Chapter 6
Meant

"Hello, Sir! Good morning!" maligayang pagbati ko kay Brendt nang pumasok ako sa loob ng kaniyang opisina.

His secretary surprisingly let me in without any appointments needed. Siguro'y hindi siya busy ngayon at magbababad lang sa kaniyang opisina.

Nakakunot-noo naman siyang nag-angat ng tingin sa akin. He raised his eyebrows when he saw me.

"I don't recall calling for you to come hear inside my office." mataman niyang sabi.

Inangat ko naman ang dala-dala kong paper bag saka inilabas ang lunch box na nakalagay dito. I cooked breakfast for him earlier. Maaga akong gumising para maipagluto ko lang siya ng umagahan. Hindi ako papayag na hindi niya 'to kakainin.

"I made you some breakfast!" sabi ko at nilagay sa coffee table ang lunch box pati na rin ang tumbler na mayroong malamig tubig.

Hindi ko ang kaniyang pagkain at pinunasan rin ng tissue ang mga kubyertos na dala ko bago nag-angat ng tingin sa kaniya.

His forehead is still creased. Mukhang wala siyang balak tumayo sa kaniyang kinauupuan para kainin na ang dinala kong breakfast para sa kaniya.

"Baka lumamig 'to. Mas masarap kumain kapag mainit ang pagkain." sabi ko naman siya at iwinagayway pa ang hawak kong tinidor.

"Just leave it there. I'll eat it later. I'm busy." sabi niya naman at binaba ang tingin sa mga papel na hawak.

"Lalamig 'to, Brendt." giit ko at hindi ko na ginawang pormal ang pagtawag ko sa kaniya.

I want him to realize that I'm not doing this because I'm his employee, but because I want to him to see me as a girl that can be his friend or... perhaps, his lover.

"Halika na dito." muli kong pag-aya sa kaniya nang muli siyang mag-angat ng tingin sa akin. Tinapik ko pa ang space sa tabi ko upang ituro kung saan ko siya gustong maupo. "Kumain ka na..." malambing kong pagpilit sa kaniya.

I let out a deep sigh before he stood up from his swivel chair. He loosened his necktie as he walked towards me.

I can see in his eyes that there are a lot of questions that he wants to ask me or maybe... he just wants to scold me because it's still office hours and I'm here, not doing my work.

"Eat, first. Questions, later." I stated as I handed him the spoon and fork.

Tinignan niya lang ako ng matagal at nang mapagtantong seryoso ako sa aking sinabi ay nagsimula na rin siyang kumain.

Pinanood ko kung paano niya kainin ang luto ko nang walang karekla-reklamo at naramdaman ko ang pag-init nang puso ko habang pinapanood siya.

I'm actually confident with my cooking skills because I always cook for myself and for my friends, but still... kapag may ibang tao nang kakain ng luto ko ay hindi ako ganoon kapanatag.

"You're not going to eat?" tanong niya nang mag-angat siya ng tingin sa akin at nakitang hindi pa ako kumakain.

Umiling ako at ngumiti. "Niluto ko talaga 'yan para sa'yo. And I already ate my breakfast before I left my unit."

"Next time, huwag mo na akong ipagdala ng breakfast." he coldly said before he continued to eat his breakfast.

He didn't take back what he said and finished his food. Of course, I'm still going to bring him breakfast if that's what it takes to win him and get the deal done.

"Thank you for the food." he thanked me when he finished eating. "And for what happened yesterday—"

"I'm not taking it back, Brendt." I instantly cut him off. "What I said yesterday is true. I really mean it. Hindi ko ikinakahiya ang kung ano man ang sinabi ko sa'yo kahapon."

He bit his lower lip and stood up. "Just stop this nonsense, Xylia." he said. "I don't want you to pity me because of what you saw or what happened yesterday. Just act like nothing happened. Act like you didn't say anything like that to me. You're just my employee and I'm your boss. Let's just stay that way."

Nanuyo naman ang aking lalamunan sa kaniyang sinabi. Hindi ko rin alam kung bakit nag-iinit ang gilid ng aking mga mata.

Fuck this! Am I going to cry because of this? This is absurd!

I looked up, trying to control my tears that were on the verge of my eyes. I smiled when I looked at him and I failed as a tear successfully escaped my eye.

"I'll go now, Sir Stewart." I formally said and  stood up to somehow level his gaze.

I left his office without turning back. Iniwan ko na rin doon ang lunch box na dala-dala ko kanina para sa breakfast niya. Sa kaniya nalang yun! Ako pa ang huhugasin niya, siya naman ang kumain.

Pagkalabas ko ng kaniyang opisina ay nagpasalamat akong wala doon ang kaniyang sekretarya. Huminga ako ng malalim at sumandal sa pintuan habang hinayaan ang paglandas ng aking luha.

"It's just a deal, Xy." I tried to console myself. "Why are you crying? Dahil ba sa five hundred thousand na mawawala sa'yo? Come on, it's okay! You have lots of it. Just let Deia win and halt the deal."

Napapikit ako ng mariin at pinatahan ang sarili ko. Kinuha ko ang aking panyo at pinunasan ang mga luhang lumandas sa aking pisngi.

I decided to freshen up my look and fix my make up in the lavatory before going back to our department. I need to start working now. I just wasted my time feeding him breakfast that he didn't even appreciate.

"I thought you're absent." bungad sa akin ni Kiel nang makasalubong ko siya.

Mukhang palabas siya at ako naman ay papunta na sa aking cubicle para makapagtrabaho.

"Kanina pa ako nandito." sabi ko. "Dumiretso lang ako sa office ni Sir Stewart dahil may sinigurado siya sa mga designs na binigay ko sa kaniya last time."

Ngumiti naman si Kiel. "I bet your designs will be approved by the board. I saw your designs in Brendt's office when I paid him a visit."

I heard my colleagues talking about Brendt and Kiel's friendship. Ang narinig ko'y matalik na magkaibigan ang dalawa. Well, I guess it's true.

"Thank you, Kiel." tipid na ngumiti ako sa kaniya. "Well, I have to get back to work. May mga gagawin pa akong kailangan kong matapos."

"Oh sure! Sorry kung naabala kita." paghingi niya ng paumanhin sa akin saka tumabi upang makadaan ako.

Nginitian ko naman siya para sabihing okay lang bago tumungo sa aking cubicle. Pagkaupo ko sa aking office chair ay napabuga nalang ako ng malalim na paghinga bago binuksan ang aking computer para makapagsimula na.

I succeeded drowning myself with work that I didn't notice that it was already lunch time until Kiel tapped my shoulder.

"Hey..." he greeted me with a smile when I turned to look at him. "Wanna go out for a lunch? It's already lunch time."

Ngumuso naman ako't tinignan ang aking cellphone upang tignan kung anong oras na.

It's already 12PM.

"Hmm... Sure! Sandali lang." sabi ko naman sa kaniya.

Mukhang hindi niya inaasahan ang pagpayag ko't sobrang laki ng ngiti na kaniyang pinakita sa akin.

Kinuha ko ang wallet ko mula sa bag at cellphone kong nakapatong sa aking table bago kami lumabas ni Kiel ng opisina para kumain.

"Where do you wanna eat?" he asked me as he pressed the down button of the elevator.

"Hmm... saan ka ba madalas kumakain tuwing lunch?" pagtanong ko rin sa kaniya habang tinatanaw ang pagpapalit-palit ng numero sa maliit na LED board ng elevator.

"I usually eat at any fast food chains or restaurants nearby or at the cafe downstairs." sagot nito. "But since I'm with you, kung saan mo gustong kumain ay okay lang. If you want to eat somewhere far the company, we can. My treat."

Tumunog ang elevator at kasabay noon ay ang pagbukas nito.

The smile that I'm wearing faded as soon as I saw the person inside the elevator, waiting for us to go inside.

"Brendt!" bati ni Kiel at pumasok na ng elevator saka tinapik ang balikat ni Brendt.

Nag-aalangan naman akong pumasok sa elevator ngunit bago pa ako nito mapagsarahan ay nagmadali na akong pumasok.

"Good afternoon, Sir Stewart." pormal kong pagbati bago siya tinalikuran upang harapin nalang ang sumasarang pinto ng elevator.

Naramdaman ko naman ang pagtabi sa akin ni Kiel kahit na maluwag pa ang elevator dahil kaming tatlo lang naman ang nasa loob nito.

"Where are you heading?" tanong ni Brendt at tingin ko ay para iyon kay Kiel.

"Out for lunch." sagot naman ni Kiel.

"With her?"

Napapikit ako ng mariin nang isali ako ni Brendt sa usapan.

"Uh... Yes." Kiel answered. "I asked her out for lunch."

Narinig ko naman ang pagtikhim ni Brendt. "Never thought that you're dating someone." sabi nito at mukhang may pinaparating.

Oh, I'm not a playgirl, Brendt. Don't you dare think na kaya kong maglaro ng dalawang lalaki sa isang laro.

Kiel chuckled. "We're not dating at all, Brendt." he corrected.

Matagumpay naman akong napangiti dahil sa paglilinaw ni Kiel nang estado patungkol sa aming dalawa.

"I need to court her first." Kiel added and I almost choke without eating nor drinking anything.

Mabilis ko namang nilingon si Kiel.

"K-Kiel! Tumigil ka nga." masungit kong pagsuway sa kaniya.

"What?" tumawa siya na mukhang walang masama sa kaniyang sinabi.

"Stop making fun of me." I seriously told him.

Ngayon ay kumunot naman ang kaniyang noo. "I'm not making fun of you, Xylia." he said. "It's true. At gusto ko na ring malaman ng bestfriend ko kung sino ang babaeng kinekwento ko sa kaniya ever since you started working here."

Halos malaglag ang panga ko nang akbayan ni Kiel si Brendt.

"Xylia, Brendt's my bestfriend." pakilala niya kay Brendt. "And Brendt, Xylia's the one I've been talking about."

"Oh..." kita ko ang pagtitiim bagang ni Brendt. "Bagay kayong dalawa."

Ang pakurot-kurot na naramdaman ko sa puso ko ay tinuluyan ng saksakin ng nararamdaman ko dahil sa sinabi ni Brendt.

Bumukas ang elevator nang nasa ground floor na kami at walang salitang naunang lumabas si Brendt na para bang nagmamadali.

Napayuko nalang ako't kinagat ang aking pang-ibabang labi habang ginagaya ako ni Kiel patungo sa kaniyang sasakyan.

He brought me to his favorite restaurant that's only a few blocks away from the office. He told me those events that was held in that restaurant at kung gaano siya nasasarapan sa mga ino-offer nilang cuisines.

"Masarap ang pork tenderloin nila dito." Kiel told me as he was looking at the menu. "I suggest that you try that one. Hindi ka magsisisi."

"Hmm... I'll order pork tenderloin and an iced tea." nakangiting sabi ko at nilingon ko ang waiter na kumukuha ng aking order.

"Make it two." sabi naman ni Kiel sa waiter at sumenyas pa ng dalawa.

"Your food will be out in ten minutes." sabi ng waiter at tinanguan nalang namin siya ni Kiel bago siya umalis sa aming table.

Napanguso naman ako't pinaglaruan nalang ang aking cellphone dahil sa awkwardness na bumabalot sa aming dalawa ngayon.

This is mainly because of what he said earlier. I'm not pleased with his sudden confession even if he's just joking or if he really meant it.

"Uhm... About what I said earlier..." he started talking and he trailed off.

Mukhang hindi niya pa alam kung ano ang sasabihin niya sa akin kaya naman tumigil ako sa pagdudutdot sa aking cellphone upang mag-angat ng tingin sa kaniya.

"I know that you're just kidding, Kiel. It's okay. Just don't do it again dahil baka may mga taong maka-misunderstood ng biro mo." sabi ko at nginitian ko siya.

"No, Xylia..." umiling siya at tila nahihirapang sabihin ang gustong sabihin. "I'm... I'm not kidding."

Nawala naman ang aking suot-suot na ngiti. My smile turned slowly into a frown.

"I meant it." he stated. "I meant what I said."

Napasinghap naman ako. "Kiel, you don't know me yet." I told him. "We barely know each other. We just talked a few times with short conversations and that's all!"

I slightly felt guilty with what I said. Sa tingin ko'y kailangan ko rin iyong sabihin sa sarili ko patungkol kay Brendt.

"I already know that you're going to say that." tumatango-tangong sabi niya. "But I just want you to know that the first time you came into the office, you already caught my attention. I tried to make my feelings conspicuous but you never seem to notice that I'm interested. I want to know you more than just my colleague."

He let out a sigh before his sincere eyes, stare into mine.

"All I need is a chance to prove to you how I feel. But if you're not ready yet; if you are still cautious about letting me into your life, then I'm willing to wait. " he said.