Chapter 36: Time Travel Trouble

A/N: The androids were flying through a snowy landscape.

Android 18: seriously, can we speed this up? It's cold as tits up here.

Android 17: you know, maybe if you stopped whining and helped me look, we'd... Oh! Oh, look! There's one! There's...

She saw it was a pink van with the words "LUCKY FOODS" written on the side.

Android 17: actually, second thought, we don't have to steal the first one we see...

Android 18: oh, I'm sorry. I can't hear you over your welching.

Android 17: ugh, whatever.

They flew down.

The owners of the van were outside getting coffee.

Chuck: so, Jones, uh, how's the wife and kids?

Jones: still dead, Chuck. Been four months.

Chuck: oh... I am terrible at small talk.

Jones: yes, you are. Huh?

He noticed the androids in front of the van. 17 of which was opening the back of it up.

Android 17: huh... Lucky Foods. Kind of ironic.

Jones: uh, young lady? Need you to stay out of our van!

Android 17: all right, guys, we're takin' the van.

Android 16 picked up the van.

Android 17: no, buddy, we're gonna drive it.

Android 16: oh.

He put the van back down.

Android 16: sorry.

Android 17: It's cool. Now you have a place to sit.

Android 16: Affirmative.

He went inside the back of the van.

Android 16: shotgun.

Android 17: not quite what that means, but hey, keep tryin', man.

She got inside the van alongside her sister and started the engine.

Android 17: bitchin'. Next stop: Casa de Goka.

Android 18: how 'bout no. New clothes first, Goka's casa second.

Android 17 scoffed.

Android 17: sisters. Am I right, 16?

Android 16: confirmed. She is your sibling.

Android 17 laughed at the response.

Android 17: she is...

The androids drove off.

You, Logan, Frostwing, Frieza, Krillin, Trunks, and Tien flying in the sky.

Krillin: you know, I should have brought this up earlier, but we should probably move Goka before the androids get to her house.

Trunks: It's been pretty non-stop here, so I'm a little out of the loop. What happened to Goka?

Krillin: oh, uh, she didn't take his medicine. Grape flavored. Go figure.

Trunks: yeah... go figure.

Tien: actually, I really need to go pick up Chiaotzu. Left him over at Kame House.

Meanwhile at Kame House, Turtle, Master Roshi, and Oolong were eating ramen.

Chiaotzu: So, how do you like my Chashu Ramen?

Oolong: Wow, that is frickin' tasty! What's in this?

Chiaotzu: Little bit of saké, soy sauce, bean sprouts, pooooooooooooooooooooor...k...

The last part of that sentence was said as he looked at Oolong.

Oolong: I'm delicious...!

Master Roshi: HOW OLD ARE YOU?

Tien and the others.

Tien: so I'm gonna go grab him before things get... weird.

Krillin: later, Tien!

Tien flew off in another direction.

Krillin: I can never read that guy.

Logan: who the hell can you read?

You and the others landed in front of Goka's house.

Krillin: wait, before we go in, uh, I wanted to ask... You ever think that Android 18 is, uh, kind of... cute?

You, Trunks and Logan gave Krillin a long stare.

Trunks: no.

Krillin: all right, then.... dibs, by the way. Quick warning: be super-nice to ChiChi. She can be a total.....

ChiChi flung open the door, smacking Krillin in the face.

Logan: holy hell!

(Y/N): she's like an attack dog!!!

ChiChi: Gohan! oh... It's you.

Krillin: yeah, fine, I pretty much asked for that one.

He said as his head started swelling up.

(Krillin Owned Count: 34).

Yamcha: huh? Hey, guys! How it is?

Trunks: oh, uh, Yamcha, right? How's it hang.... I mean, how you doing?

Logan: "sighs" you were so close and yet so far away.

Frieza: just like any other saiyan.

Yamcha: oh, you know. Hanging in there.

(Y/N):...............

Trunks: ah...

Yamcha: So, what happened? did Vegeta clean up the androids?

(Y/N): not exactly. There were 3 more of these androids. Not only that, but, they've proven to much stronger than they look when one of them beat up Vegeta and even broke her arms. Then after that, Piccolo threw a fit and flew off.

Krillin: and then I got a kiss by the cute one.

Yamcha: The clown?

Krillin: no, no, no. There's a girl now.

Yamcha: I don't believe you.

Trunks: you know, we should probably continue this conversation after we've moved Goka.

Yamcha: move Goka? But she finally stopped screaming.

Goka was heard from the other room taking a deep breath.

Yamcha: okay, w..... well, she's petering out.

(Y/N): how long has she been screaming for?

Yamcha: I can't remember actually. I lost count after the first hour.

(Y/N): O_O

Frostwing: those must be some durable lungs.

(Y/N): boy, I kinda feel bad for leaving ChiChi with her and Goten then. A Screaming Mother and a Crying child is a lot.

ChiChi: surprisingly, Goten completely slept through all the screaming.

(Y/N):............... you serious?

ChiChi: yep...... not one wince. He was really tired.

Krillin: we'll take her to Kame House! They'll never look for her there!

Yamcha: that is literally the second place they'll look.

Krillin: look, we're short on time and options. And who knows what those dastardly androids are doing?

(Y/N): ChiChi, may want to get Goten.

ChiChi: do you really need to tell me to do that?

(Meanwhile).

Android 17 and 18 were standing outside the van as a police car came up and stopped next to the van with two policemen coming out.

Android 18: wow. You actually pulled over.

Android 17: no, no, no, this is gonna be great. Shut up.

Tex: you two, this vehicle has been reported as stolen! You are under arrest!

They placed handcuffs on the androids.

Avery: sir, I have checked the vehicle and I have identified a male. And he is f**king big!

Android 16: You cannot sit in the back. I called shotgun.

Avery: he has a weapon!

Tex: cuff him!

Avery handcuffed Android 16, who promptly snapped them apart like a twig.

Avery: do we have any bigger, stronger cuffs?

Tex: yeah, they're in the car!

Android 18 picked up the police car and threw it at a cliff, blowing it up. She then proceeded to snap apart her handcuffs.

Android 18: all right, I take it back. This is fun.

Back to the others at Goka's house preparing to take refuge from the approaching androids at Kame House.

Yamcha: so where's Vegeta during all this anyway?

Krillin: oh, I'm sure she's off somewhere...

Meanwhile, with Vegeta.

Vegeta: GODDAMN IT! SHIIIIIIII...

She destroyed the mountains she was standing on. Back to You and the others, now inside the plane.

Krillin: ...coping.

Frostwing: I kinda have doubts upon that.

Frieza: oh, I can just imagine it. Her just sitting in who the hell knows where, crying like a little bitch!

She said as she gave a little laugh

ChiChi saw Gohan coming from the sky.

ChiChi: Gohan!

She said gleefully as She held Baby Goten in her arms still.

Gohan's mind: oh, good...

ChiChi: oh, I swear, I am never letting you get away from me again! We're gonna get that GPS tracking chip installed in your neck by the end of the week!

Gohan: doesn't that seem a little too far?

ChiChi: nonsense. Besides, I'll have one for Goten too.

(Y/N): you're not putting a chip in my child's neck.

ChiChi: what was that?!

(Y/N): I think you heard me pretty well!

Krillin: no time for arguing! Androids are comin'! Gotta move your mom! Get on the ship!

Gohan: where are we going?

Krillin: Kame House.

Gohan: isn't that literally the second place they'll look?

Krillin: less lip, more ship!

(At Kame House).

Tien had eventually arrived at Kame House and opened the front door and everyone shut up.

Tien: I'm here for Chiaotzu. We need to train.

Chiaotzu: but Tien... the doctor said if your shoulders get any bigger.....

Tien: That's why we don't see him anymore.

Master Roshi: wait, so you didn't beat the androids?

Tien: well, they broke both of Vegeta's arms... so, you know, that was pretty fun. Otherwise, it was a total wash.

He and Chiaotzu took off.

Oolong: I can never read that guy.

Master Roshi: well, you heard the man. Pig, fetch my laptop. We're gonna buy us a submarine!

Oolong: all right, but you're not allowed to name it after your junk.

Master Roshi: bitch, I'm buyin' it, I'm namin' it!

Meanwhile, Piccolo, Kami, and Mr. Popo were all on the lookout with Popo being heard whimpering.

Kami: mmm...

Piccolo: hmm?

Kami: hmm?

Piccolo: hmm?

Kami: hm-mm!

Piccolo: mmm!

He stood up.

Kami: hmm.

Piccolo: mmm.

He sat back down. All while this went on, Nail was getting annoyed.

Nail: (oh, just fuse already!!)

Back on the plane, You and the others were still talking with one another about the Androids.

Yamcha: so, both arms, huh?

Krillin: both! She was beautiful with a capital B..... I..... I mean, brutal! Uncomfortably brutal! I wasn't distracted by her eyes...

Gohan: so, wait... Trunks, I'm curious. If you came back in time again to help us, does that mean we already failed?

Trunks: actually, turns out that's not how time travel works.

Krillin: so you're saying I can't just take your time machine, go back in time, and tell myself not to date Maron?

Trunks: I don't know who that is. But no, you couldn't. I mean, you could, but it wouldn't be the same you. You see, when I travel back to the past, I'm technically going to a different universe...

Gohan: oh, you mean multiverse theory?

Trunks: wait, what?

Gohan: yeah. With every decision, it creates a branch in the timeline. Whenever you travel back in time, you're actually entering another parallel universe.

(In terms of Timelines anyway).

Trunks: how could you possibly..... ?

Gohan: I've been studying theoretical physics. Although, at this point, I guess it's just physics.

ChiChi: good. Then if that's all out of the way, we can start your review on cellular biology!

Gohan: Aw, but cells are boring!

Logan: is now really the time to be doing that?!

ChiChi: of course it is, what is more important that studying?!

Logan: I can name literally multiple things in this scenario that are more important than studying.

ChiChi: ooooooh, you must think you know what's best for Gohan, huh?!

(Y/N): alright, both of you just shut it! Arguing among ourselves isn't solving anything here!

Yamcha: I don't get it. If it doesn't affect your timeline, why even come back to ours and tell us anything in the first place?

Trunks: well, besides wanting to make at least one timeline without the world being destroyed... Bulma didn't tell me until after I'd already done it once.

Krillin then replied in a singing voice.

Krillin: and then she tried to bang you...

(Y/N): Krillin! 🔥_🔥

The phone suddenly started ringing with the call being from Bulma with a country ringtone.

Trunks: huh?

Krillin: oh, speak of the devil, that's her ringtone.

Trunks: what is that?

Yamcha: what is what?

Trunks: this music.

(Y/N): you mean this type of music that human refer to as country music?

Trunks: oh! This is country music?

Frostwing: I'm going to jump to the conclusion that there's little to any country at all in the future?

Trunks: no. Shortly after I was born, it all just vanished. Nobody knows exactly what happened...

Frieza: it probably faded out of existence, it sounds like rubbish anyway.

You merely rolled your eyes in response.

Yamcha: so, someone wanna get that? Kind of flying the plane!

Krillin: oh, fine.

He answered the phone.

Krillin: Krillin spea....

Bulma: shut up, I've got some important news.

Krillin: good or bad news?

Bulma: It depends... Is Trunks there?

Krillin: is this a booty call?

Bulma: KRILLIN!

Krillin: right behind me!

Trunks: hi, Bulma.

Bulma: Hey...

An awkward silence occurs between the two. You soon whispered something.

(Y/N): this awkward silence would make more sense if they were related in this particular timeline.

You whispered while looking into a specific direction. The silence was suddenly broken down by a gunshot on Bulma's side of the phone, shocking the others on the ship.

(Y/N): what the f**k?!

You all soon heard Yajirobe and Dr. Briefs through the phone.

Yajirobe: You missed me, four eyes!

Dr. Briefs: that was a warning shot, fatass! Now put down the fridge!

(Y/N), Logan and Frostwing: O_O

Frieza: sounds like a drunken hillbilly with a shotgun trying to shoot a bloated hobo.

Yajirobe: viva la Honey French Ham!

Three more gunshots were heard.

Bulma: yeah... Anyway, I just got the strangest call from some farmer in the countryside 50 miles out of Ginger Town; said he found one of our vehicles out there.

Krillin: wow, this is so interesting. Does it have anything to do with the androids we're fighting?

Bulma: shut up and it might. I'm faxing over the picture he took.

Krillin: you have a fax machine?

Trunks: what's a fax machine?

Frieza: how completely f**king empty is your pathetic future?!

Trunks glared at Frieza for a moment before looking to You.

Trunks: dad, why do you keep her around?

(Y/N): well, before, it was because I took pity on her from seeing her condition at the time, then, during me and Goka's time on Yardrat, I managed to get her in line. Hell, I even just managed to figure out a new technique.

Frieza: what the hell are you balling on a.......

Before she could finish, you grabbed her tail at the right spot and gently yanked. Causing Frieza to yelp and a small blush appeared on her face.

Frostwing: huh, odd. She didn't do that when I grabbed her tail.

(Y/N): just gotta grab the right spot is all.

Frieza soon got her tail out of your grip and moved it far from You.

Frieza: how dare you!!!

(Y/N): hehe, look at that, the great empress Frieza blushing from her tail being yanked.

She growled before looking away.

Frieza: idiot! Don't you dare ever touch my tail with your scaly hands ever again!

Bulma: everyone just shut up and show it to Trunks!

She faxed over a picture to the others inside the plane. Trunks got a good look at the picture.

Trunks: what? No, this can't be right! This is my time machine!

Krillin: maybe you misplaced it.

Trunks: that's impossible! I put it away in its capsule!

Gohan: are you sure?

Trunks: of course I'm sure! Here, just let me show you.

Krillin: wait, no!

Trunks pushed a button on his capsule.

The balance of the Ship was off due to the weight of Trunks' time machine, which caused Chi-Chi to scream.

Trunks: oh, no...!

Krillin: oh, my God!

Yamcha: It's on top of Goka!

Gohan: mom!

Krillin: put it back! Put it back! Put it back!

Goka began to scream in agony.

Yamcha: oh good, that's back...

(Y/N): Trunks, get it off her damn it!!!!!

All of this was happening while Frieza was laughing in the Background and Baby Goten had no reaction.

Frostwing:................... all this and not even a tear from the baby.........

Meanwhile, the androids were driving on a highway.

Android 18: so, I've been thinking about it... What do we do after we kill Goka?

Android 17: whatever the hell we want. Who's gonna stop us?

Android 16: not Goka.

Android 17: exactly. Speaking of which, 16, what's our ETA?

Android 16: We are currently 2,544 miles from our destination.

Android 18: oh, my God...

Android 17: hey, come on, sis, it ain't so bad. Let's turn on our good old friend the radio.

She turned on the radio which played a country music version of "Cat Loves Food".

Android 18: oh, that is ten pounds of nope in a five pound bag!

Android 17: right, right, sorry... Forgot we were out in the sticks.

Android 18: you know what? I think I know the first thing we're gonna do...

A/N: I can already guess on what it is.

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