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CHAPTER 62: THE REALITY OF LOSS

❝ marcel is dead. ❞

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IT IS A VERY GREEK AND PROFOUND IDEA. Beauty is terror, Cami had said. Whatever we call beautiful, we quiver before it. And what could be more terrifying and beautiful, to souls like the Greeks or our own, than to lose control completely? To throw off the chains of being for an instant, to shatter the accident of our mortal selves?

Euripides speaks of the Maenads; head thrown back, eyes to the stars, more like deer than human being. To be absolutely free! One is quite capable, of course, of working out these destructive passions in more vulgar and less efficient ways. But how glorious to release them in a single burst. To sing, to scream, to dance barefoot in the woods during the dead of night, with no more awareness of morality than an animal. These are powerful mysteries.

The bellowing of bulls. Spring of honey bubbling from the ground. If we are strong enough in our souls we can rip away the veil and look that naked, terrible beauty right in the face; we let God consume us, devour us, unstring our bones, and then spit us out reborn. Nearly everyone in this godforsaken city has done it.

Music ricocheted off the walls as Enola moved swiftly through the crowd. She had her hands on her baby bump as if protecting it from the mass of stiff bodies celebrating the life of their old friend. Though she admittedly didn't know half of the people in this room. All she knew is that it was tradition to throw a big party after someone dies. And so she stormed into the kitchen of Rousseau's with a deep scowl on her face.

"We cannot run out of whiskey at an Irish wake. It is, like, the one rule." Enola warned the caterers before turning to find Elijah leaning against the doorway. "Whiskey is important."

"Whiskey is important," Elijah agreed. "I am certain Camille would have appreciated all of this."

"Yeah?" Enola smiled softly.

"Yeah," Elijah nodded confidently.

Enola looked out into the crowd of people in search of Klaus. She found him staring down at the memorial set up with sad eyes. He had been more silent than usual. Though she supposed he had a good reason to be. His best friend was murdered in cold blood. And even though they were able to kill the murderer, nothing would bring his friend back.

"He is going to be okay," Enola breathed out.

"He will do as he always does," Elijah sighed, eyeing Klaus sadly. "Ignore his feelings until they eventually go away."

"But they won't," Enola pointed out. "He knows that, right?"

But alas, Enola uselessly stood by with Elijah as Marcel stepped up to the memorial beside Klaus. He kept his eyes forward as he set a single white rose down before turning to leave. He knew there were eyes on him, but he refused to acknowledge them as he stepped out on the streets of New Orleans. After all, there was a second funeral he must attend.

Enola and Elijah shared a look before moving towards Klaus who stared after Marcel with sad eyes. He didn't turn to face them as he watched his adoptive son flee the scene. It hurt deep into his very soul, but there was nothing he could do. Any attempt would just make this whole situation worse.

"Give him time," Elijah muttered.

"Time will not bring Davina back," Enola pointed out. "The one chance to save her was ruined by us. Marcel has every right to be angry."

"Perhaps it is best I reach out to him," Klaus muttered. "Before that anger hardens into something worse."

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Enola returned from the wake exhausted. The first thing she did was change into a pair of leggings and a comfortable sweater before disappearing into the nursery to feed her daughter who she had left with Freya. Which reminded her—Freya was trying to learn if the prophecy still stood. She put her daughter down for a nap before moving through the compound until she reached the study where Freya could be found trying to use the bones Alexis left behind to see if the prophecy still stood.

"Anything?" Enola questioned softly.

"There are too many pieces," Freya answered quietly. "Everytime I get close to seeing something, it all just fades away."

Enola hesitantly set a comforting hand on Freya's shoulder. Almost immediately she was bombarded by a mirage of images: a page from a grimoire that has two pentacles drawn on it and a spell written around them, a beast with red eyes and elongated fangs, and a horrible werewolf bite of sorts. That is all she saw before hurriedly pulling away.

"Did you—"

"Yeah," Freya breathed.

"Finish it," Enola said, holding a hand out to Freya.

This time, Freya hesitated. Enola braced herself and was immediately immersed into a vision of the future. A page from a grimoire that has two pentacles drawn on it and a spell written around them, a beast with red eyes and elongated fangs, and then she saw Marcel standing in the middle of a bridge. Before she could question it, the vision shifted to an image of her covered in blood while she bounced her daughter on her hip. In the background she could hear the wailing of a baby. And then the vision shifted to her, on the side of an abandoned highway, giving birth to her unborn child.

"Oh my god," Freya gasped as they pulled apart.

"What the hell did I just see?" Enola demanded.

"Vincent told me he found a way to extract the serum from Aurora," Freya confessed. She scrambled to her feet before rushing out of the room with her sister in law following close behind. "I was busy at the time, but if Vincent did steal the serum—if he gave it to Marcel . . . "

"Then we are in trouble," Enola finished. "We need to call Nik."

Freya nodded before continuing down the hallway towards the foyer. Enola watched Freya disappear around the corner before attempting to call Klaus. She frowned when it went straight to voicemail. She was going to try again when shouting from down the hall caught her attention. She immediately lowered her phone to rush towards the ruckus. She found herself standing in the doorway of the room that belonged to Kol Mikaelson who stared into a mirror with wide eyes full of horror.

"Everything okay?" Enola hesitantly asked.

Kol jumped at the sound of Enola's voice. He swiveled on his heels to face her with wide eyes. He was a vampire, but she could clearly see the cloud of purple settled beneath his eyes. She knew he wasn't having the best time after the death of Davina. She was worried he was beginning to see things with how frantically he began looking around.

"Yeah," Kol finally breathed. "Everything is perfect."

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Enola paces the lengths of the foyer as Freya hovers over Aurora. They have had her comatose body wrapped in a white sheet and bound with chains for weeks now. They couldn't kill her because she had the serum running through her veins. But if Vincent had managed to extract the serum and give it to Marcel, they were all indeed in trouble.

Enola had called Elijah when Klaus didn't answer. She figured he would want to know what was happening. She had pleaded with him to bring her husband back from wherever he had disappeared off to. She understood where Marcel and Vincent were coming from, but in the end, she would do whatever it took to ensure the survival of her family.

"The serum," Freya whispered, slowly turning around. "There is no trace of it in her."

"Shit," Enola muttered, running a frustrated hand over her face.

"We need to get a hold of Klaus," Freya continued. "Were you able to get through to him?"

"No," Enola confessed. "I was hoping Elijah would be able to."

"Unfortunately that is not the case," Elijah announced, storming into the room with creased brows. "He is not answering."

"The power I stole from the ancestors—it was enough to deal with Lucien, but that power has faded." Freya whispered, looking down in fear. "If Marcel takes that serum and becomes the beast foretold in the prophecy, I will not be able to stop him."

"Locate Niklaus," Elijah demanded. "I will find Marcel."

"And if you are too late?" Enola inquired. "What if Vincent has already given Marcel the serum?"

"Then we are all screwed," Elijah deadpanned in an uncharacteristically destitute voice.

Elijah stormed out of the compound in true Mikaelson fashion, leaving Enola and Freya behind. A moment later their attention was drawn to the staircase where Kol now descended. He was tugging his jacket over his shoulders in a hurry, nearly stumbling over his own feet.

"Where are you going?" Freya frowned.

"Out," Kol grumbled, not paying Freya a single glance.

"But—" Freya grabbed Kol by the arm. "It isn't safe out there."

"It's not like it's safe in here either," Kol shot back.

"Okay," Enola clapped her hands together. "I get that you are upset—"

"Upset," Kol laughed in disbelief.

"But," Enola continued as if there wasn't any interference. "Freya is right. It isn't safe out there." Her eyes flickered between the two as she came to a decision. "So I will go with you."

"Enola," Freya tried.

"Watch Hope. I will be back soon." Enola announced, turning back to Kol who looked on the verge of arguing.

"Fine," Kol nodded. "But you are going to make yourself useful."

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Enola realized just how demanding Kol was when he gave her specific instructions to collect an object. An object that once belonged to his dead girlfriend. She found the request strange but went along with it nonetheless. Today was the end of the ancestors, he had claimed. She admittedly thought he was beginning to lose his mind, but he was her brother in law whom she killed once. She felt as if she owed it to him to humor his delusions. And so she wandered into Lafayette Cemetery until she found him hidden inside an empty mausoleum setting something up alongside Vincent of all people.

"Well, there ain't no party like a cemetery party." Enola whistled.

"Did you bring it?" Kol questioned.

"Yeah. Davina's favorite record." Enola hummed, handing the round disk over to Kol. She watched him break it into a thousand pieces before sprinkling it across the ground. "So how exactly does an original vampire get to go to witch purgatory?"

"I died there. I spent months there, trapped and tormented by the ancestors." Kol explained shortly. "But to accomplish any of this, we need you."

"So there was a reason you brought me along after all," Enola scoffed in both disbelief and amusement.

"Really, man?" Vincent groaned in annoyance. "Klaus will kill us if he knows we involved his pregnant wife."

"Then he won't know," Enola proclaimed. "What do you need me to do?"

"Just lay down here," Vincent sighed, motioning to the gap between himself and Kol which Enola hesitantly settled into. "Once we cross over, we're going to be in enemy territory. We're going to have to move quickly to conjure Davina and get the bomb set. Otherwise the Ancestors are gonna shut us down."

"Okay, well, maybe just make sure that doesn't happen?" Enola asked hopefully.

Vincent uses a sacrificial dagger to cut into his palm before passing it off so the others can do the same. As they prepared themselves for the ritual, he pulled out a vial of some foggy liquid and threw it back as if it were a shot, earning strange looks from his current allies.

"Really? Hemlock?" Kol scoffed in disbelief.

Enola holds a hand out to both Kol and Vincent. She couldn't help but cringe as their blood mixed with hers. Thankfully she was a hybrid which prevented her from catching any diseases. She sits between the two men while they lay back onto the ground as the chanting begins. The candlelight flickers and a gust of wind swipes through. Then everything goes still. She didn't exactly understand what she was doing, but it must've been effective seeing as it knocked both of them unconscious. She assumed that they were in the spirit world.

Enola wasn't really sure what Kol and Vincent were up to. All she knew was that they had two very different goals. One of them was concerned with seeing their dead lover while the other wanted to destroy the ancestors. She didn't even know if that was possible. She supposed she would find out soon enough. She was only proven correct when one of them suddenly gasped awake.

"Vincent?" Enola frowned. "What happened? Where is Kol?"

As if on cue, Kol shot up with wide eyes full of tears. Enola felt this gut wrenching feeling settle. She wouldn't know what to do if something like that were to happen to her husband. She didn't think she would be able to live knowing that she was the cause of it. Then again, she also had her children to look after. She was only shaken out of her dreadful thoughts when the ground beneath them began to violently shake.

"And that is our cue," Vincent announced.

Kol reached out to help Enola up. He exited the tomb, making sure to have a firm grip on her hand to make sure she didn't get lost in all of the chaos. Because at the end of the day, they were family. And family always fight for one another.

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Enola came home to complete and utter silence. This left her unsettled as she came to the conclusion that something must definitely be wrong. She hesitantly began to make her way through the compound. Her head would poke into every room in search of some life, but everything was empty. Until she reached the bedroom she shared with her husband.

Enola slowly pushed the door open to find Klaus standing out on the balcony. His back was to her, but she could tell by the way his tense muscles relaxed that he knew she was there. She peeked her head into the nursery to find their daughter asleep before continuing. She stopped at the double doors of the balcony, watching him in silence for a long moment. She didn't move to touch him, unsure if physical contact is what he wanted at the moment.

"Nik?" Enola asked quietly, prompting Klaus to slowly turn around. She immediately noticed the tears brimming his eyes. He looked absolutely shattered and she had absolutely no idea why. "What happened?"

Enola froze when Klaus dropped to the ground. The tears in his eyes finally began to spill as she watched helplessly. He kept muttering apologies and there was nothing she could do but set a comforting hand on his shoulder. He immediately melted into her touch before wrapping his arms around her torso. And she let him. She let him cry and cry and cry until they were nothing but tangled limbs on the bedroom floor.

"He—He is dead," Klaus whispered in strangled cries.

"Who?" Enola questioned, voice shaky. "Who is dead?"

Klaus didn't answer immediately. It seemed he needed a moment to collect his thoughts after everything that had gone down that night. He had lost more people in this past month than he had in over a thousand years. More people he cared about and loved. It hurt more than he could ever imagine. And suddenly he understood why so many hated him.

"Marcel," Klaus choked out. "Marcel is dead."

The reality of loss is really as bad as you think. No matter what anyone else says, it sucks. What has happened cannot be made right. What is lost cannot be restored. There is no beauty here inside this central fact. Acknowledgement is everything. You are made in pain. It cannot be made better.

The reality of grief is far different from what others see from the outside. There is pain in this world that you cannot simply be cheered out of. You don't need solutions. You don't need to move on from your grief. Sometimes you need someone to see your grief, to acknowledge it. Sometimes you need someone to hold your hands while you stand there in blinking horror, staring at the hole that was once your life.

Some things cannot be fixed.

They can only be carried.

"I got you," Enola whispered softly. "I got you."

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AUTHORS NOTE.
i remember when elijah killed marcel and played the victim to hayley. i really liked elijah at the start of the series. but i realized that elijah was worse than klaus. because you immediately know what you are getting with klaus. elijah hides behind this so-called nobility when it is really just pain old manipulation. there is only one more chapter left of this book and then we are moving on to the third installment of the series. i hope you guys enjoyed this update. until next time, my loves!!!