Clary has logged in

Clary: ....

Izzy has logged in

Izzy: Hello!

Clary: Hi?

Izzy: So..

Alec has logged in

Simon has logged in

Simon: I lost Jace

Izzy: You what?!

Clary: Simon!

Alec: Tell me how

Simon: Sure

Jace has logged in

Magnus has logged in

Jace: SIMON LEWIS!!

Simon: Um??

Jace: I'm scarred for life thanks to you!

Simon: How???

Magnus: You're just being dramatic, Jace

Jace: But you like saving my life

Magnus: Yeah, no

Jace: ...

Clary: I want to know what's going on

Izzy: Crap

Jace: Thanks to you Lewis, I was almost killed by ducks

Simon: And?

Jace: ...

Alec: Izzy, what's wrong?

Izzy: I just have to go

Izzy has logged off

Clary: I should probably work

Jace: You don't have to work

Alec: Yes, she does

Jace: Alec, go f*ck yourself

Magnus: He doesn't have to ;)

Alec: MAGNUS!

Clary: Very mature of you, Jace

Clary has logged off

Jace: ...

Jace has logged off

Simon: So..

Alec: Simon, how did you lose my parabatai?

Simon: Magic

Magnus: Seriously?

Simon: Um..

Simon has logged off

Izzy has logged on

Izzy: We have a PROBLEM!

Alec: Does this concern the end of the world?

Izzy: Probably

Magnus: Probably? Izzy, you have to know for sure

Izzy: I mean I'm pretty sure since all of the realms of hell are OPEN

Alec: What?!

Magnus: How...

Izzy: I HAVE NO IDEA

Alec: Has anyone escaped?

Izzy: Not yet

Magnus: Yet?

Izzy: I mean there are more demons than usual but..

Alec: So how do we close them before EVERY greater demon, prince of Hell, etc.. escapes?

Izzy: We literally need someone powerful enough to actually escape to just to do that...

Magnus: Well

Izzy: What greater demon is going to escape and actually help us though?

Magnus: No one

Izzy: And I thought I was done with work for the evening

Alec: Izzy, you literally have so many things to finish...

Izzy: And you have only one meeting left. How is that fair?!

Alec: That meeting is FOUR hours long, Izzy..

Catarina has logged on

Catarina: You guys know about the current situation, right?

Izzy: Obviously

Catarina: It's terrible, I'm worried

Magnus: We're all worried

Izzy: I guess we need to find another way to close all of the realms....

Catarina: I don't think there is another way...

Alec: So basically, we're screwed

Catarina: Or you can actually find someone??

Alec: What greater demon is actually going to help us?!

Catarina: The ones who don't want anything to do with us at the moment

Magnus: Because there is actually one

Izzy: Plot twist: it's someone we literally wouldn't expect...

Magnus: ...

Catarina: Like Lilith?

Alec: Lilith??

Izzy: Unlikely

Magnus: Very unlikely

Catarina: Izzy, you literally said it could be someone we wouldn't expect

Izzy: But the Queen of Edom? No

Alec: We're literally screwed, aren't we?

Izzy: Ye- WHAT JUST HAPPENED?

Catarina: We're not screwed at all

Izzy: We're good! All the realms are officially closed

Catarina: That's my cue to leave

Catarina has logged off

Magnus: Okay, but who the hell closed them??

Izzy: 🤷🏻‍♀️

Izzy: Apparently, the one who done it must have closed them from hell

Alec: Or somehow escaped without us noticing..

Izzy: Or they escaped and immediately returned to their realm

Tristan has logged on

Tristan: You're welcome

Magnus: ...

Izzy: You did this?

Tristan: No but my king did

Magnus: I-

Izzy: And that is...?

Tristan: Asmodeus

Alec: WHAT

Magnus: I'm so confused right now

Izzy: Why didn't he welcome us in person??

Tristan: ....

Tristan: I mean, if you want me to-

Izzy: Please

Magnus: What? No

Izzy: Alec?

Alec: Uh...

Izzy: Choose!

Alec: Neither

Tristan: You have to vote...

Alec: I hate being the tiebreaker

Izzy: There is literally no right or wrong choice

Alec: You're not helping

Magnus: Just say no

Izzy: That's not fair

Alec: I feel like I have to choose between my sister and my husband

Izzy: ...

Alec: Yes

Magnus: ALEXANDER!

Tristan: ....

Asmodeus has logged on

Asmodeus: You're welcome!

Izzy: ...

Tristan: Can't we get a thank you?

Magnus: No

Izzy: Thank you

Magnus: Izzy!

Alec: We don't thank a prince of hell or any demon ever

Asmodeus: I literally saved your lives!

Tristan: He's right, you know

Izzy: This might be the only time he does something like this

Tristan: Why do you say that?

Izzy: Because Asmodeus can't be trusted

Asmodeus: I can be trusted!

Magnus: No, you can't

Alec: I agree with my husband

Asmodeus: Husband?!

Tristan: My King can be trusted

Izzy: He's literally a prince of Hell

Asmodeus: And?

Izzy: And you can't be trusted...

Tristan: He can

Izzy: I'm surprised

Asmodeus: About what..

Izzy: Why did you close all of the realms of hell??

Magnus: To make himself look like a good person 🙄

Izzy: ...

Asmodeus: Because I don't want anything to do with this world at the moment??

Alec: You've literally been vanished in Edom for centuries...

Tristan: True

Izzy: You didn't take anything before returning back home??

Asmodeus: No...

Magnus: Liar

Alec: He bought something here...

Izzy: What was it?

Asmodeus: Poison

Izzy: WHAT!

Alec: Wait, who's the poison for?

Izzy: Me

Asmodeus: I don't even know you

Tristan: ...

Alec: Clary? Please say yes

Magnus: Alexander!

Izzy: The poison is for Alec, right?

Magnus: Excuse me?

Asmodeus: No

Alec: No??

Tristan: Technically, it is

Alec: You want to kill me??

Magnus: Kill my husband and I'll kill you

Tristan: It's not that kind of poison

Alec: What?

Asmodeus: It kills your mortal self and-

Alec: So it kills me? I thought it wasn't that kind of poison...

Asmodeus: Keeps your soul alive... forever

Izzy: Immortality?

Tristan: It does take you to the dark side though

Alec: No thank you

Tristan: That's not what I meant... you'll literally be half demon

Alec: Cool. No thank you

Tristan: You die in 1 year 22 days 12 minutes and 16 hours

Izzy: Huh?

Asmodeus: It's true

Alec: I'm just supposed to believe a prince of Hell?

Tristan: *King

Alec: Prince

Tristan: Well, Lilith lost her title so...

Asmodeus: Don't believe me, fine. But I did warn you

Izzy: The queen of hell is no more! Wait, how?

Tristan: Because of Clary

Clary has logged on

Izzy: Hallelujah! Thank you, Clary!

Clary: What did I do?

Tristan: You killed Lilith's heir

Alec: Wait, Jonathan was a prince?

Tristan: Officially, he took his crown after being resurrected

Clary: And??

Tristan: Lilith lost her title

Izzy: Wait. Wouldn't the true son or daughter of Asmodeus have to take their crown for Lilith to lose her title??

Asmodeus: Yes

Tristan: Well... yes

Magnus: What insane person would do that?!

Tristan: Ariel, of course

Magnus: Of course she would

Izzy: I thought Ariel was just an adopted daughter??

Ariel has logged on

Ariel: Who said I was adopted?

Tristan: I'm just jealous you could take the crown and I can't

Izzy: Ariel is adopted

Ariel: I thought I was

Clary: Okay, this is too much for me. Goodbye

Clary has logged off

Alec: Your king can leave now

Asmodeus: I don't think so

Ariel: Tristan, you can take the crown. You just can't take the crown

Tristan: Wait, I can?

Ariel: You don't have to be a true son...

Asmodeus: I wish you were my true son. At least I know you would take the crown

Tristan: I definitely would

Alec: You can all leave now

Tristan: Fine. For fuck's sake, take the crown

Magnus: What about never going to happen

Tristan: ...

Tristan has logged off

Ariel: Well, this has been fun. Bye!

Ariel has logged off

Asmodeus: It will happen eventually

Asmodeus has logged off