A/N: after meeting him, Goka is informed by Trunks of an upcoming android threat in 3 years.

The group looked in shock as they saw that the space empress, Frieza was fully alive and well.

Vegeta: I knew it!

Vegeta yelled out as she charged at Frieza, thinking that she was going to get her. You however took a few steps in the way, causing the saiyan princess to stop herself in mid air.

Vegeta: the hell?!

Frieza:........

(Y/N): look, I know this will sound really off, but she's fine for now.

Vegeta: what do you mean fine for now?! That bitch killed me and she'll try doing it again!

(Y/N): trust me, I'm not exactly all fine with it either. But, I've been keeping my eye on her and especially keeping her in line throughout the time we were gone.

Frieza had her arms crossed and simply let out a hmph noise while looking away.

Vegeta: I'm only haft inclined to call bullshit on that. Actually, scratch that, I'm fully inclined to call bullshit on that!

Krillin: Kill Her! Kill Her! Kill Her! Kill Her! Kill Her! Kill Her! Kill Her!

(Y/N): wanna die again?

Krillin soon kept quiet.

Vegeta: are you absolutely positive that you "quote on quote", kept a monster like her in line?

(Y/N): Yes, I've kept her in line.

Frieza started talk under her breath.

Frieza: says you.

(Y/N): what was that?

Frieza glared at You, only for you to glare right back at her. She soon sighed in defeat.

Frieza: nothing.

(Y/N): good.

Vegeta growled a little.

Vegeta: well, I don't give a shit. That bitch killed my entire race and me!

Frieza: oh boo hoo. I'm playing the world's smallest violin.

Vegeta: grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

You stood in the way of the two before they could try to attack each other.

(Y/N): calm it. Let's not start a blood bath already. Especially after what you all were possibly going through.

Logan: wasn't really much to be honest.

Vegeta: give me one good fucking reason why I should!

Frieza: I too would like a reason as well. Because this monkey is really starting to irritate me.

You grabbed both Vegeta and Frieza by the necks and move them close to you. As you did this, the young man seemed to have looked a little worried as it went one and was wanting to do something.

(Y/N): because I've been through a lot for the many months and I've just returned home. And just for once, I would like some time without any drama bullshit.

Vegeta: oh wah wah..........

You held down a little tighter at their necks.

(Y/N): let me make one thing clear. I may have gained an attraction to you, there are consequence to pissing off a Legendary Pokemon.

You said while glaring into Vegeta's eyes before doing the same to Frieza.

(Y/N): now let's settle this. You two don't have to like each other. But, unless she tries any bad moves, I choose what happens to Frieza. Understood?

They both let out irritated growls before responding.

Frieza: fine.

Vegeta: whatever.

(Y/N): good.

You soon let go of them. The young man let out a sigh of relief from under his breath.

Frostwing: that was........ scary a little bit.

Logan: there's only so much a legendary pokemon can take before their patience and temper reach their limit.

Frostwing: yikes.

Logan: they're known to be the gods of Pokemon for a reason.

Vegeta: ....but I'm keeping my eye on you, bitch.

She said as she squinted her eyes at Frieza, who simply replied with an eye roll.

Tien: so..... I guess we're going to be dealing with one of those situations aren't we?

Logan: pretty much. It's a common cliche most shows and stories do. It don't really matter.

Goka: wow, I can't believe you guys are all still alive. I mean, I swore Cooler was gonna Yamcha at least one or two of you. Speaking of which... Hi, Yamcha!

Yamcha: hey...

He said as sweat dropped

Goka: so, which one of you guys ixnayed the old Cooler-cray?

Frieza: what you just used at the end doesn't even make sense.

The back of Vegeta's pink shirt showed a rainbow.

Vegeta: well, Kakarrot, while you and (Y/N) were off bumming around in space, I took charge of the situation. Gathering up your planet's measly excuse for fighters, and spear-headed an assault on.....

Bulma: right over here.

She said referring to the Young Man.

Vegeta: I was getting to that!

Goka: oh, if it ain't you, you old so-and-so! It's been so long since I, uh... I... I mean you...

???: We've never met before.

Goka: oh, thank God, or... Kami, or King Kai or Arceus according to (Y/N) ... I don't know; that whole thing is screwy.

???: actually, if it's okay with you... I'd like to talk to you in private.

Goka: oh, okay! One minute, guys.

Gohan: but mom, it's been almost two years!

Goka: I know, but I gotta go talk to this purple stranger.

Gohan: but I....

Goka: yeah, cool.

Frieza: hey.

She said getting the Young Man's attention.

Frieza: you're the one who killed my brother, correct?

???: uh yeah.

Frieza: good, he was a prick.

???: so I've heard.

Goka and the young man fly away from the others. As they did, Frieza simply stood near a rock while the majority of the others only looked at (Y/N) while asking why exactly she's alive to begin with.

(Y/N): "sighs" look, I'm still wondering why I did it as well. It must have been a moment of weakness. I saw her critically damaged on the ground and unable to do anything at all.

Tien: in other words, you basically did a Goka.

(Y/N): yep. But none the less, I've been keeping an eye on here for the many days me and Goka were on another planet with her.

Yamcha: so she hasn't tried killing you in your sleep?

(Y/N): she tried, but, I can go without sleep for weeks on end. And at that point, she basically didn't bothered trying to kill me or Goka in our sleep.

Vegeta's mind: bitch. Bitch. Bitch. Bitch. Bitch. Hey...... Hey, Frieza! Over here! Cunt!

Frieza just kept sitting there on a rock not even looking to Vegeta's direction.

Vegeta's mind: Fuckin Cum stain Lizard!

Frieza only continued to look away.

???'s mind: okay, Trunks, don't be nervous. She's just a normal girl.... just introduce yourself.

He then spoke out loud.

Trunks: so, you're Sun Wukong, right?1

Trunks' mind: DAMN IT!

(I mean, he's not too far off, Goku was based off him).

Goka: I'm Son Goka, yes.

Trunks' mind: roll with it.

He soon spoke out loud.

Trunks: I'm Trunks! Nice to meet you!

Goka: Trunks, huh? So you're the one who whooped Cooler.

Trunks: Yes. I was actually wondering... How did he survive Namek?

Goka just shrugged.

Goka: I don't know. All I know is that me and (Y/N) blew him up and that's it.

Trunks: If I hadn't shown up, all your friends would be dead.

Goka: hoo boy, the dragon wouldn't be happy about that one!

Trunks: also, I'm curious... When you fought Frieza and Cooler, you were a Super Saiyan, correct?

Goka: A Super Duper Super Saiyan!

Trunks: well, can you show me?

Goka: I barely know you, but... I guess!

She transformed into a Super Saiyan.

Goka: Ha-ha-ha-ha! Still kinda tickles... a little bit at the back sometimes too.

Trunks: yep, that's a Super Saiyan, all right! So, now that you've shown me yours, I'll show you mine.

He transformed into a Super Saiyan as well.

Goka: whoa...! What happened to your hair? It's yellow!

Trunks: so is yours...

Goka: It is?!

The group observing the both Goku and Trunks' Super Saiyan transformations.

Bulma: Blonde, spiky hair...

Gohan: Incredible aura...

Frieza simply let out irritated growls as she saw that there were two Super Saiyans now as oppose to one.

Frieza's mind: are super saiyans just suddenly popping up everywhere after I make some idiot mad?!

Krillin: Well, Vegeta, now that Goka's here to compare, we can finally say for sure that that kid's a Super......

Vegeta: utter one more word, and no dragon alive will be able to fix what I do to you!

Krillin quickly changed the subject.

Krillin: so, Tien, uh, have you been lifting? 'Cause you are jacked!

Tien: yeah, who knows? Maybe I'll be the next Super Saiyan.

Vegeta turned to Tien and started making growling, muttering sounds of annoyance and stifled anger. You and Logan soon began talking with one another.

Logan: hey (Y/N), doesn't the guy there look a little odd?

(Y/N): who him?

You said referring to Frostwing.

Frostwing: oh?

Logan: no, not him.

(Y/N): wait, really? I thought you were maybe introduce him to me or something.

Frostwing: I believe he was referring to the boy over there with the golden haired man.

He said while pointing to Trunks.

(Y/N): oh, him. Yeah, he does look a little odd.

Logan: yeah, kinda like having some familiar features kind of odd.

(Y/N): yeah, not sure what thought. Must be the hair cut.

Logan: you can't be serious. The horns and tail.

(Y/N): so he's got some small green horns and tail. So what?

Frostwing: they kinda look like yours.

(Y/N): yeah except that they're underdeveloped almost like mine were when I was........ oh.........

(Back to Goku and Trunks).

Goka: so, a Super Saiyan too, huh? That's cool... took Krillin dying for me to become one... Wait, did something happen to Krillin while I was gone?

Trunks unsheathed his sword and attacked Goka with multiple strikes, with Goka blocking all his attacks with one finger. Trunks gasped as he was completely shocked by Goka's power.

Goka: no, but seriously, how's Krillin?

Trunks jumped back and reverted to his normal form.

Trunks: It's just like B...... a friend of mine said; you're absolutely amazing, Goka!

Goka also reverted to her normal form.

Trunks: now I know that I can reveal to you my secret.

Goka: A secret? I love secrets! I'm awful at keeping them, though...... like, the worst!

Trunks: uh...

Goka: oh, but don't worry.... I'll totally keep this one, though. I promise on Krillin's life.

Trunks: umm...

Goka: okay, you're right. I promise on Vegeta's life.

Trunks: you promise on my Mother's life?

Goka: VEGETA'S YOUR MOM?!

Trunks' mind: DAMN IT!

Goka: I can't believe it! We were only gone for a year and a half..... and already a Super Saiyan. Kids grow up so fast these days.

Trunks' mind: ......I really don't think she gets which one of (Y/N)'s kids this is.

Trunks: No, wait, you don't understand...

Goka: I mean, it is kinda odd how we have a kid, especially since I haven't even see (Y/N) with one.

Trunks: well uh..... that's the thing. I'm actually not from (Y/N) and you.

Goka: wha......?

Trunks: I'm...... actually from him and Vegeta. And before you ask, it's kind of a long story that would be a long time to explain.

Goka: is it that he kinda liked Vegeta too?

Trunks: no, it's that he....... wait, you know that?

Goka: yeah, I heard that one guy say something about it back on Namek. What was his name again? I think it was Lucas.

(With Logan).

Logan looked up for a moment and growled under his breath about something.

(Back with Goka and Trunks).

Trunks: you know, I was actually kind of under the thought you would be weirded out.

Goka: well, it might be some sort of training that people do.

Trunks: act........ um yeah, that's it.

Goka: Man, good for those two though! I'm gonna go over there right now and congratulate 'em!

She turned around to walk back over to You and Vegeta.

Trunks: I'm from the future!

Goka turned back to Trunks.

Goka: ...for realsies?

Trunks: for...realsies...

Goka: whoa.

Trunks: listen, three years from now on the 12th of May at approximately 10 a.m. on an island nine miles off of South City, two creatures will appear. A pair of man-made monstrosities; half-human, half-machine! Crafted by a mad scientist from the now-defunct Red Ribbon Army.

Goka gasped

Goka: Androids?

Trunks: actually, the technical term is Cyborgs.

Goka: Androids!

Trunks: look, my point is, they're dangerous. Each of them on their own dwarf even Cooler with their power!

Goka looked at him, not really surprised.

Goka: ...And?

Trunks: and... they kill everyone! As in (Y/N), Logan, Vegeta, Krillin, Piccolo, Tenshinhan, Chiaotzu... Even your own new child you're currently carrying won't make it after a time he's born. The only ones that survive are myself, Bulma, and Gohan.

Goka: oh, wow...! Wait, you didn't mention Yamcha.

Trunks: oh, um, I mean, he dies, but... See, after he kept getting constantly getting rejected by my mom mixed with the constant mocking from just about everyone, he sort of...

(Quick Timeskip to Trunks' future).

Yamcha had hung himself in a dark room, possibly at Kame House.

(Back to Present).

Goka: Dark. Wait, what about me?

Trunks: I don't how to tell you this, but... you don't make it to the battle either. You die of heart failure the year before.

Goka: what? Why?! How?!

Trunks: high cholesterol.

Goka: from what?!

Trunks: according to the coroner, too much bacon.

Goka transformed into a Super Saiyan.

Goka: you take that back.

Trunks: but listen! In the future, Bulma has developed medication that will help level your cholesterol.

Goka was now in her normal form.

Goka: Is it grape flavored?

Trunks: I don't know. Yes?

Goka: 'cause I don't like grape.

Trunks: then it's bacon flavored!

Goka: yay~!

Trunks: well, now that we have all that settled, I'd better get back to the future. It was... interesting to meet my mom and dad. As I said before, I really need you to keep that a secret! One little slip-up, and I suddenly may not exist!

Goka: wait, but if you don't exist, then you don't come back in time, but then you could never tell me, which means I'd never know, you'd still be born... and... why does everything smell like copper?

Trunks: I tentatively leave this in your hands, Goka! Train well! Until we meet again!

He started running off.

Goka: oh, okay! Goodbye, Trunks!

Trunks flew off.

Goka: what a nice young lady! Now, to get my story straight...

The group soon ran over to Goka and Piccolo, who was beside her all of a sudden.

Krillin: Goka! What was that all about?

Goka: You guys... Androids!

Krillin: yeah... And?

Goka: um... On Mar.....

Piccolo: May.

Goka: May! 20......

Piccolo: 12th.

Goka: May 12th! At 10 p.m.--

Piccolo: a.m.

Goka: a.m...! Nine miles?

Piccolo: Nine miles.

Goka: Nine miles off of... North....

Piccolo: South.

Goka: South City! Two Androids will appear on May 12th at 10 a.m. nine miles off of South City!

Piccolo: In three years, I heard everything.

Goka: Please don't tell everybody!

Piccolo: Oh-ho-ho, I won't.

Nail: (I will.)

Piccolo: shut up, Nail!

Goka: 'Kay.

Piccolo: according to the kid, we all die to these Androids in the future. We have three years to train before they arrive.

Vegeta: well, maybe they'll kill all of you... but I'm not afraid of any over-touted washing machines. By the time they show up, I'll crush them without a thought, and then we'll see.... !

Goka: oh, hey, Vegeta! Nice shirt!

Vegeta: I... you....

Goka: pink is a good color on you!

Vegeta's mind: just take the compliment.

Gohan: Ah!

Yamcha: hey, there he is!

Trunks was inside his time machine in the sky.

(Y/N): wait wha......................?

Trunks: well, it's time for me to leave... I'll see you all again in three years your time..... but hopefully you won't need me... Mother, I hope to get to know you a little better next time. And Father, I wish I could've at least gotten to......

Vegeta: get the hell out of here!

(Yeah, couldn't have come up with any good alternatives to the original line).

Trunks waved goodbye to the group and disappeared.

Goka: by the way, I can teleport.

Krillin: What?

(Y/N): oh yeah, I forgot that you could be able to do that now.

Goka disappeared and then reappeared wearing a pair of familiar sunglasses.

Goka: check it!

Krillin: but aren't those...

(At Kame House).

Master Roshi: GOKA JUST DONE STOLE MY GLASSES!

(Back at the group).

Yamcha: Master Roshi's on the whole other side of the world!

Goka: Yup, yup! I just got to imagine him and, POOF! There I go! I learned it out in space!

Krillin was now wearing Master Roshi's sunglasses.

Krillin: oh, yeah... sort of forgot the obvious question there, but HOW DID YOU SURVIVE?!

Goka: Mmmmmuffin But.....!

Gohan: Don't say Muffin Button!

Goka: but it was! There's science and stuff!

Flashback.

You and Goka were at Frieza's ship trying to escape the explosion of Namek. You were looking around for a pod as you were still carrying the still unconscious Frieza.

Goka: see, while I was on Freezer's ship...

Goka (In Flashback): There!

She pressed the muffin button and a muffin appeared.

Goka (In Flashback): Yes!

(Y/N) (In Flashback): WHAT?!

Goka kept pressing the button and a bunch of muffins started appearing around You all.

Goka: YAAAAAAAAAY.....!

Namek exploded.

Goka: but when the planet exploded, the muffins actually formed a seal around us; both protecting us and feeding me all the way to Yardrat!

You, Goka and Frieza were in cluster made out of muffins floating around in space for a while.

Gohan: and that is...?

Goka: The place where we crashed.

(Flashback).

The muffin cluster crashed on Planet Yardrat with You, Goka and Frieza falling down.

Goka: The Yardies were awfully nice.

The 3 of you were surrounded by a group of Yardians. Frieza woke up and tried to shoot at them, only for you to wrap your tail around her arm and preventing her from shooting while You gave an intimidating growl, letting her be reminded on what happened on Namek.

They nursed me back to health, and even made a ship for me to come home in! (back to present) They also kept feeding me their sick... so now, I can teleport!

Yamcha: so, if you could teleport, and you knew Frieza's Brother was coming... Why didn't you teleport to his ship and stop him?

Goka: I kinda wanted to give you guys a chance.

Piccolo: please don't make a habit of that.

Goka: no promises.

Tien: looks like we'll have to put ourselves through the training of our lives if we hope to stand a chance against the Androids.

Bulma: wait, we don't have to do any of that! Hear me out: we just have to gather the Dragon Balls, have the dragon tell us where to find the guy who's making the Androids, find him, then murder that son of a bitch in cold blood!

Vegeta: As much as I love the phrasing of that, I'm gonna have to say no. And by no, I mean hell no!

Bulma: are you kidding me?! You heard Piccolo...none of you survive!

Vegeta: And I, as a Super Saiyan, relish the challenge!

Goka gasped.

Goka: you're a Super Saiyan, Vegeta? Show me!

Vegeta: I... well yeah, I just... I...

Logan: oh what, not in the mood to be bothered to do it.

Vegeta: what, does that third eye make you psychic?

Tien: no, but it does help him see BULLSHIT.

Vegeta: hey, you know what?...

She paused and squinted her eyes, then narrows her eyes.

Vegeta: F**k you.

She flew off.

Goka: you know, to be fair, I'm with Vegeta on this one. I wanna fight me some Androids! I haven't had a good fight since Freezer and Cooler!

Frieza: hmph. A mere walking pile of Tin can would be no match for me if I stood against them.

Frostwing: I feel a bit of ego coming from this one.

Logan: trust me, she's all ego.

Frieza: grrrrr!

Gohan: wait, so, the first thing we do after you get back--after being gone for a year and a half--is train?

(Y/N): look, you really want to be asking her that question. I've spend that said year and a half with her.

Gohan calmly closed his eyes.

Gohan: good point.

Krillin: well, guess that settles that! I'm off to go fire Kamehameha's at the ocean over and over.

Tien: see you all in three years. Good to have you back, Goka.

Chiaotzu: we're gonna go get McDonalds!

Yamcha: suppose we'll get moving on, too. Come on, Bul......

Goka: wait. Yamcha?

Yamcha: Yeah?

Goka: You're my friend.

Yamcha was touched by the comment.

Yamcha: oh, uh, heh, thank you, Goka.

He said before taking off.

Goka looked over to Piccolo.

Goka: soooo... Wanna go drive cars?

Piccolo: bitchin'.

The two soon took off as well.

Frostwing: hm........... so, what about us?

He asked Logan.

Logan: hm, do something for us to do until the next arc comes up.

Frostwing: sure.

The two then flew off as well.

(Y/N): well, I guess that just leaves you and I.

Frieza: I'm so delighted.

She said with a sarcastic tone.

Bulma's mind: now's my chance. I can invite (Y/N) over.

Bulma: hey uh..... since you seem to only live in a sky pillar and Frieza will likely only complain at you nonstop for it.

(Y/N): that is true. She will most certainly complain about it.

Frieza: I'm not spending 3 years living in a pillar.

Bulma: well, as long as you keep an eye on her, you two can come live at my place. We have enough room in capsule corp for you to stay.

(Y/N): hm, that could work.

Frieza: I guess that doesn't sound so.....

Bulma: I should warn you though, Vegeta's also staying up there to train and what not.

Frieza:........ I take it back, I choose the sky pillar.

(Timeskip).

Narrator: and so, time passed, Goka started training for the next few months as You and Frieza stayed in Capsule Corp. Bulma did try to take some chances at hitting on You without trying to make it obvious. However, those attempts were eventually halted when she had found out something happened between You and Goka during the year being gone.

Bulma: She's been Pregnant?!

Gohan: .....................wait what?

(Y/N): right.... I uh...... kinda forgot to bring that up when we arrived. A lot was going on since we came back and I was too occupied with Frieza that I was distracted.

Frieza: The vermin are making hybrids.

Logan: you were on that planet with them, how did you not know?

Frieza: you'll be shocked to know that I actually sleep like many other being.

Bulma: how did this even happen?!

(Y/N): look, it was hot on that day and Goka mistook what I was trying to keep myself from doing as Training.

Gohan: yeah, she tends to mistake just about anything for training.

Logan: I wouldn't be surprised if she thought that food would be training.

Goka: ooooooo, is food actually......

Logan: NO!!!!

Goka: awwwwwww.

Frostwing: sooooo how long has she been pregnant now?

(Y/N): from our last few months we were on Yardrat mix with the months we came back on Earth, uh..... approximately 9 months now.

Bulma: y....... you're not serious are you?

(Y/N): I wish I wasn't.

Goka: uh, guys. I know that this is an odd time, But, I think I just felt something broke.

(Y/N), Logan, Frostwing and Bulma: 0_0

Frieza: well I'm out. -_-

Narrator: and so, the second born of Goka and The first born of (Y/N), named Goten, was born. He beard tiny horns and a tail just like (Y/N). As this went on, Vegeta found ways to innovate her training.

(To put this very shortly, this story is different from the original timeline of the actual series and even DBZA. So some things will obviously happen differently and some characters might be born in different times because of this).

Dr. Briefs: 500x Earth's gravity? That's insane; you'd be crapping out your own spine!

Vegeta: I know; the challenge excites me. Look at my nipples.

She sent out a shockwave.

Vegeta: LOOK AT THEM!

Dr. Briefs: fine, I'll build you your ship. What's the worst that could happen, anyway?

Vegeta was inside the newly built gravity chamber in front of the controls. She pressed a button and then there was an explosion.

Vegeta: AAUGH! MY NIPPLES!

(Timeskip).

Gohan sparring with both Goka and Piccolo at the same time, with Gohan being on the defensive. Gohan then got kicked in the stomach by Goka before getting uppercutted by Piccolo and lands on a cliff. The cliff soon crumbled, causing him to fall down.

Goka: wow... he really needs to learn how to do....

Piccolo: yeah, I know. Still working on that. By the way, how'd you convince your wife to let him train with you?

Goka: we're on a field trip to the Ozarks... Please never tell her we were here.

Piccolo: what are you talking about? We're just studying.

Goka & Piccolo: uhhhhhhhhh...!

Piccolo: Let's go drive cars again.

Goka: yaaaaaay!

Meanwhile, Vegeta was training under 400x Earth's gravity, spinning counterclockwise, when You appeared on a digital holographic screen.

(Y/N): are you seriously this insane to work under this level of gravity.

Vegeta stopped upside down.

Vegeta: no, but you're upside down!

She started spinning again.

Vegeta: ...Now, you're not. Why the hell wasn't the

(Y/N): you know, it would be a lot more easier to count the amount of your ribs that aren't broken yet. -_-

Vegeta: work through the pain...

(Y/N): and exactly how are you going to work when your body collapses?

Vegeta stopped spinning.

Vegeta: please, the Princess of all Saiyans does not coll...AAAAAAAAPSE.... !

She collapsed and fell on the ground.

(Y/N): oh, well, will you just have a look at that... The princess of all two Saiyans on the ground.

She struggled a bit to get up.

Vegeta: Three and a half..... SHUT UP!!

(Y/N): oh, no, you're getting all huffy again! What a shocker. Definitely something new.

Vegeta: oh look, the stupid green dragon trying to be smart.

(Y/N): oh wow, I'm hurt from simply being called stupid.

Vegeta: okay, then how about DICK?!!

(Y/N): Arrogant Bitch.

Vegeta: Slimy Snake!

(Y/N): oh F**k you!

Vegeta: F**k you!

(Y/N): F**k YOU!

Vegeta: F**K YOU!!!

There was a long pause.

(Y/N): hmmmm........................................ My room?

Vegeta: .....................................

Later at Night, the sound of a bed shacking back with the sound of You and Vegeta was heard for some time in the night.

Vegeta: Oh, yeah, that's it! Keep going! Faster, damn you! Harder!

(Y/N): HYPER........ BEAM!

Vegeta: YES!!!!!!!!

You fired a Hyper Beam up through the ceiling of the room before you both panted in exhaustion.

Vegeta: damn. Not bad.

(Y/N): yeah. I'll say. Also got to admit, even with the broken ribs, you really... wait a minute.

Vegeta: what?

(Y/N): I think I forgot to use a condom.

Vegeta: ...The fuck's a condom?

A/N: another child coming underway.