The cardboard box sat staring at me from it's spot by the door. After Ethan had left and I had come to grips with the fact that I held what was probably one of Noah's most prize possessions. With that in mind I swiftly set it down on the floor the second I stepped into my apartment. I refused to go near it, like the box would burn me if I got too close.

I took one last sip of my morning coffee before I grabbed my purse from the couch and the bag I took to work every day with my uniform in it. The dress was unflattering for everyone who had to wear it, but as I looked down at the ripped jean shorts and the same paint stained shirt I had worn the night before, I knew my personal style wasn't much better.

After slipping into my plain white vans, I made my way to the front door and scrunched my nose as I hurried by the box and out of my apartment. With one last glance I shut the door tightly behind me.

. . . . .

"You need to fold under the sheet first and then the blanket." The 40-something year old woman stood on the other side of the bed with her arms crossed over her chest.

My cheeks turned a new shade of red as I held back the annoyance that bubbled up inside me. Though it didn't happen often, sometimes a guest would end up being in the room when we came to turndown and normally they just left us to our jobs, but this woman took in upon herself to tell me all the things I was doing wrong. Oh how I loved my job.

"And you didn't fluff the pillows yet either," She stated in a snooty tone.

I held back a grunt as I looked up at her with a forced smile. "I know, ma'am. That is the last thing I do when I make the bed."

"Well do it now," She said as she disappeared into the bathroom. "And don't forget the tiny shampoos!"

My jaw clenched and I gritted my teeth as I reached my hands out and rung the neck of the imaginary person standing in front of me. I dropped my hands the second she walked back into the room and grabbed one of the pillows off the bed so it looked like I was doing what she had asked.

I stared down at the three dollar tip the woman had given me as I left the room. Three dollars. After jumping through hoops and doing exactly what she had asked, all I got was three dollars. It was almost insulting. I huffed and shoved the bills into my pocket, making my way down the empty hallway as I pulled my cart along with me.

By the end of the day I was completely exhausted, but the only thing on my mind was going back to the Trill and Turn and drinking my headache away. It was counterproductive, but after the day I had I really didn't care.

"Are you two going to the bar tonight?" I asked as Brighten, Chloe and I headed out of the building through the employee entrance.

Brighten fiddled with her hair thoughtfully while Chloe immediately shook her head. "Probably not again until the weekend. Then we can really go crazy!"

I laughed to myself and shook my head as I listened to the two girls squeal about their upcoming weekend plans. I unlocked my bike, tucking the lock into my bag as I repositioned it on my shoulder.

"I know I say this all the time," Brighten's voice caught my attention as I swung my leg over the middle bar and leaned back on the bike seat. "But you seriously need to get a better mode of transportation."

I rolled my eyes. It was true. Ever since I'd met Brighten she's told me how 'unsexy' it was for a girl to ride a bike around everywhere. She would always tell me that I'd never find a man if I continued to ride my vintage Cruiser around town the way I did. Little did she know that I wasn't exactly looking for a guy at the moment, or ever if my subconscious had anything to do with it.

"Yeah, yeah." I shooed the two away as I took off on my bike, the wind blowing my hair from my face as I rode away.

. . . . .

The cool liquid tasted good after a long day, my elbows leaned against the bar counter as I sipped the freshly poured beer. I waved lazily at Jeff who stood on the opposite end of the bar cleaning glasses.

"Look who's back." He smiled sweetly once he had finished with the glasses and now began to wipe down the wooden surface of the counter.

"Miss me that much." My eyebrows rose as I put the rim of the glass to my lips.

"Not even close." Jeff laughed and shook his head. "This time I'm cutting you off at three."

"You're no fun." I smiled and he shot me a look before he moved on to another costumer.

I turned and watched the interaction, the same bleach blonde boy from the night before ordering what seemed like a few too many drinks. My eyes moved passed him as I watched his same group of friends hoot and holler, obviously already intoxicated even though it had only just turned five o'clock. My gaze shifted back to the boy no more than a few feet away just as he turned his head in my direction. He smiled immediately and waved a little as the fingers of his other hand tapped nervous on the counter top. I smiled awkwardly as well before I quickly turned away and took a gulp of my beer.

The rest of my night was spent sitting at the end of the bar, chatting with Jeff whenever he had a free moment and drinking as much as he would allow me. As I took the last few sips of my final beer for the night, slid off my chair and reached for my purse.

"Hey, you should come back this weekend. There is an open mic night." Jeff pointed at the flier that hung on the cluttered bulletin board near the front entrance.

"Not really my thing," I stated coolly as I slung my purse strap over my shoulder.

In actuality, Noah and I used to go to a lot of open mic nights around campus. Noah had liked to think of it as 'checking out the competition' and yet he still never got up on stage and preformed his own music. It was one more thing to add to the list of what I didn't understand about him.

My mood changed drastically on the walk home from the bar. My shoulders slumped over as I made it to my front door. I shut my eyes for a moment and leaned forward until my head rested against the cool wood. All I could think about was the fact that Noah's box of music waited just through the door and I wasn't sure if I could face it yet. Without another thought I pushed the key into the lock and opened the door.

I bit at my lower lip anxiously as I stood by the couch and stared at the lonesome cardboard box. I rubbed my arms, glancing away for a moment before I turned to head to bed. The mattress and box-spring lay on the floor, the tiny nook near the back of the room a prefect place to put my bed seeing as the only doors in the apartment led to the outside, the bathroom and a tiny space that could barely be considered a closet. I stopped just a few steps from my mattress before I turned back around once again. From the angle I was standing in, the couch just barely cropped out half the box from my vision and even in the dark it still shone bright like a beckon.

The old wood floor creaked at I padded back over to the box, picking it up and placing it on the coffee table before I took a seat on the couch. It was late and I had work the next day, but all I could think about was this stupid box and its contents. With slight hesitation, I pulled open the flaps of the box and peered inside.

I shuddered as I reached in and pulled out the first thing my fingers came into contact with. The medium sized notebook dangled in my hand as I fished it out and laid it on the table, moving the box to the floor by my feet. I had seen the notebook in Noah's possession many times before, but had never dared to look, much less asked what was inside. My hands shook as I opened the book and stared down at the writing on the first page. 'This is not the book you are looking for. Property of Noah Gains.'

I choked back a laugh as I felt tears start to pool in the ducts of my eyes. Though he didn't like to admit it to anyone, Noah had a horrible obsession with Star Wars and this little introduction just made that even more clear and brought back a few good memories of him. I flipped through pages and pages of lyrics, pages with tiny doodles and pages that had been practically ripped to shreds before I landed on a familiar song title. Asshole. It had been the first original song Noah had played for me and even though it had been about a past girlfriend, I had still gotten hooked immediately.

My fingers fumbled through the CD's that lay at the bottom of the box as I leaned over the opening to get a better look. I searched for the plastic case that had the coinciding title before I stood and walked over to the sound system next to the tv. Popping in the disk, I pressed play on the machine, instantly regretting it as Noah's voice filled the room. My one hand moved to cover my mouth as the other reach out and hit the stop button.

I don't know what I had expected. I knew that I would hear his voice, but I didn't expect it to make me feel the way it did. Before the incident when he spoke I felt light, like actual butterflies were fluttering around in my stomach. But now it felt like my skin was crawling. My insides constricted as I sat back on the ground and just stared at the wall behind the stereo. My shoulders shook and my eyelids fluttered as I held back the tears that waited for the perfect moment to spill over.

With a deep breath, I reached out and once again pressed the play button. It took a moment, but eventually I laid back against the carpet underneath me and shut my eyes, letting the smooth sounds of Noah's guitar invade my ears. Maybe after I listened to these CD's I would finally get the answers to the questions I still had lingering in my brain after all these years.