Waking up was painfully slow. Barry was brought around to awareness but he had yet to open his eyes. He strained his ears to pick up any sounds around him and when he heard hushed voices, he opened his eyes. The last thing he remembered was Korxky trying to strangle him because he didn't want anyone else to have him.

Barry blinked up at the ceiling, trying to clear the blurriness that was accompanying him at the moment. There was not a single place on his body that wasn't sore from his ordeal and his body felt heavy, like it was being weighed down by lead. He could still feel the darkness pulling at the corners of his mind, trying to pull him back into the depths. However, he fought to keep his eyes open and stay awake for the time being.

Turning his head towards the sound of the hushed whispers, he saw who it was that was speaking in the room; the four who currently were occupying the space in the room were none other than Oliver, Snart, Joe, and Caitlin. None of them had realized that he'd woken up yet, too invested in the conversation to be watching him, and Barry was kind of relieved about that. Closing his eyes, he decided to listen in on the conversation they were having on his well-being.

"What do you mean Barry didn't heal from some of the damage sustained in the attack?" Oliver's voice.

"Barry was buried alive for almost seven hours in a wooden box, six feet underground. From the damage to his hands, he must've clawed at the lid for at least two of those hours. The damage to his vocal cords came from screaming for a long time; Korxky trying to strangle him only made it worse. And whatever the concoction that Korxky had used on him was damaging enough on its own." Caitlin explained.

"Caitlin." Joe sounded upset. "How bad?"

There was a sigh and several moments of silence before the scientist spoke. "Physically, he'll heal in time but . . . psychologically I can't say yet. Not until he wakes up—it's just that what he went through must have been so traumatizing. He's probably going to try to push us out, he's not going to want to talk about it and he's not going to want to remember."

Barry chose that moment to open his eyes again and sit up slowly, drawing attention to himself. Taking a particularly deep breath to reign in his emotions, he took a closer look around the room. Snart was tense, leaning against the doorway, his eyes set on the red speedster in the bed. Oliver was watching him with eyes that looked bloodshot and he was no longer in his Arrow suit. Joe was standing in front of Caitlin on the left side of the bed.

"W. . .wh. .at—" Barry struggled to speak as his voice slipped past his lips brokenly. He knew from what he heard Caitlin say that his vocal cords were damaged. It didn't stop him from becoming frustrated as he tried to speak again, this time managing a barely audible rasp. "Wh. . .at hap. . .pened?"

The effort it was taking for him to speak was ridiculous and it was causing him slight discomfort. Barry didn't like to feel helpless and as of late, that's all that he seems to portray. The epitome of helplessness. He'd been kidnapped and tortured to his breaking point, he'd been drugged with something that set his organs on fire, and he'd been buried alive. . . . And he'd almost been sexually assaulted. He was scared, he was angry and most of all Barry was ashamed.

Barry knew he shouldn't have cared about exposing his identity as the Flash when he was first attacked in that alley. He understood that because he didn't use his speed to get away in the first place, he had wittingly put himself in that situation. If he were to voice how he felt to his surrounding loved ones, they'd all tell him that he shouldn't blame himself. They'd say that he was caught off guard, that he was so scared he wasn't thinking clearly.

But they'd be wrong. He was a superhero, he was constantly in a state of fear in his line of work and he was able to save lives and prevent things like this from happening to other people. So why couldn't he save himself from the same?

Oliver moved closer to the bed, hesitating for a brief moment before he gently covered Barry's right hand with his own. "Hey Bar, does it hurt to talk?"

Barry gazed at Oliver intently, his hazel-green eyes dim and flickering to the other man's hand on top of his. That's right. The night before he'd been kidnapped, Oliver had kissed him and he'd been freaking out about what it meant and if the other man wanted something more with him. He had forgotten about it since his time as a captive. He wasn't sure how to feel right now but he did know that he didn't want to be alone.

"No." When Barry spoke the word came out as a hoarse whisper. "I'd like some water though—" Barry broke off as he was reminded of asking Korxky for the same thing as a way to stall. Shaking his head, he felt his chest start to tighten.

Snart had disappeared from the room the moment Barry had asked for water and returned with a small glass only seconds later. The man was still tense, although his face was more relaxed now, aside from a single crease above his brow, indicating that he was worried about something. As Len handed the speedster the glass, he glanced at Caitlin before speaking.

"Barry, are you okay?"

Barry drank the entire glass of water before he looked straight at Len, his face blank and devoid of any emotion. He didn't want to lie because everyone already knew what had almost happened to him. And that was the worst part about this. They KNEW.

"You know it's okay if you're not," Joe pitched in, reading his adopted son like a book. "You don't have to be strong right now, Barry. A terrible thing happened to you, no one here is expecting you to be that."

Barry couldn't find the words to express how he was really feeling right now. If he were to try to put it into words, he felt empty and bare for the world to see. He felt ashamed. He was traumatized by what he went through and he didn't know if he would even be the same after this. He'd cried most of his tears when they'd found him, he remembered that quite vividly. He also remembered being locked in that box in the ground just as vividly as he could remember what happened the night his mom was killed. This event has been etched into his mind and will never go away, just like Korxky's face will be etched into his memory for the rest of his life.

Barry for once just wanted to be normal. He knew that if his mom had never been killed, his life would have been very different. This incident may never have happened to him and Joe never would have adopted him, and he never would have gotten struck by dark matter-infused lightning. That man, even though he's dead will continue to haunt Barry even in his dreams. He knew it. The Reverse Flash certainly did. He could still feel Korxky's hands around his throat, slowly choking the life out of him.

Sometimes he wondered how much more heartache, pain, and trauma he could take before he was broken beyond repair.

The sound of glass shattering and stinging pain in his hand brought Barry from his deep cacophony of thoughts. He'd been staring at a spot past Len's head, zoned out to the max; the glass he'd been holding had broken under the force he had applied due to slowly becoming agitated. He heard Caitlin exclaim in disbelief and watched as she left the room to get something to patch up his hand. Which now that he's looking at, he could see blood streaming down his palm and onto the white sheets.

"Sorry. . . I didn't realize," Barry said hoarsely to the three remaining people in the room. He watched as Oliver and Len gently pried open his hand to see the damage and Barry caught himself staring at the blood dripping onto the sheets, zoning out again. An image of Korxky's lifeless body on top of him flickered in his mind and he felt his chest tighten some more. Trying hard to erase the image, he stifled a sob as Caitlin returned with Cisco in toe carrying bandages and gauze.

"Barry, there's no need to apologize. You're dealing with a lot right now." Len said, his voice soft which Barry would laugh about at any other given time. It was out of character for Leonard Snart to show any type of affection unless it was towards his sister. "I wouldn't wish what happened to you on anyone, even my enemies."

Oliver took all the glass that had been in Barry's fist and set it aside before moving to the side for Caitlin to have access to him. Barry watched as Caitlin began to patch up his hand thinking about how she always took care of him when he got hurt. He turned his head to look at Oliver, who seemed apprehensive about something but his eyes were on Barry. His eyes which were blue like the sea, held something akin to concern and love as he looked upon him.

Oliver reached out suddenly toward Barry's face, brushing a few strands of hair back from his forehead. His touch was soft and gentle and Barry couldn't help himself, leaning into the caress as Caitlin continued to clean his cut. He felt safe like this, he felt at peace for the moment even if he knew it may be brief. He didn't mind Oliver caressing his hair right now, he just knew it made him feel tranquility.

"You know, we're going to have to talk about that kiss sooner or later," Oliver spoke quietly, a soft smile forming.

Barry looked at him, beaming softly. Since his vocal cords and throat felt less sore he figured he could speak now. "I know. To answer your earlier question, I know I'm not okay. I don't know when I will be, or IF I'll get there. I don't know how to cope with this. He didn't succeed in doing the worst possible thing to me but the other stuff. . ."

Cisco rested his hand on his shoulder and smiled. "You're not in this alone, Barry. We're all here for you, whether you want us to be or not. You're my best friend, I'm damn sure not leaving you alone to figure this out and heal on your own."

"If you ever thought you were alone Scarlett, you're never alone. You've got your family here and you even got me somehow." Len remarked with a smirk. Barry noted that he was slipping back into himself, which meant he wasn't too worried anymore. The worry crease over his brow was gone now.

Joe ruffled Barry's hair for a brief moment before saying, "You're my son through and through. You always got me."

When Barry turned to Caitlin, she just smiled and hugged him. She had finished patching him up and he knew she always worried about him. It may seem at first glance that she doesn't worry much but he's seen her when Cisco was hurt. He never wanted to see her like that again.

"I swear if this keeps up, I'm gonna have a heart attack worrying about you." Caitlin jokingly said. "I'm just glad you're home."

Barry smiled back at her. "I'm glad to be home. Thank you guys, I'm really glad I have you all in my corner."

Barry wasn't sure when he'd be back to normal and not living life with the memories from this incident haunting his every waking moment and festering even when he closed his eyes, but he knew that with the help of his family and friends, he'd get there.