XXXIII. I got cursed like Eve got bitten

Harry was distraught the whole way back to Grimmauld Place. His friends eyed him when he wasn't looking and then they turned away when he looked at them. He locked himself away in his room that he shared with Ron, not daring to come out or speak to any of them about how he was feeling.

Devore tried keeping the information she knew in her own head, but now it almost spilled from her mouth like a word vomit. It scared her. She was torn on who to tell first, her mother or Harry. Or perhaps both of them together. Harry was safe with them, he knew that. But were any of them actually safe?

She tapped lightly on his room door. "Harry, it's Devore," she spoke lightly. She waited for him to respond or to open the door, but she heard nothing. He'd been this way for hours now. "Harry, please talk to me."

"Not now, Devore," she heard him through the door.

Devore frowned. She rested her head on the wood. "I don't understand how you're feeling, but you know that I always listen. I have to talk to you. Please." She pleaded.

"Just go away, Devore! I don't want to talk!" Harry yelled.

She stood there for a second, her mouth opened to speak, but Devore couldn't form words. Stubbornly, she twisted the doorknob and opened the door. "Harry—" she paused when she saw him lying face down on his bed and his suitcase was standing in the middle of the room.

Harry shot up when she came in. "I said go away!" He yelled at her.

"You're not going to push me away that easy, sorry," Devore raised her voice. She eyed the suitcase. "What, you plan on leaving? That's why you haven't said a word since we returned? You think leaving us all is going to make you feel better?"

"Why do you care?" The question startled her as well as the way he quickly stood from his bed.

Her brows pinched together. "What the hell does that mean?" She said displeased.

"You left!" Harry nearly shouted, getting closer to her. "You think I didn't feel awful when you came back acting like you didn't know any of us? You think it didn't hurt me that my best friend turned her back on me?"

Devore's jaw dropped. "Harry, I thought we were past that—"

"You don't get it, okay? None of you do. None of you could even process what's happening inside my head with now!" Harry fumed and acted like he was pulling on his hair.

"Then talk to us! Talk to me!" She said pleading once again, talking with her hands.

"I don't want to talk to anyone and I don't want anybody to talk to me!" He exasperated. "So just go, okay?"

He turned his back to her and Devore stood there somberly.

"I'm serious, Devore, go!"

Devore left the room and she pressed herself to the door. She thought they were okay, that they had moved past what happened last year. Devore thought she was past it. But her past always came back to haunt her in some way, the consequences on her actions never fading away. She looked down and slid up her long sleeves, the words on her wrist staring back at her.

No matter how much she tried to change, Devore would always be reminded that what she did to Harry and everybody else was wrong, and she'd have to live with it forever.

Devore sat at the dinner table with everyone, tapping her fork against her plate. None of them were really hungry after their visit to St. Mungo's, but solemn was written all over her face. "What's the matter, Dev?" Fred asked her, causing them all to look at her.

She felt an immediate hit of anxiety. "Nothing's the matter," said Devore a little too quickly.

"Are you sure, sweetheart? You don't look too good." Said her mother, sitting at the end of the table beside Sirius.

"Thank you, mother."

Some of them laughed. Chanel went red. "I didn't mean it like that!" She immediately said back.

"I think you look ravishing, my darling," said Fred, giving her a wink.

"Please, not at the table. Some of us like to keep our food down," said George with a mouth full of potatoes that he was trying to keep down.

"I second that," Bennet agreed with him.

"Oh, be quiet you," his sister said, throwing him a look. "You're almost at the age where you'll be pining after all the girls at Hogwarts."

"Oh, don't say that," Chanel gasped. "I want my baby to stay little forever."

"Mum!" Bennet groaned and the others laughed again.

"Oh, I remember the first time Devore came to our home," said Mrs. Weasley and she smiled at the older Taylor child. "Just a little girl with a big personality."

"And a big mouth," Ron added in, earning a slap on the back of the head from Devore.

"Oh, where's the time gone?"

There was a sniffle and they turned their heads to Chanel, who became teary eyed. "Stop it now," she said somberly and brushed her hands on the napkin that was placed on her lap.

"Mum, don't cry," said Devore with a giggle.

"Now, now, Nelly, no tears," Sirius spoke up and patted the woman's hand. "It's nearly Christmas. There's no tears on Christmas, remember?"

Chanel looked his way and chuckled. "Oh, of course. How could I forget?"

"Forget what, Mrs. Taylor?" Ginny asked the woman.

"Christmas Eve, 1975," Sirius brought up. "Chanel had been the one to decorate the common room along with Molly and Lily, and one of Molly's brothers, Gideon, accidentally fell into the Christmas tree and knocked off the glass angel she put on top, and it shattered."

"Oh, imbeciles those two were," said Molly with a sad laugh, reminiscing the memories of her late older brothers.

"And so she started to cry, and I told her that Christmas is a time for family and friends, not crying," Sirius continued and looked at Chanel, "so I fixed the glass angel for her and put it on top of the tree again."

A gentle smile spread on her lips. "Always a problem solver, you were."

Devore watched the way Sirius smiled at her mother, and how his hand had yet to lift from hers. She watched her mother's face turn red, how she almost became shy, and Devore began to wonder if Ginny and Hermione had been right.

Later that night, Devore remained downstairs in the living room area, reading a book on the couch. The fireplace was lit up with a roaring fire, warning the entire room to a comfortable temperature. Crime and Punishment was rested on her lap.

"Devore, dear, why are you still awake?" Her mother made herself present, her dark red robe dragging by her feet.

Devore immediately pulled her arms closer to her to hide her wrists. "I couldn't sleep, so, I decide to read for a while." She explained.

Chanel came and sat with her. "I know something's on your mind from earlier. What's wrong, darling?"

"Nothing's wrong, mum—"

"Stop lying."

"I'm not lying!" Devore exasperated. But then she sighed and closed her book, still being careful to not reveal her wrists. "I'm worried about Harry."

Her mother frowned slightly. "Oh, I know you are." She scooted closer to her and brushed her long hair out of her face. "I'm worried for him too, Dev."

"It's just I can't understand what he's feeling and I hate it," Devore spoke again, shifting slightly on the couch. "I want to be there for him so badly, but, I don't think he wants me to be."

Chanel titled her head, wearing her elbow on the back of the couch and she put her palm against her head. "I'm sure Harry does want you to be there, Devy, but he's just scared. Something horrible's happened and all eyes are him. Can you—" she stopped herself, her facing falling subtly. "Well, you can imagine, can you?"

Devore looked down at the book on her lap, her tongue poking against her cheek.

"I'm sorry, honey. I didn't mean to—"

"You don't ever have to be sorry, mum." She muttered and looked at her mother again. Devore understood many things. One was that she was her father's daughter quite through and through, their personalities, quarks, and difficulties. But as well as she was her mother's daughter, they were best friends, their relationship strengthening through hardships. Devore could braid her hair like they were school girls, dance with her like they were in a dream to their favorite music; she could let her mother cry to her as if she was a young girl again, resting her head upon her lap, and Devore would smooth out her hair.

Devore knew everything about her mother, her insecurities, her habits, her heart, and she knew her undying loyalty to her family, and the loyalty she held toward her father. "Mum?"

Chanel hummed.

She sucked in a breath and decided to let it out. "Do you miss father?" was her first question, and it was incredibly hard to ask.

Her mother's eyes went soft. "Of course I do, love. I miss him every day," Chanel told her with her lips tugging into a frown.

"And you'll love him forever?"

"As long as my heart still beats and you kids are still breathing."

Devore swallowed harshly. "So is there a chance you'd ever be able to give that love to somebody else?" She asked with a crack in her voice.

Chanel looked taken back. "I – What are you talking about, Devore?" She sat up slightly.

"I see the way you look at him, mum. It's obvious."

"Who?"

"Sirius," said Devore deeply, the whites of her eyes becoming red. She watched her mother's face change to realization. "Mum, I haven't seen you this happy since father died. I know how happy you are to be back with all of your friends, but I'm not blind, mother. I can see there's something between the two of you."

"Devore," Chanel shook her head. "Sirius and I have been friends for so long. He's important to me. They all are."

"So you're saying you feel nothing for him?"

Her mother opened her mouth but no words came out. Chanel blinked at a rapid pace, her throat burning, and she swallowed. "It's complicated, my dear." She whispered. Chanel hated seeing that look on her daughter's face, the look of not understanding but deep sadness. She was so young, she didn't understand how the world worked yet even if she'd been through terrible things at such a young age.

A woman's heart was a deep ocean of secrets. Chanel kept a lot of what she was feeling to herself so that her kids didn't have to bare her pain. Her husband was gone, her best friend, the love of her life — she would no longer be able to hear his laugh, their son's laugh, or see his smile, their daughter's smile; she could no longer hold him or kiss him as much as she wanted to. Chanel lived in a constant agony, a part of her missing, but she was a mother. She had to hold herself together.

But being at headquarters, seeing Sirius again, one of her oldest friends, brought out a different feeling. Chanel hadn't seen him in so long that she forgot how much she missed him, and being around him again made her happy. She missed the feeling of being happy. But how could she explain that happiness to her daughter? "I would never want to hurt you or Bennet, Devore. You kids are my world." Chanel spoke with a crack in her delicate voice.

"You're not answering my question, mum." Said Devore, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Would it hurt you?"

"I don't know."

"Then it won't happen."

"Would that hurt you?"

Chanel didn't say anything. Devore's chin wobbled and she grabbed her book, getting up from the couch. "Dev—" her mother started to say but her daughter had started to leave the room. When she was gone, Chanel covered her mouth and made a sad noise, her eyes filling with tears.

When she walked into her room, Ginny was already asleep, and Devore tried being as quiet as possible. She put her book on the side table and crawled into bed, pulling the covers over her body and she stared at the ceiling. Devore put her hand over her mouth to conceal a cry she felt coming, but it didn't stop the tears from falling from her eyes.

Sirius loved Christmas almost as much as Devore did, which was a little concerning. He'd been spending all morning help decorate Grimmauld Place for Christmas while belting out different songs such as My Love is Always Here and My Baby Gave Me a Hippogriff for Christmas. Devore had waken up extra early, the Christmas spirit igniting in her bones, and her and Mrs. Weasley located all kinds of decorations in the home.

She stood at the near top of a ladder while Fred held a box of ornaments and he was handing them to her. "Y'know, love, I could've just hang all of these myself," he told her, seeing as how he was almost as tall as the tree.

"But it's my favorite part!" Said Devore with a pout. Her hair was tied up into a bun and a dark red bow held it all together, it matching her dark red sweater. "Everything on the tree has to look perfect. Another one, please?"

Fred listened and handed her a golden snitch ornament.

"I think it looks divine, Devore," said Sirius when he was passing by, a cheerful smile on his face that he could finally share the holiday with company.

Devore looked over her shoulder and smiled. It was hard to even look at him after the conversation between her and her mother the night before, and she couldn't help but feel awkward. "Thanks, Sirius. I'm glad somebody appreciates my hard work."

"Hey, I appreciate you!" Her boyfriend chimed.

"Oh, I know you do, sweetheart," she responded and slowly petted the top of his head. "You look so cute today. Have I told you that yet?"

Fred smiled big, his smile lines showing. "No, you haven't. But thanks." He said shyly.

When she finished putting on the ornaments, Fred helped her climb down the ladder. "I'll go find Ben. His favorite part is putting on the tree topper," said Devore and she ventured off to find her brother.

It was snowing outside, the sun reflecting off the white and shining brightly on the windows. It was the happiest time of Devore's life, decorating for Christmas and spending time outside in the snow. She found Bennet with Molly and Ginny, hanging wreaths along the staircase with large red bows. "Ben, I decorated the tree. Ready to out the topper on?" Devore asked him with a growing grin.

His eyes lit up. "Yes!" He cheered and came running down the stairs.

"Oh my gosh, it looks beautiful in here," she gushed while looking at the decorations. She went up the stairs and helped Ginny tie the wreath around the top of stairway. She noticed how upset she looked, how there was no happiness to her at all, which was very unlike her. "What's the matter, Dove?"

Ginny looked her way, her skin pale and her eyes dull. "He still hasn't come down."

Devore pursed her lips. "Have you tried talking to him?"

"What's the point? It's not like he's making an effort to talk to us?" She grumbled and tied the bow to the wreath.

"It might be different if he heard from you," said Devore gently, and the youngest Weasley looked at her again. She half smiled. "Come on, Ginny. You know I'm right."

Ginny sighed. "I know you think that, but, you're wrong, Dev. He only had eyes for Cho," she emphasized Cho's name with a slight grimace.

"Harry's a teenage boy. They have eyes for everyone." Devore brushed her long red hair off of her shoulder. "But it takes the right person for them to keep their eyes on them and them only."

From down below at the end of the stairs, Molly smiled when she heard the conversation, her eyes warming at them.

Ginny had never experienced real feelings for anyone like she did for Harry, and it scared her. Devore understood that. She also knew Harry was too stubborn and awkward to act on his own feelings, so it was only fair that she would give both him and Ginny a push in each other's directions. "Now cheer up, Ginny. It's almost Christmas!" Devore continued with a happy squeal. "Ooh, I think it's time to hang the candle sticks." She took off running down the stairs. "Freddie, will you help me hang the candles?" She yelled and searched for her boyfriend.

Devore heard music coming from the living area, The Nutcracker's No. 14 playing softly. Then she heard laughter. Devore was about to walk into the room when she saw Sirius and her mom, and then she paused and hid slightly behind the door frame. The two of them were putting a collection of snow globes on the fire place. "No, Sirius," said Chanel while laughing.

"Oh, come on Nelly. You're an excellent dancer. I remember the Yule Ball," said Sirius while holding out his hand.

"That was over twenty years ago."

"How did those steps go again, huh?" He wondered and slowly grabbed her hand, making Chanel laugh. He stepped to the left and then to the right. "One step, two step. . ."

Another laugh came from Chanel and she moved with him. "You're ridiculous," she said as he twirled her, their hands still attached.

"I know I am. That's never changed," Sirius said and they now stood face to face, her hand on his shoulder, his on her waist, and their other hands were connected. He gave her a sweet smile. "But look at you. Still beautiful as ever."

Devore watched the two of them go silent again, staring at one another, the look on her mother's face a look she'd never seen before. It was soft but conflicting, happy but shy, and Sirius smiled at her as though she hung the stars in the sky.

There was a pit in her stomach. A feeling of guilt and also maybe betrayal, she wasn't sure. Devore, since she was a girl, since Bennet was born, watched her mother and father dance like there was nobody else on Earth. She'd watch them glide around the living room, the kitchen, outside to no music and only the sound of each other's voices. They were the happiest when they were with each other. And now she was watching her mom dance with someone else, and she looked happy just like when she was with her father.

Was she feeling guilty because she was trying to take that happiness away, or because Devore wanted to see her mother happy again no matter how it happened? She didn't know.