"Well now we're really through, all gotta start all over again..." 

*

How cruel life could be was a circumstance Brian Jones only knew to well, but until now he had no idea how cruel it really could be. His hands were buried in his blond hair, which nearly shimmered golden in the late afternoon sun that shone through the open balcony door. The white curtains were quietly blowing thanks to a soft breeze that not only seemed to bring some relief for the warm weather, but also an exotic melody to the hotel room. It would have been a peaceful scene if it hadn't been for the shattered furniture and the deeply hurt young man, who sat weeping on the bed in the middle of the scenery. 

There are many ways to leave somebody and none are without heartbreak, but some are so painful that we'll either lose ourselves completely or go insane from the immense pain. There was no cure and not even time could heal some wounds- the memories might fade, but like a nasty scar they would forever be burnt into our very being.

Brian felt it in his chest and his stomach. His heart beat heavy against his rib cage, making him feel claustrophobic in his own body and his stomach was so heavy as if he had wallowed a whole brick. He wanted to yell, scream his pain away or smash the last pieces of furniture to get rid of his anger, but there was no energy left in him. All he could manage was to weep pathetically.

Thereby his day had started so fine. Brion had taken him out to the market place to record some local musicians and Brian had seriously forgotten for a minute his anger over Anita and Keith. Until then it had only been a dreadful suspicion that the two had hooked up behind his back. For months there had been secret glances between them, but Brian hadn't wanted to acknowledge it. His and Keith relationship had just started to improve again and Anita- hadn't she said she loved him and could even see herself marrying him someday? He had been such a fool to trust them. Brian should have seen it coming, after all no one could truly love him... He was condemned to be alone and left by the people he cared about. 

It wasn't only the betrayal of his lover and his good friend that pained him so much, but the fact that the others- Mick, Marianne and Tom had just abandoned him here on his own as well. They had planned it, not caring how he would feel if they all just left him to drown in his misery. The worst was in some twisted manner Brian nearly believed that he deserved it. He had mistreated Anita the night before, but couldn't she see he had just done so, because he had been so frustrated and afraid to lose her love? He really had tried, but in the end it always seemed to turn out to be in vain. First he lost his music, then his band and lastly his love and why? Because he could do nothing right; he couldn't write songs, couldn't hold his position as leader, couldn't be a person someone could respect nor love.... All Brian could be, was pathetic. 

"Why can't anyone love me?" he whispered meekly. "Am I really that awful?"

The empty room held no answer for him and Brian felt even more alone than he previously had. If one of them had at least stayed to comfort him, he might have been able to chase the loneliness away eventually, but instead they had just send him on a quest to distract him and give them time to disappear. They hadn't even bothered to leave a note for him to inform him of their sudden departure- he had to discover that the hard way on his own, running around the hotel in a panic, aimlessly searching for his friends, pleading the hotel staff for information only to be told they had checked out... without him. Would a warning have been too much, when they had had enough time to take his money, credit cards and his camera? 

"Does anyone even care about me?" He whispered anew and the empty room gave him the same reply as before, silence.

"I-I wish I was dead! Maybe then they realised how much they loved me," Brian yelled out full of frustration and gave into his sobbing. He hugged his legs to his chest and buried his face in his knees as if he wanted to hide his tear filled face. In truth he just didn't  want to see how pitiful he was behaving.

"You shouldn't wish for death. You never know, who might be listening in and grant you your will."

Abruptly Brian stopped crying and time froze for him. A reply was the last thing he had expected. As slowly as he could he raised his head from his knees to search for the source of the voice that had caught him so off guard. It was a woman, which he had already figured from the feminine sound of the voice. She had long wavy dark hair and tan skin, indicating she probably was a local- though her accent had unmistakably been British, even if he couldn't tell exactly where she was from and her light eyes seemed to point to a mixed heritage too. Her clothes were again typical Moroccan, but the way she held herself was different from everyone else he had met up until now. It made Brian curious as much as it unsettled him. No matter how alluring or intriguing she appeared to be, who was she and how had she gained access to his room?

"Who are you?" He asked. His voice was much weaker than he had intended it to be. Brian wanted to be strong, but there was no ounce of energy left inside him. They had taken that along with them as well.

"Just a hotel maid," she replied casually, as if she hadn't just lied and stepped closer to the open window. The wind caught her long hair and made it fly, while her face all of sudden held a very longing expression. 

Brian was about to open his mouth and ask her where her uniform was or to well tell her to leave him alone, but she didn't give him a chance. Her voice was hardly more than a whisper and still it was enough to silence Brian. "It wasn't right to leave you here on your own. Nobody deserves such a treatment..."

There were a million different thoughts inside his head, anger, questions and suspicious, but lastly relief won- whoever she was, she cared- or did she simply pity him? Brian bid his lip, maybe he was pathetic, but he didn't want to be pitied. 

"I don't want your pity..." Brian mumbled weakly.

He still could only see her face from the side, but it was enough to notice the little smile. If only it was turned towards him, he bet it was dazzling. "You shouldn't confuse pity with kindness. I help people, because it is the right thing to do, not because I feel sorry for them."

"Nobody helps a stranger, just because it is the right thing to do... especially not if the stranger is me." Brian snorted. "So what do you want? Money? Fame? Or something else? Sex? If that's it, just come on over and I'll fuck you quickly, so you can just leave me be alone to swallow in my misery."

Her face didn't change at all. The small smile was where it had been a minute ago as was the longing expression in her eyes and Brian's anger wavered. Were her motifs really as selfless as she had claimed and he had misjudged her, he wondered. "You should ask yourself what it is what you want, rather than ask me."

"What I want? I do what I want! I'm- I started the Rolling Stones, because I wanted a band, we played the songs I chose, I lead a life many envy!" Brian exclaimed confident, though a big part of him felt anything else than confident. He was lying to himself and not very successfully. His music- the blues was abandoned in favour of more commercial sounds, the Stones were no longer his band, he had started to despise being famous, Anita had left him- to be fair Brian thought there was nothing much to be envious off and the girl seemed to share his belief.

"But is that what you truly want? Does it make you happy?" She turned her back to the window and Brian met her gaze that was filled with kindness, that made his heart melt and his eyes nearly water. She was right, maybe it had been once what he had wanted, but he no longer did... but what did he want? To play again the blues with the band he once had founded and have Anita next to him? Brain didn't know. It sounded tempting, but impossible. He couldn't turn back time, and neither could she.

"Even if I'd know what I want you wouldn't be able to help me or can you grant wishes?" he taunted her with the same fake confidence he had previously used on her and she looked as easily through him as before. The kind smile turned into a playful grin, and his sadness turned into caution.

"I could fulfill you a million wishes, but as long as you don't know what it is your heart truly desires, you'll never find the happiness you seek. You need to understand yourself first or you'll be forever caught in a very dark place, forever chasing after something you can never have."

"You don't know anything about me..."he mumbled cautiously. Brian felt on edge all of sudden. There was obviously something wrong with this woman and his least worry probably was that she claimed to be a hotel maid, when she wasn't. Beside the kindness, she radiated, there was something dangerous as well. 

"Maybe I don't know you, Brian Jones, but I can recognise a man who needs help and who lost all hope."

Everything that left her mouth seemed to have been put on a balance first. No word was too much or out of place and Brian wondered if he was perhaps only imagining her and she wasn't real... Maybe he had finally done it and gone insane.

"Just leave me alone," Brian mumbled and buried his head once more in his knees, wishing that the next time he raised it she would be gone, whatever she was.

"If that's what you wish." He heard her announce and then another noise, as if she had put something down on the nightstand next to him. He wanted to make sure, but decided against it and kept his head down. There were no footsteps on the carpet, but Brian felt her presence slip away. 

 "The right cup of tea has been able to open many eyes before," she told him just as he felt it disappear completely.  

*

  Thank you for reading, voting and commenting!<33