Warnings: Strong language, panicking, arguing, talk of past bad friendships, and mention of Deceit (the new Side)
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"Extreme fear can neither fight nor fly"- William Shakespeare

After his slight unintentional breakdown, which dampened Patton's shirt and part of his grey jumper, Virgil pulls away and scrubs at his cheeks, embarrassment flooding his cheeks as he completely refuses to meet their eyes. There's a brief few seconds of silence before Virgil opens his mouth, preparing to apologise for his outburst, but Logan speaks before he can.

"I'd like to thank you for trusting us with this information, Virgil, it was very brave of you to open up to us," he adjusts his glasses and subconsciously glances at Roman's usual corner of the room, "your feelings are normal and I'm sure that if we explain them properly, even Roman will understand."

Virgil shakes his head and keeps his gaze averted, staring down at his knees guiltily. "But he's been trying so hard. It's not fair on him that I'm feeling this way." He scratches the back of his neck once before bowing his head and clasping his hands together in his lap. "And I know that he would never hurt me, so... I just don't understand why I'm so afraid. Even when he hated me, he never laid a finger on me. Yeah, maybe we shoved each other like, once or twice, but it was never that aggressive. Even still! He's trying to hard to-"

Seeing that he's slowly spiralling down into a dark pit of shame, Patton cuts him off and shuffles just that little bit closer to him. Their knees knock against each other lightly, but it's never an amount of physical contact that is too much for Virgil to handle, or too overwhelming. "You're right, he would never physically hurt you! But he has still hurt you before, and even though it is in the past, it might not be that easy to forget."

He looks over to Logan for his helpful insight, and the logical trait clears his through quickly, tugging at his tie nervously. "Correct. You may have forgiven him, but that does not change that it happened. And it will be more difficult to trust him due to the fact that there is a small possibility that it could happen again. That your relationship could revert back to the way it was before. Subconsciously, your brain could be focusing more on that possibility rather than the other more optimistic possibilities, likely because of what you represent, which is anxiety."

Virgil can't help feeling his lips twitch in amusement at the rare occurrence of Logan rambling. Then, he remembers, and he looks up.

Ah. There are uncomfortably dark smudges appearing under both Logan and Patton's eyes, and Virgil knows he needs to get them out of his room. He inhales deeply and tells them to sink down. Logan seems to understand what's happening immediately and nods, sinking down first, soon hesitantly followed by Patton, and once they're both out safely, Virgil sinks down to join them.

Unfortunately, as he dizzily glances around the room, he spots Roman sitting on the couch writing in a large crimson notebook. He feels his stomach drop at the heated glare that is sent his way before Logan folds his arms across his chest and steps between the two of them. "It has come to our attention that you are upset with Virgil. We know his side of the story, would you like to voice yours?"

Pursing his lips in a mix of disgust and vexation, Roman huffs out an irritated sigh and once again glances up at the anxious facet, who simply shuffles backwards and stuffs his hands into his pockets. "Oh really? And what did he tell you exactly?"

Patton notices the way Virgil shrinks back and frowns for a second before hiding it behind a calm and understanding smile. He takes a few steps forward towards Roman and crouches down in front of him, being sure to silently assure him that they aren't angry with him; he does have a right to be upset since he hasn't been given an explanation. "He told us about the incident a few weeks ago, and about how he's feeling. Now, could you do the same thing? What happened from your perspective? And how are you feeling right now?"

For a moment or two, Roman hesitates and Virgil knows exactly what he's thinking: what's the point in telling? Will it really change anything? It won't change how he's feeling, and it won't change what happened. So, what's the point in voicing something so personal, something that hurts so much to say, if it won't change anything?

But, God, Virgil stands there quietly and prays that Roman will give him a chance to explain himself. That he'll add on to how much he's been trying by... by trying just a little bit more. It's a selfish thing of Virgil to want, but he does. He wants a healthy relationship with Roman, even if it can never morph into a friendship. That's all he wants. Even if they aren't friends, he just hopes to understand the creative facet on a deeper level, and wants that in return. Maybe, if that happens, they can learn to work together properly as companions, at least.

"I was just... moving my hair out of my eyes," he whispers softly, the tone of his voice becoming a little more hoarse than usual, as if he were sobering up from something, "that's all I was doing. We were sitting and conversing on the sofa, it was nice, but... but I must have done something wrong because the moment I moved he acted as if I were some sort of monster going to attack him. As if I was planning to- to betray him somehow! As if I were–"

His voice rose and Virgil felt his chest ache as it sped up into something more frantic before he cut himself off. Logan moves forward carefully, sticking close to Virgil, but being sure to be at least arms length away from Roman. "As if you were...?"

They watch as Roman clenches his fists in the material of his trousers in hurt, glaring obstinately down at his knees. His voice is the quietest that any of them have ever heard it, and it's just so weak, which Roman had always desperately tried never to be. Virgil is pretty sure that part of his philosophy is to be as bold, daring, and boisterous as he possibly can be, so he can get the most out of life. This is something the anxious Side both admires and condemns. "I am nothing like that snake...!"

Oh.

Virgil swallows. He suddenly feels a lot warmer than before, and breathing is a lot more difficult. His pulse thunders in his ears as he digs his nails into the sleeve of his hoodie, having pulled the sleeves over his hands beforehand, it doesn't hurt much, but Virgil almost wishes it does so he'd be distracted from the sinking feeling in his stomach. He feels sick. But not like he's going to throw up. Dizzy. A piercing through his forehead. Dulls to an ache. Everything arches.

Roman Sanders, their prince and Thomas's creativity, just compared himself to Deceit. Deceit the manipulator. Deceit the coward. Deceit the Dark Side. Deceit the snake. Deceit the liar.

Oh. Virgil made him feel that way.

No. He can't think like that. It wasn't intentional, and yes, he can feel guilty, but placing the blame on himself isn't going to help anything. Of course he will berate himself on it later tonight, but right now, he has to convince Roman that Virgil has never compared him to Deceit. And that he never will.

And yet, the only thing his voice has the strength to say is, "Oh."

Roman's eyes slowly raise to meet his, and Virgil is stunned to see them shimmering with so much hurt it forms a lump in his throat. Neither of them say anything. But they want to. Virgil has never took much pride in the way he's worded things, and the moment he sees Roman bite the inside of his cheek, which he knows is a method of biting back tears, and turn his head away with a sniff is one of those moments that has Virgil lost for words. He knows what he wants to say, but he just doesn't know how to say it.

He catches himself before he looks to Logan for help. Doing that would only give Roman the impression that he wants someone else to apologise for him, and that simply isn't true. Mostly.

Apologising isn't an easy thing to do, especially when your throat is closing out and you can barely manage a single word. But Virgil wants to apologise because he knows that Roman deserves it. Sure, it isn't Virgil's fault that he's feeling this way. And yeah, Roman has been acting a prick for a few weeks. But he's actually had a reason to since Virgil stupidly failed to explain the reason for how he acted at the time.
Logan is speaking to him, snapping him out of whatever revere he's thought himself into. "Virgil, are you alright?"

Why is he asking him that? Maybe it's because Virgil is feeling a little lightheaded, how long has it been since he's taken a proper breath? He thinks about saying what Logan wants to hear, but finds that an invisible weight is pressing against his throat. Another is breathing cold air on the back of his neck. What they want to hear, versus what he is actually feeling.

The icy breeze on the back of his neck is urging him to pick the first option. Tell them what they want to hear. It's Roman's turn to be sad. Don't be so selfish. But no. He can't. That would make him a liar. "No."

Three pairs of eyes snap to him and that breathing on the back of his neck gets colder, sinking into his skin and stiffening his muscles. He can barely move. Roman's gaze is now curious, but the hurt is still there, buried beneath a thin layer of contempt. Breaking through his coverup would be hard. Despite the anger being thin, it was also fragile, and even just one wrongly worded opinion could completely change the outcome of this conversation. He takes a deep breath, "I'm not okay because I... I didn't say anything. And I should've. I shouldn't have waited this long to explain what happened, and I'm sorry that I did."

He pauses to let his words sink in. When he's sure that Roman has fully processed it, he continues, "You are absolutely nothing like Deceit. And I promise that there has never been a time where I've compared you to him. Not even when we, you know," he rubs the back of his neck anxiously; he really doesn't want to get this wrong, "were very aware of our differences."

Roman's lips twitch ever-so-slightly in amusement at his way of wording their past hatred towards each other, but he doesn't say anything, and silently waits for him to continue. The tiniest hint of a smile provides Virgil with a brief feeling of relief. "You've never been like him. To be blunt about it, you didn't hide your... disliking of me, whilst Deceit just pretends to care so he has a gateway to manipulate people. Does that sound like you?" He doesn't even let him answer, just wanting to continue and get this over with as quickly as possible. The faster it's done, the less of a chance he has of messing up. "Now, about the, uh, 'incident'..."

This was where he messed up.

"I was afraid, okay? I'm not going to lie to you and say that I wasn't," Roman's face falls and Virgil feels his chest tighten in response, even so, he has to continue, "but you've done nothing wrong, and you did nothing wrong. The thing is, I'm the embodiment of anxiety, which kind of means that I... don't let things go that easily. I guess that being afraid of you, like, hurting me or whatever is me subconsciously worrying about... us?"

He brushes a hand through his hair in frustration, completely missing the small glimmer of understanding in Roman's expression. "It's hard for me not to overthink almost every situation, so I guess I'm worried that we're going to go back to the way we were? I don't know. Look, I know you'd never physically harm me in any way, despite any negative feelings you might have towards me. But in my mind there is always a possibility that..."

Trailing off, he lets Roman's mind complete the sentence. He's gotten the gist of what he's trying to say, anyway.

It takes a few seconds, but Roman eventually finds the words to respond, and although his eyes are still full of sadness and guilt, he's smiling. "I understand. Not going to lie, I'm not happy about it, but I understand. Of course I don't want you to be afraid of me, but I know that my past actions have been... less than kind," his smile falters for a split second before he sighs softly and lifts his head to meet Virgil's gaze, "so I don't blame you. And I'm sorry for how I've been acting lately. It was wrong of me to–"

"Nope," Virgil lets himself smirk a little, "you're not allowed to apologise for that. You had the right to be upset. It might've been nice if you'd asked me about it, sure, but do you really think I would have been able to explain myslef without their help?"

He points to Logan and Patton as he says this, and feels the weight against his throat lighten as Roman chuckles quietly. "No offence, but no. As you just suggested, you likely overthought this entire situation, and without them, you'd probably still be wondering how to explain it to me. But I still feel awful about how I've been treating you. I'm supposed to be a knight– chivalrous and polite!"

Virgil shakes his head and lets his smirk widen slightly. "Nah, don't worry about it, Princey. You can make it up to me by letting me choose the movie tonight at the usual Friday movie marathon."

Rolling his eyes fondly, Roman lets out an exaggerated sigh and nods, grinning from ear to ear. "Oh, fine! I suppose I can give you that at least. Let me guess, 'Black Couldron'?"

"You know, I might not even choose anything Disney related."

Roman gasps in mock horror and clutches his chest. "How could you betray me in such a way?!"

With a pleased giggle, Patton skips into the kitchen and offers to make and prepare the popcorn and other snacks for the move marathon. Logan smiles at his enthusiasm and moves to sit down beside Roman on the sofa, sighing softly in content and takes out his phone. As he collapses down on the couch on the other side of Roman, he feels himself relax for the first time in weeks. Seemingly also overjoyed by their reunion, Roman turns to face the younger facet, grinning brightly and causing Virgil to offer a shy smile back. "I'm so pleased we have resolved our differences!"

Arms wrap around Virgil's shoulders, perhaps in an abrupt display of affection caused by adrenaline, or an uncalculated approach to expressing his relief, but it feels... uncomfortable. The anxious facet isn't quite afraid, he is feeling more squirmy in his hold. It could be that he isn't used to embraces from the creative Side, but he desperately wants him to let go. Of course, his own awkwardness and anxiety won't let him say this, so he just stiffens and nervously meets Logan's eyes over Roman's shoulder.

He's warm, but it isn't comforting. It's more of an overwhelming heat, despite him only being one person. The arms around him should make him feel safe; they're strong and perfectly willing to protect him against anything that tries t cause him harm, but they just make him feel... sick? Nausteated?

Luckily, Roman seems to feel his body freezing up and let's go after a few seconds, a hand coming up to scratch the back of his neck in embarrassment. "Sorry. That was a dumb move, especially considering what this whole fight was about."

He lets out a laugh, but it isn't exactly a happy sound. Virgil offers him a smile in return and shrugs. "Nah, it wasn't. I just don't..."

"I get it, don't worry."

Virgil smirks. "That's kind of my job, Romano."

At the return of his much unwanted nickname, Roman groans and throws his head back, but both Virgil and Logan can hear the smile in his voice and laugh at his 'pain'. "Must you call me that?"

"Whatever, could you pass me the TV remote, Romano?"

Another dramatic groan fills the room and Virgil can't help the small bark of laughter that slips past his lips, Logan is snickering on the other side of the sofa, silently praising him on successfully bringing back the nickname. Roman shoots him a playful glare before teasingly complaining about how long it was taking Patton to prepare the food, and standing up to go help the moral Side himself. Virgil smiles and once again, he feels his body sink into the couch.

He can finally relax.
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Around twenty minutes into the movie, they're all mostly engrossed in the story of 'RENT', much to Roman's delight, other than the fact that Virgil cannot for the life of him, stop glancing over at the princely trait sitting next to him. He feels calm, and a perfect amount of joy at the fact that Roman doesn't hate him. Their relationship has not gone back to square one.

This happiness speedily fades when, once again, Roman abruptly lifts his arm to scratch at his head. Virgil flinches, and yes, Roman definitely notices, and his face falls slightly. God, he's ruined it again! He was just scratching his head, why is Virgil still so afraid, even after their entire conversation about it? His eyes feel damp, and there is a sharp stinging behind his lids. Skin is hot– too hot. Stop panicking. You're fine. You're fine. Just breathe, it's not that hard, but it is and the air is getting too thin, why does he have to ruin everything–

Tap, tap, tap, tap.

He tenses up. Slowly, his eyes lower down to the couch where, very carefully and oh-so softly, Roman's pinky finger is tapping his. One, two, three, four. And repeat. It's at a steady pace, he realises.

Tap, tap, tap, tap.

Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Roman's gaze flickering between the television screen and him. It's almost as if he's silently attempting to communicate something to him. Virgil begins to ponder it before actually counting the taps and feeling a lump form in his throat at the mere thoughtfulness of Roman's actions.

Tap, tap, tap, tap.

He breathes in for four seconds.

Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap.

He holds his breath for seven seconds.

Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap.

He breathes out for eight seconds. And repeat.

Roman continues tapping his finger at this rhythm until they both feel his muscles relax, and Virgil's chest is expanding at a steady pace also. He can breathe now. His eyes are still damp however, and he shyly glances up at Roman, who is still watching the screen. Soon, he notices Virgil looking at him and smiles warmly, stroking the back of his fingers lightly before retracting his hand and placing it back in his lap. Virgil swallows and focuses back on the movie. It's only small.

But it means the world to him.