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evangeline blackwood

The walls of the house is shaking as I enter the living room. A very distinct aroma of beer and perfume hits me and it makes me dizzy. The vibrations from the music makes the floor shake and I attempt to push myself through the array of sweaty bodies.

Grabbing a drink from the table, I sneak a quick glance into the kitchen to see Adonis already there, with a girl practically hanging off his arm. I ignore the way my stomach churns at the sight and the overwhelming feeling of jealousy consuming my entire body.

"You good?" Morgan asks and I know it's just an excuse to tear my eyes away from his best friend.

"Yeah." My eyebrows furrow, "Why aren't you drunk?"

"Lucozade." He lifts his cup, "Designated driver. Need to get Rory and Ashanti home."

My lips tug up, "Aw, cute."

He laughs lightly, "You got plans?"

"Was going to see if Adonis wanted to go somewhere, don't really want him drinking." I shrug, "He seems a bit busy."

"If he breaks your heart, I'll break his face. Brother or not."

"Ain't no one breaking my heart, Morgs." I scoff, finding comfort in his statement. "Since when did you get all protective?"

"Your brother ain't here so it's my job." He states lightly but bluntly, before gesturing his head towards Adonis and the girl. "He ain't interested in any of them, you know?"

"Mhm."

Morgan grins, pointing towards the empty space in the living room where a boy is dancing on his own. "Show him how it's done."

I sense the double entendre in his words and shake my head, taking his advice. Necking my drink, I approach him with confidence that I didn't know I had. Recognising the boy from my English Lit class, I know he's a bit of a fuckboy from his cocky smirk as he watches me approach him.

Wrapping my arms around his neck, I press my body flush against his. The slight nerves that linger within my stomach dissipate the moment that our lips touch and I swear all I can see is Adonis. Pathetically, I attempt to keep the blue-eyed boy out of my mind but all I can think about is him. The dark, messy hair. Blue eyes. The way his lips tasted like mint and vodka and safety.

We break apart. Adonis' face fades out of my mind. I don't like it. If I was trying to forget him, it didn't work. This didn't change anything.

The boy looks directly at me and I suddenly feel extremely guilty for doing this to him, making him almost a test subject in my emotional experiments. I'm drunk and jealous and sad and I just want to take back everything wrong I've ever said.

I don't even know his name.

Instead of addressing him like I know I should, I rush off through the large crowd and find the nearest bathroom.

I lace my fingers around the white sink, avoiding looking into the mirror. The door slams shut behind me and I realise that someone followed me in.

"I need a minute."

"Okay."

I froze, my fist tightening against the sink. Inhaling deeply, I pull my hands away and turned around to look at him.

He's studying me. His gaze flickers from my ruffled clothing to my face where I know that my lips are undoubtedly swollen and my eyes glassy with the aftereffects of the alcohol.

I lean back onto the sink and cross my arms across my chest, "What do you want, Dee?"

"I want to know how you're feeling." He says, taking a step forward. "I want to know if you did that because of me."

I swallow the lump in my throat, "What?"

"I know you saw me earlier with that girl. You didn't come up to me."

"Maybe I just wanted to kiss him." I hold my head up, not letting my stare waiver for even a second.

"You ain't that sort of girl, Eva." He replies softly, "I know you ain't."

"Maybe you don't know me as well as you think." I shrug.

"Nah, I think I know you just fine." The silence that hangs between us is deafening until he finally breaks it. "Did you do it because of me?"

His blue eyes cut into me and I can't find it in myself to lie to him. I replied softly, "Yeah."

"She wouldn't leave me alone, I was trying to find you and Morgan disappeared." He explains. "I didn't want to stay here without you."

He takes a step closer and I stop breathing. That's when I finally notice his attire. His black shirt hugs all the right places, highlighting the muscles in his arms that I didn't even know existed. It's long sleeved as well. His aftershave is strong but not too strong, if that makes sense. The dimmed bathroom light makes his eyes glow and his black eyelashes look long.

He's so beautiful, like the sort of person you see in a modelling magazine or on a Calvin Klein advert.

"I didn't like it when I saw you with her." I admit quietly.

"Good, I didn't like it when I saw you with him." He reaches his hand out and places a strand of my hair behind my ear. My breathing hitches as he itches closer to me, eyeing my lips.

Brown drifted to blue and it was all over.

His lips captured mine in a harsh kiss, driving them apart with the blunt force of it. There was nothing gentle about the way he kissed me. The door shakes against my back as Adonis shifts and presses me firmly against it, his hands moving up to hold my face. My entire mind exploded into a seemingly never ending white bliss, desire and lust begins to twist around inside of me.

I try to pull away, breathless, but he mutters the word 'No' against my lips. The modicum of restraint left in me breaks. I slid my hands under his top, dancing against his warm skin, and pull him closer. He groans instantly, a pleading and awfully desperate groan that set every inch of my skin on fire.

"Dee..." I breathe out, panting. He kisses down my neck, sucking slightly against the sensitive skin. I let out a shaky breath, ignoring the way that my hands craved to hold his bare skin.

He pulled away from me and he leans his forehead on mine, licking his lips.

"I don't wanna..." He tries to get his breath back, I'm struggling too. "I don't wanna do anything yet."

This is so dangerous. I tense up and I feel him freeze as he notices, drawing himself away from me.

"Ev-"

I take a step back, holding my hands up. "I can't."

"Don't do that." He catches my hand, pulling me back towards him.

My eyes narrow at his tone, "Do what?"

"Runaway from me." Them striking blue eyes hypnotise me once again, "Eva, I felt something when I kissed you. I felt something each time I've kissed you. And you kissed me back every time so I know you felt that too, no matter how much you try to hide."

"Who says I'm hiding?" I take a step forward. My eyes flicker back to his lips and before I can even hesitate, our lips lock once more.

It's short and sweet, and judging by the smirk on his lips it's purposely so I'm left wanting more.

He wraps his arms around me and I melted into his embrace, laying my head into the crook of his neck.

I really wish we could stay like this forever.

"Do you want to go out for dinner with me?" He mumbles into my hair.

Stop hiding. This is what you want, "Yeah, when?"

"Now."

I grin, not managing to hold myself back. "Yeah."

His smile matches mine, "Meet me downstairs in ten minutes."

He's out the door within a second and I'm left with my own thoughts. Looking into the bathroom mirror, I straighten my hair out and my fingers gently skim my swollen lips.

No one else has ever made me feel like this.

I'm on my way downstairs when I hear crying coming from one of the bedrooms. As much as I don't want to pry, I can't leave someone to cry alone. So I approach the bedroom slowly, giving an opportunity for them to shout at me to leave them alone, before I open the door.

"Hey?" I say into the darkness. There's loud sobbing coming from the bed and, as the moonlight glitters through the windows, I see exactly who the cries belong to. "Apollo?"

His entire face is busted up, dried blood covering his nose and his lip.

"Who did that to you?" I breathe out, completely lost for words.

He doesn't even acknowledge my words. He's lay on the bed, gripping one of the pillows as close to his body as it can possibly go, staring at the wall.

"I had my first time in here." He starts off quietly, blinking.

I stay silent.

"I'd never been with a girl, never wanted to. Didn't want to be with a boy either. Until.." He pauses, lowering his voice. "Until I met Logan. He was just different, didn't judge me, didn't care that I was 18 and more inexperienced than my 15 year old brother. He was just...good to me."

"Did he-" I don't need to finish the sentence, he knows what I mean.

He sounds so defeated, so miserable. "I caught him kissing a girl, confronted him and then suddenly I was getting the living daylights kicked out of me. Him and his mates."

"I'm sorry, Apollo, I'm so sorry."

This isn't Logan, I want to say. This isn't him.

"Don't, it wasn't your fault." Silent tears embrace his face, he's no longer sobbing. "They were calling me dirty, a faggot, a pedo. I'm barely even an adult. I've had sex twice, man. And this is where we first did it. Guess that makes me dirty, doing it at a party in some randoms house but I was so fucking scared of it. Lo was amazing, guided me through everything, was patient and kind and amazing. And now....he's just gone."

"Have you loved anyone?" He asks but doesn't wait for my answer. "I think I love him, E. I think I do and I don't want to. I don't want to love Logan, I don't want to love a lad. Look at me, this is what happens to people like me. I don't want to be like this anymore but I've spent so long just trying to be someone else. It's just hit me, so quick, and it's ripping me apart limb from limb. I'm scared."

"It hurts." He whimpers, still not tearing his stare from the wall. "It hurts so much. I was so lonely before I met him, before I met someone who understood. I had a boyfriend and a family but it wasn't the same, I've never felt like this. I keep waiting for him to call me, crying, telling me he's sorry, telling me he's made the worst mistake of his life. I keep waiting for him to come back. He isn't though, is he? He's left us, E."

"He'll come back." I say miserably, desperately hoping for my words not to be a lie.

But Apollo justs chuckles, brokenly. "I can't believe he did this to me."

I reach out to hold him, try to offer him some comfort, but he flinches back so violently that he almost falls off the bed.

Taking a step back, eyes wide, I hold my hands up so he knows I'm not a threat.

"I'm sorry, I ...I..." His breathing begins to quicken and his fists tighten in the pillow.

"It's fine, Apollo." I comfort, "Do you need me to get someone?"

"No, no." He whimpers, "Just...stay with me. Please."

I crawl onto the other side of the bed slowly so I don't startle him. He snuggles up closer to me and I wrap my arm around his shoulders as he rests his head on my stomach.

"You're going to be okay. He can't hurt you no more." I whisper, running my fingers through his hair.

The door opens slowly and Adonis' head pops up at the door. He looks from me to Apollo to the bruises and cuts on his face. His mouth opens and I shush him before he speaks, knowing he wouldn't lower his voice under any circumstances.

Apollo is still crying, whimpering to himself. Dee seems to realise that questioning the situation won't make it any easier and instead sits on the bed next to us.

"'Lo?"

At his brothers voice, Apollo lifts his head and immediately falls into his twin's arms.

"You're safe, man. Okay? I love you." Adonis grips the back of his brothers head and his bicep tenses as he holds his brothers head to his. "Let it all out."

And he does.

I don't know how long it takes. But Apollo stays in his brothers arms for what seems like forever.

We take him home, Dee basically carrying him into the house and then returning just 5 minutes later with different clothes on and a solemn expression.

He climbs into his car, gripping the steering wheel. He doesn't look at me.

"Who?"

"Who gave him the bruises?" I clarify, going to continue before Adonis starts speaking again.

"Who made him cry like that?"

I breathe out, "Logan."

He punches the wheel. "I'll fucking ruin him for doing that to my brother."

"He went too far."

"I know you care about him, Eva, so I restrained myself for you. But I can't do that now. He put his hands on you and now my brother? If I see him, I'm going to put him in hospital. I don't give a fuck."

Confession: Sometimes you need to give up on people. Sometimes, you need to take a step back and question why the fuck you're letting someone treat you like shit.