The food here isn't as good as the food back home. It's dry and flaky and I cough and gag. But it's all I have and Mum would have wanted me to eat it. I eat it for her. I get up every day for her. I continue to fight for her. 

The humans here take me out of my box sometimes. They hook something around my body and hang onto me from a piece of rope. I'm able to walk around but only as far as the rope allows. Once I tried to bolt but they had an iron grip. What good would running do anyway? I'm not fast enough to get away and I had nowhere to go. I didn't know where Mum was. I'd die out there. And I had to stay alive for her. 

The air is warmer now and I enjoy being outside. I sniff the wet grass. I sniff the dry grass and make it wet, kicking up the dirt behind me. The need to make everything mine is gone. The joy of claiming the world vanishes and I just enjoy it for what it is. I'm still so small. What do I need with the whole world? 

Warm sunshine melts in my fur. Some birds chirp from bushes and I yip. They fly away, the branches rattling. The human tugs on the rope and we go on. 

There are new smells everywhere. I smell squirrels and birds and humans and dogs like me. I even smell stray cats that yawn and stretch and claw the earth. The dirt is covered in their waste and I try digging some up to inspect but the rope tightens. I'm pulled away. 

Strange animals that honk and screech run by. I freeze where I stand and watch them. The human watches them too. They stop running and we continue on our walk. I hear ringing and talking and purring and whistling. They catch my attention but I'm escorted away again. I smell fire and smoke and warm food. I sniff the ground but the smell gets fainter with every step. I have to stop and scratch every once in a while. Sometimes I shake. Humans watch me pass them and I wag my tail. They smile and coo and I sniff their feet. Some kneel on the ground and pet me. They speak lovingly and I can't help but sneeze and wag. They must be my friends. 

The walk ends and I'm taken back inside the cold yellow den and put back into my box where there's food and fresh water. The humans open the doors to other boxes and all the dogs here get turns to go outside. We're always excited. Some days nobody comes in and we think we've been forgotten only to hear the booming rumble. We hear rain pounding outside. We hang our heads and know there's no walk that day. 

Day by day I can feel my box getting smaller. Every day it seems it's harder to move around than it was before. It gets harder to scratch and my paw hits the sides, banging and scaring me. Sometimes I knock my food and water over and I cower. The humans come in and I expect them to be angry. They never are. They just clean me up and talk. I can pick up words here and there but I don't know what all of them mean. They're noisy animals. They have to say so many words to convey what dogs can in just a quick yip. 

I lick my paws. There's nothing else to do here. After our walks are over some other humans come in and look us over. Some just visit. Some end up taking one of the dogs with them. Usually the smaller puppies get taken before the bigger dogs. I wonder if I will be taken. Or am I too big? 

I can see some of them looking at me through the bars. Some smile. I yip and chew on the bars. My teeth still hurt. I'm growing more. They're very sharp. I hope one day to be able to chew right out of my box and then they'll have to take me back to Mum. 

Or they'll scold me with a soft stick. Once in a while they hit our rumps with some long stick they like to look at. It starts out flat then they roll it up and swat at us if we misbehave. It's not hard. But we lower our tails just the same. 

A couple of people look at me. I wag my tail and tilt my head. They're funny to look at. They have such flat faces. And so many flat teeth. Hardly any of them are sharp. How can they eat anything? Hardly any fur on them either. Fleas must not be a problem with them. Even so, I don't envy them. 

"He's about four months old now...."

They're talking. I can't understand them! My ears perk up and I freeze.

"He was taken in a bit younger than usual. The ones who bred the mother didn't think anyone would take him..."

I can see them looking at me. I stare back at them refusing to blink. They nod their heads a lot and their lips turn downward. They lower their voices and I strain to hear. Their smiles look forced. They leave.

The day ends.

**********

It's wet outside. Rain is still pouring and I lie on the blanket. My vision is blurry. I stayed up all night. There will be no walks today. 

I try to eat but my stomach churns. I lap a bit of water and lie down. The humans visit us still. They crowd around the smaller puppies and I feel myself grow so big my haunches touch the roof of my cage. I duck my head more than I need to. I keep my tail down and don't wag it. The humans who come to visit don't smile at me anymore. I'm not cute. I'm not happy. And it's obvious. 

One young couple of humans comes in and I ignore them. My stomach churns still. The meat we ate last night was delicious but I wonder if maybe it was old. No one else looks sick. I don't smell anything off with the others. 

The humans stop at my cage and speak in high voices. I lift my head. My stomach turns and I vomit. The humans stop speaking to me and someone with blue hands comes in again to take me out of my cage. I feel so much better. But my bed is dirty and so is my fur. I can hear the other dogs in the room sniffing my sick and licking their chops. They take me to a large metal bathtub and turn the water on.

It's cold. Freezing cold. Their blue hands rub me up and down with bubbles that make my eyes sting when they pop and I writhe. I yelp. They spray me with the violent cold water and they hold me down in the tub. My tail lowers to cover myself from the harsh. I want my Mum to lick me instead. She's very clean and doesn't hurt. 

The water spits and fizzles out and they lift me out of the tub. I shake immediately. Water flies everywhere much to the humans' distaste. They cover me with a rough blanket and rub me down again. I shake again. There's no flying water. Someone picks me back up and takes me back to my cage where there's a new blanket. I'd give anything for a new cage. Can't they see I'm getting too big? My stomach feels better but I don't feel like eating. I sleep instead.

**********

We watch the humans open the cage door and pull out one of the dogs. He's old and smells of rot. But he's alive. Every day humans come in and look at him and I can see their displeasure. He was here when I arrived and he'd be here forever. 

Until they take him.

The door closes behind them and the footsteps fade away. I lower my head on my paws. We know he's not coming back. So why wait?

**********

I lick myself as best as I can. My cage is cramped and isn't getting any better. My shoulders knock against the sides and my tail gets caught between the bars when I turn. I yelp in pain a lot. The other dogs ignore me. I want Mum. 

Maybe we all want our Mums.

A human comes in. Smaller compared to others I've seen. The fur on his head hangs and covers his eyes. I can't see his expression very well. I lower my head and close my eyes. 

Others yip and scratch and chew the bars. I would if I had the energy. I don't bother to watch as the human walks around and looks at us. He speaks and I don't understand him. I don't try to. I hear the footsteps stop and I can feel him staring at me. 

I open my eyes and see his. His face is flat just like all the others and his teeth are straight. None of them sharp. He smiles and I blink. I can feel him bang on the top of the cage with his hand. "Kinda small for him, ain't it?"

"It's our largest size." I lower my head. I sigh. "If he grows out of it we'll have to send him to another shelter."

I yawn and let out a little yelp. The human laughs a little and I'm almost flattered. Someone thinks I'm cute. "Any health issues?"

"He walks with a slight limp on his right foot..."

I want to stretch. I try and my shoulders hit the sides of the cage. I curl back up and lick my nose by accident. The humans keep talking and I try to fall asleep, drowning them out. My ear itches. I can feel a fly buzzing around the room, landing on my fur. 

The human leaves. I forget about him.

**********

I roll around in the grass outside. Scratching all the itches and sneezing up a storm. I trot around through the field and try catching butterflies. They fly too high for me. I start digging a hole and get a tug on the rope. But this hole must be dug. I try again and the rope pulls. I stare at the spot on the ground. My tail slides back and forth on the grass and a breeze coats my fur. 

That hole must be dug. 

I stand up and claw at the dirt with my paws, my right one weaker than my left. I force it into the dirt and it doesn't dig the way I want it to. Dirt hits me in the face and I back up, pawing at my eyes. I whimper and yelp. I feel the rope pull and I resist. The human whistles and I finally join her, taking one last look behind me. 

Once inside she leads me into the room with my cage. And there inside is the human from yesterday. He smiles when he sees me and kneels down to my level. I lower my head and wag my tail. I can't help myself. He starts scratching behind my ears and I sit down helping him out with my hind leg. He laughs and scratches my rump. I sniff him. He smells like fire and smoke. He smells like food and humans. He smells like bubbles and water. He smells like fancy spray the humans wear on my walk. 

"Hey, buddy. Good to see ya'."

I can't help myself and climb onto his lap. I make an attempt to lick his face. My wet nose touches his cheek and he laughs. His hands stroke my fur and they're warm. His smile is warm. His whole being radiates warmth. I want to stay by his side. I want to love him. I want to be his best friend. 

**********

I'm hooked to another rope, this one a lot smaller. The man takes me outside and toward a herd of those noisy animals that run and screech and honk. They're not moving yet but I know they will soon. He helps me inside of one and I curl into myself. I remember being taken here by one of these things. I tremble. I want to wet. I don't, fearing the man will send me back. Back to my cage, my shoulders hunched. I hunch my shoulders now out of habit. I have an itch. I want to scratch. I don't scratch. I don't move from my stance. The man gives me a few pets and scratches under my chin. He turns away from me and I quickly scratch my ear. 

We're moving. The sensations feel the same as I remember them. I don't cry or whimper as there is nothing to cry about. Mum is already gone. My family is gone. There's nothing else behind me that I miss. 

I keep my eyes on the man. I see men sometimes and they're never this small. Maybe he's a child. Children are small. But he acts like a man. He doesn't poke and prod like the children by the cages. He's gentle. His hands are rough but soft. Once in a while he reaches over and strokes my fur. I want to relax. I tremble still. I keep my eyes on him. 

**********

We stop. The man helps me outside and I stand there. I shake. I wet. There's a lot and I scurry away in shame. The man isn't angry. He smiles. He tugs on the rope and I follow slowly. My limp is more obvious when I walk slowly. He's patient and waits for me. He leads me to his den and lets me inside. 

I stop. I put one paw forward and sniff. I smell more smoke. I smell a bitter liquid. It smells hot and strong. I smell the soft ground. The man takes the rope away and lets me by myself. I can see him stand there watching me. He keeps his distance and I keep mine. I want to be his best friend. But I'm scared. I can't help feeling scared. 

There are large unmoving objects in this place too. Couches and chairs where humans sit. And speak their long languages. And eat. I see water and food on the floor. I can feel an ache inside me. But I'm scared to eat. I don't know why. 

I limp toward hard ground and sniff. I smell food. Human food and human drink. I smell human shoes and socks. I smell old sweat and grass. The man lives alone. 

"Hungry at all?" I hear him speak and look at him. I continue to sniff. "You do have a limp, huh?" 

I hear something and freeze. The man isn't fazed and continues to be a man. He walks around his house and sits and stands and gets food and water. It's warm today and I'm thirsty. I see the bowl of water on the ground and I approach carefully, my head lowered. It smells safe so I have a lick. It's colder than the water in my cage. I sniff the bowl of food and eat one bite. The man watches. I leave him and explore the rest of the house. 

There's something on the ground by the couch. It's bigger than me and I'm scared. I've never seen one before. I step forward and sniff, my nose and whiskers barely touching it. The man comes up behind me and I startle. "It's okay, buddy." I run under the table, curling my tail closer to my body. The man picks the object up and sits on the couch. His long fur hangs in his face. He shakes it away. I shake my own fur. He sets the object across his lap and uses his fingers. My ears perk at the sounds. 

Humans call it music. 

The man is focused on the object. I creep closer to him. He sees me and smiles. I let my nose guide me forward. I don't smell anything dangerous. The man reaches one hand forward and I shrink before leaning. He pets me and lets me lick his fingers. They taste like smoke. It comforts me. I step closer. He scoots sideways and pats the couch. I jump at his command and sit next to him. He strokes my fur and plays the big object, the music filling the house. I'm no judge on human music. It doesn't sound like any howl or yip or growl I'm used to. It doesn't say anything at all. But maybe to the man it does. Maybe to the man it says more than words. 

I listen.