed to fuck me.

The next day, I take him to my family home, because I am desperate for him to see what I see when I think of my father.

"It's all boarded up," he says unnecessarily as we look up at all the signs Harry had put up.

Property of the Ministry.
Trespassers will be prosecuted.

Draco takes my hand, using his wand to break through the magically enforced wall.

We wander the overgrown garden, hand in hand. And I look around, my heart clenching and breaking as I take in my childhood.

"Look," I say, pointing to the little wooden hut high up in the beech tree. "There's the treehouse my father built."

We go up, Draco standing back silently as I sit down at my old toy china tea set and sob. "The last time I played this was with him," I whisper. "He wouldn't kill a child, he just wouldn't."

"I'm sorry, Harper," Draco says sorrowfully. "I'm so sorry."

"I'm going to buy it all back," I say, my voice fierce and determined. "I'll use the surrogacy money to get every single memory back. Potter won't take my childhood. I refuse."

Draco says nothing, but just takes my hand as we leave the treehouse and wander up to the house.

It's all completely rundown after seven years of neglect. It makes me want to cry so much.

"I need that gold," I whisper, my voice trembling, "I need so much to have that baby for you and Astoria."

Again, Draco doesn't speak, but just holds me close to his side, kissing the top of my head and promising everything will be alright.

*****

The end of the month comes all too quickly.

Draco comes to my room the night before the pregnancy test, neither of us being able to say much.

I have a lump in my throat the entire time he undresses me and fucks me. And I don't miss the sadness in his eyes either.

"What do you want tomorrow?" He asks me long after the lights are out and I presumed he was asleep.

"I don't know," I whisper, staring up into the darkness, "I guess I want to be pregnant."

But it's a lie, a complete lie. Because I want - no need - another month with Draco.

I'm not ready to say goodbye to him quite yet.

"Yeah," he murmurs sadly, his voice hollow, choked. "Just like we arranged."

A heavy silence follows.

And, as he cocoons me in his arms, I feel a blanket of sadness fall down upon me, weighing heavily on my heart.

******