[Paris POV]

I hadn't slept well the last couple of days and my skin was still itching with held back energy. I sighed as I decided that staying in bed wouldn't help me one bit. It was Thursday already but it was still not close enough to the weekend.

Ever since I joined my friends Isabella and Timo at that club called 'Desire' last weekend I had had a hard time settling down. All those powerful, mouthwatering men in leather had made my inner gay guy cheer in happiness and I had enjoyed the night immensely. Although I had used one of the club's wrist bands to make sure I couldn't be approached I still had time to check people out. And let me tell you... I was not disappointed.

Some of those I saw had seemed too soft but a few had seemed promising enough. I had decided that I would be back this weekend and this time there would be no holding back. I would turn their club upside down, looking for their most sadistic player. Nothing could stop me and nothing would because I would be going alone this time.

My friends were great but they didn't understand my need for pain and therefor they always stepped in to stop me when all I wanted was to be hurt. I understood their concern but there were no need for them to fret this time.

I belonged to the Dom/sub world before I moved to this town and I am aware that there are lines even the most hardcore sadist can't overstep if he wants to keep his membership. That would be enough to make him stop if I wanted him to. Not that that would ever happen...

With those happy thoughts in mind I got my running-clothes on and plugged in my earphones. I grabbed my keys from the table and stalked out from my apartment, slamming and locking the door behind me.

When I stepped out on the street outside my apartment complex I jumped on the spot, warming up slightly before I took of running down the street. It was cold this time of the year but I didn't really mind. The cold was also a kind of pain and since I was big on that shit I somehow found it enjoyable.

While I kept running down the street my thoughts drifted back to the club and I felt something stir inside me. I had a feeling I would get what I wanted from that place and I couldn't wait until I could go there again.

I slid on the icy pavement as I turned the corner of the block but after catching my balance against the ground I kept running towards the park. It had been some time since I last attempted to have someone inflict pain on me and I knew I wouldn't have time until this weekend which meant that I would be going to the club so full of energy I would most surely land my ass in big trouble.

I would have to make sure I could keep in control until I found someone who could take me down or otherwise I would most likely explode in there and go crazy on some poor soul.

Yes, it has happened before. Not a good memory... not a good memory at all...

When I got back from my run I took a quick shower and then I ended up watching a movie for the rest of the day. Yes it was a good one so you can't really blame me for staying inside the whole evening. It wasn't often Gladiator had a rerun on the channels I had so I guess I should be grateful for the distraction.

* * *

The next day I met up with my mum and she handed me my little sister and with a quick kiss on my cheek she was gone, leaving me with a overly-curious four-year old on my hands.

Of course I loved my mother but she could be a little forgetful sometimes and this Friday she had accidentally double-booked herself. She had told my dad that she could take care of Lily so he could go out drinking with his friends but as soon as he had left she had remembered the meeting she had with the women from her book-club. That had resulted in me having to babysit Lily and yeah... I know... joy.

I was twenty and had moved out of my parents place two years ago. It was simply luck on her part that I hadn't moved further away or else she would have had to cancel her 'very-important book club meeting' as she had put it when I asked. Sometimes even I could be nice though so I had agreed to her request and now I was playing caretaker for the day.

Lily wasn't my real sister, she was adopted by my parents as an infant because after me my mother couldn't have any more children of her own. That's why there was quite a gap between my sister and me in age but it hardly mattered. I considered Lily my blood-related sister and she was too young to consider us anything other than her family.

"Paish I want to go see the animals!" Lily suddenly exclaimed as we walked down the street, her little hand firmly held in mine. No one could say I didn't take my babysitting duties seriously. I didn't answer at first, still amused over the fact that she couldn't say 'r' and therefor couldn't pronounce my name right and making it sound more like 'Pa-i-sh'. It was adorable even for her.

"Hm... okay, we'll go." I finally answered with a tired sigh, making Lily squeal in happiness beside me. She loved animals and she always nagged our parents about going to the zoo. I guess I was doing them yet another favor in bringing her there. They would owe me big time for this.

When we arrived at the zoo I payed for our tickets and we went about running around the park the rest of the day. We saw a few of the animals but since it was January most of them were hiding inside. I only managed to convince Lily to take a pause when it was time for lunch and even then we were up and running again less than twenty minutes after we had sat down. I never knew taking care of a four-year old could be so tiring. I mean her energy was even surpassing mine and that's saying a lot!

"Okay little energy-monster after we've checked out the tigers we're heading home." I finally said, the clock on my mobile phone showing that it was already five o'clock. When Lily didn't answer I frowned and gave her a serious look.

"You hear me Lily? No more zoo for the day." I stated, looking at her as she pouted up at me.

Seriously she was even better than me at making that face.

After a few minutes of simply staring at her she finally nodded and I gave her hair a slight ruffle. The little brat swatted at my hand and literally started running away from me. I immediately gave chase, thinking that it wouldn't be wise to loose her inside the park since she could go tumbling down into one of the animal cages. Dammit she was fast!

I could see her zig-zag between people in front of us as she kept running with me at her heels. When we reached the part of the park where the tigers were kept she came to a stop though and I sighed in relief as I snatched her hand up in mine.

"I'm never letting go of this hand again, you hear me?" I muttered, not bothering to even reprimand her for running away so carelessly. She didn't understand it either way so what was the purpose? I wasn't raising a child here I was simply keeping an eye on her until our mother could take the responsibility back again.

We spent the last fifteen minutes at the park looking at the tigers and I couldn't help but laugh as Lily referred to them as 'kittens'. Well technically they were just big cats so I guess she was half-right about that.

When we left the zoo Lily was beginning to loose her energy and with a sigh I leaned down and picked her up. I carried her all the way back to where I was supposed to meet up with our mother and while I walked my sister fell asleep in my arms. I looked down on her as she nuzzled her face into the side of my neck and sighed as I kept walking. She could be a bit tiring to be with but at the end of the day it was still worth it. I loved the cute little snores that left her mouth as she slept and I knew I couldn't wish for a more adorable little sister.

When I arrived at the pick-up place my mother had chosen she was already there, sitting in her car and when I walked up to her she raised her eyes to look at us. She smiled at the way Lily was clinging to me and I rolled my eyes as she fished up her phone and snapped a picture of us standing there.

"Did you have a nice time together? Oh well I can see that you had so I guess I should be thanking you Paris. I'm really sorry if I ruined your Friday but I really didn't have that much of a choice. I'm grateful though and I'll make sure to make it up to you sometimes soon. Maybe you can come over and have dinner with us one of these days?" My mother asked, carefully taking Lily from my arms.

I watched as she put my sleeping sister in the car and then closed the door gently behind her. When she finally turned back to me I shrugged my shoulders and scratched the back of my neck.

"Well... I don't really have that much free-time..." I started but when my mother raised an eyebrow at me I sighed and continued:

"... but I'll come over anyway..."

She nodded at me, her face happy as she pulled me into a tight hug and kissed my cheek.

"Perfect! I can't wait and I'm sure your dad will be happy to see you. Feel free to bring... someone with you if you want." She said, her eyes serious as she looked at me and I huffed at her.

I knew what she meant when she said 'someone'. She thought I was dating someone after a friend of hers had told her about seeing me in the city with a guy about a week ago. My parents knew that I was gay and they had read too much into it thinking that he was my boyfriend. Now she wouldn't stop bothering me about taking him home and introducing them to each other and there was no way I could explain that he had just been one of many in the line of 'possible sadistic guys' I had decided to try out.

He hadn't been the one and even if he had I wouldn't have taken him home to meet my parents. They were aware of the fact that I enjoyed pain but they didn't know exactly how much. If they did they would probably have a heart failure.

"Yeah maybe..." I answered awkwardly, not knowing exactly what to say. She rolled her eyes at my vague response but then she smiled and turned back to the car. She slid inside and waved at me as she pulled out into the late-night traffic. I waved back and waited until they were gone before I started walking back through the snow towards my own apartment.

All I needed now was a hot bath and my comfy bed to feel human again.

* * *

Saturday came and went with me not doing anything special. I got some work done on a report I was expected to hand in to my professor this Monday but I couldn't finish it because my body was itching and I had a hard time concentrating on the paper. I had been holding out for more than a week now and I knew I needed to find someone that could subdue my desires and ground me again soon or I would be having huge troubles on my hands.

It wasn't a choice to go to the club tonight, it was a necessity.

When the clock struck eight I bounced into my bedroom, walking up to my wardrobe to pick out something to wear. I took my time choosing since I needed something daring but not too much. I wanted to look desirable not slutty, if you know what I mean.

After half an hour I had dressed and was on my way to the club. I had settled for skinny, ripped black trousers and a dark gray shirt that hung a bit loose. The shirt's neckline where hanging down, exposing the upper part of my pale chest and my collarbones. For some reason I liked it.

This time I left my Devine Punishment at home, thinking that if everything went according to my plans I would get enough pain tonight as it was. It felt a bit sad to leave it behind though and I missed the feeling of it against my skin as the taxi dropped me off outside the club's entrance. I payed the driver and he gave me a slow once over which made me laugh.

"I'm so not your type man, believe me." I said with a small smirk and a wink. The guy literally went crimson and before I knew it he had pulled of the curb and was speeding down the street away from me.

I chuckled to myself as I shrugged my shoulders and turned my attention towards the club instead. I wondered briefly if it was a bad idea to go to this place tonight but a second later I dismissed the thought. No this was a good way to find safe guys who could still make me beg and cry.

It had been a while since I played in the BDSM-community though and I knew how hard it would probably be for me tonight. The Doms at the last club I had a membership at had had a hard time getting me to submit and let go of my control and it was safe to say it wouldn't be easier this time around, with me having been away from the scene for almost half a year and all that. Of course my so called 'desire' for pain had escalated too and I didn't even know if I would be able to find someone who could help me in here. I guess I could only hope.

When I stepped inside, letting the door fall shut behind me, warm air hit me straight on and I paused slightly to accommodate to the dimly lit club. I shrugged some snow away from my arms and then I raised my hands to slide down the hood from on top of my head. I unzipped my jacket and shrugged out of the warm piece of clothing. I shook my head from side to side, chuckling to myself as snow fell down on the rug beneath my feet. I guess the hoodie hadn't been enough to keep it out of my hair. Well, it wasn't that big of a deal, I liked snow so even if it messed up my hair I didn't really mind. Rain was a whole other affair though... I hated that nasty wetness.

I pulled a hand through my hair before I raised my eyes and took aim on the wardrobe over by the side of the door. When I walked up, a girl came up to the desk and smiled at me.

"Oh I think I've seen you before haven't I? You were here last week if I'm not mistaken?" She said, her voice a bit louder than normal so I would be able to hear her over the music. The main floor of the club was for dancing so the music were often a bit louder down here than in the rest of the club.

"Did I make that much of an impression huh?" I answered, shooting her one of my more rare smiles. She rolled her eyes at my cheekiness and I couldn't help but laugh at her expression as I handed her my jacket.

"Well I guess. It's not often you see a guy wearing a DP so I remember being surprised when I saw you." The girl said, her attention leaving me for a second as she left my jacket on a hanger and then went to get my tag.

"DP?" I asked, confused as to what she was referring to. The girl smiled at me as she came back around the corner and handed me the number-tag that indicated which hanger she had hung my jacket on. I slipped it inside the back pocket of my pants and then I turned my eyes back on the girl.

"Yeah, the Devine Punishment. I find it tiring to say the whole name so I've shorten it to 'DP'. Clever don't you think?" She beamed at me and I couldn't help but let out another laugh. Well it was obviously easier to say, that's for sure.

"I guess." I said, smiling at her.

"Yeah, well do you want one of the party- poopers tonight too?" She asked and I guess she saw my confused expression because she held up the bag of white wrist-bands she kept behind the desk. I actually burst out laughing at the mention of them as 'party-poopers' and I could see the girl shoot me an amused look.

"Haha no I'm good... I'm good." I forced out between fits of laugher and she grinned as she put back the bag underneath the desk.

"Great I wouldn't have handed you one either way. You seem to need some action tonight since you left the DP at home." She smirked and I looked at her in wonder. I couldn't help it though, the girl was really observant and I was surprised that she had figured that out just by looking at me.

"I guess you're right. You have any advice for me? Who should I go for?" I said, leaning slightly on the desk between us as I wiggled my eyebrows a bit. The girl laughed at me and let her eyes rake over the dance floor for a second before she let her gaze wander back to me.

"Hm I guess that depends on what you like. I presume you like pain but are you into sadism? Warren is a great Dom if you like them strict but attentive, Grayson like whipping but doesn't usually go further than that, Kian is... well he is probably not someone you'd want to choose. He's into all that lovey-dovey stuff and I actually wouldn't be surprised if he rode a unicorn and petted bunnies on his time away from here. Other than that there's Cole, Felix, Caleb, Azim, Anton and Kondor. Caleb already got a sub right now though so I guess he's out of the equation. There are several more but I think those are the ones who are here tonight." The girl said, her eyes trained on me as she counted all the Doms who were at the club tonight.

"I do like pain so please tell me that one of those you mentioned last are into sadism." I said, my eyes filled with hope as I looked at her. The girl smirked back at me, enjoying my eagerness more than she should. Yes I was a bit desperate right now, so what?

"Mhm... Felix, Azim and Kondor usually play down in the dungeon." The girl said, whipping her strawberry-blond hair over her shoulder as she leaned down over the counter. I smirked and raised an eyebrow at her.

"So can you tell me what they're into? You know so I know who to go for." I asked, my excitement barely contained as I looked into her blue eyes. She smiled wickedly at me and then she shrugged.

"I don't know all that much since I never have, and never will, step a foot down there. Although I do know that Azim is in charge of the dungeon and I guess that has to speak for something. I've seen Kondor leave with a sub, who could barely walk so I wouldn't say he's the 'nice-guy' type and I think Felix are more into humiliating stuff, you know emotional pain and all that." She answered, rolling her eyes as she mentioned Felix. Obviously she didn't think too fondly of him. Maybe he was really awful then? Maybe he was worth a try even though I'd never really regarded emotional play as especially painful.

"Well I appreciate the info. I guess I'll see if any of them are worth my time. Guard my jacket with your life please." I said, smirking at the girl as I turned on my heels. I could hear her laugh from behind me as I walked further into the club and then I heard her shout:

"The name's Gina by the way! Don't give in too easily, let them work for it!"

I shook my head when some people over at the dance-floor turned their eyes on me and I decided to turn around and stick my tongue out at her. I watched her eyes widen as she caught sight of my silver tongue-piercing and I smirked and winked before I blew her a quick kiss.

I didn't really watch where I was going when I turned back around and the next thing I knew I was walking straight into something hard. I stumbled backwards but a hand closed around my left wrist before I could fall to the ground.

"Whoopsie, careful now." A smooth voice said while I was pulled up on my feet again. I looked up and my eyes fell on a big guy with blond hair. He had a huge smile on his face and even though I could tell that he was a Dom I didn't really find it in me to lower my gaze. He seemed different than the Doms I've met before and I couldn't help the frown that took over my expression as I stared at him.

"Whoa, that's one expression I'd never think I'd see on a subs face." The guy said, smirking down at me as I kept holding his gaze. When he didn't blow up at my lack of respect I decided that he was a big 'no' for me and I raised an eyebrow at him as he kept smiling.

"Wait, wait, wait... let me guess... hm you're Kian aren't you?" I finally said, my voice making the Dom's eyes widen slightly.

"You... that's one hell of a arousing voice you got there little one. Its so... soft... feels like I'm listening to a breeze." The guy said, his eyes showing amusement as he watched my frown deepen. The hell was wrong with this Dom? He was acting so... tame?

"Are you sure you're a Dom...?" I heard myself ask and I immediately got a laugh in reply.

"You're one to speak little sub. You're acting so disrespectful one could think you've never been in a BDSM club before. Had it been anyone else you would have been forced down on the nearest table getting spanked right now. You're lucky I'm not really into that." He said, his voice amused as he looked at me. I frowned at that and raised an eyebrow at him before I huffed:

"How's that luck? I'm here to receive pain and you're telling me I'm lucky when you refuse to punish me? I would seriously bet the different."

The guy, Kian, first looked at me in surprise but then his smile returned and he let a small laugh escape his lips as he reached out and ruffled my hair. I immediately swatted at his hand but he pulled away before I could hit him properly. Annoying as hell.

"Oh my, you're a masochist? How interesting! You may doubt it but I like you, pet." Kian said, smiling at me as I sent him a questionable look. Well there was obviously something wrong with him if he actually liked me. No one ever did, I was awful. Especially when I hadn't received pain in a while. It tended to make me act really bratty which was why I was here. To get someone to teach me a lesson in proper behavior. Obviously Kian wasn't that person.

"Well that's great...? Bye." I finally said, giving him a slight wave as I proceeded to step around him and make my way over to the bar. I needed something to drink because my throat felt like it was dry as a desert.

It wasn't until I'd reached the bar that I realized that Kian had followed me and now he took a seat right next to me. I gave him a small glare when he told the guy behind the counter what he wanted and then turned to me with a raised eyebrow. I swallowed my irritation and after a deep breath I said with a sigh:

"Can I just have some water?"

The guy behind the bar nodded and proceeded to get us our drinks. As he filled up the glasses Kian turned his head towards me, tilting it slightly to the side as he seemed to study my face. When I finally couldn't take it anymore I whipped my head towards him and growled out:

"What?"

Kian's mouth split into a wide grin as he shrugged his shoulders and chose to stay silent. Could he get any more irritating? With him here no other Dom would approach me and I seriously wanted him gone before I blew up on him.

"I seriously hope you're not thinking of playing with me tonight Mister 'I'm into cuddling and long romantic walks on the beach' because I'm telling you now it wouldn't work out for any of us." I said and I watched as Kian's eyes glimmered in amusement and then he lightly slapped the back of my head as he answered:

"Don't be ridiculous I would never be able to hurt someone as pretty as you. It would probably make me feel guilty for years to come."

I stared at him for a second and then I suddenly burst out laughing. I kept laughing so much I almost fell of the barstool and I had to grab the counter to keep myself steady. My stomach began to hurt from how much I was laughing and I couldn't find it in me to be irritated at him any longer. He was seriously too amusing.

"Hahaha you... you're... I can't even... hahaha how lame... it's like hahah it's like you're doing it on purpose! I... ahaha..." I choked out, my voice quivering with how much I was laughing.

Kian looked at me with a gentle smile on his face as I kept laughing and even so I couldn't find it in me to care. Several of the people sitting at the bar turned their heads to look at me and that just made me laugh even harder.

"Oh my... you're hilarious, really Kian, I mean it. I don't like soft people but I have to admit you're something else entirely." I managed to say when I finally calmed down long enough to speak properly. Kian sent me a soft smile and I couldn't help it as I leaned closer to him and let a small smirk slip onto my face.

"You're great, thank you for making me laugh." I said, chuckling as he blushed slightly. Wow I'd never seen a Dom blush before! I guess there was a first for everything.

As I leaned back the guy behind the counter placed my water in front of me and I sent him a thankful look which he smiled at. I took the straw he had put in the glass into my mouth and then I slowly sipped at the water, letting the cool liquid slowly pour down my throat.

"Ahh... wonderful" I thought as I felt the dryness in my mouth go away and I couldn't help the soft sigh that escaped my lips.

The next thing I knew Kian stuck his own straw into my glass and quickly began to suck up all my water before me. I gasped as he managed to empty almost the whole glass before I had time to push him away and snatch my glass back.

"How... how could you...?!" I gasped as I stared at Kian, faking an expression of utter disbelief. The Dom smirked as he noticed my shocked face and then he let out a heartfelt laugh.

"Who said I couldn't be mean huh? That's your punishment for being rude before you little brat!" He laughed out loud, obviously proud of his own cleverness.

I couldn't bring myself to tell him just how lame that punishment actually was because he was acting like a little kid who thought he managed to do something smart for once. I just shock my head and laughed to myself.