Aisha

"Point letter Q" I said looking intently at my daughter who looks exactly like me, the caramel skin tone, gray eyes, plum lips and a very beautiful set of teeth. She would have been prettier if she looked like Ahmad because he would have made a very beautiful woman. He is fair, leaner and has an angelic face. He is every woman’s dream, or at least mine since he is my type. If Zarah looked like him, she would have been more attractive, it seems men love fair women. It takes a very patient man to see the beauty in a darker person, like my Ahmad who is very patient. I cleared my throat noisily watching my daughter. Zarah peered at me then back to the book, she pointed it correctly skeptically. She wasn't sure. The certain letter confuses her. She still hasn't mastered it to be an "O" with an arrow. I clapped for her, smiling brightly. She giggled happily knowing she was right this time.

I have to take her to school; I know it's too early. But I've got no other choice. I have work and I can't keep my child with Ahmad's family. Apart from her getting brutally pampered by her grandparents who will successfully demolish the home training I’ve built. I am equally scared she'd be molested or something worse. There are a lot of cousins, nephews and distant relatives in that house. Ahmad had no siblings from his late mother; he had only his step siblings around. I don’t really want to believe they would care enough to notice if Zarah is getting questionably familiar with any of them, there is always this feeling of fear that grips me when the thoughts of any bad thing happening to my daughter. We all know men have no control over their urges, little things attract them. I am not saying they are bad people but prevention is better than cure. 

I got a perfect school for her but I was told she's too young, they had criteria and Zarah didn't meet up because she is too young. Being the shy person she is, she refused to answer most questions thrown at her at the interview. No amount of motivation would make her talk, to a point I was frustrated, it made me look like a liar but I honestly didn't care. As long as Zarah is okay, I am perfect. Ahmad's step mum advertised her friend's school for me, I did not go there, and I did not want her meddling and asking questions about my baby. She's been supportive, caring, loving and kind. I just don't want her to feel she has to meddle in Zarah's life or have a say in what I should do with my own bundle of joy. So I made up my mind solely to teach her the little I can till she gets older so I'd enroll her in that school. The standard is amazing and Zarah will definitely have a brighter future there.

"Mummy, see …." A knock interrupted her; she turned her attention to the door. Squealing a little "I am coming" she ran to the door, mirroring my movements whenever there's a knock. I smiled and watched her stomping her little feet to the door. I thought it was probably Ahmad's step sisters. They are supposed to be here any minute. While unbolting the door, Zarah quickly hid behind me, something she does all the time. When she's familiar with the intruder, she would squeal and run into their arms. Pushing the door ajar, I came face to face with the love of my life. Goosebumps ran through my back to my neck. I quickly pinched myself to be sure I wasn't dreaming. 

"Ahmad....." I gasped, tears rushing down my cheeks. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't scream, I couldn't shout, I couldn't do anything. "Ahmad" I said again slowly peering into his eyes. He smiled at me sadly then engulfed me in a hug. Cries raked out of my body as I shook while tightening my hug. "You're here! You're really here! I thought I wouldn't see you again" he mumbled as he hugged me tighter. I couldn't say a word. I couldn't say a thing. My emotions are all over the place and crying feels like the only thing I can do. 

"Aisha..." he said, hugging me tightly. Tears of joy cascaded down my cheeks, as I hugged him tightly, burying my face in the croon his neck, shutting my eyes tightly as I prayed silently I wasn't dreaming. 

"I thought I'd lost you.... I thought I will never see you again" I chanted…Zarah mumbled a "mummy" getting our attention back. Ahmad unwrapped his arms as he saw little Zarah staring at both of us. He turned his attention to her. The resemblance is candid; he knows she's ours so he quickly knelt down in front of her. He held out his hands, Zarah mirrored his action. He picked her up and hugged her as he cried. 

"What's her name?" He asked amidst the sobs.

"Zarah…..Fatima Zarah!" I replied. He mumbled her name as he squeezed her a little harder. 

"Our Zarah, our little Zarah" he chanted. I've dreamt about this moment a lot. I didn't think it would happen though. I assumed I would only be able to see this in Jannah. Having Ahmad meet Zarah had always been my wish, I had no idea Allah had taken my request into consideration. When he had gotten lost, they didn't pronounce him dead, instead they said he was just missing. It's quite hard to sit down everyday and hope he's alive. I didn't even know what to expect. 

"Mammy," A voice said, catching my attention. Our little reunion had been so emotional I did not notice there's another person around. I turned around and saw a plum fair woman and a child; she was clutching her baby girl looking at us like some aliens. She looked unfazed by what was happening if not bored. I stared at her the same way she was staring at us. 

"Daddy" The child squealed, not liking the graveyard tune the rowdy place had turned. Ahmad had forgotten he had visitors with all indications. Our little reunion had definitely taken his mind off the woman. I saw him pale, but I had this ray of hope in me, telling me I heard wrong.

"Let's go inside" he said pointing towards the door but I didn't move. I needed clarification immediately. "Aisha, I need you to come sit, so we can talk" he added looking panicked. I knew all was not well. My suspicions had better be wrong. There's no explanation that would suffice because what is in my head is not something I can handle. "Please let's just go in," he said, moving closer to me. I felt my head spinning, I don't want to be rude, but had he met me on my period he would have to say whatever it is he has to say outside.

I clasped my hands on my mouth, tears blurring my vision. How could he do this to me? My fear has been confirmed, Of course he remarried. How could he just go ahead and remarry? He didn't even think of coming back home to us. After everything I've been through because of him. What sort of betrayal is this?

"Are you joking?" I asked him, seething in anger. 

"Calm down. I have a perfect explanation for this. It didn't just happen. A lot happened to me" he said, standing up too, clutching Zarah on his side.

"What explanation! What explanation Ahmad? You came back home with a woman and a child! How? Whatever happened to coming back home to us? Do you even know how hard it was for us? We thought you were dead, I ill Ahmad, I almost lost my sanity because I thought I had lost you and you came here with a woman" I screamed as loud as I could, startling the little girl in Chinelo's hand. She started wailing, stretching her hands towards him. On seeing that, he handed Zarah to me and quickly picked her up. Am I dreaming?

He picked up the cup of water I had served Chinelo and gave it to Uche, but she refused the water and clutched him tightly, mumbling and complaining about God knows what. Zarah on the other hand stared at them the same way I was staring at them. They looked like a perfect family, whereas my daughter and I were the outsiders. After getting her to calm down, he handed her back to her mother who I felt was quite daring. How could she just follow a man back home? A man with a wife, I hissed loudly and started tapping my feet as I shook with so much anger.

"Aisha! I was attacked…. She found me in the pool of my blood, my colleagues left me there to die. She dragged me and had her brothers take me back to their home….”

Another knock stopped him amidst his sentence. I walked to the door knowing it's his sister. On seeing him the screams of joy filled the house, and just like I did, it became quiet after seeing Chinelo and her daughter. 

"Yaya, how could you do this to her. Do you know the hell we've all been through? I cannot believe you could do this. I cannot believe you will go and marry an Igbo lady" his sister said, disbelief evident in her face. Ahmad's face contoured in disgust. 

"Stop this tribal stupidity. We are tired, stressed and need rest. Don't frustrate us. We've traveled and we need rest. I'll go see Baba later. Is the other room available Aisha?" He turned his attention to me. I frowned and nodded knowing it's better they go stay in the other room. I picked up my daughter in tears and headed to my room with his sisters trailing behind us.

"We won't allow you to stand for this. You have our support, we will fight for you. You don't deserve this. Baba must hear this, I'll be sure to poison his mind before Ahmad goes to see him" one lamented adding to my frustrations. Their complaints are making it real, I was hoping to sleep, wake up and find out this is a dream. I couldn't believe I was wickedly wishing Ahmad had stayed missing. He had hurt me beyond words, how on earth did he do that to me? I let out a wail when the pain threatened to choke me. 

"We will deal with her for you. Don't bother yourself Maman Zarah" the other said, giving me a hug. I know they have my back, but I know deep down that woman is here to stay, there's no way Ahmad will send her back home. Not after bearing him a child. They kept lamenting till I slept off.

***

"I don't consent to this your marriage, but since you've made up your mind Ahmad, there's nothing I can do but pray for you" his father stated tiredly. I felt my heart shattering in pieces. I looked at Ahmad, but he refused to look back at me. He had his head bowed down the moment he saw me looking up. Thank God he has the audacity to feel shy. His sisters started making side talks, his stepmother included but his father didn't say a word after those sentences. We had been seated in his father's living room for over five hours, trying to get Ahmad to drop this woman, but he remained adamant. He countered every single point brought forth. His mind was made up, and he wasn't backing down. He didn't mind my cries as he kept trying ways to make us see Chinelo as his wife. I guess this was how he fought for me too. Amongst their protest, I decided to ask Ahmad the one question that I had been meaning to ask. 

"What about me, Ahmad? I prayed for you every single day of my life. I prayed to God to bless you every day. I lost my sanity, my self, my life and almost lost your child Ahmad. I was miserable, my family asked me to come back but I stayed back so I don't deprive your child of access to her family. Ahmad, that child looks younger than Zarah, It meant you had a quick recovery. I was here wallowing in my misery and you were there frolicking with this thing! Haba! How did I offend you Ahmad? How did I offend you? What have I ever done to you to deserve this? Ahmad you've destroyed me, you have shattered my heart into pieces, Ahmad you have wronged me"

"Aisha it's not as easy as you think. I am very sorry this happened to us" he defended; she risked her life to save me from the hands of those cultists. She took me to her family. If she had left me there, I would have died, Aisha. I was unconscious for …"

"Keep quiet. Don't poison my ears with the same story. I don't want to hear it" his father surprisingly came to my defense. Just then Chinelo ran out of the house crying. Ahmad stood up and followed her much to my dismay. I felt a painful jab in my heart. I placed my hands on my chest trying to regulate my breaths, but it was no use, so I did the only thing I felt would work out for me. I wailed as loudly as I could, I needed to let it all out. His siblings ran to my side, persuading me, but I could not stop because I just realized I've lost Ahmad forever. A part of me silently wished he never came back. My poor daughter will never know a fathers love, with the pace at which Ahmad is going. I don't think he'll ever love her the way he loves little Uche, it is obvious by the way he ran after Chinelo. My poor baby had been rendered fatherless by these strangers.