12th April,

When I was told I had a miscarriage
It broke my heart each and every day
Our first baby
Then I remembered that i am a piece made of clay
This was something Allah planned
We planned but Allah is the best of all planners
Then I recalled
The beginning of a verse in the holy Quran that says"

On no soul doth Allah Place a burden greater than it can bear"

It makes me stronger

I tried fighting back the emotional pain
Kamal and I have been each others backbone.
And our family members have been really supportive
Aayan understood something bad happened but he couldn't ask
He normal comes to our room every morning to hug me for some minutes before he runs off
It contributed to my healing

I tried to put on a happy face when i  resumed school just a week after my miscarriage
Everyone stopped me from resuming  but i insisted

Inna told me a Hadith where prophet Muhammad(saw) said "the miscarried foetus will plead with his Lord if his parents are admitted to hell
It will be said"o foetus who pleads with your Lord admit your parents to paradise so he or she will drag them out with his umbilical cord untill he or she admits them to pardise"

It gave me hope

And Alhamdulilah I am getting better now
I am getting used to the fact.i no longer burst into tears when i see a pregnant Fareeda or any pregnant lady i come across
Or when i see the lady in third year playing with her daughter
I am beginning to find happiness in their happiness and i am taking my medications.

And to appreciate how Kamal has been really patient with me I decided to go see him at the hospital

"Come in"i heard him call after i knocked softly

I smiled opening the door

"Hey sugar Habibty,you don't have to knock you know"he said softly

Then i chuckled coming closer to him

"You are so warm"i said after he engulfed me into a hug

"And you are so tiny I wish I can eat you"he whispered nibbling on my ear lobe

I laughed before we kissed for some few seconds

The door opened suddenly making me startled

"Doctor Kamal sorry to interupt but our patient,Jamila is in labour and she doesn't want to deliver without you or Your wife"Doctor Fauziya said panting then she noticed me

"Good thing your wife came,I was going to tell you to call her.As salam alaikum Mrs Kamal"she said softly with a smile

"Wa alaikumus salam"i greeted back smiling

"I know it's against the hospital rules but she is not ready to push,can we get going?"Doctor Fauziya said

"Sure"Kamal said holding my hand

We followed Doctor Fauziya to the Labour room

We were given gloves and cap to wear

Her eyes that was red due to crying
lightened up a bit when we arrived
I felt sorry for her forgetting I was once jealous of her I walked closer holding her hand

"Push you can do it"i murmured encouragingly in her ears

She nodded,her eyes closed due to pain and she gritted her teeth after so many pushing
She let our a cry and she pushed the fourth time

The cries of the baby filled the Labour room as we all whispered Alhamdulilah

The baby fell into Mid wife's arms and doctor Fauziya cut the umbilical cord

"It's a girl!" and she handed it to Jamila who looked pale

"My baby..."she croaked

The room was now as silent as a graveyard

She glanced at her crying baby then placed  her on her bosom for some seconds before she handed her to Kamal to call the Adhan in her ears

He did it carefully before handing her over to Jamila

"Malak..."she called looking at me with dazed eyes

"Yes?"i called softly

"No time...."she gasped and i shook my head with teary eyes

"Take her please like your own,Name her Farha because she is happiness and from today she will spread Happiness
Even though me and her father couldn't watch her grow
She is our happiness"Jamila said handing the baby over to me

She then kissed the crying baby's forehead  then she turned to Kamal

"For all the times you have to been helping me
I leave you with a gift,please take care of her and only Allah can reward you for helping me when i had no one"she said softly

"Jamila you are going to recover you are just in pain thats why"Kamal assured

She shook her head before she started uttering Kalmatus shahadah and she closed her eyes after some seconds

"Kamal,she's not moving check her"I said nervously
Rocking the crying baby in my arms

Kamal checked and He looked at me with sad eyes "she is no more"

My eyes widened as the mid wife took the baby from me to wash her

"Inna lilahi wa inna ilaihi rajuun(from Allah we come and to him we shall return)"

And Kamal took me into his arms for a hug while Doctor Fauziya shook her head sadly walking out

So this is the connection I felt
Jamila was going to be my second child's biological mother

May her soul rest in jannatul Firdaus

Tohm Jamila's chapter has closed from their lives 😢
And they now have the little baby they were wishing for😭

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Fee Amanillah 🍀☘💚