Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Omitted Truths

She has been stressing a lot lately. But it's not because of her internship. So far, it's actually one of the things that's distracting her right now. And if she could only live in the office, she would.

First, she's two weeks late. Maybe it's the Depo shot that caused her cycle to change. Kaya delayed siya ngayon. Or maybe it may have already stopped her period and she wouldn't be getting it for the next few months either. Or maybe the contraceptive failed and she's pregnant. Who knows?

She doesn't want to think about it too much but she was craving some food and drinks lately. Hindi naman weird, hindi rin naman complex. Like the other day, she was craving for Hokkaido milktea with pudding and buffalo chicken wings dipped in blue cheese. Wala rin namang specific trend sa cravings niya.

Baka tinatakam lang talaga ako, she thought. Kaso medyo masakit din boobs ko lately, ang bigat pa. Buti sana kung lumalaki, hindi naman. It feels the same whenever she's about to get her period. Ilang araw na rin ang lumilipas pero hindi naman siya dinadatnan. And she hates to admit it, but she's a bit cranky, too. But maybe it's brought by her biggest stressor for weeks now.

And that's her mom. Thankfully, wala naman siyang nasusungitan or natatarayan unconsciously.

Her mom's been messaging her non-stop as if they used to talk a lot before. Kahit hindi naman.

Naririndi na rin siya.

'Di nga kami close, e. Nika rolled her eyes as she scowled at the new batch of messages her mom sent her. But it was more like a list of requests.

As if gusto ko ring sumama sa outing nila?

Napasinghal si Nika saka pabagsak na hinagis ang cellphone sa kama.

She sat in front of her dressing table. Wala pa bang three minutes? Ang bagal naman nito.

Inangat niya ang pregnancy test saka nilapit sa ilaw. It was her second one. Negative ang result ng pregnancy test na binili nila ni Miko last week.

She watched the stick as it slowly revealed a single red line. Halos pigil din ang hininga niya dahil baka mamaya lumabas 'yong isang linya. Naaalala niya kasing may kaibigan siyang nagsabi dati na kahit daw hindi malinaw 'yong pangalawang linya, positive na rin agad 'yon.

But thankfully, there wasn't a second line on her stick. Even a faint one at that.

Nakahinga siya nang maluwag. It wasn't her first pregnancy scare. The first one happened when she was twenty and they were both drunk at the time. She forgot if they were able to use some protection back then and she wasn't on any birth control. Apat na araw din siyang kinabahan. It was at that time when she first decided to consult an OB-GYN for her birth control pills.

Ayaw ko nang ma-paranoid nang gano'n, isip-isip niya.

Especially when her monthly period came like clockwork. Kung delayed man siya, isa hanggang tatlong araw lang. Hindi inaabot ng linggo. At kahit papaano naman nagkakaroon din siya last time kahit mahina dahil sa Depo shot niya.

Okay, well . . . at least hindi naman ako buntis ngayon. Dra. Sevilla oriented her before about the possible effects of the contraceptive, but somehow, she wanted go in to ease her worries.

She was trying not to think about it too much when her phone pinged. Napasinghal siya nang bumungad ang panagalan ng nanay niya sa screen.

Noella Clark
Bkt d ka nagrereply?
Ano na yung tutuluyan natin sa bohol?
Patingin ako nung resort

Nika took in a deep breath before typing in her reply. Naiinis na rin siya dahil paulit-ulit na 'yong sinasabi niya.

Nika
Nag-send na ako po ng links ng resorts/hotel
Kayo na po bahalang mamili


Nika massaged her temples. Ayaw niya naman talagang mainis. She kept reminding herself that it's her mother, she still needs to be respectful towards her and she tried her best just to provide for her all these years.

Pero paulit-ulit na 'yong tanong at utos niya sa akin, nakakainis na rin. Saka puwede bang si Tita na lang kausapin niya? Bakit ako 'yong nag-aasikaso? Hindi naman ako nag-request na umuwi sila, ah?

She plumped herself on the bed, temporarily muting her mom so she wouldn't be notified when she replies.

But her phone suddenly rang, making her hitch a breath. Pero agad din naman siyang nakahinga nang maluwag nang ibang pangalan ang nakita niya sa screen.

"Tapos na debate ninyo?" she asked, answering the call. It's been four days ever since Miko and Andy flew to Madrid for the international debate competition.

"Yup! Katatapos lang and our team won!"

A smile automatically appeared on her lips especially when he sounded so excited over the phone.

"Sabi ko sa inyo mananalo kayo nila Andy, e. Congrats! Uwi ka na para mabigay ko na 'yong victory kiss mo," she said.

After all, she did promise him a victory kiss before the flight. Hindi kasi siya nakasama sa paghatid sa airport no'n dahil may pasok siya sa office. So instead, she promised him something he could look forward to during the competition and when he gets home.

"Of course. Anyway, I read your text. You took another pregnancy test? Ano result?"

"Negative naman. Napapraning lang siguro ako."

"It's okay, calm down."

"Paano ako kakalma? Okay, alam kong hindi 'to pregnancy scare pero paano kung huminto na talaga regla ko? Kinakabahan ako sa side effects. Hindi naman ganito dati. Dinadatnan pa rin ako kahit mahina lang. Paano kung dahil do'n sa shot mawalan na rin ako ng chance magbuntis? Gusto ko pa rin naman magka-anak in the future. O baka magbago, baka umayaw din ako. Pero gusto kong hawak ko 'yong choice na 'yon para sa sarili ko."

"Okay, hang on," he said on the other line.

"Bakit?"

"I'm reading something."

He wouldn't be able to see it, but she nodded in response. Nika chewed on her lip while waiting for him.

"Ano sabi d'yan?" she asked out of impatience and curiosity.

"It says here na it's normal to experience a change in your cycle and the shot may cause your period to stop. Pero it will eventually comeback once you get off the contraceptive and it doesn't cause infertility."

"Okay . . . " Nika let out a breath. She read about that, too. But she still couldn't help but worry. And perhaps, hearing it from someone else gave her a sense of relief.

"Sorry. Sabi ko naman sa 'yo napapraning na ako dito. Ayaw ko mag-alala pero napapaisip talaga ako sobra."

"It's fine. I get it. Hindi naman kasi 'yan 'yong normal para sa inyo. I would worry, too."

"Salamat."

"What can I do to make you feel better?"

"Uwi ka na please."

"Yes. Bukas na 'yong flight namin pabalik."

"Miko . . . "

"Hmm?"

"Miss na kita. May isang Friday ka nang utang sa akin."

Nika heard his soft chuckle from the other line which made her smile, too.

"I miss you, too. Anong payment gusto mo para d'yan sa utang ko?"

"Uwi ka muna. Saka kita sisingilin kapag nandito ka na."

"Fine. Anyway, I have to hang up. Nag-aaya sila mag-celebrate bago kami umuwi bukas."

"Okay. Enjoy kayo saka congrats ulit."

"We will, thank you!" he said.

Their call didn't last long. But she hoped it would. Because the temporary relief she felt easily dissipated and she was back to worrying.

Nang silipin niya pa ang thread nila ng mama niya e ang dami na ulit tanong.

Saang resort daw ba niya gusto? Siya na lang ang mamili. Siya na rin mag-book. Siya na rin mag-ayos ng itinerary.

Bakit parang ako lahat? Napasinghal si Nika't napairap sa kawalan.

Hindi niya maintindihan kung bakit ang ikli ng pasensya niya ngayon. She's normally patient and understanding and polite.

But last thing she wanted to do was to accommodate her mother. She doesn't want to be disrespectful so she's trying her best to work along with her. But it's just so tiring and draining at the same time. And the lack of effort from her mother's end was edging to her last straw.

Binagsak niya rin ang likuran niya sa kama saka siya gumulong padapa.

Nika buried her face in her pillow, gripping on it's edges before letting out a scream in frustration.

***

Indeed, she was just paranoid. Her period finally came after three days, and her cravings and mood swings were probably brought by that.

Miko's home, too. Pero hindi pa sila nagkikita ulit dahil busy naman siya sa office nila ngayon. He and Andy needed to catch up on some paperworks.

Buti na lang day-off ko ngayon.

Nika was planning to surprise him by stopping by at their office to bring some lunch. Nakigulo pa siya sa kusina ng bahay nila Lana para magluto ng adobo.

"Balak mo ba akong bigyan d'yan?" Lana asked, peeking on the pan.

"Oo. Marami 'tong niluto ko. Dalhan mo na rin si Mithi mamaya pagbalik mo sa dorm."

"Of course! Dalhan ko rin si Laslo."

Nika rolled her eyes. "Ako mag-aabot no'ng kanya."

"Ha? Why?"

"Para malagyan ko ng lason."

"Grabe ka sa bebi ko!"

"Bakit mo pa ba kasi binalikan 'yon?"

"Because . . . "

"Because? Ano?"

"Basta! You won't understand."

Napasinghal si Nika dahil sa sagot ni Lana. "Ewan ko sa 'yo. Kapag ikaw umiyak na naman sa 'min ni Mithi, babatukan na talaga kita."

Fortunately, around Makati lang din ang bahay nila Lana kaya hindi gaano mahaba ang biyahe niya papunta sa office nila Miko.

It's also the reason why she asked if she could cook in their kitchen.

It was quarter to twelve when she arrived at the lobby of Miko's office. She asked the lady at the reception for him and she was directed to go the third floor.

Most people were in a buzz. Parang hindi lunchtime dahil mukhang busy din ang lahat. Different phones were ringing most of them seemed to be in a rush.

"Hi," Nika politely approached a man who was walking along the hall.

"Ask ko lang sana kung saan banda cubicle ni Kenzo?"

"Ah, sa left side doon," he said, pointing out the direction. "Pero wala si Kenzo ngayon. Naka-file sila pareho ni Andy ng vacation leave."

Ha? Vacation leave?

"Po?"

"Sa Wednesday pa balik nilang dalawa."

"Ah . . . okay po. Thank you."

Nika was stumped while she was walking back to the elevator. Nangungunot din ang noo niya habang nag-iisip.

Ang alam ko may pasok sila? Sabi niya busy sila? So, bakit?

She reached for her phone in her pocket to dial Andy's number.

"Hello, Nika?" Andy said when she answered the call.

"Hi, Andy! Nasaan ka?"

"Ano, here sa office. Why?"

Her brows immediately furrowed. "Ah . . . talaga?"

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