Chapter 26

Midline Comparisons

Nika's smile slowly vanished. It's easing to know that he likes her enough to be willing to runaway with her.

It's the thought that counts na lang siguro, she thought. Even though she'd probably let him choose his family over her if that happens.

Nika hooked her hand around his arm while they were walking from the parking lot to the front door when she felt the pressure and tension on her thighs began to compress again. It hurt.

"Ser, liitan mo naman kaunti hakbang mo. Hirap mag-keep up sa 'yo, e."

He stopped for a second. "Keep up? Why?"

"Anong why?" Nagsalubong ang kilay ni Nika. "Ayos ka, ha? Ikaw 'tong umibabaw sa akin kagabi tapos kinalimutan mo agad pinaggagawa mo? Parang 'di ka nang babalya?"

Miko's eyes widened and his cheeks turned red after hearing her statement.

"O ba't ang pula-pula mo d'yan? Totoo naman!"

Kanina niya pa talaga sinusubukang indahin 'yon. She thought the strain would go away and her muscles would loosen up if she moves. But each time she walks, it becomes a bit tighter and it felt more strained than it was when they got out of bed.

She smiled when she noticed how the crimson blood rushed from his cheeks down to his neck and to his ears.

"Are you saying . . . it hurts to walk?"

"Tingin mo!" She grunted. "Ang sakit ng hita ko masyado ka kasing gigil kagabi!"

"Okay, okay! I'm sorry. Babagalan ko na."

"Teka." Nika removed her hand on his arm.

"Why?"

"Tingnan mo nga kung okay lang lakad ko. Baka mahalata ng nanay mo, nakakahiya!"

"Are you serious?"

"Ser, 'di ako nagbibiro. Masakit talaga," she said, taking a few steps past him so he could observe how she walks.

"It's fine. You're fine."

"Promise?"

Miko snaked his arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer just to plant a soft kiss on her temple.

"Yup. I'm sorry," he said.

Nika smiled. "Oks lang, ginusto ko rin, e," she said, leaning against him so she could whisper in his ear. "Galing mo na rin. Ten-thousand stars over five na rating mo pero 'di na kita recommended."

"Why's that?"

"E s'yempre 'pag recommended kita ibig sabihin p'wede ka rin sa iba. Ayaw ko nga! Akin ka lang, madamot ako. Pang Nika exclusive lang dapat lahat ng performance mo," she said with a grin etched on her lips, and he blushed for the second time.

They were both welcomed by a symphony in the living room. Miko told her it was his mom playing Vivaldi on the piano.

"Ikaw? Hindi ka talaga marunong?" she asked.

Umiling naman si Miko. "I know a little. Hindi ko natuloy, e."

"Hmm . . ." Nika looked closely at every corner of his face.

"Why?" Napahawak naman si Miko sa pisngi niya.

She smiled. "Wala. Parang mas okay nga na hindi natuloy. Sobrang unfair na kung gwapo ka, matalino ka, masipag ka, mabait ka, tapos marunong ka pa tumugtog? Masyado ka nang achiever buti naisipan mong magtira sa 'ming mga mortal."

He chuckled. "What are you saying?"

"Wala!"

"Nika!" Meredith finally approached them on the sofa when she was done playing on the piano.

She leaned closer for a casual cheek to cheek. "It's nice to finally meet you! I'm Kenny's mom, you can call me Tita Mere."

"Ah . . ." Nika nodded, flashing his mom a shy smile. "Nice to meet you din po, Tita. Ang galing n'yo po tumugtog."

"Really? I feel like nangalawang na rin ako. It's been so long since I played but thank you! Do you also play?"

Nika shook her head. "Hindi po. Tamang kinig lang po ng music kaya ko."

"I see." Meredith nodded. "Andy told me a lot about you! Tinatanong ko rin si Kenny minsan but you know him, he's quiet and secretive. Pero I've never seen him blush because of a girl!"

"Mom!" Miko chirped in, reprimanding his mother in a low voice.

"What? It's true! Abot ears pa nga blush mo."

Natawa naman si Nika. "Kinikilig ka naman pala sa 'kin, e," pang-aasar niya pa kay Miko.

"He does! He goes all quiet and cramped up before he could say anything."

"Stop it, Mom!"

"Ang cute mo, Ser. 'Wag ka na mahiya," sabi ni Nika.

"Ser?" his mother asked.

"Lambing ko lang po sa kanya. Sir po kasi unang tinawag ko kay Miko no'n kasi hindi ko sure kung totoong pangalan niya ba binigay niya sa 'kin."

"Oh . . . he told me you met at Aaron's bar?"

Tumango si Nika. "Opo. Nalasing kasi ako tapos siya 'yong pinalad na nasukahan ko. Long story short, bumawi po ako ng atraso sa kanya hanggang sa naging crush ko na. Ang cute kasi."

"He told me about that, too." Meredith smiled and Nika noticed how the little folds beside her eyes appeared. "You know sa bar din kami nagkakilala ng father ni Kenny? And they're both alike! Super quiet and timid. Very hard to approach tapos ang tipid pa magsalita."

"Sinabi n'yo pa po! Akala ko nga no'ng una robot nagre-reply sa 'kin kasi parang auto-generated 'yong mga sagot."

"She teased me. Sabi niya walking email daw ako before," singit ni Miko.

"You actually are! Super pareho talaga kayo ng dad mo. Babad na babad kayo sa work, pati sa personal messages tuloy mga reply n'yo pang professional tone pa rin."

"I see you're bonding over us?"

Nalingat ang pansin nilang tatlo sa nagsalita. Miko's dad appeared on the archway connecting the kitchen to the living room.

"Yup! We're gossiping about you," Meredith answered.

They transferred to the dining area for lunch when the steak was finally carved and done resting.

Nika expected his parents to be quiet and reserved, just like him. She recalled how he said they were raised in an environment where emotions were naturally suppressed.

But somehow, from what she could observe right now, it was the opposite of it.

O siguro dati lang 'yon? Medyo maluwag na ngayon kasi malaki na rin sila ni Andy? Nika thought to herself.

His mom was warm and accommodating, however his father seemed to be the meticulous one. She could tell how he's quietly observing her even without looking at her direction from time to time.

But it's fine. She knew it's only normal since it's the first time their one and only child brought home a girl.

So far, tingin ko naman 'di ako aabutan ng sobre, sa isip-isip ni Nika.

They stayed until 4 in the afternoon. Ayaw pa nga sana siya paalisin ng nanay ni Miko dahil mukhang marami pang gustong ikuwento tungkol sa anak niya at sa recent travel nila.

Meredith gave her a bottle of whiskey they bought home from London. She also gave her a limited edition sling bag and wallet.

Halos manlaki ang mata ni Nika sa hiya.

"Sure ba talaga okay lang na tanggapin ko mga regalo ng nanay mo? Parang sobra ata? Hindi ba 'to test ni Tita Mere sa 'kin?"

Miko chuckled, shaking his head. "No. She likes giving gifts. All you have to do is use it the next time she sees you. She'd appreciate that a lot."

"Talaga? Sure na sure ka talaga?"

"Yes, I'm sure."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"Feel ko kailangan ko rin tuloy bigyan si Tita ng regalo," sabi niya. It was a bit perplexing to receive such extravagant gifts from a stranger, most especially when she saw the brand.

Kahit alam kong baka barya lang sa kanila 'to, nakakahiya pa rin!

"No. You don't have to. Ganiyan lang talaga siya. Mom likes buying gifts for people especially when she knows they'd like them or find them useful. She doesn't really care much about the price just as long as she remembers you when she sees an item, bibilhin niya talaga para sa 'yo."

"So . . . sinasabi mo bang naalala niya ako dito sa bag at wallet? Paano 'yon? Ngayon pa lang naman kami nagkita?"

"I can't say she remembered you, but I'm sure she thought of you when she bought them."

Nika squinted her eyes. "Totoo 'yan, ha?"

"Yup. It's true. Promise. I know her well."

"Sige na nga. Maniniwala na ako sa 'yo," sabi ni Nika.

Miko smiled. "They're not bad, right?"

"Oo. Hindi naman. Nagulat talaga ako akala ko masungit sila."

Napailing si Miko. "No. They're not."

"Sabi mo kasi dati hindi sila expressive sa inyo, e."

"Yup, before. They weren't. Mahigpit sila sa 'min no'ng bata pa kami. But sometimes I hear Mom complaining to Dad with how they're treating us, with how they sometimes become overboard just for us to learn. Recognized naman nila 'yong area na 'yon, and they always remind me why I'm being raised that way. Then no'ng time na tingin nila okay na, little by little they finally let loose. My parents aren't that bad."

"Hindi nga. Iba lang talaga sa expectations ko." Napalingon si Nika sa gawi niya.

Miko was focused on the road and she couldn't help but draw out the similarities of his eyes, his nose, his hair, and his lips from his parents. Now she knows what came from who.

He looks a lot like his mom with a bit of stoicism and a pair of bushy brows from his dad.

"Ang cute ng mommy mo tapos daddy mo ang tahimik pero namamansin pa rin kahit kaunti."

"Dad's just like that. One way to know if he's already comfortable around your company is if he'd offer you a drink."

"Oh . . ." Nika nodded when she realized something. "Oo nga pala sabi mo dati alcohol enthusiast daddy mo."

"Yup. He is."

"Ser?"

"Hmm?"

"Ibig sabihin ba nito legal na tayo sa side mo?"

"Legal? Why? Were we illegal in the first place?"

Natawa si Nika. "Gagi, hindi! Kasi 'di ba gano'n sinasabi nila? Once napakilala sa parents ibig sabihin legal na 'yong relationship kasi hindi na patago 'yong dates."

"Why? Nagtatago ba tayo during dates?"

"Hindi rin. Sa mga bata lang siguro 'yon?"

"Hmm, maybe? But it's nice to know my parents could go along with you," Miko said, giving her a gaze with a smile drawn to his lips.

Tangina, Nika cursed.

It was just a smile and his eyes seemingly sparkling against the afternoon light. But it was enough to make her heart skip a beat, enough to make her swallow and breathe twice, enough to feel something deep inside her slowly melt away.

Palagi na lang gano'n. Ang lakas na talaga ng tama ko dito, she thought. 

"'Wag mo muna akong iuwi."

"I thought you're tired?"

Umiling si Nika. "Ayaw ko pang umuwi."

"Okay." He nodded. "Do you have a place in mind?" he asked.

She was about to ask him out on a date when her phone vibrated for what seemed like the hundredth time within the hour.

It was her mom, her aunt, and her cousin all asking her where she was and why she's not responding to any of their messages.

"Is something wrong?" he asked.

Napasinghal si Nika. "Pinauuwi ako sa bahay. Nangungulit sila bakit hindi raw ako nagre-reply."

"Do you want me to drive you home?"

Umiling si Nika. She quickly typed in a reply that she wouldn't be able to make it for their plans today.

Wala rin talaga sa isip niyang tumuloy.

Her phone rang and she immediately pressed decline.

"Was that your mom?"

"Oo." Napairap si Nika. "Wala ako sa mood kausapin. Drained pa energy ko sa kanila no'ng isang araw. Wala rin ako sa mood makipag-plastikan sa kanila ngayon."

"Nika?"

"Bakit?"

"Is it really that bad?"

"Kami ni Mama?"

He nodded. "I'm just curious. Do you mind if I ask?"

"Sige lang. Ano 'yon?"

"What if you talk it out with her?"

A smug smile crossed her lips when she shook her head. "Hindi ko gets kung bakit ako 'yong kailangang mag-effort kumausap sa kanya. Dahil galit ako? 'Di ko rin alam bakit anak 'yong palaging dapat mag-effort para i-please ang magulang. Bakit? Kasi buhay ako dahil sa kanila? Hiningi ko ba? Kung p'wede ko lang naman siya sabihan dati na ipalaglag na lang ako, ginawa ko na—"

"Nika," he said in a tone to warn her off. "Don't say that."

"Ang pangit pakinggan'di ba? Pero kung tatanungin mo talaga ako, seryosong sasabihin ko 'yon. Kasi hindi ko talaga makita 'yong point ba't pa ako tinuloy, e. Tingin ko kasi pabigat lang ako para sa kanila lalo na sa nanay ko. Tingin ko hinihintay niya na lang na makatapos ako para magkaroon na ako ng trabaho tapos wala na siyang responsibilidad sa akin. Job done na."

"But still . . ." He sighed. "Please don't say that."

"Miko, iba naman kasi talaga. Kung 'yong parents mo masaya sa 'yo, ibang-iba sa akin. Kahit hindi sila expressive sa 'yo habang lumalaki ka, at least alam mo na nandiyan sila palagi para sa 'yo. 'Yong sa akin kasi ni minsan hindi ko naramdaman 'yon. Kaya hindi ko maisip kung ano'ng sense ko dito. Pabigat lang ako sa nanay ko, dagdag sa iniisip niya imbis na 'yong bagong pamilya niya lang sana iniintindi niya. Kasi kung gusto niya ako, sana dati pa lang pinaramdam na niya sa 'kin. Sila naman mismo nagbigay ng rason kung bakit ganito nasasabi ko. Simula five years old ako hanggang high school nagmakaawa ako sa tita ko no'n kung puwede niya kumbinsihin umuwi nanay ko. Pagod na ako ngayon. Saka matagal ko na ring tinanggap na pera lang relasyon naming dalawa. Padadalhan niya lang ako kapag may kailangan ako, 'yon lang. Ang dami niyang chance na iparamdam sa akin na may nanay ako dati. Kaso inubos niya. 'Wag niya ako hanapan ngayon. Kasalanan niya 'yan."

They were in the middle of the road, and Miko pulled over in an empty curb. Nagtaka naman si Nika. Especially when he put the car in hazard and when he unfastened his seatbelt.

"Bababa ka?" she asked, looking out the window. There was a bakeshop nearby and a vulcanizing shop right across.

"No."

"E bakit ka huminto?"

Miko leaned in, reaching out to her. "For this."

He wrapped his arms around her and Nika sighed when she rested her chin on his shoulder.

"Ser?"

"I love you," he said in a whisper, gently rubbing her back.

"Alam ko," she replied.

"And I love you."

"Miko . . ." Her voice began to waiver.

"I can't wrap my mind around the idea of you wishing you were nulled."

"Kasalanan nila."

"Yes. It's their fault, and I hate how they made you feel that way."

"Gano'n talaga siguro. Hindi fair para sa lahat. Maganda na raw kasi ako, kailangan ng pang balanse. Abandonment issues binigay sa 'kin ng roleta."

He held her tighter. "How could you joke about that?"

"Wala na rin kasi akong magagawa. Ayaw ko na iyakan kaya tatawanan ko na lang."

Napasinghal si Miko.

"'Wag ka na mag-alala sa 'kin, Ser. Okay lang ako, hindi ko naman sasaktan sarili ko. Kung may chance lang siguro noon na mabigyan ko sila ng option at para 'di magsisi mga magulang ko, ginawa ko na. O kaya p'wede rin naman nila ako i-donate sa may gusto ng anak—"

"Nika?" he called, cutting her mid sentence.

"Bakit?"

"Nothing . . ."

"Anong nothing? Sige na, sabihin mo na. Don't be shy."

"Sabi mo kanina hindi ka makapag-isip ng reason kung bakit ka nandito."

"Hindi talaga."

"Can you please allow me to give you a reason?" he asked, pulling away from the embrace.

"Tulad ng?"

"So I could love you."

"Ha?"

"I don't really know much about these things before 'til you came along. Don't you think that's a reason why you're here? To show me something I'm capable of?"

She grinned jokingly, rolling her eyes at him. "Corny mo. Ikaw lang naman nag-benefit d'yan."

"Really? Ako lang?"

"Hindi ba?"

"Mostly?"

Umirap ulit si Nika. "Okay, sige. Pagbigyan."

He chuckled, reaching for her cheek to give her a kiss on the forehead, whispering, "I want to love you more" before they drive away.

***

Nika didn't want their day to end. But he needed to read over some files for their upcoming trial on Monday so he couldn't keep her company anymore.

Ayaw din naman sana ni Miko. He even suggested he could stay with her until 9 o'clock, but Nika also insisted he should go home to catch up with his backlogs. They just had dinner then he dropped her off in front of their building. 

Nika just finished doing her skin care routine when she plumped herself on the bed, rolling to her stomach before typing a message for him.

Nika
Ser, thank you kanina. Gets ko rin naman sinabi mo saka sorry din sa nabanggit ko, di ko rin idedeny na naiisip ko talaga yun minsan lalo na kapag nahahatak na naman ako ng sama ng loob. Saka thank you ulit. Sobra. Mahal din kita. Sobra. Wag ka gano kiligin baka di ka gano makapag aral dyan

Miko
Hahahahaha
Okay. I love you, too.
Thanks for today as well and last night.
How are your thighs?

Nika
Wag mo na ko chikahin mag-aral ka na okay lang tong hita ko gumagana pa

A smile was still lingering on her lips when a notification popped up on her phone.

Noella Clark
Umuwi ka dito bukas. Mag-usap tayo.

Napangiwi si Nika. Hindi niya rin naiwasan ang pag-irap niya nang mabasa ang message ng nanay niya.

"Ayaw ko nga. Bahala ka d'yan," she mumbled to herself.

She was dead set and firm on her decision. Hindi siya nag-reply. Hindi rin siya gumising nang maaga at nag-abala para umuwi sa kanila.

It was Sunday and she had nothing to do. She was in the middle of choosing between asking Klein to go out with her or stay in and sleep throughout the day so she could save her money, too.

Buti na lang talaga may sahod sa OJT kahit papaano, sa isip-isip niya.

Nika stood up to fill the electric kettle with water for her lunch (a seafood cup noodle) when someone knocked on the door.

"Nika, may bisita ka sa baba. Mama mo raw pati tita mo."

Agad na nangunot ang noo niya saka siya napatayo sa kama.

"Po?" tanong niya sa guard pagkabukas ng pinto.

"Nasa baba sila. Paakyatin ba namin?"

May choice pa ba ako?

"Sige po."